Rare opportunity

[Lexi Moralas]

Today I have a rare opportunity to go out all dressed up.
I really want to but....
I'm just not sure I should ???

[Deedee Skyblue]

There is no 'should' or 'shouldn't' involved. The questions you should be asking, you should be asking yourself. "Will I enjoy it? What are the benefits? What are the risks and consequences to me? Am I prepared to accept the consequences if the risks should materialize?"

Many people here will tell you that the risks are nil and the consequences are minimal, but only you know that about your own situation.

If you will enjoy it and you don't think it will cause problems in your life, do it...

Deedee

[Lexi Moralas]

Good advice deedee ! The risk in medium , the consequences would be huge. As much as I hate to say it I think the right thing to do is to skip it ! I think I already knew that. Thanks for helping me realize it !

[Majella St Gerard]

If you have to ask then I don't think you should, you have to be in the right frame of mind to go out dressed and if you're not sure you wont enjoy your outing. Confidence is everything.

[kimdl93]

If you want to and you have done your best to look good, then, why not? Is there anything but apprehensions holding you back?

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I'm torn Lexi, but swaying on the side of if you go out, you might need to plan to start a new life. From what you've said of your partner in another thread, she could leave if you do this.

Thing is, I would leave, too. Yep, sadly, even after my cathartic time here, my limits are still set in stone. I can't live this part of my H's life with him. And like your partner, I would also remain friends with my H if we separated and I'd be incredibly supportive of his new life. I would personally prefer this scenario than living everyday with a man who was only partly being himself. Trust me, this eats into every part of a relationship. I'm living this right now and everyday I ask this same question of my H and everyday he says things are fine as they are.

But I know one day I might just make this decision for us :(

Start thinking about what you want, okay? x

[AKADonna]

I'm with Majella on this one! If you have to think about it, you are likely not ready. On the other hand, when those feminine urges have taken over and fully rationalize how much you will enjoy the day en femme, then any potential risks ar easily overlooked.

You will know when you are ready! At least that's the way it worked for me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lexi, Don't do something that could hurt your family.

[Beverley Sims]

Lexi,
If you feel uncomfortable, wait till next time.

Why destroy your future when you can bide your time.

There are interpersonal problems to sort out and they can be biggies.

I suggest go out into the middle of the Arizona dessert amongst the Gila monsters, rattlesnakes and giant ants and spiders.

They wont care and no one else is there.

You can sing in your loudest voice "and no one will hear you". :)

[Chickhe]

Follow your gut. Sometimes there are other priorities, just take care to face your fears before they limit who you are.

[Wildaboutheels]

Going "OUT" dressed does NOT make one a "better" CDer or a "more authentic" one.

It's so very obvious that "many" CDers eventually go out "dressed" in an attempt to help alleviate the guilt and shame they feel for visits to O land. This is an entirely natural brain process for a Human, just one of many our brains do all the time to protect us from ourselves.

[Debra Russell]

Ask yourself why not --- if you have reasons not to that really bother you - than don't - other wise "why not"...............................Debra

[Shelly Preston]

There are all sorts of things to take into consideration when deciding if you are going out.

Why do you want to do it.
It maybe you just want to experience being outside. for others it about being normal.
Where are you going to go.
Will you feel safe.

This is before you even consider if you actions impact on someone else.

You can only take that step when you are ready not before.

Some start with little things like out in the garden. A drive in the car. A walk in a park (daylight is safer)

[Lexi Moralas]

Thanks for all the great advice girls

[Farrah]

Just be sure you're 100% ready. I did it before I was ready and it was a disaster! I'm planning another out, with PLANNING being the operative word. Good luck in whatever you do! I'll be rooting for ya! :)

[Samantha Clark]

Just be sure you're 100% ready. I did it before I was ready and it was a disaster! I'm planning another out, with PLANNING being the operative word. Good luck in whatever you do! I'll be rooting for ya! :)

I don't want to put you on the spot, but is there anything we could learn, like lessons learned, from your disaster? If you don't want to share I understand.

[Farrah]

Oh no problem. I simply didn't plan. I had the clothes, and that was about it. I had a cheap wig, my shoes were too big, I hadn't perfected my makeup, I didn't practice walking, or mannerisms. People were staring at me. No one laughed, at least not in my face, but I could tell that they thought I was weird. I just felt awkward the whole time. It was nothing like how I imagined it! The list could go on. Planning and preparation is KEY!

[Samantha Clark]

@Farrah: Ok thanks for the share. So the lesson is prepare to make ones self less readable. Maybe more confident, too?

[Farrah]

@Farrah: Ok thanks for the share. So the lesson is prepare to make ones self less readable. Maybe more confident, too?
Yeah, from my experience. I'm not going to say that's all you need, but I'm sure it will only help. You are very welcome. That's why we're here--to help one another.:hugs:

[Adriana Moretti]

omg Lexi REALLY???? We have been chatty cathys...and I KNOW your scenario...I also know you are dying to dress but supress the heck out of it for family reasons...something tells me eventually your gunna stick your toes back in the water...and for those that dont know..Lexi used to go out all the time and is quite capable of handeling herself out there in the real world. It goes a bit deeper than that. xoxo Lexi...you do you. Whatever choice you make...

[Thom2332]

I would say to make sure you are comfortable before doing it. Confidence is very important, people will be able to see if you have it or not. I know another cd'er who goes out dressed for walks at night when the risk of being seen by neighbors is low. I thought this was a pretty good idea and a good way to start to build up confidence for going out in public.