Cruel nazi older brother heard my fem sounding phone greeting.

[Alice Torn]

I had forgotten about the lady voice effort on my phone greeting. Today, my extremely intense bigoted nazi older brother called and heard my greeting, and left a critical message for me about it sounding like a boy, and maybe a girl. i did not retun his call, but changed my greeting to guy voice, and a saying: "Before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes." From, a 1970 Joe South song. And also said, "If everyone kept the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would want them to do to you." He will call again soon, and i will not answer, hoping he hears it. But, as always, the hypocrite bigot will find fault with it, and me. I f only i had the money, to escape this area, and get far from my torturer family!

[Tina G]

Don't let it get you down at all, in fact your "Walk a mile in my shoes" you should think of how many times he'd trip around in your Heels ;)

[Michaelasfun]

I'd make good use of the caller ID and not pick up his calls. Toxic family members just drag you down to their level, IF you let them.

[Ressie]

Alice, you shouldn't get defensive. In fact, I would try to make a joke about it. My older brother can be critical too and I would never let on that I'm a CD. I'd say something like, "oh that was after one my hormone shots". If he doesn't like it too bad.

[Alice Torn]

Its a long long story, of toxic parents, a 93 yo toxic father, and three sons and a daughter who never matured or grew up..and all are without SO's.

[Tami Monroe]

It sounds to me like he needs a good smack in the kisser from his very masculine younger brother. :)

[reb.femme]

Hi Alice,

The old saying of, "you can pick your friends but not your family" seems well suited here. Pity the reverse can't be engineered sometimes. My advice would be to just ignore the tw&t but obviously this is easier said than done. My brothers would be sure fire useless and not supportive if they knew about me, so I haven't and won't be outing myself there just yet.

I don't get any contact from my family unless they need something from me and they live only a stones throw away. Not sure if this is a positive or not, but tend toward the former.

Rebecca

[Sara Jessica]

It seems that every time I read one of your misadventures that you are doing everything humanly possible to get yourself outed. Heel indentations in a neighbors floor, leaving your flash drive behind (among others), now this. Your Honor, I rest my case.

[Eryn]

He sounds like a good person to ignore.

Those macho types think that they are brave. Think of how brave he would be if he was told that he had to spend four hours walking around a mall in a dress. We're not only brave enough to do that, we completely enjoy it! :)

[samantha rogers]

Alice, other people can only hurt you if you allow them to...don't give him that power, sweetheart.
Hugs

[Alice Torn]

Sara Jessica. I have been under constant mega stress and issues the past 4 years non stop, and also poverty. Enough to mess up anyone. There may be a part of me, and other CD men that secretly wants to be outed.

[donnalee]

Or you could just change your phone number.
No one and nothing says you have to let abusive people into your life. Since apparently one or more of your brothers is out of prison, it's time for one or more of them to take care of your dad, giving you the opportunity to leave if you wish and to get them out of your life as they're not going to change at this point and neither are you. It might be best to separate in the interest of your psychological, physical and mental health. One can't choose one's relatives, as has been said, but it is often best to relate to them infrequently and from a considerable distance.

[Beverley Sims]

Like others have said Alice, isolate him from your phone number so as he cannot call you.

[Katey888]

Alice,

Do you really think your voicemail greeting is the place to be practicing your femme voice if you don't want people you know, to know...?

Others here have given the same advice - don't open yourself up to this abuse... Another good quote (while not biblical) has it's roots with the Greeks... "God helps those who help themselves.." Take ownership of this Alice, and begin to make things better for you! :hugs:

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Alice,

While I can sympathize with your plight sweetie, I really believe in my heart of hearts that you need to just ignore/remove the source of your agony. Your family does sound toxic (from what you describe on this site) and in some ways a bit abusive. I see a lot of control exerted over you by your brother and father (you truly worry about what they think of you). You need to remove their control and return it to yourself and this has nothing to do with CDing and everything to do with being your own person. I realize it is not an easy thing but you need to take steps to gain control over your life. You are all adults Alice, tell them not to call, tell them you don't wish to speak to them unless they are going to be civil. Do you fear physical violence from them? If so, perhaps it is time to get the authorities involved.

I see a lot of confusion and pain in your posts Alice . . . you really need to gain some happiness and I believe it can only start with you taking back your life.

Hugs

Isha