Do any of you envisage an end date?

[Claire_tv_uk]

Ok so i may be being a bit naive, but hear me out,

I accept a lot of you have taken up dressing late in life, or have been dressing all your life and continue into your later years and for some of you its more a way of life than anything else.

But for those of you who are like me and dress for entertainment and the frill of it, do you imagine a day when you'll just stop, when your kids have grown old enough to understand, when you move in with a woman etc?

For me, the excitement/turn on of dressing has been of wearing modern fashionable womens clothes and looking at myself and seeing a (vaguely) attractive young woman when dressed.

I have little to no interest in the clothes older women wear and although i guess the flame inside me will never die entirely, i struggle to see myself (probably struggling) putting on the clothes i love to wear now when i'm in my 50s and older, the fantasy will become nicer than the reality of the wrinkly old man looking back at me.

I go for long periods of time without dressing as it is now, so i'd imagine i'll slowly just cut back and eventually stop at some point.

Did any of the older girls on here have the same idea as me and found they could not or did not want to stop and do the younger girls see themselves stopping at some point or are you always going to dress?

[PaulaQ]

Hi Claire - you'll always dress. Aging isn't so bad as you think, and I'm an "ancient" 51 years old! ;)

[Bria]

Claire, I'll respond as one of the older girls here, I'm 73. I have five kids, all girls beteen the age of 42 and 50. when I look at my kids I think that they still look pretty hot (if the weren't my kids) and the 20 somthing GGs just are too young to be interesting, hot yes, but interesting, no.

I think that it comes down to the fact that as we (males) age the GGs that are about our own age still look really good. When we were in our teens and twenties a GG in here forties was OLD!! Now a woman in here forties can be very attractive, soooo, I am happy to dress in an age approprate style. OK, so maybe I'd like to look like a woman in her late fifties rather than 70s.

I don't know how old you are Claire, but I will bet that over the years your tastes will slowly change. Reality is a hard master even in boy mode, its just not possible to look 20 anymore. Getting older anin't for sissies, but it beats the alternative!!

Hugs Bria

[Teresa]

Clair,
Getting older doesn't mean giving up, just look after yourself keep fit, watch your weight ! being wrinkly isn't exclusive to men !
There are great fashion choices even as you get older why turn your back on them, Cding can still be fun and enjoyable.
I didn't learn to ski till I was 55 and I'm not giving up yet, can't wait to get back on the slopes, it knocks years off you !
We have some incredible members in their seventies and older and most of them know what they'll be wearing when they finally put the lid on their box !

And Paula is still a slip of a thing at 51 !

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Claire, I've already picked out and told my wife what dress that I want to be laid out in when the time comes.

[Kate Simmons]

I see it as a waste of time and energy being concerned about what I will or won't do in the future. I enjoy the present and will let tomorrow take care of itself.:battingeyelashes::)

[Talisker]

For me, the excitement/turn on of dressing has been of wearing modern fashionable womens clothes and looking at myself and seeing a (vaguely) attractive young woman when dressed.
I have little to no interest in the clothes older women wear. Dont want old wrinkly man staring back at me,
I go for long periods of time without dressing as it is now, so i'd imagine i'll slowly just cut back and eventually stop at some point.


The above is just the same for me. Its been just over a year now since I bought my first wig and heels. I have been wearing dresses since young but not gone all they way - wig, heels etc until recently. Part of that was the curiosity to see what I would look like before getting too old. Now I do wish I had tried it earlier because as a teenager I remember I looked very hot in a LBD. Unfortunately digital cameras were not around then.
In the future I can imagine that the time will come when just wont bother with makeup and wig again.

Having said that Claire you seem to have many years left in you yet.

[Nadine Spirit]

But for those of you who are like me and dress for entertainment and the frill of it,

I think a lot of guys want to think this. Like the idea of "I don't do this because I am internally different, I just do it for fun! and I can stop anytime I want to. And eventually I will stop when I want to, because I just wont want to do it anymore because of _______ reason."

