A crazy idea...

[samantha rogers]

Alright, Sammie was thinking again...always a scary situation. LOL. But here goes..

A friend of mine posted a question on another board asking about our greatest fear. It got me thinking that of all the myriad small fears we all face (and hopefully overcome), that one large overarching fear strikes at perhaps most of us...and that is the fear of alienating our loved ones and spending our older years lonely, and miserable, quite unable to find an accepting and loving mate and living in solitude. Is that a fair or in any way accurate appraisal? Speaking personally, I can say quite honestly that a part of the fear involved when I imagine my wife ever leaving me due to my dressing, and other GID related issues, is the fear of never again finding someone else who would love me and support me, and share my life with me as I age. Anyone else feel the same?

So, here is my crazy idea.

If there existed a senior home for Trangendered people, would it be a good thing? I am envisioning a place specifically designed for the needs of those who either CD or are TS but who find themselves reaching their golden years with no one in the way of family or loved ones to support them and who might find solace in the company of other aging "girls" who "get it".

Is this a good idea or a stupid one? Comments welcome. You won't hurt my feelings, honest. Just sky writing a little this morning...tee hee.

[Madilyn A.]

Samantha, Such a great idea. To be surrounded by like individuals when no family or close friends were left would be a wonderful and very human way to live out the golden years. Keep those great ideas coming, maybe something like this could really happen....Have a wonderful Sunday.

[rocketscientist]

I'm not so sure that it's a crazy idea at all Sammie. On the other hand I'm not so sure it would be needed. I would think that by that advanced age that most people would finally be comfortable with persons with a lifestyle different from their own.

[Connief]

I don't think your idea is crazy at all. I am one who is going thru your greatest fear. My ex left me in part of being CD after 26 years, knowning before we married. It's been 10 years now and every woman I have wanted to have a relationship with has left as soon as she found out. Finally accepted the fact that at 57, its not going to get any better. So yeah, your "crazy idea" doesn't sound so bad at all :)

[Kevyn53]

They just built one in Minneapolis.

[bridget thronton]

I hope I find such a place when the need arises

[Alice Torn]

Like Connief, I am living it . Just turned 60, no girlfriend for many, many years, not gay, never had a wife or kids. Helping take care of my 93 yer old bigoted, selfish, mean father. Brother is a loner too, at 63, and a nazi. Older sister is a loner, with severe speech problems, 65, never had a boyfriend or husband. I think your idea has merit. I also think, that when a person is disabled, and has to go to a home, dressing up will be a non issue, as one may be physically or mentally disabled too much, to do any dress up. It is so ironic, and sad, that the world population has never been larger, so many people, and yet, so many alone, and lonely, and unable to find someone.

[sometimes_miss]

It is so ironic, and sad, that the world population has never been larger, so many people, and yet, so many alone, and lonely, and unable to find someone.
However, the reality is that we CAN find mates, we just don't want what we find. As we get older, most of us become less and less tolerant of other people's peculiarities. I've been alone now about 15 years, and every time I feel lonely, I do my best to remember all the batshit crazy women I've met in my life (and there have been thousands of them, I meet more of these nut cases every day), who, no matter HOW lonely I feel, I would NEVER want to share any time with. Then I feel better.

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes Miss, Sad but true. Lately, the only women that seem interested in my friendship, are ones IN the NURSING HOME, where my dad is for a few more days! They actually want my friendship there! I had an uncle that never married, and found friends in the nursing home. A nursing home for TG CD would certainly be an interesting undertaking! Some would still be dressing up some, and some would be too disabled to.

[Katey888]

They just built one in Minneapolis.

It's true! A quick search brought up this recent news from the Beeb: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26554710

Sammie - not a stupid idea at all, but you seem behind the curve to be the first, although perhaps the time to invest is right... ;)

:cool:

Katey x

[samantha rogers]

Drat, Katey...giggle...story of my life... a day late and a dollar short...LOL

Still, maybe the world needs more than one? Hmmm...where to find investors...?

Hugs

[Jaylyn]

I really imagine that by the time I am ready for the home ( my kids might think I'm ready now) that I won't remember wether I'm dressed or not. This is just looking at all my ancestors and family members from their history. I am near the age of 65 and these and many other thoughts similar to this starts to creeping in. One of my daughters has already mentioned to me that I had better be nice now because remember she gets to pick my nursing home..... Lol she was just teasing. I mean how important will it be in a home as to the kind of depends we are wearing?????

