Is Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?

[AKADonna]

Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

[Charla McBee]

It certainly can be. There are plenty of people who identify as fetish CDers and that's all they ever claim to be. I also think a lot of us start off thinking along those lines but it often progresses into something way beyond that. I'm 27 now and for several years dressing has become simply something I need to do, it can still be exciting in that way but for the most part it just has a calming effect. If I don't do it for a long period of time I will lose my mind. There is a lot about me that is decidedly masculine but I also recognize that I have plenty of feminine traits and with all this dressing has shifted in the direction of gender expression.

I do often wonder if hormones play any role in all this as I have reason to believe that my own may or may have been just a little off at some point.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Funny, but my H is starting to acknowledge that he now thinks it's always been a sexual thing for him too, and that maybe it's changed over time as most things do in our complicated human lives.

I don't really see why this bothers so many here. Sexuality is who we are, not just something we do. Otherwise, the world wouldn't be so bothered by homosexuality - it would just be something people did in private so who cares? But we know that's not true - it's a part of who they are as much as crossdressing is part of who you are. Dressing for sexual reasons is as legitimate as dressing for gender and only those with their own insecurities would ever say otherwise. :)

[Katey888]

Tinks, you do get right to the nitty gritty, don't you... (in a nice way... :))

I agree - and the fact that we are sexual beings is too often played down... It's society that places bounds on sexual behaviour - those boundaries are about control and power (and actually a fair bit of sexuality is too.. ;)) - sex is used to sell things, sex is sold, women's clothing - particularly - is sexual in it's design, so that has a big connection with what we do, in my mind... :)

Donna - I love the way you say you're 'convinced' about sexuality, as if you don't really want to remember or are mildly embarrassed by the possibility? But I agree with your POV - this was a primarily sexual thing for me until the past few years, but now if I look back before more recent times, I realise that it wasn't just sexual - if I had the chance I'd spend as long as possible dressed when away from home, and I realise now that I was always feeling that background level of harmony and rightness some of us have mentioned...

So I think it has both elements for me, but has definitely swung to a 'gender thing' in the past few years.

Katey x

[Wildaboutheels]

" I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement."

Bad, BAD, B A D CDer!!!!

Are you trying to give CDers a bad name? It almost sounds like you had an O or possibly a couple while wearing some item/s of women's clothes way back when dinosaurs were still roaming the earth. Say it ain't so!

FACT: Most all here at least "passed through" that stage, regardless of the age they started dressing. Very few will deny it and many of the ones that DO DENY it have "faulty memories". [as checking other posts from them will confirm] It's likely the Os promote/d "much" of the Guilt and Shame that is never in short supply here. So obviously many are happy to leave the Os behind them. But our Human Brains are simply not going to allow us to EVER forget that ASSOCIATION with clothing with Os.

I have no experience with "recreational drugs" of any sort so I could be wrong but my guess is that few things on the planet are as addictive as MALE Os. Male Os keep us on the planet. They better be addictive. It's no accident that 1] they cost nothing, 2] they are extremely easy for most men of "breeding age" and 3] It's primarily a man's VISION that makes both 1 and 2 possible. [getting ready for a visit to O land easy]

If this site were to remove all pics and allow nothing but arrangements of letters, just how long do you think this site would last?

FEmales are not visual like men are, as it goes against THEIR most basic programming. It also accounts for WHY there are so few FtM CDers. Easy enough to confirm. FEmales are also very UNlikely to think with their little heads simply BECAUSE of the way a man "presents" himself.

"Presents" himself... as in CLOTHING.

Of course... I could be missing something? I think most Humans agree that "most" women have their LBDs, minis, high heels and "display of cleavage" at their disposal to make "favorable impressions".

The equivalent for men would be...?????????????????????????

Actually "being successful" is the best tool for men [to most women] simply because "being successful" increases the chances he will be a "better father".

My dressing has not changed in 50 years and it seems to be the same for many others here. [that don't post very often/choose to be mostly lurkers] My guess is that they too, have never felt any shame or guilt because of their basic Male "programming". You can't fight Mother Nature and to deny it, makes little sense.

I have little doubt that "most" men who went on to transition [and were happy about it] are likely the ones who never got "excited" from putting on/wearing FEmale items.

I don't see a problem either way. There is no right or wrong way or reason to "dress" any way one wants to as long as it doesn't break any laws. And age has nothing to do with it, although what you described for yourself seems to be the "norm" here for the majority of the Forum Dinos.

I'd be willing to bet a years pay, that had Pavlov continued with his dogs for an extended number of years, some of the dog's who had lost most of their teeth would be quite "happy" with just drooling.

[ColleenA]

When I began dressing in my sister's clothes in 7th grade, it was definitely for fetish arousal. For the next few years, the chief story of my dressing up was that I would get aroused and climax, but quickly had to take the clothes off again. I was glad for occasions, then, when I could keep the clothes on for an hour or so - say, when I had the house to myself on a weekday afternoon when my parents and older siblings were still at work or school.

As time went on, especially once I was an adult and had more privacy, it was nice to be able to keep the clothes on and enjoy them for more than just the arousal they provoked. I appreciated opportunities to dress and just be Colleen (though she had no name for many years), doing simple things around the house. The sexual component has never completely gone away, but Colleen is a much bigger part of my life than she ever could have been in my teens.


... my H is starting to acknowledge that he now thinks it's always been a sexual thing for him too, and that maybe it's changed over time as most things do in our complicated human lives.

I'll make a comparison to driving. When I first got my license, it represented freedom to not rely on my parents or school buses or public transportation or my bicycle to get around - pretty basic stuff. But it eventually came to mean a lot more. I could drive 50 miles to visit "the city" on my own. Driving took me to college (and back home on holiday breaks). Many years later, it meant family vacations, Boy Scout camping trips with my sons, even moving across country. Did I envision any of that at 16? No, of course not.

In the same way, when I was 12, I did not/could not imagine actual intimacy with my wife while cross dressed or the pleasure of just hanging around the house all day on a Sunday, doing everyday things in a skirt and bra. As Tinkerbell indicates, things just change over time.


I think most Humans agree that "most" women have their LBDs, minis, high heels and "display of cleavage" at their disposal to make "favorable impressions". The equivalent for men would be...?????????????????????????

In recent years, it seems one equivalent - at least in the minds of guys - are cell-phone pics of their penises sent to women. Just the other day, a friend of mine told me a guy who has been trying to get with her for years - who she keeps sending clear "No" messages to - contacted her after six months of silence with a number of messages all in one day. The first one? A photo of his penis.

I asked her if there are many (any?) women for whom that sort of approach works.

[Alexis.j]

I would say it is! Why do woman get dressed up in heels and sexy clothes? Because it is comfortable? Or practical????
I think not....