Hmmm...... if this was such an easy thing to stop then why are there so many who have purged repeatedly and every single time they told themselves I am throwing this stuff away because I will never do this again! And then low and behold, they do it again and buy the stuff all over again.

I think it is naive to think it is so easy to stop this because you are not serious about it, you just do it for the entertainment and fun.

That being said, will I ever stop, even if I could and even if I get older and not look the way I do now? Nope, I will not stop. I guess I will just be one of those old wrinkly cross dressers and personally I will be happy if I ever get to that point and I get to enjoy that privilege.

[ReineD]

I think the people who have stopped or drastically cut down aren't here to answer for themselves. Who knows why so many people join, are rather prolific with their posts for awhile, and then no longer participate.

I have a local friend whose husband CDed. He went through many cycles in his life (at one point he thought he wanted to be a girl), but he has stopped completely. My friend told me that the biggest factor was no longer being able to achieve his vision of a woman. I say "he", because this is how he now identifies.

There are of course many CDers who will CD all their lives, but not everyone fits in the same boat.

[Claire_tv_uk]

Thanks for all the replies, sorry i haven't replied to them all but thanks for making the effort.


Hi Claire - you'll always dress. Aging isn't so bad as you think, and I'm an "ancient" 51 years old! ;)


you're probably assuming that i will based on your own experiences.



Claire, I'll respond as one of the older girls here, I'm 73. I have five kids, all girls beteen the age of 42 and 50. when I look at my kids I think that they still look pretty hot (if the weren't my kids) and the 20 somthing GGs just are too young to be interesting, hot yes, but interesting, no.

I think that it comes down to the fact that as we (males) age the GGs that are about our own age still look really good. When we were in our teens and twenties a GG in here forties was OLD!! Now a woman in here forties can be very attractive, soooo, I am happy to dress in an age approprate style. OK, so maybe I'd like to look like a woman in her late fifties rather than 70s.

I don't know how old you are Claire, but I will bet that over the years your tastes will slowly change. Reality is a hard master even in boy mode, its just not possible to look 20 anymore. Getting older anin't for sissies, but it beats the alternative!!

Hugs Bria

well my tastes haven't changed much in the 20 years since i first became aware that i liked to crossdress but i can't rule it out, i totally agree that women can look attractive up to a ripe old age but i just dont find their clothes attractive.



The above is just the same for me. Its been just over a year now since I bought my first wig and heels. I have been wearing dresses since young but not gone all they way - wig, heels etc until recently. Part of that was the curiosity to see what I would look like before getting too old. Now I do wish I had tried it earlier because as a teenager I remember I looked very hot in a LBD. Unfortunately digital cameras were not around then.
In the future I can imagine that the time will come when just wont bother with makeup and wig again.

Having said that Claire you seem to have many years left in you yet.

thanks, i hope so as i enjoy it.


I think a lot of guys want to think this. Like the idea of "I don't do this because I am internally different, I just do it for fun! and I can stop anytime I want to. And eventually I will stop when I want to, because I just wont want to do it anymore because of _______ reason."

Hmmm...... if this was such an easy thing to stop then why are there so many who have purged repeatedly and every single time they told themselves I am throwing this stuff away because I will never do this again! And then low and behold, they do it again and buy the stuff all over again.

I think it is naive to think it is so easy to stop this because you are not serious about it, you just do it for the entertainment and fun.

That being said, will I ever stop, even if could and even if I get older and not look the way I do now? Nope, I will not stop. I guess I will just be one of those old wrinkly cross dressers and personally I will be happy if I ever get to that point and I get to enjoy that privilege.

its not about stopping when i want to or even wanting to stop, i've no desire to stop now but i just envisage a time (i just picked 50 arbitrarily, it might be sooner or later) when i will. I've never purged as i think in most cases its an act of guilt and i don't feel guilt for crossdressing.


I think the people who have stopped or drastically cut down aren't here to answer for themselves. Who knows why so many people join, are rather prolific with their posts for awhile, and then no longer participate.

I have a local friend whose husband CDed. He went through many cycles in his life (at one point he thought he wanted to be a girl), but he has stopped completely. My friend told me that the biggest factor was no longer being able to achieve his vision of a woman. I say "he", because this is how he now identifies.

