my wife wants to know more

[tiffa]

;) hi girls my sweet wife is very intrested in learning more about my crossdressing :) and all thats assosiated with it +? is what direction can i point her in and is there any thing she can read on the subject,for we have talked a lot but i still feel that she doesent fully understand how a cd-tv feels and why we do.any help would be great.lots tiffa:thumbsup:

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Tiffa

Lots of good advice and help here, have her join the GG Forum and tell her to not be shy. My wife found a ton of information on the internet, that's how I found this place. Have her google "transgender" or "crossdressing". Lots of books out there, "My Husband Betty" helped my wife a lot, Peggy Rudd has a good one, do a search on Amazon, there are others.

You're very lucky to have a partner who is interested in learning about you, she must be a special lady. Go buy her some flowers and tell her that you love her, you can never say that enough.

GypsyKaren

[Phillis]

;) hi girls my sweet wife is very intrested in learning more about my crossdressing :) and all thats assosiated with it +? is what direction can i point her in and is there any thing she can read on the subject,for we have talked a lot but i still feel that she doesent fully understand how a cd-tv feels and why we do.any help would be great.lots tiffa:thumbsup:

There a couple of books by Peggy J.Rudd,Ed.D named: My husband wears my clothes and Crossdressing with Dignity. Also a book by JoAnn Roberts,PhD, Coping with Cross Dressing. These books can be obtained from Amazon.com at a very low price. Wish you the best with this.

[tiffa]

helo thanks girls both gypsy karen and phillis,i will pass on your advice.big hugs for help tiffa

[danielle_bc]

helo thanks girls both gypsy karen and phillis,i will pass on your advice.big hugs for help tiffa
there is an incredible amount of information regarding transgendering and spouses. Use your search engine and start typing. You'll be amazed just how much there is and free too. Surf the web together; could be fun. Good Luck.

[AprilMae]

Ever since my S/O dragged me out of the closet the other night we haven't had much time to discuss it so it gave me time to do a little research. I gave her some links but she hates going online at home after working on a computer all day so she will ask me any questions. so far it's just been a little history and the assurance that my sexual orientation and preferences are still the same.I'm gonna take her out to dinner tomorrow and discuss it more, hopefully over a few pints.

[Marla GG]

Hi Tiffa,

It's great that your wife wants to know more. She sounds like a cool lady.

Here are a few of my favorite links......

http://www.ren.org/rbp01.html Myths and Misconceptions about Crossdressers (from The Renaissance Transgender Association)

http://www.ren.org/rbp02.html Reasons for Male to Female Crossdressing (from The Renaissance Transgender Association)

http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/sex/xdress.html (The Real Truth About Crossdressing)

http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/forwives.htm (For the Wives and Girlfriends of Crossdressers by Dixie Darling)

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Stonewall/8505/sg_wifeletter.html (Letter from one wife of a CD to another)

http://www.avitale.com/sotherlist.html (numerous articles on different topics by Julie Freeman, the wife of a CD)

http://members.fortunecity.com/melanie4/couple.htm (Boundaries and Reciprocity by Malanie Yarborough)

http://www.webdotgal.com/main/html/sohome.html (The TG Partners Page--many SOs describe how they learned about their partners’ dressing and how they feel about it in their own words)

http://gendertree.com/Helping%20Wives%20Of%20Cross%20Dresers.htm (Helping Wives of Crossdressers to Understand and Cope—written for wives)

[AprilMae]

Some great links. Maybe you could make them a sticky?

[Holly]

Tiffa, the resourses the others have given you are all excellent, BUT, only you know what drives your desire to crossdress. Talk to your wife. You're so fortunate she wants to be informed and knowledgable. Many gurls here would love to be in your situation. Make the most of it! :thumbsup:

[TGMarla]

Vedry cool that your wife wants to know more. Be open and honest with her, and this could be a very great thing for you. Congratulations.

[Melanie R]

Hi Tiffa

Lots of good advice and help here, have her join the GG Forum and tell her to not be shy. My wife found a ton of information on the internet, that's how I found this place. Have her google "transgender" or "crossdressing". Lots of books out there, "My Husband Betty" helped my wife a lot, Peggy Rudd has a good one, do a search on Amazon, there are others.

You're very lucky to have a partner who is interested in learning about you, she must be a special lady. Go buy her some flowers and tell her that you love her, you can never say that enough.

GypsyKaren

I would like to mention that my wife, Dr. Peggy Rudd, in addition to her first book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, has three other books on tghe topic. In fact I reread her last book, Who's Really From Venus?, last week. I think that book is her best to date and helps me every time I read it.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Dragster]

Wow, have we got a celebrity on this site? Dr Peggy Rudd's SO! Should be great for lots of good advice! I'll read your posts with renewed interest in future because I need lots of advice to get my wife "on-side"! I guess the first advice will be to buy and read the books though!