I know this is not 'exactly' what the poster is getting at, but it is still worth mentioning.

[Kate Simmons]

For some it's sexual, for other it's not, for others it just is. It is a process and how we manage it will depend on how we view it. :battingeyelashes::)

[Cheryl T]

It began as very sexual when I was in my teens and over time has changed dramatically.
It kind of seems a normal progression for me as I was randy in either mode as a teen and then as I matured other things in life took the forefront. I no longer derive that sexual stimulation from dressing but I do feel that desire to be very feminine and sexy at times while most of the time it's just about being me now.

[Marcelle]

Hi Donna,

For me when I first dressed complete "en femme" at age 17 there was a huge sexual component built it (a role play sexual thing with my GF at the time). Never dressed again after that for 32 years. Oh don't get me wrong, I utilized various clothing items sexually during that time. However when I began dressing again last year there was no sexual component involved it was just clothing and it felt good to be out and about in that clothing. It is just about being me now.


" ... Females are not visual like men are, as it goes against THEIR most basic programming. It also accounts for WHY there are so few FtM CDers. Easy enough to confirm. FEmales are also very UNlikely to think with their little heads simply BECAUSE of the way a man "presents" himself ... Actually "being successful" is the best tool for men [to most women] simply because "being successful" increases the chances he will be a "better father".

WAH . . . Huh :confused: I have many GG friends and have been out shopping with them in the daytime (en femme) sitting in many a restaurant. Not visual . . . ahhhhh . . . further from the truth. Since I am part of the group I have listened to many a GG talk about how a "guy's butt looks great in a pair a jeans" or "how a shirt fits just right on a certain guy". I have also heard them talk about "how it would be great to undress that package for some fun time". Nobody once mentioned "I wonder what kind of father he would make or how successful he was". We (humans) are all visual at first it is what attracts us to one another . . . the other stuff (what kind of person he/she may be) comes later when it is time to get serious.

Your contention may hold for some GGs but it is a brave new world out there and guess what "Hot guys are on the menu just like hot girls".

Hugs

Isha

[Princess Chantal]

My crossdressing has various aspects to it, in which I am proud of them all. A few of the aspects could be described as dipping into the sexual waters and I feel no shame in owning up to it. I'd say most of my crossdressing is of a socializing nature though and exploring my curiousities associated with the female gender that tend to differ from the social norms of the male gender

[lostcrow]

For me at this time it is just purely sexual. I don't know how it will be in the future though. I do now a days sleep dressed.

[alwayshave]

I'm pretty sure when I was five years old there was no sexual component to it. When I was a teenager, most definitely there was a sexual component. Now, sometimes, sometimes not.

[reb.femme]

Definitely began as a sexual thing for me and still can be. I just love the gentle feel of the clothes more so these days, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with an O inspired session. Wore a nightie to bed last night and kept that and a robe on all morning whilst doing the ironing, as my wife is working nights (no not those sort of nights :heehee:) and I just love the way it clings and wafts around as I move. Glory days!

Rebecca

[Erica Marie]

I too was a cd who found sexual pleasure from the cloths. Like alot of others here I went through many different stages from sexual to purging to more of a complete transformation to more purging to where I am today. Now I just want to feel comfortable in the body I have. Due to finances and family I dont see a permanent change anywhere in my near future. Now its not so much about transforming and dressing but just being me. Im am taking small steps to have a more gender neutral appearance and just who I feel inside.

[Milou]

Purely sexual for me, but I'm still young. We'll see how things progress.

[natcrys]

As captain Lassard would say.. crossdressing consists of many many many many wonderful things! The clothes, the make-up, the perfume, the heels, the shopping, the hanging out with the girls, the partying, the vanity.. and yes.. sex!

Enjoy whatever you like.. and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed! :)

[pattyjones954]

It began as a sexual thing for me and still can be. I just love the gentle feel of the clothes more these days and felling feminine

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Donna, self gratification while dressed in women's garb , during puberty, would be our common denominators. We all pleasures ourselves during puberty. Sexiness will always be a component of cding. Feeling pretty & sexy is part of the dress ritual . However , for me , dressing is relatively new & an evolution. Being older, dressing is for de-stressing from the woes of being a man . Dressing is a comfort that I look forward to & hope to become better at. The sex act is not the driving force. It's the joy of looking & feeling feminine . What inner peace that brings to me . How about you?

[linda booth]

I'm in my 60's. I still dress for sexual reasons & for a love of the clothes. I've read so many posts in the past about no longer being interested in the sexual ( as if there were something wrong with it). You shouldn't have to give up 1 for the other.

[Laura28]

I am in my Mid Fifties, when i was young it was sexual for me but i also loved being dressed, as i grew older i find it is just a part of me and makes me feel relaxed and whole. So i guess my answer is that when i was young 10 to 20 it was sexual but then stoped being that somewhere in my 20's and now later in life it is just something i love and enjoy and feel so much better about it.

[Ressie]

I'm a little late on this thread. All morning I was in my bedroom, alone, all dressed up…. I'm exhausted!

[Sandra]

Ressie good one lol

I think that once you become settled in who you are then maybe the sexual aspect wains. For Nigella is was sexual but as time went on and she got older, dressed more and was free to dress when she wanted then the sexual aspect did decrease.

[NicoleScott]

I'm pretty sure when I was five years old there was no sexual component to it. When I was a teenager, most definitely there was a sexual component.

This is interesting, and something I have wondered about myself. By five years old I was drawn to magazines and catalogs to look at pretty models wearing pretty things, but I didn't know what to do with this attraction. Later, I discovered they caused erections, and even later my first orgasm happened. From then on, CDing was and still is sexual for me, but could it have been sexual by age five, even if I lacked the ability to bring it to the conclusions that came later as my body matured?
Or was that attraction driven by some degree of femininity which took a back seat once the sexual aspect kicked in?
While transforming is still largely sexual, there are other aspects, however minor. I enjoyed going out some - it was a thrill - and when I did, it wasn't sexual. And I thought transforming was fun and challenging apart from sexual even when I did the "home alone" thing.
My dressing has progressed. It's still sexual, but I have progressed to even greater pleasures than before.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is originally driven by a sexual desire, as it progresses other more interesting activities tend to take over.
I think I discovered girls later in life, the dressing desire did linger though..... A LOT.

[Teresa]

I have to go with Colleen and Linda Booth in their replies. My sexual experience with CDing started at 9 years and has never gone away, I've hit my sixties now and testosterone has gone through the roof, I don't know why but it's since my last favourable talk with my wife !

[Rhonda Jean]

Speaking strictly for myself here...