There are of course many CDers who will CD all their lives, but not everyone fits in the same boat.

yeah, i imagine anyone who's stopped probably won't still be on here to tell their story. Your friends husband sounds like me (although i have never wanted to be a girl) in that he has a set vision of how they want to appear.

[bimini1]

Interesting thoughts. I had a CD friend who says he thinks some people just "outgrow" it. And then there are some who take it as far as they can, accomplish everything they set out to do with it and boom it's over with.

As I near the half century mark with a toddler running around the house these are thoughts that are at the forefront of my mind. About 20 years ago a girlfriend asked me where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years with reference to the CD, do you still see yourself doing it?
I did not know how to process that. It was just this unsaid kind of feeling I had that this is just what I do, who I am. Sure I will still do it.

Now, I am not so sure. The fact that a couple of wrinkles have started to set in on my face definitely threw me. I could see myself in about 10 years throwing on a silvery gray wig and keep going with it. They do make some nice one's for the older ladies too.

But I don't think it will be the result of any conscious decision on my part. I relate it to when I gave up dope. I had done it for over 25 years. Had struggled to give it up on many times. Then one morning 7 years ago I literally "woke up" one morning and had a vision of my life without it crystal clear. There was and has been no struggle, no toiling. It just got up and left.

I think this is how the CD will go if it does indeed go.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Claire, you will never stop being a cd.

[Claire_tv_uk]

Claire, you will never stop being a cd.


what have you based this on?

[sometimes_miss]

Do any of you envisage an end date?
I've managed to quit crossdressing several times for quite a few years. So I'll manage to do it again. However; before, it was all under the delusion that if and when I did tell my SO, that she'd be accepting because of everything else I am, it would all outweigh the 'tiny' problem of my desire to crossdress. But since then, I've learned otherwise; I've also learned to carefully bring up the subject to find out the truth. And that ugly quote from 'a few good men' always comes back to haunt me; I can't handle the truth. My prying into whether the woman will ever accept crossdressing infects my feelings about her, and I lose interest when I find out that she has such negative feelings about any guy who 'isn't all man' as they usually put it. Once I know she'll never consider me worthy of her love because I'm not 'all man' in her eyes...my desire for her usually just withers up and dies. So for now, I have to play both sides of the fence, and keep that fence high enough to not let either side affect the other.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Claire, I base my opinion on how I struggle & fail miserably to stop, from readings of experts as to why we do what we do & the inability to stop & the many honored experts on this forum who are much more experienced & wiser than me. You raise great food for thought. I don't know you & don't want to paint Claire with a stereotyped paint brush , but only you can honestly answer this question for yourself. However, should your journey come to a red stop sign, particularly in your later years, don't be surprised if your cding reawakens & that red signal turns to green. Being a cd in your fifties brings different challenges & excitement. Claire, I truly wish you peace & continued enjoyment in being Claire. Good luck my friend.

[Claire_tv_uk]

thanks for your kind words, very nice of you,

i think the point that i'm making is that i've never tried to stop and i never will try, whilst the desire is there i will dress and enjoy it, when it goes i'll stop and i just think that'll happen when i no longer look like i want to when dressed,

i may well be wrong though.

[Tracii G]

I'm with Kate on this one.
Its not worth the stress worrying about it.Just because you age doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love.
I'm 61 and enjoy life and what it has to offer.If you constantly stress over things you have no control over you will slowly kill your inner spirit.

[JennyLynn]

Only time will tell

[Nadine Spirit]

Claire-

You are kind of acting as though this is nothing more than just a fun quirky little thing you have chosen to do. Like you looked at a list of different potential hobbies and said, cross dressing sounds like fun, I guess I will give that a try. As you said you simply do it for "entertainment or the frill of it." (Is frill a UK thing, or did you mean thrill?) Like you do it as someone else would go to the movies.

Purging out of guilt was not my earlier point, my point was many try to stop and find themselves unable to do so. Many cross dressers hate that they cross dress and want nothing more than to stop. Many go to therapists and ask for help to quit and instead the therapist works with them to become comfortable with their desires, because they know there is no way to make the desires go away.

