And update to the last dramatic post

[cdkateinboston]

So I'm not well known here (I'm working on that as I can ladies I promise, I love this forum!), but I wanted to give an update to the room-mate coming back early and walking in on me dressed post I made last month. Him and I are back to being close friends, although we have not discussed the dressing at all (I know I'll be harangued by some ladies for this, but he is from Georgia and not only do we live together I work in the same lab as him, this is a difficult conversation to start, but in this regard I apologize for any girls I'm letting down given the platform). This discovery occurred right as I was applying to a business program where I'm a grad student and also while I had my phd candidacy defense. And I was accepted to the business program as well as declared a phd candidate :) I don't want this to appear as self promotion because while I'm extremely happy I've achieved those goals, I literally could not have done it without the amazing support I received in the afternoon my room mate walked in on me. You all don't even know me and you offered your support. There are not words that exist that can truly say what that meant for me let alone how important it was for me to get through that horrific event! So thank you ladies, that's my update. And I only ask that we all are so open to helping other ladies in need when they need it, no matter how far or much they dress or the gender they identify with. We are all really cool ladies :) thank you all so so very much!

[kimdl93]

I don't think you have any obligation to being the subject up again with your roommate. That's between you and him.

[cdkateinboston]

I don't think you have any obligation to being the subject up again with your roommate. That's between you and him.

Never said I had an obligation, not did I try to delve too deeply into the issue withy room mate and myself, just wanted to update those whose outpouring of support impacted me to greatly. To be blunt why is your response to my thanks so abrasive?

[Tracii G]

Katie its good to hear from you again.
Don't worry if he never speaks of it because he is probably still feeling awkward about it.He will in time ask you some things but one thing you may have changed his outlook on trans people for the better.Kudos to you for that.

[cdkateinboston]

And to be more clear, I ask that to be genuinely inquisitive, I'm still newer to the site and if this post is I'm any way offending anyone or I have no right to be posting it I would like to be made clear of those offenses

[Tracii G]

I saw nothing wrong with your post Katie.

[cdkateinboston]

I saw nothing wrong with your post Katie.

Tracii thank you for the reply, kimdl93 seemed to have a problem based on tenor of the response. But I had over 90 responses to my situation last month and since then things had turned around so I just wanted to reply to all the girls that had been so supportive, I didn't think it was a big deal, thanking others

[Tracii G]

I read it as a thank you post just as you wrote it.

[cdkateinboston]

I read it as a thank you post just as you wrote it.

Thank you cuz that's what it's meant to be and what it need to be. A huge thank you to so many amazing girls on this site! kimdl93 why were you offended?

[Julie Gaum]

My guess, knowing Kim through this Forum for years, is that her intention was merely to suggest the same thing that Tracii said, i.e., no need to bring up the subject unless, eventually, your roommate opens up with the many questions that most people have when confronted with CDing for the first time --- that's normal. Congrats on the good news re the PHD road --- in future years just graduating a college will no longer cut it in the job market, nor will a masters, so you're on your way.
Please keep us abreast to your progress for, after all, that is life's first priority (After that comes the enjoying life part.)
Best of success!
Julie

[AllieSF]

I agree with Julia. When you get dinged by someone here, right or wrong, it will be lot different from Kim's post. I am glad things are going well for you.

[lingerieLiz]

Kate don't worry about it. My roommate and friend took a while to become comfortable around me. Eventually he did and never brought it up again. I've had others who discovered my CDing and except for one accepted it was my quirk while they had others.

Do your studies and work and enjoy life. Your roommate might bring it up, he might find it interesting, he may even suggest it is ok for you to dress at home.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Katie, thank you for your update, but I have to confess I don't understand a lot of what you wrote, and I don't quite understand how you took Kim's response as abrasive? A bit terse, perhaps, but not in any way I can see abrasive.

[Lorileah]

OK Kids. stick to the OP. Yo can "talk" in PM

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I read the room mate episode and feel you had a good outcome there.
You do what you have to do to survive in this world and you are doing it all correctly.
Sometimes you may feel pangs of betrayal but you have a good future to look forward to, so do not feel guilty about feelings and probably never mention your episode with your room mate unless he happens to bring it up.

Always play it down if necessary and don't feel guilty.

[natcrys]

Congratulations on your achievements! Not only very important for possible future job hunts.. but also because it shows character! :)

As for your dramatic episode.. I'm glad it sort of worked out!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, I suspect that you will have to be the first one to bring this conversation up with your room mate.

[blue_melody]

HI Kate,

Congratulations on being advanced to Ph.D. candidate!!!! That is a tremendous accomplishment.

[reb.femme]

Hi Kate,

I think the discussion thing with the room mate is something that will happen if it needs to. As said previously, he probably still doesn't know how to approach it either. The old adage about letting sleeping dogs lie is possibly appropriate? Bright side of course is, you can't shock him any more :heehee:.

Sincere big congrats on your educational achievements, now and for the future.

Rebecca

[Katey888]

Kate - Congratz to begin with - very important progress, well done! :cheer:

No one here will harangue you over that - nothing wrong with what Rebecca says: Sleeping dogs and all that... If there is a need or a desire to talk in the future, from either of you, it will happen without any intervention from us lot! :)

Just let things settle and life go on as normal - what can be wrong with that..?

Super progress again... :cool:

Katey x

[Jenniferathome]

So Kate, I recommend reflecting on just how "hard" it is to have a conversation with a friend vs ignoring the elephant in the room. I would argue that it takes a lot more energy to bury your head then to talk. The phrase "walking on eggshells" comes to mind and THAT is a difficult thing. I would submit to you that your friend is the one walking on the eggshells now. Imagine, every time he comes home and opens a door, is he wondering "what's" behind it?

Mental energy is far more draining than any conversation can be. "Dude, let's talk about last month..." and it's over. You and he are no more embarrassed than you are now. AND, the elephant is gone.

Best of luck to you Kate