Why?

[Kevyn53]

So my wife has asked my on several occasions why I want to/have to crossdress. She's not judging other than her opinion that most women are trying NOT to get gussied up and why would we put ourselves through all of that. I know that a lot of ggs wear guys jeans and t-shirts while we're in skirts and dresses. I have no answer for her. Do you have any?

[Michelle V]

Because it is fun, because women's styles are beautiful, the materials used to make dresses are specially picked to make women feel pretty, the patterns, the cut, all designed to enhance women's attributes, we as males admire that and want a piece of it, to pretend to be beautiful as women just for a little bit is the best feeling, we emulate the best of being female.
Males in the other hand are expected to be rough, their clothes designed to last the roughness of their daily lives, there isn't much behind male apparel, except for those who are androgynous or considered metrosexual.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

You dress because you love being en femme. Why else would one do such a crazy thing like cd?

[Kevyn53]

Years ago I had a thought that I had an incredibly strong mother and a reasonably weak father and that if I was going to control anything in my life I had to be a woman. Lately it's more of an expression of my creative side, making my painting better.

[Farrah]

Sometimes I ask myself, "Why?!" I have no clue. I think its the process and the time it takes. I know as a male, I make sure I look nice, but I don't put a whole lot into it. I'm still not sure why though. Maybe the world may never know! ;)

[Saikotsu]

For me, I dress to connect with my female side. It's not a matter of feeling pretty and I get no sexual charge out of it. Instead, it feels like I'm letting a part of myself be free. It feels right. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel "wrong" when I'm dressed as a guy. It just feels more natural to dress as a woman. That said, some days I feel more natural in my male attire. It really just depends on which part of me wants to be expressed.

[Adriana Moretti]

the real question is...WHY NOT??...but yea considering at least half the girls on this forum only dress once a month..why NOT go all out...I gotta agree though its alot of work...and i noticed the more I dress the lazier I get , especially if im not going out that day....my collection of casual comfy clothes is growing faster than my dressy outfits recently.

[reb.femme]

It's a bit like trying to come up with the answer to the meaning of life......42, I believe is the answer to that. I love the clothes and they like me is the best I can manage. Plus I look nicer and younger en femme than when en boy. :heehee:

Ultimately, ....who knows? I know I don't!

Rebecca

[Nadine Spirit]

The more I am learning about cross dressing the more inclined I am to say we do it because it is a part of us, as much as who we choose to have sex with. I don't think the vast majority of people choose to be heterosexual or homosexual, it just is. I think it is the same with cross dressing. I don't think most of us choose to cross dress. It is a desire we are born with. Of course this only my personal little itty bitty tiny opinion.

I think we can choose to fight the desire, but I am not interested in fighting it. So like Adriana said, "why not?"

[Erica Marie]

I dress, but more on the lines of blending little bits into my everyday life. Now and then I will go the whole 9 yrs, but Im with your wife on this. Why get all dressed up for nothing. Im the same person if I have on an evening gown or cute pair of jeans and a comfy tee.

[franlee]

I can answer this in one word, no matter what your motivation or end results. Self-gratification is why.

[Steph_CD_62]

My wife has asked the same question. I still not 100% sure why I do, but I do know that I enjoy feeling of the fabrics from women's clothing and I have so many more colors to choose from too! She still doesn't understand, but accepts me for who I am.
The thing I have yet to figure out is why I enjoy wearing my forms. Yes I enjoy the "bounce" when I walk, but other than that I am not sure why I enjoy them so much.

[Kate Simmons]

To which I can only answer: "Why not?" my friend.:battingeyelashes::)

[Hell on Heels]

Silly question, millions of possibilities, and most likely will never have an answer.
Think back to your first time, what did you know about life,and gender. Probably not much.
So I can only say that the desire is something in us that is a variant from the rest of the non CD population.
A crossed wire if you will, it could be something as simple as a choice or preference. Do you like red, blue, or yellow?
Or something in between, purple, green, or orange.
The choice is yours, only yours, and your happy with your choice.
Just enjoy your gift and don't worry about why you chose pink!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Eryn]

Kevyn, unless your wife dresses exclusively in jeans and shirts in basic earth tones she already knows the answer to your question. She doesn't have to wear dresses or skirts and yet she probably does so occasionally because, whether she realizes it or not, she derives a measure of self-satisfaction from the experience.

[suchacutie]

One effective answer is that we need all the help we can get!!! Put us in clothes that don't scream "femininie" and there's more of a chance that the whole presentation will not come across as feminine. It's all in the feminine clues that we want to project, and covering the masculine clues.