But, even with all of that being said, I do believe you can choose to not act on your desires, but most likely you will continue to desire to do it even if you can force yourself to stop acting on it. So, looking at my own words here, I suppose what I am knit picking is your thought that you do this for entertainment, and no other reason.

[linda booth]

Here's a twist on the question: I heard a CD ask what if ill health meant he'd end up in a nursing home & wasn't allowed to dress? I think that would be horrible!

[Ressie]

I'm also thinking along the line of Kate. There's no telling what the future holds for anyone. The desire to dress may decrease or increase or ebb and flow throughout the coming years.

[Wildaboutheels]

Maybe it's more an "American thing"... than in other countries...?

A [mostly prevailing] attitude that when one reaches their 40s or fifties or _______ that their best years are "behind them" and or they have little else "to look forward to". That is is simply a "given" that we will all get fatter, need more pills for various things, we will lose most or all of our sex drive and quality of life will get ever worse... and the list goes on and it IS true for most Americans who treat their bodies like trash dumps. They are likely obese or at least overweight, hooked on alcohol or drugs of some type, and/or smoke some type of product, get little or no exercise, and have poor diets. YES, one IS likely to be "all washed up" if one treats their bodies that way.

It's well established and well documented Scientific FACT: Regular exercise, a reasonable weight and a proper diet is the closest thing we have to a Fountain of Youth and there is absolutely NOTHING mysterious about it.

I'm not in the least worried about my future since my CDing has not changed in 50+ years.

But of course it IS people's CHOICE in how they treat their bodies.

[Adriana Moretti]

the thought crosses my mind occasionally and I wonder..but I will cross that bridge when I get to it...no use in thinking about it now. Another thing to keep in mind is your style may naturally mature as you do.....I started out as a punky goth girl in fishnets, vinyl, and latex, and now I would NEVER....I have matured
( slightly)...and Im sure I will some more.....eventually

[MWCMDarlene]

Claire,

I can remember when I was in my early 30's, I would probably quit when I turned 40 or so because that would be middle-aged and I would have "matured" enough to have had my fill, frill, and thrill of it all. Now here I am 51 and still CDing at every chance I get. At 30, there is no way I could envision myself doing this at 50. Now, at 51, I am beginning to wonder what I will be doing as concerning this activity when I retire (67-70). That will mean my wife will be home at that time also. She knows that I CD when she isn't at home and we have a DADT relationship as concerning CDing. She wishes, wants, and pray that I would stop this "sinning" that I do. It will be hard to stop, and will probably still do it when she isn't home.

I have also wondered about the "what if" should I ever be admitted into an "Old Folks" home. If/should that happen, it might be "Katie Bar the Door" because I might just chalk it up as being senile!

[Eryn]

I can no more envisage an "end date" than a GG could envisage an "end date." As I progress in my CDing I find that I am less interested in the "dress to the nines" experience and more interested in participating in everyday events, dressed and interacting in the way I desire. As I age I expect that my taste in clothes will evolve as that of a GG would. I expect that retirement will bring with it increased freedom to be myself.

I would really hate to reach the point of debilitation where it is physically impossible for me to express myself as I wish. At that point I'd just as soon unplug.

[Claire_tv_uk]

Claire-

You are kind of acting as though this is nothing more than just a fun quirky little thing you have chosen to do. Like you looked at a list of different potential hobbies and said, cross dressing sounds like fun, I guess I will give that a try. As you said you simply do it for "entertainment or the frill of it." (Is frill a UK thing, or did you mean thrill?) Like you do it as someone else would go to the movies.

Purging out of guilt was not my earlier point, my point was many try to stop and find themselves unable to do so. Many cross dressers hate that they cross dress and want nothing more than to stop. Many go to therapists and ask for help to quit and instead the therapist works with them to become comfortable with their desires, because they know there is no way to make the desires go away.