Hell yes it's sexual!!! When I first got on this forum I was a straight, happily married father of two, going out of town once a month or so to get my girl on. Lifelong crossdresser. Wife knew before we were married. Blah, blah, blah.

I used all the angles. "Just like to feel pretty". "I relaxes me". "It provides an escape". I used them all, and pretty well had even myself convinced. Well... except for that little voice in my head when I looked in the mirror! BAD, BAD, voice!!! I'm just trying to relax!!! Yeah, right! But I had to try to convince her it wasn't sexual or I'd be in big trouble.

Now I'm beholding to nobody. I don't have to intellectualize it to anyone, and I'm free to enjoy it for all it really is. All of those things I said before are still true, but you better believe it's intoxicatingly sexual!! And if I let it, it leads to even more intoxicatingly sexual things!!

Before anybody gets their panties in too tight of a wad, that doesn't have to mean gay! I could just as easily mean between a husband and wife! Oh the horror! A husband and wife actually having mind-blowingly awesome sex! Something wrong with that picture!

I'll get off my soapbox now. Did I answer your question?

[Adriana Moretti]

sex?? and crossdressing??? nooooo...they dont go together do they? Like most here it definately started as a sexual thing but i grew out of that. I still get a little turned on occasionally dressed...but its not the main reason anymore...

[Tracii G]

Maybe in the beginning but I got over that in a hurry.

[ClaraKay]

If by 'sexual' you mean sexually arousing, then NO, as long as I keep my T under control. :D

[Wildaboutheels]

"It's the Clothes, silly" that allow some Male brains to "drag out" the high of a 7 second O into minutes, hours or days.

I can't imagine what could possibly be wrong with that?

Probably not likely to include "granny dresses" and flats though?

[Babbs]

Its sexual when in skimpy lingerie, but when doing the full dress its more of a fantastic feel of being able to enjoy my femme side. Shopping and dressing and gabbing with you girls is not sexual its just great.

[MssHyde]

I used to feel led to dress and it was also a turn on,, now I fell led to dress and its just some thing I need to do.. it has changed for me. however I need to be out dressed, looking in the mirror or at pictures is not enough.

I want to be out in the world experiencing life as the woman I've come to know so well.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree, Babbs. When I'm out dressed with the girls or on here chatting? Sex NEVER enters my mind!:)

When I'm home alone with Sherry and have finished a photo/dressing session? I nearly ALWAYS think about sex with that hot babe in the mirror!:devil:

I often wonder:
The girls that say dressing used to be sexual but is not anymore, r they as sexual in other ways now as back then? Or, is sex not important period anymore?

To me, sex is life!:heehee:

[NicoleScott]

I nearly ALWAYS think about sex with that hot babe in the mirror!

Hey Doc, we must have bought our mirrors from the same place. Let's just keep this as our little secret, ok?

[LilSissyStevie]

It amazes me that most people are not able to change what turns them on over their lifetime but apparently many crossdressers can. They start out with CDing being sexually charged and end up later in life being total studs in the bedroom and girly girls at the mall.
:)

I didn't know much about sex when I started CDing at 4 or 5 years old but I can admit that it was vaguely erotic even then. By the time I reached puberty I was nearly unable to become aroused by thinking of myself in a masculine role. As my libido increased I was able to function as a male most of the time. Now that my libido is waning, I'm back where I started. What is sexual for me is the thought of myself as female or feminine. The clothes are only symbolic. They're not necessary anymore. This is not the same thing as saying I'm turned on by myself as a girl. I still need others to be turned on. It's just that I can't relate to them sexually in a masculine way.

[Eryn]

For a young male, almost everything has a sexual component to it. It's a biological imperative built into our basic nature to perpetuate the species.

For Olde Folkes like me, dressing may not be sexual at all. It is possible to enjoy being dressed up, even in heels and a pretty dress, and simply enjoy being seen as looking nice. I was out at a "Tie and Jacket" private club the other day in a nice pleated silver knee-length dress and enjoyed the looks I was getting, but none of them felt particularly sexual.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

but could it have been sexual by age five...

There was an article Reine posted some time ago about exactly this - yes, you can be sexual at age 5. In fact, we are sexual beings from birth and again, we're all mixing up sexuality with the sex act itself. But that's not the case and the things we are innocently drawn to as small children often end up being the things that turn us on later. Why were you drawn to feminine clothing? Who knows, maybe these things are random. Though, as far as turn ons go, I imagine women's lingerie is a fairly common interest for boys? My young son has spotted that mommy dresses differently and he often likes the texture of my clothing. So it's not hard to map a pathway in that regard. You might even have been one of those little boys who notice and like girls earlier than others. I see these boys in my everyday dealings with my own kids and they're always the ones throwing me admiring glances and little flirtations.

Yep, I've had 5 year old boys flirt with me :)

Point is, human sexuality doesn't kick in at puberty - it's always with us. Puberty is when you can finally do something about it!

[dana digs sweaters]

No. Wasn't when I was dressing before puberty. Isn't now after puberty.
As we all know what puberty does to us.......
Dressing up during that time was based on availability of time and clothes.
Puberty did not motivate me to crossdress even more before I knew what puberty was.
Crossdressing now at my age means awaking Grog to use my "artistic creativity" to transform into the honey in the mirror.

[StacyLynn]

I suppose it can be for some people. When I started it was more out of youthful curiosity. During my adolescent years there was some sexual element to it, but I think that was mostly due to the risk of being caught. Then I stopped for a few years during high school. I was a very busy guy during high school, then started again right after college. I think there was a small sexual element then too, but at the time I only dressed in lingerie, and it wasn't too long before that became to feel hollow. I then realized that it wasn't a sexual thing for me and I wanted to push my dressing further. And now fast forward today, I dress 2-3 times a week and there's nothing sexual about it anymore.

[Babbs]

Nicole and Sherry, I love me, who do you love? lol

[Diversity]

In my younger years, CD'ing was both a curiosity thing and a sexual thing for me. In my later years, it has definitely become a gender thing, where I feel peace, harmony, and contentment when dressed. While the sexual stirrings tend to surface, depending upon my state of mind at the particular time, it is no where near where it was in my teen and mid-twenty years.
Di

[JaneHenderson]

The thrill of breathlessness, the expectancy, the feel of garments, the smell of make-up, the memory that comes with the odour of nights ever never able to be washed away, the heart beat that threatens to explode a rib cage, the mirror that flatters everytime, the hand on a stockinged thigh, the fall back against a wall as a hard body presses, the giving in...it's always so wonderfully sexual.

[lpjamey]

The excitement of dressing up may be sexaual for a short time but to me it's a feeling of woman. I love all of thd the elements of women. The feeling of pulling on thigh highs, the heels, panties, skirts and all of the other things woman.

