How open are you?

[FelicityMay]

I just wanted to know what level of self consciousness everyone is at as far as going out.

-do you keep it 100% private and secret?
-do you have a few people that know, but still try to keep it pretty hidden?
-do you sometimes get to go out dressed if the occasion is right?
-or are you completely open and just dress in whatever without a care in the world?

right now, I would say I'm at the second one right now. Plenty of people know I do it, I don't really know the feedback, but I typically only end up dressed at nights, sometimes walking around the neighborhood. Although, I would really love to work my way up to the last one, where I feel comfortable just wearing whatever I feel like every day out in public, I just haven't seemed to get my nerves calmed.

I don't even ever try to pass with hair or face changes, I mostly just like to wear the clothes...

[kimmy p]

Technically a few choice people know. Realistically, if my friends have not figured it out they are stupid. And my friends are not stupid.

[GenderCurious Andrea]

Hi, FelicityMay

I don't get out much at all. The only two people out side of this forum that know that I dress are my wife and brother, but I'm ok with that. My life is not very flexable so i don't get a whole lot of oppertunities to dress and experiment with styles and outings but I try to make the best of what time I do have. This is my first time back on the forum in almost four months. But it's nice to be back it is like a vacation from the confines of social norms and prejudice.

One of these days I'll see the world through Andrea's eyes… if only for a brief moment.

[lynn.crossdresser]

I would say the second one for myself also. Mainly because it is not just about me, having a wife and children (although grown up) and living in a small town it just wouldn't be fair on them. My wife and a male friend know I dress and I suspect both my daughters have an idea also.

That said I am quite happy with life, not that a CD friend wouldn't be welcomed to share experiences with.

Lynn

[Tracii G]

A few select people know but I dress as a mix everyday even around the ones that don't know.
They may suspect but haven't said anything to me.

[Michelle51]

I wear what I want, wear and when I want to. I do nor try to pass either, I simply feel more complete dressed.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I'm out 3 or 4 days a week but don't fit into any of the categories. I'm completely open, dress in whatever I want and go pretty much wherever I want but I rely on the camouflage of dressing to maintain a degree of privacy. It wouldn't be the end of the world if recognised but better that I can keep my two lives separate.

[Katey888]

100% secret.

Except for the 5,500 active members and probably 20,000 lurkers on cd.com... ;)

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy, Felicity, but please be safe in what you do especially if you go out at night alone... :)

Katey x

[Donnagirl]

Only me, the wife and everyone on this forum....

Have only ventured out as far as the back yard, momentarily, at night, new moon, heavy cloud cover, all lights out, large overcoat, neighbours away and dressed in the darkest clothes I have.

The CD equivalent of black nomex and cam cream.... Kinda feel I'm letting the side down!!! :worried:

[natcrys]

I would describe my situation as something that feels like I'm 90% out. :)

Pretty much all of my friends know and some of my colleagues do too.

My siblings and a couple of cousin know as well.

HOWEVER, my parents don't know.. which sometimes feels like I'm in the closet! Not true of course, since I pretty much do whatever I like and go everywhere I like.

So, this does mean that I'm not out yet at work, because that would mean a very large number of people would suddenly know.. and then it's just a matter of time before my parents know.

[rian]

I can admit that definitely I'm 100% private ,,up to this moment ...only my wife knows ,,so I guess that is 50%

[Teresa]

Hi FelictyMay,
I would have to say second on the list, apart from a few mishaps like being seen by a commuter train while walking the dog wearing black skirt, black Tshirt and wellies !

[iGenny]

100% private and secret.

[Marcelle]

Hi FelicityMay,

I am out to quite a few friends, work colleagues and all my family. I go out when I feel the need to do so and I dress as I wish. I do however do the whole make-up and wig thing. I don't think the world is quite ready for Isha "au natural". :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[dana digs sweaters]

Out to family since a teenager. Have a couple GG friends thru the years.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Felicity, Only my wife knows but just tolerates it and doesn't want o see it.

[Jaclyn]

If a few is 2 then the second one for me. My wife has known now since January 2014 and now the lady at the wig shop I went to yesterday. She was very nice and help me pick out my very first wig.

And the Pink Fog keeps getting thicker.

[kimdl93]

Some of us worked our way from walks alone in the dark. Others, may have jumped into the deep end quickly, with a trip to a mall or a night out at a TG friendly bar. The first few times out, either way, are a little frightening.