But, even with all of that being said, I do believe you can choose to not act on your desires, but most likely you will continue to desire to do it even if you can force yourself to stop acting on it. So, looking at my own words here, I suppose what I am knit picking is your thought that you do this for entertainment, and no other reason.

My spelling mistake, sorry,

As i said i'm not trying or hoping to stop, just that i think it will naturally die out as i get older.

I see no issue with saying i do it for entertainment, the only two times i've fully dressed this year were when i was bored and had a loose few hours, is that not the definition of entertainment, something that's less boring than what you were doing?

[suchacutie]

My take is that "old" is a matter of opinion. Physical age is no longer a good measure with all the benefits and knowledge we have to take care of ourselves.

If one's dressing is related to one's hormones, then I guess it's possible for someone to just lose interest (I'm not one of them :) ). But if the thrill is deeper, then it would seem that part of that thrill is the fact that we do look younger en femme, and we work harder at staying younger so we can be en femme.

This all boils down to the reasons we dress in the first place, and those reasons are a massive spectrum. If those reasons lessen with age, then there likely will be a time when the interest just fades, and it will all be a very pleasant memory!

I don't have any empathy for that situation, as I am still on the upward swing, at just shy of 64.

[NicoleScott]

Yes. Generally, when the payoff isn't worth the effort.
It may depend on what drives us to CD. Those who have internal feminine identities and dress because "it just feels right" may never quit CDing. Those who dress because it is sexually exciting may end their CDing when the sexual drive wanes to the point when the payoff isn't worth the effort or isn't happening at all.
So, to summarize:
- identity dressers: "when my cold dead hands...."
- sexual dressers: "when my cold dead (you know what)..."

[Helen_Highwater]

Claire,
My guess is you will continue to dress as time passes but you will be fashionably dressed in something suited to the woman of your age.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I think the people who have stopped or drastically cut down aren't here to answer for themselves. Who knows why so many people join, are rather prolific with their posts for awhile, and then no longer participate.

I have a local friend whose husband CDed. He went through many cycles in his life (at one point he thought he wanted to be a girl), but he has stopped completely. My friend told me that the biggest factor was no longer being able to achieve his vision of a woman. I say "he", because this is how he now identifies.

There are of course many CDers who will CD all their lives, but not everyone fits in the same boat.

As one who has drastically cut down working on my way to stopping, I will say yes I don't find the need to come around here much. And I often feel hesitant to post anything because I am not sure if CDers come here to seek advise on lessening or quitting crossdressing.

I have greatly diminished how often I dress, time spent while dressed, and articles of women's clothes I wear. And a day where I don't dress seems to be coming closer and closer. But having said that I don't think the day will ever come when the thought or the fantasy of it will leave. I think one day I'll look back on it like looking at childhood toys in the attic.

Why? I got tired of chasing a fantasy girl that could never really be. It was time to chase fantasies I could catch and be happy. And for me that is working.

[ClaraKay]

Yes. Generally, when the payoff isn't worth the effort.
It may depend on what drives us to CD. Those who have internal feminine identities and dress because "it just feels right" may never quit CDing. Those who dress because it is sexually exciting may end their CDing when the sexual drive wanes to the point when the payoff isn't worth the effort or isn't happening at all.
So, to summarize:
- identity dressers: "when my cold dead hands...."
- sexual dressers: "when my cold dead (you know what)..."

LAUGH OUT LOUD! Nicole, I think you've got it.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Yes. Generally, when the payoff isn't worth the effort.
It may depend on what drives us to CD. Those who have internal feminine identities and dress because "it just feels right" may never quit CDing. Those who dress because it is sexually exciting may end their CDing when the sexual drive wanes to the point when the payoff isn't worth the effort or isn't happening at all.
So, to summarize:
- identity dressers: "when my cold dead hands...."
- sexual dressers: "when my cold dead (you know what)..."

I think you're right, Nicole. I know a couple of older wives whose husbands don't dress anymore. Apparently one still keeps his stash in the garage and goes out and gives it a little loving pat every now and again, lol. Still no desire to dress though, as apparently the old lady in the mirror isn't working for him anymore. His wife, of course, now tells all other wives that yes, men CAN stop CDing if they like. I think she's a little smug.