[Robin777]

When I started crossdressing it was all a sexual thing, I was probably 12-13 at the time. I would sneak the dressing in when the parents were not home. Then over the years it evolved into more enjoying it for the wearing of the clothing with a little of the sexual component still there. I think for me at times there will always be some sexual excitement at times to the dressing. Most of the time I dress to satisfy a need in myself.

[sexycindy]

When I first come out to my gf that I enjoy dressing she assumed it was a sexual thing and I will admit, doing the laying down tango is great as Cindy, and I started to think it was a sexual thing. That was until I decided to go for a walk (late at night with no-one around) and realised that I felt great and this is part of who I am. Cindy is about the house more than out, although that should change soon as I'm getting more confident again.

[Rhonda Jean]

Let's slice this a little thinner. I think that many of us may be equating "sexual" with "ending in ejaculation". Take away the ejaculation part.

I think even at 4 or 5 years old there can be sexual component, just in a 4 or 5 year old way. I remember very well having "feelings" about girls when I was that age. A tingle, a nervousness, an admiration. I had a reaction to pretty girls. A different reaction than to not-so-pretty girls, and different from boys. That counts as sexual to me.

I'll throw out another one. When you go out into the public dressed, people react to you as a woman or as a tranny (depending on how well you pass). There is a sexual component in how some of these people react to you. Not overt or spoken. It probably will happen silently in their mind, but it colors the way the world reacts to you. Whether their thinking "she's hot!" or "he must be gay" or "I'm not sure whether that's a man or a woman", there's a sexual aspect to it.

If I'm completely forthcoming about it, I WANT there to be a sexual component to it! I work my ass off to look like a woman. To be pretty, and, yes, (shame on me!) a little sexy. I'm not looking to get "picked up", but at the very least I hope that along the way someone, male or female, thinks "she's pretty", or at least "he makes a pretty good looking (convincing) woman. That's sexual.

[Kate's at home]

As I started dressing at ages 4-6, all I can remember then is wanting to be pretty and feeling the silky clothes on me...somehow to know what's it's like to be a girl. Definitely gender driven. Later, in mid teens on, the sexual thing came in to the picture too. For a long time the question was to be or be with with one exception... Now, and for the last 10 plus years, it's essentially back to gender driven, and the feminine feelings that come with it dressed. Now, that's not to say that I don't enjoy and act on some periodic desires to be a girl with my wife.

Kate

[Raychel]

not sexual at all, just who I am, and how I enjoy to dress.

[Krista1985]

Is it sexual? Yeah, dressing up and having female features is a major turn on for me.

I've only been dressing for 5 years and change, but in that time (roughly age 23.5 to 29.1) it's remained fairly consistent in that. I've heard anecdotally that it could become a comfort thing over time as many others point out. I'll check back in after another 5 years and let you know!

[Michala]

It used to be a sexual thing. Now I just like the feeling of dressing and looking like a woman. It used to be dressing very sexual, now it's dressing more classy and ladylike. Looking like a female my age.

[ArleneRaquel]

In the past it certainly was, that element is still there, but to a lesser degree.

[Tami Monroe]

While I always had feminine feelings come over me, even from a young age, I will admit that during my teenage years through my late 20s, the sexual aspect of CDing played a role. However, over the years, just like a dignified lady, as I have aged, I still have the feminine feelings, but the sexual aspect has diminished a bit. Obviously, at my age, I dress a lot more sensibly, and less "sexy" as I did 25 years ago. I guess I am starting to go through the CD equivalent of menopause, for a lack of a better term. The femininity overrides everything else for me, especially now. I only wish I got into learning more about wigs and makeup 25 years ago, instead of starting in my early 40s.

[Taylor Ray]

Maybe the thread title should include the word "My", as in:

"Is My Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?"

[AKADonna]

It sure sounds that way, Taylor, Ray! I didn't realize that I was opening such a long discussion thread. It sounds like most of us at least had some great O's early on and some of us have continued that, but as I became more mature, so did my attitude and seriousness about exploring my feminine side. Now, feeling pretty and feminine is every bit as important to me than any sexual feelings that I have from time to time when dressed up. For example, earlier in my CD journey, I thought that big boobs, short skirts and wild hairdoos equaled SEXY; now i feel that femininity, blending in with women my age and being a mature woman is far more interesting, fun and sexy!

[Christina Sevilla]

When i was younger i would get turned on by wearing women' clothing. If i had the desire to and play with myself either before dressing up or while dressed, the desire goes away. Now when i'm dressed it just feels natural and i don't feel any sexual excitement. Could have been my male hormones during that time causing it.

[ophelia]

It has always been a very intensely sexual thing for me, always ending in a "pleasurable release". There have been some unexpected moments in the mirrors of dress shops where it was nearly...embarassing. When "untucking" after a succesful outing I have often found DNA evidence on the thong. May it ever be so.
The accelerating acceptance of LGBT issues in society may have taken away some of the danger/thrill which I am certain was part of the sexual aspect. Of late as I have invested in higher levels of makeup and coiffure (my own hair) I have received some wonderful compliments from some attractive women and that is just a whole new level of turn-on.
But there are some constants, some reliable turn-ons like the scent of hairspray, Chanel No5, the scent of lipstick, the feeling of eyelash glue hitting your eyelid and firming up..., the slick coolness of liquid eyeliner,
my hair springing back in tight curls after 30minutes under the dryer.....

[Joyce S.]

I'd have to say it is both sexual and non-sexual and I suspect it is the same for most here but, in different proportions. For me it is a lot of fun to just look the best I can. I like to view it as a challenge. I would like to be 100% passable but, know it will never happen in my eyes till I stop looking for the guy in the mirror everytime I dress. I look at other CD'ers pictures and I am jealous how beautiful the look to me. I'm not sure I will ever get there and that's okay with me. It is still lots of fun. Sexually and just playing around. Cheers!

JS

[Gillian Gigs]

Some one said what is the defination of sexual. It was sexual for me even before I knew what a "release" was. There was something so sensual about it, that I continually did it, yet not understanding why it made me feel the way it did. Then came the first release while dressed, and I was scared, confused as to what was going on. Even with all of this I couldn't stay away from dressing. The way I now know it was sexual for me is based on the fact that after the big "O", I couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough. All desire would leave immediately after the "O". It took many years before I got beyond the removing the clothes right away. There are times now that I feel that all I have done is stretch out the pre-time to three or four days before the "O" happens, then afterwards the clothes have a slightly different significance. Still enjoyable, but in a different way. I haven't made up my mind which is better. Sensual is the word that best describes the whole experience.

[Amilia Who]

It started as s sexual thing, but as time has gone on. It's a release and also gender identity and comfort.