Put a little more time and effort into you presentation. You may feel a bit more comfortable going out and interacting with people if you know you look your best.

[Athena_]

I would say that I am in the area between the first and second choice. My wife knows, and that is it. I am sure that anyone who has followed my on-line shopping habits (big brother?) could figure it out as well. With children in the house, I am not ready to share my secret just yet.

[bonni]

My wife and ten kids know and I dress in whatever I'm in the mood for doesn't matter who is around.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am somewhere between 2 and 3, My wife and Sister and best friend from College know because I had told them, but my sons and their fiancees know because they are not stupid. I don't go out totally as Jenny too often, maybe once a month or so, but I am always in some way in a point of transition in my dress.

Life has been a progression of living the life you feel comfortable living. Now that I have retired and many of the economic restraints are no longer an issue, I have been more open in my lifestyle. I also think that as one ages, the feelings or need to taking that leap you were always fearful of becomes easier, either because of less pressure or care of who might know, or because you feel like you just must before life has totally passed you by.

[Raychel]

For the most part, I stay at home, but everyone that would come to my house knows, except for my father.
So I am pretty free to dress whenever I am home

[samantha rogers]

My wife knows, and seems ok with it, but does not participate. I now have many friends I have met at Tg outings (in addition to all the wonderful girls here), plus some very close GFs from another site I visit...but in the vanilla world, where I spend most of my time, no one besides my wife knows. It would be bad for my kids, who still live at home. If I lived alone, I would be more open. But I have to be somewhat careful to protect my family.

[MeganHenry]

Between 2nd and 3rd for me...wish it was 4

[Nadine Spirit]

With my gender non conforming behavior I am 100% out. With my cross dressing I am out to my wife, sister, and several friends. But there are many people that I choose to not share my cding with.

So I don't know what number that puts me at, but whatever. :)

[Jamie Lynn]

98% private. Wife knows and I occasionally dress in her presence (sans wig and make-up darn-it :sad: ). And I recently told a co-worker that I had been to my wifes friends wedding in a dress during a discussion about a "dude in a miniskirt/jumper" that he'd just seen!........Ok......95%

Oh, and I've been out in the back yard, sunbathed in a bikini, hunted, and hiked while at least partially dressed.........Ok.......maybe 90%! :D

[Michala]

Wife knows a little but has no interest in knowing to what extent. Knows I like bras etc. and thinks thats a little strange. Other than her I'm 100% in the closet. Have been out in public a little bit but that was only when quite a ways from home where no one would recognize me.

[Taylor186]

I say only my wife knows both sides of me. My wife says more people know about my crossdressing than I think.

[joan47]

Some associates at work, my wife and by the way I went to my high school reunion enfemme. I wear what I want and whenI want. Always girls clothes, that is about all Ihave. Long arylic nails with light pink, waxed arched eyebrows, lip gloss, diamond necklace and gold braclet, ankle braclet, shaved all over. ear rings and always tight girls jean, leggings, jeggings, capris or yoga pants witha girls scooped t-shirt. I feel \feminine and don't care if people know i am a bit on the feminine side.

[Seana Summer]

For me its not a matter of self consciousness but a matter of practicality. It would make life and making a living very difficult if I were totally out in the open and everyone knew. Not to mention the impact on those around me. So for me its mostly the first, but really the second and occasionally the third. Depending on the environment around me.

I am at peace with my CDing and don't feel all that self conscious about it anymore. This is in large part because of my interactions with others on this board and others. However I do not live in a community that is accepting so I make practical decisions.

[Michellegryl]

My wife and two of my children see me regularly as Michelle, I am out at least once a week and dress as I like. My wife goes out with me occasionally and is very supportive of who I am. I have several friends who know and see me regularly. I go out when I want day or night. I would say I am somewhere between 3 & 4 on your scale

[Connie.Marie]

Hi Felicity,
I'm between 2 & 3.
My wife knows but is hostile toward this so I keep it under wraps. My Mom probably has guessed. No one at work, my children don't know (I hope)...
Other than that, it's only other gurls like us. Now that circle of friends has grown a lot over the past 2 years. Been out on the town many times with 12 - 18 other ladies but only to safe places over the years. I guess the most "out" was to the Southern Comfort Conference last Sept in Atlanta for 1 night. A few gg's have helped me over the years, Brenda, Hope & Mary.

So I guess I have almost 2 separate lives & that's the way I want it.