But I guess if your entire dressing experience was for the pleasure of seeing a hot young lady in the mirror (as is my husbands) and it is cyclical depending on sexual urges, then of course it could drop away to virtually nothing. You might feel a sense of loyalty though to something that's been part of your life for so long, and you might want to buy your own garage storage box :)

For those whose identity is entwined with their dressing then no, I can't see how they would ever stop without doing themselves great psychological harm.

[Nadine Spirit]

That last line of yours really made me think and consider. Thanks Tinkerbell for giving me an insight into myself, it is an aspect I have never thought about. :)

[ReineD]

Why? I got tired of chasing a fantasy girl that could never really be. It was time to chase fantasies I could catch and be happy. And for me that is working.

Thanks for sharing. This is a sentiment that is not often discussed, but it's what happened to my friend's husband and also to a few other CDers I know.

[Lucy_Bella]

Still no desire to dress though, as apparently the old lady in the mirror isn't working for him anymore. His wife, of course, now tells all other wives that yes, men CAN stop CDing .

I just think I understand now why a few wiley cders use a mask.. Please allow me to forget that such a enhancement could be used to help further my years of CDing ..I'm doomed :(

[Beverley Sims]

The only thing I see at the end of the line is a fish hook. :)

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I just think I understand now why a few wiley cders use a mask.. Please allow me to forget that such a enhancement could be used to help further my years of CDing ..I'm doomed :(

Lol, Lucy, good point! You'll have to ask DocrobbySherry whether she's found the key to longevity of pleasure dressing. I gather it only takes him a few seconds to become 'her'. Literally.

Mind you, I think if you've been happy so far with what you see in the mirror then a mask would probably never work. I think you'll be okay :)

[MeganDay]

What we do is, quite possibly, one of the most individual things people do. We all have our own reasons and motivations. The important thing is that we all accept each other and ourselves for what we are. Claire, I have idea what you'll do in the future. I have no idea what I'll do tomorrow, other than in general terms. The only person that can answer the question you pose... is you. No big revelation there, I'm pretty sure you know that already. Frankly, for myself, I'm not likely to stop, but I have no idea what the future holds. I'm too busy dealing with the present to worry too much about it in, again, any but the most general terms. I dress to FEEL pretty, not necessarily to look pretty. As long as it makes me feel pretty, I'll keep doing it, and I don't see that feeling going away.

"The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves" - Sarah Connor

[rian]

Well.... I do not see any end to my urge of dressing as a woman ,,till the end of times ...Whenever the opportunity opens I will take it ...Yet as I get older the urge to get more fashionable and exciting .....I will never stop ...It is my love indeed ..

[Katey888]

23rd September 2023

:)

Katey x

[Zylia]

I understand why some people don't like fashion for older women, but I respectfully disagree. You may not be able to pull off certain styles realistically, but then again, some cross-dressers choose styles that don't look good on on a 30-year-old, let alone a 50-year-old. You don't just mature in years.

[Amanda M]

Growing old may not be fun, but it's a darn sight better than the alternative. Here's to you, Amanda!

[mikiSJ]

I consider myself to be TG and for me the end date is probably the "end".

There was a TV ad a while back that gave me an earworm* for the longest time. It is a takeoff on a children's song: 'When I grow up I want to be an old woman'. It kind of became my mantra for a while, and now at 67. I get to live the lyrics.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earworm

[Raychel]

End date :daydreaming:


I guess that would be the day the doctor says get you affairs in order.
I would not want my wife to have to deal with removing all my stuff after I have passed.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Now I know why i dress in my garb very fashionable for our times .. ya ya okay 1400 to 1700.

they dont date your never to young or to old no matter how you look you are you and youll allways get lovely comments. men or women or young children.

you know what the more who do enjoy dressing in those times will not have any issues and do as i do travel over sea's . yeeees dressed in my garb.

as the song goes......i asked my mom what will i be ..... what ever will be , will be,

just enjoy what you have,,,, dont worry about what may not be,

...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

There are few certainties, mostly probabilities. Its probable that most CD rs will continue to dress all their lives, but that statement allows for exceptions. As an older CDr I can attest to the fact that our motivations change, or at least What we believe to be our motivations. Its certainly possible that you may lose interest.

