Would you...

[LillyAntayra]

Hypothetical question:

Say you're looking around the forums and you identify another CD as someone you know IRL, like from work or something, but you each didn't know about each other's secret. Would you approach that person about it IRL? How would you go about it?

- - - - -

No, I don't know anyone here... would be great tho'.

[PaulaQ]

Private message them, ask if you know them, identify yourself.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lilly, to bounce the question back at you, How would you feel if the tables were reversed??

I personally wouldn't try to expose him.

[Kate Simmons]

I would respect her privacy unless we actually ran into one another en femme. She may not be ready for openness yet. Of course I get that from formerly working in Intel services and things being on a "need to know" basis.:battingeyelashes::)

[nvlady]

I was in a somewhat similar situation. I found out about someone, and made arrangements for a gg we both knew to contact him, which resulted in him finding out about me. It was no big deal, when we saw each other we knew we shared a common bond and we knew neither one would go blabbing it out to everyone. I was actually happy to know that there was a male acquaintance that knew my secret, and I think he felt the same.

[Marcia Blue]

Been their done that, even have the T-shirt.

My brothers, ex-wife's, father-in-law, cross-dresses, and I found her on CD.com. This was after she joined my real life support group. I contacted her and her wife, before they attended a meeting. I felt that they should know about me, before they were surprised at the meeting.

[~Joanne~]

I'd send a bunch of notes saying "I KNOW what you do in your free time" or "I know your secret!" lol I am just kidding of coarse.

I wouldn't do a thing. If they ever wanted me to know, or anyone else, I am sure they would tell everyone so I would respect their privacy. I certainly would never approach them in real life, as you put it.

[Adriana]

Good question, but I personally would want to IM them in private. Also, I'm a firm believer that all things happen for a reason and we grow from it. Also, you never know, you might of just found your next best friend.

[heatherdress]

I would respect their privacy. I would not question them or let them know that I recognized them.

[Tracii G]

Let it go for now.

[Charla McBee]

I think I'd probably send a PM, "looks like we have something in common," or something to that effect.

[lynn.crossdresser]

First I would ask myself would I wish to come out to him/her/them also. How friendly would I wish to be with him? Do we have anything else in common? What do we both have to loose and gain from it?

So many questions and insecurities would explain why this CD has so few true friends and only one other than my wife know about Lynn.

So I would ask myself do I want them to know about Lynn if not then I would respect their privacy. But it would be interesting to watch from a distance if I am honest.

Lynn

[Adriana Moretti]

gotta say......I love that wig....i think i have the same one.......you would have to be REALLY good at picking somebody out...there are a few gals i know and have either met in guy mode or shared guy pics with...and NOBODY looks ANYTHING like the guy/girl .....its always WOW thats you??

[Marcelle]

Hi Lilly,

Funny questions as that kind of happened to me but on chat site for a local support group. It was purely by accident and I had not worked with the person for quite some times. It was just a few noted comments during chat that I recognized her by her employment. We both came to the same epiphany at about the same time and went to private conversation in the chat room. It was shall we say very interesting. So I would be inclined to follow the same pattern here and use a PM.

Hugs

Isha

[5150 Girl]

seems like the most prudent course of actin to me.

[Cheryl123]

There's a fine line between the rewards of finding a sister and respecting the privacy of others. You might try revealing yourself to her without letting on that you know her. Perhaps you could say you worked at such and such company in such and such office. If she responds by revealing that she has something in common with you then take it from there. If she ignores your approach then its best to leave it at that. But by all means make the approach through PM.

[Beverley Sims]

I would have to be approached first and even I may deny it to test the reaction from the other side.

I do have suspicions but privacy is paramount.

Meet me face to face and talk about it....
An entirely different thing.

[Melissa18]

I have a work colleague who I have know since childhood, actually went to school with him,i known she dresses by the subtle tell tale signs and just say I know she is a fellow dresser, I have, on numerous occasions tried to broach the subject with her. But at the last moment I just couldn't say anything. I haven't said anything to her because I didn't want to invade her privacy, I just know our enfemme paths will cross eventually.

[Katey888]

Interesting question.... I often feel like I'm missing out somewhere as so many folk here seem able to spot CDers out and about... I've seen one for sure in decades... must not be going to the right places, I suppose...

Would I approach? Depends - there's a lot of folk I know I wouldn't approach socially however they were dressed... If it was someone I had a good relationship with in guy mode, yes, I might offer a very neutral approach...

How? PM is a good way... If I knew them well enough to want to approach them, I'd probably know or find an 'off-forum' way of contacting them as well...

It's got me thinking about how some past friends and colleagues might present as female... and some of them are not pleasant thoughts... :eek: but must remember, beauty being skin deep and all - or perhaps in our case, the thickness of a good concealer and foundation... :D

Katey x

[Athena_]

Hi Lilly,

If I thought I recognized someone I know IRL on these forums, I would want to respect their privacy. I would not want them to stop coming to this site for guidance and advice.

[VickiTheGamer]

If I were the one being contacted, then it would all depend on how they come across. If they are a CD'er and share that in there note before letting me know they know about me then that would work. Hell, if that happened then I think I would be giddy like a school girl. I think it would be very cool and in my case, I would want to hang out at lunch and stuff.

So I would say PM, be gentle and let them know you too are a CD.