Hugs, Connie Marie

[Michelle V]

Only few selected people know, very closeted, I too try to protect my kids form knowing just because as pointed by Jennifer (Jennifer at home) kids do talk and growing up with a CD father at a young age will make them a target at school. They do see me walking around with my toes and fingers painted but never question me (my daughter did my toes in bright red recently) I blows living in a society that questions our lifestyle.

[Laura28]

I would say two for me, My wife knows and is fine with me dressing. A friend also knows and is fine with it, other then on here no one else knows nor do i want them to.

[Beverley Sims]

Ah! well,
Katey has blown my cover......

I live in the pink fog and think no one knows....

I venture out regularly, on the right occasion.

On holidays I am more open.

[StacyLynn]

Nobody knows that I CD and I'm okay with that for the most part. I like being both a man and a woman, depending on my mood, so it's easier that way. I wouldn't mind a GG friend or two to confide in though. And to have shopping / makeover friends :o

[Mistyjo]

For me i would have to say no. 3 get dressed and go out if the occasion is right

[cindybabe]

Only my wife and she is ok about this. i wouldn't want my children to know and we both have to be very careful
Haven.t told any of my friends and wouldn,t want to.
Like my beer, sports, motorbikes too much, but i do like dressing and having my femine side as well.

[Emily43]

me...my SO and 2 GG's (friends)

[Adriana Moretti]

some friends know maybe 5 or 6 (all girls) .... family dosent....there is no need to tell them oh wait ...my sister knows....so maybe mom does too ....i get out when i can in public to social events around the metro area

[CarlaWestin]

Like many here, I fall into category 2. I guess the question is how many people can associate you (male name and persona) with her (female name and/or persona). I've often pondered the fact that I've presented Carla more to strangers than anyone else.

[Dianne S]

I am 3 heading to 4. My wife knows, as do my mother and my sisters. One of my daughters knows and we plan on telling the other two soon. That's because my long-term goal is to transition and go 24/7, so eventually the whole world will know.

[Tina G]

Not sure exactly where i'm at just yet, I have been letting all my friends know about this side of me. My sister now knows, my nephew does as well and so far everyone who knows has been overly supportive, including the wives of my friends. For the most part i'm done hiding and dealing with that anxiety and depression except for going out. I have to be selective here in Nebraska, people are more aggressive and my friends have even expressed worry that i may get hurt if i'm not careful. So we're working on a fun night out up where my friends live in the Omaha area where there are more friendly bars. ok done rambling.. you pick my number :)

[Michaelasfun]

Hi Felicity,


I think I am at number 3 on your list. I have set aside "Michaela days" where I use vacation time from work so I can go out to malls and such when nobody is home at my house and I have freedom to dress and go out and have fun. This Tuesday is my next one, I usually take one day off a month to just be me.



(BTW in my opinion you are quite passable!)

[NathalieX66]

To the OP:

1. No.....I am out. I was willing to deal with the fallout or consequences of being out.
2. Everyone knows, except the people at where I work.....but even they are catching on. Sure, I look girly, but I haven't showed up at work wearing a skirt. I have a mortgage and a pension to worry about.
3. I like to go out as often as possible. I want people to know my girly side. The reaction in public has been great so far.
4. Yes, I dress as a woman. However I keep my kinky stuff at home, in private.

[carhill2mn]

Even though I am en femme about 90% of the time I am not "out" to friends of my male self with a few exceptions. My daughters and husbands "know" but have never seen
Carole or photos.

[reb.femme]

Hi FelicityMay,

I'm between 2 and 3. I'm out to my wife, sons and their partners, but that's it. I belong to our local trans group, so I do get to go out dressed but not without a care in the world. Went wig and forms shopping at a trans friendly store in the London area too, but would like to get out away from home for a T friendly night sometime soon.

Rebecca

[KaceyR]

Like Nathalie I'm about the same nowadays. It's down to only 1 or 2 friends that don't know and coworkers. I'm sure some have wondered there. Without protections from job loss... Unsure when I'd outright tell them.


Others, may have jumped into the deep end quickly,
....
Put a little more time and effort into you presentation. You may feel a bit more comfortable going out and interacting with people if you know you look your best.

This applied to me. From just starting to CD 5-6 months ago to going out often dressed and with 95% of friends and family knowing. Got a big boost due to getting a makeover my first day out.. Which thanks to looking so well it was easier to keep on going with the day (more shopping,salon,friends,restaurant). It's been rougher since due to lower makeup skills than the artist at MAC, but I keep plugging away at it. Low nightclub lighting does wonders for my makeup skills :)
Haven't soloed to bars yet.. But I may go to a regular bar/steakhouse trivia night this Tuesday.

