An observation

[Cheyenne Skye]

In reading these and other online forums, the topics of "passing" or not and gendering correctly/incorrectly come up on a fairly regular basis. When I am out running errands, I don't always look my best. Sometimes I go after work, no make up, maybe even a little five o'clock shadow. But I also have long hair and breasts I can no longer hide. As I go about my life, I have noticed something. Cashiers, clerks and salespeople tend to avoid using ANY gendered terminology at all. As if they are unsure of how to address me and are being polite enough not to use any gender pronouns so that they won't offend me. Would it be better for them to try and get it wrong? At least then I know how I am perceived in the eyes of the world. Or if they got it right, it would give my confidence a little boost. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

[Starling]

We're all so worried about what other people think, Cheyenne. After we spend precious years pretending to be what we're not, should we trade it for pretending to be who we are?

You've already accomplished the really hard part, being reborn as yourself. That's huge, so try to relax and let everyone else catch up at their own pace.

:) Lallie (a once and future transitioner)

[StephanieC]

Hi Cheyenne,
Yes, I see this too. Usually, they get it right but sometimes they say nothing. I figure as long as I give them pause, I'm moving in the right direction.

It might also have to do with age and gender of the other person but I'm not sure that is a consistent trend.

-stephani

[JohnH]

Here in Texas I get addressed as Sir as often as I do Ma'am. I don't worry about it because here in these parts it is quite common for women to be addressed as Sir even by other women.

Johanna Anna

[Michelle789]

Cheyenne,

In L.A. where I live I notice that many sales clerks do not address anyone by gendered pronouns. I notice that when I'm both in male and in female mode it's common for me to get neither a sir nor a ma'am. I also notice that it's not just me, that no one is getting sir'ed nor ma'amed. I think, at least in L.A., that many clerks have been told by their supervisors not to sir or ma'am anyone, probably because of complaints about being misgendered. No one wants to get fired. No one, individual nor corporation, wants to get sued either.

This doesn't happen all the time. There are just as many clerks that use gendered pronouns as clerks that don't out here. Sometimes I'm in situations where others are being sir'ed or ma'amed and I get neither. I've been ma'amed a few times and sir'ed once. Once I was at a Starbucks where the clerk sir'ed all the men and the women got neither a sir nor a ma'am. I got neither a sir nor a ma'am, so I guess in that case he read me as a woman.

:) Michelle :)

[Inna]

celebrate as your true self lets it self be known. However, as I have always believed, I put trust in those who see me and never forced them to make an assumption against their own perceived reality.
What I mean by such, is that without false facade such as stereotypical gender clothing such as heels, skirts, etc, you are being viewed as the inbetweener, such a place is good to be in, as the natural progression will only bring you forward towards the truth.
I remember from my own journey, I always repeated this motto: "If one day, wearing jeans, tshirt and flats someone call me MAAM I will know I have arrived"