I don't want to minimize the fact that our feminine selves are helped by those feminine clues being there to be perceived by us! It's just a whole lot easier to Tina to remember who she is when the sensory inputs are saying "feminine". Running shoes and tar-stained jeans with an old T-shirt is just not going to make it :)

[Wildaboutheels]

99% of the CDers on the planet [and "most here] USED female clothing items to get to O land at least during their teens.

Having as many Os as possible IS mans' most basic programming.[Ideally, to impregnate as many females as possible] Our male brains will NEVER FORGET this association [with women's clothing] and our male brains don't care where the "little guys" go.

The "dots" are everywhere at this site as well as others. Few are willing or wanting to connect them.

[NicoleScott]

Try as they might, others can't tell you why you crossdress. The answer to my wife was "I don't know. There is some strong but unexplained drive from within."

[Helen_Highwater]

What first dew me to CD'ing I'm still not sure. What I have come to realise as time has past is that I have grown to enjoy the "feel" of wearing fem clothing. The sensation of wearing a casual knee length skirt on bear legs, a soft shirt or blouse. My dressing isn't just confined to "dressy" or glam items, my dressing encompasses the full range of what an average GG would wear. Nothing in my drab wardrobe give me the same feelings. Also as has been said in countless other threads, it has become to feel natural and relaxes me.

[ClaraKay]

When I look in the mirror while in my male gender role, I don't particularly like what I see. It doesn't match my sense of who I am inside. My wife will contradict me saying that I look fine, and that she loves the way I look. Okay, although I never was a particularly handsome man, there isn't anything really wrong with my looks either, but it doesn't change the way I feel about myself.

I think it's interesting that when I spend the time to dress en femme with a nice wig and carefully applied makeup, and I see my reflection in the mirror, I basically like the way I look. A wave of satisfaction flows over me even though there are several things that would make it near impossible for me to pass as a woman. Still, it feels good to feel good about yourself once in awhile, don't you think?

I also have few ways to express my inner woman in daily life. My male body, manly voice, and decades of male conditioning overwhelm my female side which has been ruthlessly suppressed over the years. Dressing up is a way to express that part of me like nothing else can. It's like being allowed out of close confinement; like being given space to run around on a sun drenched day with a gentle breeze on my face. There's a kind of joy to it that nothing else can produce.

I suppose if I was a transwoman who dressed in female attire every day, the thrill would wear off real fast, but that's the point. As long as it remains a once in awhile happening, I will always view crossdressing as a special treat for the special joy it brings.

[njcddresser]

Great question. I came out to my wife and myself as a crossdresser 8 months ago. I asked myself that very question. Why? And why now? I analyzed my up bringing, family and relationships trying to find an answer. I don't have an answer and it has become less important. I have whole hearted lay accepted and embraced that it is a large part of who I am and I love that it has permitted me to become the happy person that I am. I've stopped dwelling on why and have focused more on being the best girl I can be!!

[Confucius]

Well, I tell my wife that when I cross-dress I can feel a rush of sensations: a sense of well-being, pleasure, gratification, comfort, social empathy, and bonding. Its as if my brain is hard-wired to interpret cross-dressing as contact with the feminine, and then releases a host of neurotransmitters - dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and others which are responsible for my sensations. Its as if cross-dressers have an extra neural connection where one activity produces an automatic and involuntary secondary sensory response.

I usually have to reassure my wife that these sensations are in no way in competition with my love for my wife. I find that wives often see our cross-dressing as reflecting some kind of deficiency on her part. I let my wife set the boundaries to my cross-dressing, and I do my best to live within her tolerances.

[Michellegryl]

I am with Clara on this one. Since I was 4 years old I can recall looking in the mirror and feeling like someone was playing a trick on me, my reflection did not match who I felt I am on the inside. When I dress in any way fem I instantly feel as though things suddenly get right with my world. My reflection agrees with my self image and I am happy! I feel free to express my self the way I want to while having to fight years of conditioning of how we are supposed to.

In short I dress because that is who I am and who I want to be.

Michelle

[audreyinalbany]

my wife likes coconut. I don't. No reason, I just don't. Maybe she was flooded with coconut while in the womb. Maybe she had a good experience with coconut when she was little. I dunno.

[~Joanne~]

Nope is there is no answer to the question "why?" it's an endless loop.

[Kevyn53]

Nadine, I'm inclined to agree with you. It's probably hardwired into us like being straight or gay is to someone else. And the dopamine, and serotonin receptors are firing on all cylinders. And it's fun.

[Beverley Sims]

Because it's fun, relaxing and helps with freedom of expression.
These are my humble opinions and if psychiatrists knew they would be out there "curing" us all. :)

There is not one individual idea put forward as to why.

There are lots of reasons but nothing definite.