[Billie Jean]

I'm a little number 2 and 3. When I go out its somewhere I most likely won't see amyone I know. Billie Jean

[Jessika]

Yep im definately #2 on that list. Im thinking about going out with a group of CDs though. I know the city that I am moving to has a group of people that go out and party it up.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I say only my wife knows both sides of me. My wife says more people know my crossdressing than I think.

My wife says the same thing Taylor.

[Claire Cook]

I'm somewhere between 3 and 4. I'm out to let's see, lots of people including some friends at work and have had no negative repercussions (no, I have no plans to dress at work), and I go out pretty much when I can. Strange thing is that aside from my wife (no kids), I'm not out to family ... but I think that's gonna happen....

[Ressie]

Not very open, but I've told every woman I've had a serious relationship for nearly 40 years. I decided back then that it wasn't mentally healthy to keep CDing a total secret. That's what's great about this forum. It allows us to share with others without freaking out family, friends and coworkers. The more open we can be the better, but there are consequences involved that aren't worth the risk for some of us (like me).

[Tami Monroe]

Right now, there are a select few people who know. Otherwise, I keep a low profile, and try to remain as secret as possible.

[Eryn]

As far as going out en femme, only my family knows and I don't go out in my own community.

Outside of my community, I really don't limit my exposure to the world. I spend far more time en femme than I do in drab when outside my no-fly zone.

[marsha leanne]

a mix of 1 and 2. the wife is aware, but we are dadt. no one else, oh wait, the dog, yeh, she knows.

[SometimesDiana]

I treat most people on a need to know basis. My gf knows as well as a few close friends. If I'd like to involve (shopping, dancing, etc.) someone then I will tell them. If I don't plan to involve them then I don't tell them.

[Ellaxo]

I keep this hidden from my close friends and family. I'm not even out to my friends as gay yet.
I don't think they'd be ready to accept me as a cross dresser yet, and honestly I don't want to tell them. The only person that knows is the guy I'm sort of seeing. I knew he was into cross dressers and I dress up for him, but that's about it. He keeps it well hidden.

[ChristinaK]

Wouldn't it be nice to confide in someone. To have someone to pal around with that is not freaked out. Someone that accepts my weird self. My wife is the only one who knows and she is definitely DADT. Too bad.

[Christina Sevilla]

No one else knows that i crossdress. I stay at home with my mom and stepdad so i always make it a point to crossdress when their out and at night in my room. I always wear panties though. I know i'm a TS and would like to be on hrt and will go to a therapist someday. I tried coming out to my mom many years ago but she was not accepting about the situation which was quite hard. Planning on moving out so i may start transitioning but could not do so since iv'e been out of work for more than a month now.

[AKADonna]

I'm between #2 and #3. My wife knows, but is not supportive. The only places I've dressed fully are while having makeovers at Phoebe Cross's transformation service in Atlanta, where I go for a session when my feminine urges become unbearable and at the Sigma Epsilon CD support group, also in Atlanta, where i went fully dressed to their meeting last month. Other than that, I underdress every weekday while my wife is at work. I don't have any other person locally that I can trust well enough to come out, while I would love to have another CD or a GG with whom I could shop or have coffee.

I've learned to deal with what's available for me and I enjoy my feminine side whenever and wherever possible! I hope that you can/will, too!

Donna Sue

[steffigirl37]

Private. The only person who has seen me dressed is my wife. Family members may suspect and 1 or 2 former coworkers may have seen me shopping in the woman's department but at this point in my life I really don't care.

[noeleena]

Hi,

The book was open 21 years ago nothing is hidden even about family is open and about Jos and i . you cant get more open than Nation wide, interviews and write up's. plus being invited to talk at large meetings. not including the many other 1000's of people iv contacted.

An open book that remains open,

Oh....The book.... was only open one page in the 60's .

...noeleena...

[Butterfly Bill]

If you are making a list to make a pie chart or something out of, put a 4 by my name.

[Farrah]

I am 100% secret/private. My wife is the only person that knows. As far as going out, I've been out once, but it was a disaster (that's for another post). However, my wife and I are planning an outing when the time and look is right.