[sometimes_miss]

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?
For some people it is, for others, it isn't. I rarely feel any sexual feelings when dressed as a girl, and when I do, it's a conflicting 'I'm attracted to that girl, but I also feel like I'm supposed to be and behave as a girl' type of thing.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There was an article Reine posted some time ago about exactly this - yes, you can be sexual at age 5. In fact, we are sexual beings from birth and again, we're all mixing up sexuality with the sex act itself. But that's not the case and the things we are innocently drawn to as small children often end up being the things that turn us on later. Why were you drawn to feminine clothing? Who knows, maybe these things are random. Though, as far as turn ons go, I imagine women's lingerie is a fairly common interest for boys? My young son has spotted that mommy dresses differently and he often likes the texture of my clothing. So it's not hard to map a pathway in that regard. You might even have been one of those little boys who notice and like girls earlier than others. I see these boys in my everyday dealings with my own kids and they're always the ones throwing me admiring glances and little flirtations.

Yep, I've had 5 year old boys flirt with me :)

Point is, human sexuality doesn't kick in at puberty - it's always with us. Puberty is when you can finally do something about it!

Very good point, we learn what turns us on at a very early age, and it certainly can be sexual when one is 5. Not necessarily sexual in the sense of an eventual release, but you do discover what is appealing to you when young, even if you cannot articulate how you feel or why. It is not surprising so many are attracted to women's lingerie, especially the traditional styles women wore back in the day, both the sensual feel as well as the association with a source of love and comfort (their mother.)

[darla_g]

You know at some point I think it is a sexual turn on for most guys. If you deny it you may just be kidding yourself. After you've done it for a while you may not get the same degree of turn on. I know now sometimes i am really into the craft of it all.

BTW Tinkerbell i loved your post.

[sheilagirl]

Hell Yes!...but that's not all.

[Jessica86]

I guess I'm the only "grown up" here still at the peak of enjoyment? I feel like the sexual part has progressed WITH my age, and WITH my level of enjoyment of being dressed. Sometimes, I just dress, sit, and watch TV. I've played video games with my friends online...dressed. Other times....well, we won't discuss other times. You get the picture.

[lostcrow]

I'm right there with you jessica. It's such a damn turn on I just can't help it.

[NathalieX66]

Sure. Sometimes. Yes. No. Not always.

We are the product of our own imaginations, and self realizations.

The question is what is the difference between sexual turn-on, and our own gender identity? That's how you figure yourself out.

[Athena_]

I am not ashamed to say that I am still very confused as to why I dress. There is definitely a sexual component to dressing up, but that is not the only reason. Dressing as a woman is a major stress relief. It is though I am a different person for a short time. I can forget my troubles with work and family when I am Athena. The transformation must end at some time, usually with some sort of release, but not always. I find that the longer it has been since I was last Athena, the more I think about her.

Whatever the reason, I love that I have a female part of myself. It is an important part of my personality.

[Manny]

That's so true I feel relived everytime I do so

[NathalieX66]

It really comes down to defining your self by two magical chemicals called estrogen and testosterone......which one are you in your own true self? Both work in different ways, but neither is more superior to the other.

If you're a guy who likes being a guy with all the biological male functions, and you happen to have a feminine side, then knock yourself out, and be you. The reality is you are quite ordinary and commonplace.

[Confucius]

I started cross-dressing in early childhood. I remember doing it because I thought that my mother would love me better if I was a girl. So when I was 4-5 years old it was not a sexual thing. Then I felt gratification at the thought that I could be a girl just for a few moments. There was a sense of well-being, accomplishment and I felt it made me closer to my mother. Once adolescence started then cross-dressing was definitely sexual. I remember those first moment and how I was confused over what happened. It was so very stimulating, I felt I could explode. However this was not the innocent cross-dressing I knew as a child. Now it would lead to masturbation. I liked the cross-dressing but the masturbation parts would make me feel disgusted with myself. As I have aged into my 60's cross-dressing is less about sex and more about comfort, stress reduction, and about relishing beauty for beauty's sake.

Testosterone definitely plays a role in the sexual parts of cross-dressing, but cross-dressing is more than just sexual.

If cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia, then our brains have been hard-wired to respond to cross-dressing as if we were in actual contact with a female. This causes our brain to release neurotransmitters: Dopamine which anticipates the gratification response, Serotonin which produces a sense of well-being, happiness, and oxytocin which is associated with bonding (love), social empathy, and trust. There are probably other neurotransmitters associated with cross-dressing as well.

So high levels of testosterone will make cross-dressing into a sexual experience. After all our brain is thinking "contact with a female". However our level of testosterone will vary with age, and cross-dressing just continues, moving forward with our tastes. It's the neurotransmitters that make us cross-dressers and not the testosterone.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Confucius, I find your post fascinating. My H definitely had issues when he was very young related to how he felt as a boy around his mother and sister (he thought girls were more important as his father had no interest in him). What I'm confused about is what you mean by hard wiring. Does this mean my H wired his brain to crossdress? Or was it there all along? I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it?? And if we all suddenly dressed the same like Star Trek (threw that in for any trekkies here, lol) would men such as yourself and my H still have tried to be feminine?

Anyway, that's an interesting theory. I've never even heard of this 'synesthesia' before but it's the most logical theory I've heard yet, and my H sounds like a textbook case.

[sometimes_miss]

What I'm confused about is what you mean by hard wiring. Does this mean my H wired his brain to crossdress? Or was it there all along?
He could 'wire' it, someone else could 'wire' it, but most likely it was a combination of many influences, perhaps as well as the theory that once the question about his own identity is realized, it can make him susceptible to further questions about gender.

I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it??
It's not the clothes. It's what the clothes represent (as well as hairstyles, body mechanics and vocal patterns, all each have distinctly male OR female categories). The way our society is structured, ONLY females wear certain clothing types, so wearing those clothes signifies to ourselves and others that we either are female, want to present as female, want to be female, or perhaps simply don't like being male.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

..as well as the theory that once the question about his own identity is realized, it can make him susceptible to further questions about gender.

This is another intriguing post. As the mother of young children, I'm well aware that gender realisation isn't until about age 6. Meaning, until that age, children believe they can be either/or/both/nothing. Currently, my son thinks he can be a Ninja Turtle. He's very serious about this :) What I'm wondering is whether you mean a child before this age can get derailed from his/her path somehow and by age 6, they've somehow connected with the wrong gender? Or a Ninja Turtle?!

My H would be a pretty classic case of this derailment as his father was a pr**k and didn't care about him at all. His mother over compensated for this by doing the role of both parents, and his sister, being the brighter, prettier one, was just revered. I don't think my H had a very good male role model anywhere in his life, and women, in his mind and to this day, are just better.