[Paige Bryant]

I agree whole heartedly with what several others have replied with already. I do it because it is fun, relaxing, and it is part of who I am as a person. I mean come on, look at the fun outfits that women get to wear! Why wouldn't I want to try them on for myself?

[Jenniferathome]

Kevyn, I read your question as why we dress "up" not why we dress. I think the answer is pretty simple: we dress "up" because we dressing is typically a part time thing. Given we have little time in girl mode, we aim for the ideal of "feminine" which is not jeans. Jeans are reality, not an ideal.

[ambigendrous]

My wife and I often comment about this question - we both normally wear jeans and t-shirts and when we're relaxing at home we like to get "comfortable". For her, "comfortable" means the bra comes off, and she changes into sweats and a pajama top, while for me, "comfortable" means pantyhose, bra, skirt, blouse, and heels. I often wonder why I am so much more comfortable in clothing that most women can't wait to get out of, but I gotten passed the need to justify it - it feels good and I enjoy it! And my wife enjoys my style and puts up with me so we're both happy!

[Michelle789]

I agree with Jennifer and Adriana. If you have limited girl time, say once per two weeks or month, why in the hell do you want to wear a jeans and t-shirt that you wear every day as a guy. There's fun in going all out if you're going to dress up only occasionally.

[MeganDay]

We are all the sum total of our lives. There are so many variables that go into making someone who they are that it defies rational analysis. For me, it has to do with finding the feminine within myself. For me, the "inner girl" for lack of a better term, needs expression, too. Perhaps the balance of my brain chemicals is just a little off? Perhaps I have deep psychological reasons?

It's not because my male life is inadequate or lacking. As a male, I have accomplished a lot in my life. I'm a father, grandfather, moderately successful in my work, have the respect of my peers and family. But there is a side of me, one that I feel I've been more in touch with than, perhaps, the average guy. Not knocking guys, mind you, just I'm on one of the far ends of the bell curve in that regard. Because of that comfort with my feminine side, I have the strong desire to express it. I love feeling pretty. I love the feel of girl's clothes. I love being girly. It's not something I have to do all the time, but every now and then, I feel the desire to do so.

Your mileage may vary. :)

Megan

[rian]

I think most of us ,,,really do not know why ,,,but for sure this give us a wonderful sensation and security ...we sense internally that we are women ,,,with all what it means ....SO it is a belonging ...not just wearing women dresses ...

[Katey888]

There are two main reasons why we dress - some of it is sexual, some of it is gender related, and some of it is a mild rebelliousness...

There are THREE main reasons why we dress - some of it is sexual, some of it is gender related, some of it is a mild rebelliousness, and for the calm and harmony we feel when dressed....

There are FOUR MAIN REASONS why...... :bonk:

I seriously think we should have a virtual sin bin for folk that ask this question... no offence....

Katey x

[Raychel]

Very good question, One that I ask myself sometimes,
But then I get dressed and remember why, I like it.
I like the clothes, I feel more relaxed and more myself when dressed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kevyn, For me It's just who I am and it's just what I do, It makes me very happy to get all dressed up.

[Jenny Gurl]

Because a Persons "Sex" does not determine a persons "Gender". I know people who were born the female sex that not only don't desire to be "feminine" in any way, they despise the fact that they were born expected to behave as a female. Never wore makeup, either never wore a dress or skirt or never did after they moved out of the home they were raised. I know other girls who are very feminine, and get a great joy from makeup, cloths, etc. In our society those born the female sex can do either and no one blinks, a guy dresses overly nice and all of a sudden he's on fire.

[Zylia]

Some see it as the ultimate expression of femininity of men, but I think it's actually riddled with male behaviour. There are obsessive and compulsive elements, a very clear sexual element and in many cases competitive elements to it on top of a general lack of understanding what femininity and women really are. It's a psychological condition with rather clear manifestations, but not so clear causes. Maybe it's just guys exploring unknown territory. Why do some men cross-dress while others don't? You tell me.

[Emily43]

like my other half said to me last night its like asking why people are straight or gay...they just are...ive been searching for the answer for years and ive come to the conclusion there is no answer.

[hope springs]

I am incredibly logical and male brained in my thought processes. Femming lets all that go and helps me see things in a new light. It releases me to be something my male self cannot grasp. Being femme for me is very much a state of mind and dressing helps me get there. Its been incredibly carthartic. As a new CD i can say ive been missing out. Womans clothes are so much more expressive. I find myself looking at woman's outfits before the woman in them. Then my male brain kicks back in and goes " oh yeah, she is hot too".
Its a way to stay connected to the emotional without the typical male need for control and problem solving. In femme, i simply exist instead of parsing everything

[Jaymees22]

I think we want to "dress up", so we can project our image of an idealized woman. If we dress in woman's casual clothes then we just want to feel like our true selves. Jaymee