Tony

[kittypw GG]

Tiffa,
Holly is so right. Some of the stuff I read about transgendered community scared me silly. I really only am interested in what is the driving force. If my husband wants to live full time as a women then I don't think that I can go there. We currently are in negotiation about how often, how much, etc so that we can come up with something livable. We both have to have a certain comfort level. The biggest problem with my husband is that he does not talk, he thinks that any question I ask is an attack on him personally becaues he does not have the answers. I say how do you find the answers if you don't talk? Talking helps you gain insight, insight helps you have confidence, confidence helps you dispell fear. Have her join the GG'S I always love to have a different perspective and it helps to talk to others. Good luck
Kitty.


Tiffa, the resourses the others have given you are all excellent, BUT, only you know what drives your desire to crossdress. Talk to your wife. You're so fortunate she wants to be informed and knowledgable. Many gurls here would love to be in your situation. Make the most of it! :thumbsup:

[paulaN]

you are very lucky to have such a wife. Mine just wants to bury her head in the sand so to speek. Just last night she made a comment about me always beeing on the computer "at that porno site or what ever you call it." her exact words. It realy hurt. And I need some girl time real bad right now. even befor that comment was made.

[Dixie Darling]

Tiffa,

There's a ton of down to earth information on my web site that she might find educational. It's clean and I would suggest that the two of you look at it together and discuss the material as you read it. That'll prompt some good dialog between the two of you.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Gwen]

Tiffa,
You said you wife wants to know about you. All these sites can tell you is about crossdressing. I have been around the Internet crossdressing scene for a long time now. It was a breakthrough for me when I first discovered other people like me. I have since learned that the only thing that crossdressers have in common is crossdressing. It is important that you remember this distinction when talking to your wife. I suggest reading the links referenced by Marla yourself and making sure you understand your wifes concerns. Then make sure you know why you crossdress because if you don't know then she won't be able to figure it out. I find it helpful to think of crossdressing as a matter of taste. You wouldn't think of telling your partner not to eat chocoate (or whatever her favorite food is). How long do you think it would be before she started eating it in secret? It is the same with us. The other part of this is that crossdressing might not be a good taste for her. If that is the case all is not lost. With patience and the right "presentation" it could become an "acquired" taste for her.

[Trudyjean]

Another good web page for help is aosoc.org for heterosexual crossdressers.

Trudyjean

[Bridget]

Tell her to join this forum as a GG and have her subscribe to the GG forum. This seems like the best way, since she can chat with other GGs in similar circumstances and learn from them all about crossdressing.

[Dana]

Tiffa,
Holly is so right. Some of the stuff I read about transgendered community scared me silly. I really only am interested in what is the driving force. If my husband wants to live full time as a women then I don't think that I can go there. We currently are in negotiation about how often, how much, etc so that we can come up with something livable. We both have to have a certain comfort level. The biggest problem with my husband is that he does not talk, he thinks that any question I ask is an attack on him personally becaues he does not have the answers. I say how do you find the answers if you don't talk? Talking helps you gain insight, insight helps you have confidence, confidence helps you dispell fear. Have her join the GG'S I always love to have a different perspective and it helps to talk to others. Good luckKitty.

I agree that if a guy want to get and feel "all girly" then he needs to get "girly" (within the negotiated limits that has been negotiated ~ like anything else in marriage ~ that they're comfortable with.)

Precisely what I'm discussing here can be summed up as presented by a comedian about the difference about how men and women communicate differently. Such as in disccussig a haircut:

Karen: I love you new haircut! Its the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Diane: Do you really think so? I wasn't sure when I first saw it. You don't think its too short?

Karen: Oh, no! It's absolutely perfect for you! I would love to get my hair to look like that, but my face is too fat so I'm stuck with this bird's nest.

Diane: Are you serious? You are a stcik figure and your hair is amazing!

Karen: Are you kidding me? If I'm a stick them you must be invisible! And, I've give my right eye to be half as pretty! But, thanks! I'm so glad that you like my hair cut.

Now here's how two guys would play out the same conversation:

John: Haircut?

Jeff: Yep!

Obviously, this is from a comedic point of view, but my point is this. Eskimo's have like twenty~something different words for describing the color WHITE. When you hear Africian Americans talks about shades of being black ~ they use such terms as "Red" "Yellow" "Mocha" among others to decribe the degree of pigmentation.

What I'm trying to get down to is communicate in depth and with emotion. Don't be like:

Her: So your a crossdresser?

Him: Yep!

The typical American male uses about two thousands words a day in conversation ~ while the typical American Woman uses 4000!!!!!!!! Twice as many.

So if your going to get "grily" converse like one ~ open up ~ be vulnerable ~ be open ~ be expressive ~ be communicative!

[ronda]

there is a book you can buy that is very good i bought it for my wife she to date has not red it yet but i did the title is MY HUSBAND WEARS MY CLOTHES. i bought it off the net. the book was wrighten by a doctor.

[Florence]

Like Tiffa's wife, I too share many of her same questions and concerns regarding my husband's feminine needs and exploration.

The links provided by Marla have been so helpful. Thank you so very much for directing me to so wonderful sites.

Florence

[Dragster]

Ronda, the book you got, "My Husband Wears My Clothes", was written by Dr Peggy Rudd, SO of Melanie R, who posted #11 on this thread! Maybe you missed it. No doubt they are pleased with this unsolicited testimonial! I would be.

Tony