I would not use the absence of some long members of this site as evidence of anything. Some might have quit... possible. Some transitioned. Sadly, some have passed away. Some found other discussion groups more to their liking. Some just got to busy to frequent online forums. There is a steady gradual turnover that naturally occurs. Its only proof of life.

[Aprilrain]

A third of you will stop crossdresssing once you transition:devil:

[AKADonna]

As you grow older and your tastes in women's clothes change, you get to enjoy that many more shopping trips! What could be better! Don't worry about it; just enjoy the fantastic journey!

[Lynn Marie]

I'm an older lady and I try to dress the part. I truly love being a classy old broad working at the library. I'll stop dressing when I move in with my dream girl or when I can no longer wear heels. Whichever occurs first! But right now I need to talk to this young man with the rippling muscles about his overdue books!

[blue_melody]

As one who has drastically cut down working on my way to stopping, I will say yes I don't find the need to come around here much. And I often feel hesitant to post anything because I am not sure if CDers come here to seek advise on lessening or quitting crossdressing.

I have greatly diminished how often I dress, time spent while dressed, and articles of women's clothes I wear. And a day where I don't dress seems to be coming closer and closer. But having said that I don't think the day will ever come when the thought or the fantasy of it will leave. I think one day I'll look back on it like looking at childhood toys in the attic.

Why? I got tired of chasing a fantasy girl that could never really be. It was time to chase fantasies I could catch and be happy. And for me that is working.

I quit dressing last October. In my case the dressing no longer seemed to calm me or relieve stress like it used to, and actually finding time to dress became stressful in itself. I would plan, for example, to work from home and dress, then I would find excuses to not actually carry through. I think part of the reason is I have gained way too much weight and felt very uneasy dressed. Another consideration is that the dressing caused much stress between my spouse and I, we were pretty much in a DADT situation, but I needed to convey to her when I would be home, as her employment at the time had a varied schedule. I have no idea what the future will bring in terms of dressing, but the fantasy of dressing and the interest has not subsided, just the actual dressing.

[devida]

I'm 63, nearly 64. I don't dress femme for any other reason than that it represents who I think I am. Even when I dressed only in male clothes, which was the majority of my life, I was still only dressing the gender I thought I was. Sure I get a thrill out of new clothes and a new bra also makes me hot but I get over it and I didn't get the bra to get hot. I got it because it represents the way I think about my gender. I do think that gender identity is fluid. It certainly has been for me. I was quite femme in my youth, less so in my middle age and much more so now that I am older. Could I identify more male than I do right now. Actually today I feel pretty male. Three oaf the six items of clothing I am wearing are male and I am not wearing makeup. I am doing some kinda dirty work, though so maybe that explains it. Yesterday I felt more female. What's a gender bending male female girl guy androgyne to do? Not much I guess except accept that I change from day to day and year to year and situation to situation. At least I keep myself interesting!

So I don't actually understand the question. Although there's an obvious answer. It will stop when I am dead? That's a good end date.

[Jaymees22]

Wow I hope there's no end date soon. I'll be 70 by the end of this year and I think the fun has just begun. Not only can I dress as a woman but a younger one too. Jaymee

[paulaprimo]

probably when they pry my purse from my cold dead hands... :D

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Claire...

To directly answer your initial question: I do not envisage an end date. However, I do believe that if the will moves me - or a choice must be made - I may, indeed, one day let it go (dressing.)