But while this theory works for my H, what about all those here who say they had textbook childhoods? Two nice parents? Ordinary siblings? Why would they question their identities?? Or did I just start yet another thread?! Lol

[KaceyR]

On the above.. I actually did a long writeup for the other thread...but so much had already been covered I didn't post. I still saved it for myself as I do when thinking about and analyzing my own influences. it's kind of similar to what you posted.
Here's what I typed for that section...

...
maybe you didn't grow up with a dad in the family and you just learned stuff from the mother more.
Or maybe you had a dad that was bad or imprinted such a bad influence (say abuse, yelling at mom, somesuch) that you end up desiring not to want to be like him whatsoever and you learn from mom instead. Some of these could also be a bit of escape mechanism..to escape from whatever the strife was.
- - -
I will say here, that a lot of the above is in a way me also thinking out my own younger influences.
From ~2-3YO I had a "dad" that all I can remember as a baby was a couple of experiences of him just yelling and arguing with mom. (ultimately he ran out on her). I got a new stepdad at ~5 but he wasn't one to "participate" as much in my life.
I physically grew up smaller, could not really do sports (strength, small hand + structure), which led me off to doing imagination games + doing recess with girls more.
Later I think mom pushed the stepdad to put me in a couple sports to "bond" which didn't work so well.
Basically I grew up looking up to and learning from mom more than anyone else.
What "Maleness" actually came more from my grandfather. (and unfortunately I think my male pattern baldness too :) )
...

Now that was what I ran into for my youth.

As far as the original post's question.. I think it can have a sexual component. My activity briefly started as a rarely done fetish with lingerie (real rarish.. maybe 7-8 times playing with it over a decade or 2 in my 20's-30's). Even my main outfit I really started CDing with (near last halloween-maid) was done with a bit of festishness. But as I have CDed more it isn't so much that. But I do play around a bit at times. (I'm solo, no GF no wife so it's just my own fun). I've got mini sport shorts (yeah at 48 I'm too old for that but hey, I have to make up for lost time), I've got a couple corsets/bustier's that I have.. and garter/stockings. If I'm in the mood that's just something I play around in.
But all that's more or less just an addition to my general CD side now.

Anyways...just decided to post as my own early parental influences might be slightly similar.

[linda lynn]

I understand everything your saying and agree. I was always drawn to womens clothes, at an early age I like wearing them and did not know why. I am now in my sixties and love it even more. I feel so calm wearing panties ( I hide them well) and even sleep in them sometimes and my wife never knows, she would flip if she knew. I feel so sexy at times, depending on what I am wearing.

[linda lynn]

I have swings but while appearing to fit in with males I like being with and talking to women, I have good conversations with females. I watch what they wear and how they match things up and then go home and its a sexual thing and so good. Overall I would rather be on the feminine side its much more fun now.

[jeniinnylons]

For me yes very much so

[Nadine Spirit]

My wife and I were discussing this very question the other morning and she pointed out something that had not occurred to me. I said to her, well of course my cross dressing started off as sexual. And she reminded me that being as I cross dressed before I even had a concept of sexual pleasure (say before 8-10 years old) that she completely disagreed with me.

Which made me think why exactly do I associate my beginnings with sexual pleasure? I think it is because I was never told that cross dressing was weird until I began to get close to puberty and the age of sexual awakening. But once I reached that age, I justified my actions by dismissing them as being only sexual. And I think many people do that. For some reason, we as humans tend to be a bit more lenient towards things that bring sexual pleasure. Because we can't control that. What excites us, excites us, and it is not as if we chose for it to be exciting for us, it just is.

Most men think cross dressing is weird and thus it makes us weirdo. Well so is sniffing feet. But if that is what "gets you off" then it is okay, or at least more okay. So by associating cross dressing with a sexual quirk, or fetish, then it becomes somehow more understandable.

I know this is what I did for years. "Oh honey,it is just a sexual thing for me." I said many times to my wife. So no wonder she was pretty confused when I decided to go out into public. If it is only sexual then why go into public? Was I wanting to have sex with the public or try and find someone other than my wife? Yeah, no, I was separating the sex from the cross dressing and discovering hey wait a moment this was hear before I was ever capable of having sex or as WAH puts it, to even be able to associate it with an "O."

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Donna, At one time it was no a days it is just relaxing.

[Jaymees22]

Hi, Yes, I've noticed the same physical traits you've noticed once I hit my 60s. When I was young it was a big turn on, but now not so much. Yet I will admit to sometimes having a happy ending, or a happy beginning, or a happy middle to my dressing sessions. Hugs Jaymee

[JessicaJJ]

Sexually it does nothing for me, i think thats because ive been dressing from a very young age so to me its just a way of life and the norm, though i can understand how you could get sexually atached to crossdressing becuase you do feel different in girls clothes to mans

[Angie G]

If the need to feel right when dress in a skirt or dress is a sexual thing. I never felt so. I just love to dress and feel pretty if only in my eyes.:hugs:
Angie

[Wildaboutheels]

Of course not as long as one does it in granny dresses and flats...

Which is WHY you find sooooooooooo many examples of both items in the P&V gallery...

[newbiecdmd]

I am new to this, and I thought for the longest time this was purely sexual for me. I just bought my first dress, tried it on, and I felt a surge through my whole body - but it was not sexual! (At least I don't think it was, I am still figuring this out!) I cannot describe the feeling - it was like my skin or body was generating electriciy. Anyone else get this feeling the first time? I hope it does not go away!

[Shara]

The only other time, beside today, I wore a dress to surprise my wife and it had a sexual affect on me. That was until my wife freaked out on me and I have not tried it again until today. Not sexual for me now, just like the feel of the clothes and how it makes me feel (again not in a sexual way).

[He_wears_hers]

For me, it's partly sexual and partly the feeling of being wrapped up in silky things. Man I love that feeling! Usually when I dress up, I end up pleasuring myself. So, does that make it a sexual thing for me? ;)

[Michelle V]

Same as most it was a very sexual in my teenage years and diminished as I grew older. I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy dressing up and trying to get frisky with my wife, not that she goes for it but I try. Now it is more a very helpful therapy that allows me to find myself.