[Holly]

Let's see... today I visited a friend who is currently in a physical rehabilation facility, went to my doctor to get a B12 shot, got the car washed, went to the post office, and bought groceries. All as me. I pretty much am out. :)

[CynthiaD]

I'm mostly a 4, except for work and church. In male mode I always underdress, often with a bra and chicken cutlets. I used to do a lot of half and half, male mode with lots of distinctively feminine stuff, but lately it's mostly 100% en femme. I go out frequently, but only during the day. I have never felt that going out alone at night was a good idea.

[krissygurl]

I'm a number 1. I'm 100% private, but I have now gone out in some very cute deffinately girly jeans and a nice not too girly, but femme top but as my male self. Working up too a full night out. I would be more then happy with ending up as a number 2 but number 3 would be perfect :)

[NatalieBliss]

The third option I think. I have gone out, the typical drag nights, but I have also gone clothes and gorcery shopping and also sat in a cafe with some other CDs. As for being out non-dressers I know in real life that I have told are my sisters, a few friends and two ex-girlfriends.

[DDee]

99.9 % Private . But would love to get that number lower. :)

[Suzanne F]

I go out quite a bit dressed. Many people know but not all. In a year I plan to be out 100 per cent!
Suzanne

[Ashley Lyn]

I guess I'd be #2, tho' those who know, found out by accident, except for the SO.. Step-daughter walked in on me while in the kitchen..
Wife was napping on the couch.. I'm sure the step-daughter told the other one, and their brothers, etc.... SO is supportive..
I don't really blend in well enfemme, so I'm pretty much still closet tho' I do drive and go out after dark 'dressed'..
I still enjoy being able to think; "what if they all knew"? Would be easier, but the mystery would be gone..

[johnboy23]

I would say I'm pretty open to it and quite a few people know about it. I go out every chance I can but I rarely go out by myself for security reasons.

[Victoria P]

I sometimes go out dressed if the night is nice outside but mostly with my girlfriend because I don't know any live t-girls close by but I sure would like to.

We have met some strangers on Halloween in coffee shops and bars etc and often strike up a bit of conversation.

Its nice when they think we;re both pretty,and we sometimes have a laugh :)

So I'm out to some people about it but not my immediate family.

[Beth Wilde]

Out to most people except my mum (who may suspect) and my sister (likewise)..... Even went to my bosses housewarming party dressed and she and all my colleagues were fine!

[Amy Fakley]

100% private, except for this forum, and of course the NSA.
Between them, Google and Amazon, I'm fairly certain I must be on "a list" somewhere, LOL.

[WhisperTV]

100% private and secret.

I don't want my CDing to somehow interfere with my daughter's life. That, plus I just have no real desire to prove to the world I can go to WalMart dressed as a woman.

[ShelbyDawn]

I would be between a 2 and a 3. I under dress every day and, thanks to my ex wife, have been outed to more people than I know.
I have been out fully dressed twice and for the most part just hang out at home.
I am pretty happy with the arraignment right now will probably get another makeover and do a night out this fall. Long term plans are to make Southern Comfort one year and spend the whole time as Shelby.

[AnneC]

I have never been out in public, perhaps because I don't think I could pass. Have managed to take a few photos outside, but nothing more daring than that.

[femaletrouble]

ive kept it a seceret for 30 odd years ...but i think my mam knows i was carless in the early years i was about 15yrs old an ad a loverly pairs a silk french knickers it a powder pink, i ad only ad the a short while a one day when i wanted to try them on i looked high an low for them them! just could not find them anywhere so the only explanation is my mam must have found them an confiskated them..she never mentioned it it an i was not going to ask if she ad throwed them out,

[StephanyT]

I've kept it secret for the past 40 some years, through 3 marriages..on my third and 20 years strong. I only CD occasionally through the years so it was easy to hide...but lately my desire to CD more often has made it harder to stay 100% hidden. I'm want to tell my wife but just have not got the courage yet to come out.

I do think she suspects as the other day she indicated I act more female than male...go figure:heehee:

It's one day at a time until I get the courage to tell her it will stay 100%.



StephanyT:battingeyelashes:

[Renee Elise]

Somewhere between 1 and 2 - just a few forums. Just not feeling a strong desire to be out in public...though I would love to go for a drive all dressed up at some point :).

[aussie24tg]

Well I'm TG/Intersex.. So I'm fully out.. Have been for 10 years.
I think most my old school knows though I didn't go to my high school 10 year anniversary cause I didn't like anyone (plus I went to a private christian school)

[Butterfly Bill]

Totally out to everyone I know since 1994.