Similar to yourself I tend to enjoy dressing much like a hobby although I tend to wear rather modest attire such as long sleeved blouses, knee-length or long skirts, 3" heels or lower, etc. It is enjoyable, sometimes exciting, and I do find that the activity does relax me and aids me in forgetting about life's tough times. I dress when I can - which is when my wife is out of the house for long enough periods of time - and try to do some regular, everyday activities dressed as well. I like the idea of experiencing all manner of activities while dressed including these for a start: eating, sleeping, lounging, watching a movie, housework, talking on the phone, watching TV or surfing the net, tending to desk work and even intimacy with my wife (not likely!) Having said this my wife has known early in our lives together (almost 20 years ago) of my penchant for dressing and has come to accept that I do it, is reasonably supportive in discussion but wishes not to see me dressed nor supports my wardrobe ambitions. All in all I am very fortunate for her level of acceptance.

If my wife ever decided to pull her support and needed me to forgo my dressing I would likely choose to do so. Her companionship and love mean more to me than the push for dressing. If she were incapacitated and relied on me for 24/7 care I would be hard pressed to dress as the sight of me as such may generate further discomfort. On the contrary she may one day say Hey, wear what you please at home or - I will never hope for this in any way - she may pass away and I be left with all the time I want to dress. There could be any number of reasons to decrease or cease this wonderful activity and several reasons that it remains constant or even increases in frequency. I currently manage once a week for a couple of hours on average.

I agree with those who believe Enjoy the Moment and let tomorrow be what it shall be. I enjoy who I am today and what I choose to wear. If the day comes when I do not do it any longer then so be it and I will simply have to adapt and move forward. If more opportunity arises then perhaps I will accept it just the same.

As a final thought...I think as we age we tend to still see what we see with our inner eye, if that is the right term. In the mirror today is a chronologically 44 year old guy in a dress who looks nothing like a woman save for the forms and decent frame. Yet it all feels lovely and my imagination may offer a bit of a blurring effect to anything not so appealing. As I only dress in private - that will probably remain a lifelong constant - it's how I feel rather than how I look. For now dressing feels wonderful.

Good post!

[natcrys]

I'm gonna live forever.. so I'm gonna dress forever! :p

Seriously though.. I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to (and I can't think of a good reason for wanting so).. let alone envision an end date.

Looking at way the women in my family age.. the way they dress when are 50/60 or even 70, I have no worries about the future with respect to dressing. :)

[Marcelle]

Short of a zombie apocalypse or run away meteor scenario, I don't envisage an end date. :)

Seriously though, it took 50 years to finally admit I am what I am so I have to make up for lost time.

[Cheryl T]

I will stop when I stop moving....RIP

[Claire_tv_uk]

Thanks for the answers everyone, all very interesting.

What i found most interesting was that despite my post clearly being a question for the forum about their own circumstances, quite a few people took it upon themselves to tell me what will happen in my life rather than theirs which means you must have learnt a lot about me in the 100 or so posts i've made on here.

I don't think i've ever encountered a more judgmental group of people in my life, which is interesting given that there are numerous posts on here decrying the lack of tolerance towards us from the general public.

[MsVal]

I came late to the party, finally connecting the dots that spell C-R-O-S-S-D-R-E-S-S-E-R well into my 60's. My wife and I are still coming to terms with what appears to be a life long condition. We are beginning to accept it and embrace it as a natural, normal part of being "me", like my height, or eye color.

I hope that when I die, it won't be while dressed, but there will always be that possibility.



[...] quite a few people took it upon themselves to tell me what will happen in my life rather than theirs which means you must have learnt a lot about me in the 100 or so posts i've made on here. I don't think i've ever encountered a more judgmental group of people in my life, which is interesting given that there are numerous posts on here decrying the lack of tolerance towards us from the general public.

Hmmm...

Best wishes
MsVal

[Melissa in SE Tn]

I love kate's September, 2023 answer. Great soothsayer. Kate, please send me your lucky lottery numbers & we'll split the winnings.

Claire, sorry, but I didn't read the many responses as being judgmental or intolerant of you. You posed the question as a younger cd who questioned whether you will continue doing so into your older years. Many of the respondents were older cd's who voiced, amongst other things, that experience reveals that the joy of cding does not wane or end. Please take our comments as opinions,the voices of experience and not as an offense towards you. We love you Claire & want you to know that you can be a happy cder in your later life. Peace to you, mel

[Christie ann]

An end date? Next week when my wife gets back...