[samantha rogers]

Alright ...I tried...and I mean I really tried to avoid commenting on this thread...sigh...warning...the following should probably more rightly go to a diary or therapist...LOL
Years ago, I would have said yes, and with the certainty of youth on my side. Lol
Now, although I cannot deny sex was a factor, I have concluded it a was not the cause but rather a by product. Dressing released chemicals in my brain that made me feel good and happy and, most important, closer to the female inside of me. The upshot of all this chemical and emotional happiness produced feelings of sexuality.
I have thought carefully of late about what always turned me on with a lover. It was seldom just drooling lust over a particularly lusty feminine form, if it ever was at all. Rather, my arousal was always tied to the certainty of being wanted, sexually, emotionally or both. Make of that what you will. The feeling was so good when present that it lead to sexual arousal as a by product. On the other hand, even an amazingly sexy woman, totally available but totally disinterested, left me cold.
So my conclusion is that at least a part of what I sought in dressing then was related to seeking out the feeling of being wanted, which was intimately related to proximity to the female within me. Finding that woman within lead to the euphoria which lead to arousal. A byproduct.
But now, since my libido is shot from various unmentionables ingested to grow my lovely little breasts, the sex portion is gone, but the euphoria remains. This tells me my theory is probably correct.
So, yes, connected, but, no, not causal. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Same time next week, Doc?

[ClaraKay]

My crossdressing didn't really begin in earnest until I discovered my female gender identity. The dysphoria that I felt before the discovery was a mixture of guilt, shame, anxiety, and all the resolve I could muster to put an end to what I saw as self-destructive, marriage-destructive behaviors that ultimately I could not seem to shake. When I finally did overcome these scourges on my well being by quelling the fires within chemically, I found that my desire to crossdress changed. It began, not a turn-on , but an important means to express my feminine side like nothing else could. With the acceptance and support of my DW, crossdressing is now an enjoyable, guilt-free, pass time that really has very little to do with sexual arousal. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I attribute sex-based crossdressing as simply one of many different sexual fetishes that are driven by normal to high male testosterone levels. Change the hormonal balance (T/E) in the body and everything you thought about your sexuality gets called into question.

[Rita M.]

For me at this time it is just purely sexual. I don't know how it will be in the future though. I do now a days sleep dressed.

I too have to say it's sexual. But as I get older the urges are more often and harder to control. Also the need to hide seems to go away as I get older.

[suchacutie]

Well, transforming to Tina is an exciting time. At age 55, starting to explore a new gender, and doing it openly, and with a supportive spouse, is a bit of a different scenario than that presented by most in this thread. I wasn't looking for another sexual outlet so that notion was never a part of the discussion, and my wife is not interested in Tina in a sexual way.

But....no one can deny that those first encounters with feminine everything puts them on sensory overload. So the initial experience has to be sensual, regardless. After Tina had experienced these sensations for a while they became a part of her transition experience, helping to shed the male mental and physical image and acclimating to Tina's mental and physical image. My male self enjoys viewing the feminine image, and linking that mental image to the sensory inputs during the ritual of transformation is beneficial to Tina in the temporary sequestering of our masculine self.

[kymmieLorain]

Donna,
I am about the same as you. It started as a sexual thing but changed to a just wearing it is enjoyable. I guess that it still is sexual to a point.

Kymmie

[Monique53]

I, as I'm sure some others have, actually saw women wearing undergarments in catalogues such as Sears, JC Penneys, Montgomery Wards, and other such publications for the first( excepting my mother) time. I was absolutely fascinated by all the different garments that just didn't exist in a boys life. That along with the fact that I was able to see a real attractive woman wearing all these things naturally peaked my sexual feelings as I was in the throes of puberty and raging hormones. Somehow, I became obsessed with seeing all the bras, girdes, garters attached to stockings, and all the other garb women wore. It was an easy jump to imagine how the clothing must feel and eventually find a way to experience this for myself. Of course once that happened, it was such a pleasurable experience, I did it again and again even though after each "session", I was ashamed of myself and would put everything away for a while until I did it again. In today's world, I still get some sexual satisfaction, from the clothes,but, it's nothing compared to when I was a young teenager. The women back then also had to wear much more formal type clothing, which, in my opinion, was much sexier than what most wear today!

Monique

[wanda66]

Yes . At first and sometimes still is , but it has gone beond sex

[Debutante]

I feel at 63, it is more a gender ID thing, less sexual... those sexual feelings come up a bit still..........

[Camilla]

Well, an interesting question...for me has halways been the same, since the first time when I was 12 till now.
Something made by many components, first for me the pleasure and satisfaction to play the femme role, choose dresses, shoes accessories and be beautyful the best I can. Is something special for me, when I crossdress I am Camilla and act normally as the woman I am. I like to take care of my aspect, removing hair from my legs, polishing my toenails trying to please me in every way, I adore to do all this things and feel good while doing. This is why I love to crossdress and need to do it.
So can happen to be sexually excited too while beiing Camilla, why not there' nothing strange, sex is one of the many components I told before, the fetish component was more present when I was in my teen age, at that time just wearing high heels get me excited, now is different but not for testosterone level, my mind has changed.
I appreciate the joy to be and dress like a woman, because when I am Camilla I am a woman playing a normal life, reading, stay at the computer, playing, doing homework and so on.
If I am sexually excited is ok, I just act this way and follow my feelings...simply...
The gender thing is the first for me now, I love to dress like a woman, be and act like Camilla.
I just love it !! This is what I know.

Hugs x

Camilla

[tightsplease1986]

Well I think for me it is more a sexual thing because, as a heterosexual male, I have had a fetish for women in pantyhose/tights and skirts for a while. I guess I just wanted to know what wearing tights actually felt like and now I have them well...I am hooked. Nothing compares to the feel of them on your legs, the happy feeling it gives me to wear them. I see it as therapy for my mind too as I do have my personal issues but this takes my mind off them very well :)

Best wishes

tightsplease

[Deanna Austin]

Like several have already stated, it was more of a sexual thing when I was younger. Now I just enjoy the escape from the normal expectations of the world.

I have to say tho sex has become more a part of the dressing again now that my wife is on board and supportive. I don't think it is as much because of the dressing but rather than the closeness we are sharing as a result of it.

[franlee]

Yes . At first and sometimes still is , but it has gone beond sexI believe this sums it up for CDers such as myself, that are just a CDer and not transgendered or transsexual. But some of the latter may have started to find themselves the same in the beginning.

[Aleca]

It took over 30 years to figure it out but counseling cleared things up for me that CDing has been a sexual addiction for me. Especially with it starting at puberty, the lack of acceptance I have for myself when dressed in public and not feeling any kind of feminine characteristics. For anyone though it can be different, it's all in the way that you use it and it being sexual is not a bad thing unless it's keeping one from accomplishing necessary daily activities or if it causes high blood pressure and too many heart palpitations.

[Saikotsu]

For me its not. I've never gotten that charge from dressing. While I will admit to getting excited over the prospect of new clothes, its not really a sexual excitement. I dress because it feels "right". When I'm dressed, I just feel...normal really. When I dress as a dude, I don't feel wrong though. It definitely feels different and I feel as if I'm seeing through different eyes. Dressing is a way for me to get in touch with both sides of myself.

[Lacey New]

Not sure that my thoughts or experiences are much different or any more enlightening beyond what has already been expressed here. But yes, for me, my beginning crossdresing was all about the rush and the gratification. So, I guess, like Pavlov's dog - instead of salivating when the bell rang, I would get excited at the thought and act of wearing lingerie. And, after awhile, "some" became more and more and more. Oddly, even though I have pursued "more" and have had at one time had a large collection of varying lingerie and even a skirt and several blouses, I have never gone "all the way" with wig, forms, make-up, accessories, wig, etc. So now my occasional underdressing does not have the same thrill that it used to have, I am still curious and excited (sexually? I'm not sure) to see just how feminine I can become. So, even though I have been partially dresing for many years, I stil look forward to some new experiences.

[Bobbielikes]

For me yes and no. It's definitely part of the allure but mostly it's about being desired and attractive to someone. I feel I'm a below average to average looking guy. As a girl I think I'm below average for sure, but a lot guys don't care they just know I'm gonna put out when I'm dressed so it feels like I'm marylin monroe. As a guy even in a gay bar I just don't feel wanted...

[vallerie lacy]

There are days when I just want to feel that "hug" from a bra and that lovely soft caress from my nylon panties. Than there are the days when I seem to need to feel and see a pair of stockings and thrill of a pair of heels. And than there are days when I must also have, and they are my favorites, the feel of a petticoat or two brushing against my stocking covered legs. No matter whether I am wearing jewelry or makeup, or just lingerie, I always find it to be sexy. And like the young Lady said, some days have a happy ending and some don't.

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Donna...

I have grappled with similar thoughts many times and have settled somewhere in between (I think.) I suspect that the crux of my quandary is much like the chicken or the egg introduction.

My penchant for dressing was first awakened around age 7 and I became sexually aware around age 10. In later years oftentimes I would ask myself if I would have been sexually charged as I was even if female attire was not a part of my life. It would seem obvious that I cannot answer that with 100% certainty but I suspect that I would have been sexually intrigued without the dressing but that the dressing may have enhanced the libido's drive just as well. It would seem fair to state that many women who wear such lovely clothes also enjoy sexual relations while wearing them so there is some normalcy in correlating sexual drive and what one wears (but not always, of course.)

While a sexual climax may have been the culmination of most dressing sessions in my teens and 20's it was not always the goal. Wearing such attire has been very comforting and relaxing even if not with any simultaneously involved sexual activity. Today, in my 40's, I still enjoy a healthy sexual life with my wife but also, on occasion, experience it when dressed, albeit, usually alone. It is not the goal but something that comes together once in a while.

My dressing is more like a hobby for myself rather than a sexual experience but sex is a normal part of life. The two - and other factors - intermingle quite nicely :)


Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

[sometimes_miss]

This is another intriguing post. As the mother of young children, I'm well aware that gender realisation isn't until about age 6. Meaning, until that age, children believe they can be either/or/both/nothing.
We still don't know when it happens, or even if it's limited to a certain age. Like many other things, many people develop at different rates, both psychologically and/or physically. So even if one child understands the concepts of gender at oh, age three, another might not get it until eight or nine. I learned that social scientists, like scientists in the physical sciences, try to pin down EVERYTHING to one, exact cause at one exact moment/age in a person's life. And that's why there's so much inaccuracy, because people are different, we don't all develop at the same times, or the same rates.


Currently, my son thinks he can be a Ninja Turtle. He's very serious about this :) What I'm wondering is whether you mean a child before this age can get derailed from his/her path somehow and by age 6, they've somehow connected with the wrong gender? Or a Ninja Turtle?!
As above, sure, a child can come to believe that they are truly the opposite gender from their physical sex. But I've seen a lot of evidence that in the search to accept and treat these tg kids, perhaps the psychological community ignores influences that are obvious to others, just not considered because of current beliefs about gender identity development.

My H would be a pretty classic case of this derailment as his father was a pr**k and didn't care about him at all. His mother over compensated for this by doing the role of both parents, and his sister, being the brighter, prettier one, was just revered. I don't think my H had a very good male role model anywhere in his life, and women, in his mind and to this day, are just better.
All this can, of course, influence a child's belief system about their gender. But what's also interesting, is that while some of us wind up questioning our gender identity, other kids go through the same experiences but don't go through the gender dysphoria thing.

But while this theory works for my H, what about all those here who say they had textbook childhoods? Two nice parents? Ordinary siblings? Why would they question their identities?? Or did I just start yet another thread?! Lol
Each of us has different experiences that influence whether we question our gender identity. And, it doesn't take much. For some kids, all it takes is the perceived belief that a parent might have preferred us to have been born the opposite sex (and that belief may not be demonstrated or obvious on the child's surface). So to make them happy, we assume the sexual gender identity that we believe they want. Like any other kids, we don't give complicated answers about why we feel that way, so it's easy for most adults to just assume that it's our natural personality, that we are transgendered from birth, because they simply don't know any better. Or consider a boy who's lousy at sports, and does not socialize with other boys because of that; he may feel that maybe something's different about himself, perhaps he's more like the girls in some way. Thats all it takes, the inate desire for a child to be accepted, to spur on the development of false beliefs to incredible lengths, and along the way, avoiding any evidence that those beliefs might be questionable, all because that child wants to be accepted above anything else.

[Taylor Ray]

Women have a variety of clothes to choose from, and yes, many of the outfits are designed to be "sexy" and attract mates. I would guess that if you asked some women if "wearing clothes" was sexual, they would say "sometimes".

[Kristia]

Both men or women can get a rush for almost any reason whatsoever. It depends on the person.

[coningsby131]

Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

I hope that the following paragraph goes some way to answering your question;
When I was very young(a shorts wearer)my Mother was also my Barber in the 1960`s. She would instruct me to sit on her stool in order to cut my hair. She frequently wore a black pleated cotton skirt which tickled my knees while she was cutting my fringe. I now apparently have the image of her skirt deeply in my eyes. It was 1st noticed by my(secondary) school teacher in the 1970`s & by subsequent girlfriends who have also mentioned it. The presence of the image has strongly influenced my desire to cross dress & I regularly wear one of my ultra comfortable, arousing & very swishy pleated or circle skirts at home. All of my images can be viewed at https.clubcrossdressers/stockings/coningsby131.htmi.

[AlanaG]

All of my images can be viewed at https.clubcrossdressers/stockings/coningsby131.htmi.

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[~leanne~]

Everyone is different, there is no real sexual element in it for me, maybe a little when I was younger but certainly not now, I think that was one of the points I pushed to my SO when I came clean to her, I don't think she could have accepted it if it were a sexual fetish, though for some I'm sure it is.