[kimdl93]

I don't want to live in a segregated community of any kind. I would prefer to end my years out in real life, not a seniors kennel.

[samantha rogers]

Sure, Kim, and I feel the same. But I was thinking more of those without the means, either emotionally or financially, to do so.
There are, I expect, a fair number of souls ill equipt for solo life in their senior years, wouldn't you think?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Samantha, I can just envision a bunch of old CD's wearing support hose and orthopedic shoes.

We just passed our 50th anniversary so far @71 I'm not living alone.

[Cheryl T]

Sounds like the basis for a business model.

[Kate Simmons]

My only question is how would you fund such a thing and keep it afloat? :)

[samantha rogers]

Kate I am guessing it would work the same way any Senior Home facility works. I am not sure how they are paid for, but there must be a model.
The article about the one in Minnesota and others like that stated that while they advertised the facility to the LGBT community, they were forced to take other applicants as well in order to qualify for subsidies and meet non discrimination regulations.

[Jolene Robertson]

I was in a nursing home earlier this year where my mother-in law was at and there was a CD in there. I talked to him and he was cool and nobody gave him any grief, in fact most didn’t even know he was not a GG. So maybe it’s ok, a lot of people in those homes don’t have all their thought processes working anyway.

Just a thought.

[GretchenJ]

Hey Sammie,

Although you are not the first to come up with it, it still is a great idea.

The concept of having like minded people living together with no fear or anxiety is a rather appealing concept

Gretch

[Kevyn53]

http://www.mprnews.org/story/2013/09/24/spirit-on-lake-lgbt-seniors

[noeleena]

Hi,
....WOW....

sometimes_miss.

Heck you wont wont to meet me then whats this..... batshit nutcase and crazzy, peculiar,
not to mention weird insane woman, Hmmmm..........oh wow....i may just be one of those whom you speak of. id better watch what i say then had i not.

........Gee i did not know we were all like this , what have i done oh heck looks like i may have to go back inside ....again. oh dear'e me... and after all this time i thought i was , well...ummm...sort of ...er...umm okay....

seems not.

i do have a ? though ..... are you one of us.....


...noeleena...

[Marcelle]

Hi Sammie,

With the baby boomers fast reaching epic proportions and getting ready to transition into care facilities . . . sounds like a money maker. You could have seminars ("how to dress classy and look good at the bingo table" :))

Hugs

Isha

[Ressie]

Being alone isn't always that terrible. But being alone unable to take care of yourself doesn't work.

It's a good idea to me, but there are things to consider. Women out number men by quite a bit in the nursing homes I've been to. But aren't there more TG men? Would this facility be for both men and women?

Getting the word out. A specialized facility like this would have to attract residents from more than a local area it seems.

[Sarasometimes]

Rocket...I'm guessing you don't frequent nursing homes and the like. You want to see brunt, highly opinionated and unyeilding types stop in some time. Mellowing with age is for wine not most humans from my experiences. I think it might work more along the lines of having a portion dedicated to particular groups who may wish to be seperate. GLBT could be an example.
Sam you do bring up an interesting question. Would we be able to crossdress if we were in a mainstream assisted living/nursing home? I wonder.

[5150 Girl]

Good idea pending location..... If there's enough people in the aria to support it "if you build it, they will come"
New York, LA yea, maybe... Out int the middle of BFE Redneckville, forget about it

[ClaraKay]

I'm chiming in rather late here. I had to let your interesting idea, Sammie, simmer in my brain for a day. You know me...LOL!

Having an 88 year old mother myself, and dealing with late-in-life living and caring arrangements, I can see the possible complications for transwomen and crossdressing men in their twilight years. There are three basic phases that oldsters go through depending on their ability to care for themselves. They break down into (1) independent living, (2) assisted-living, and (3) nursing home. Each phase would present its own challenges for the TG/TS/CD person. I would guess that the independent living stage would be the easiest to handle, and where your idea of an LGBT friendly facility makes the most sense, but I'm not sure how much demand there would be for such a place. Most LGBT people are indistinguishable from straight and cis people, so fitting into a diverse residency shouldn't be a problem, especially as societal tolerance gains ground. Crossdressers are more likely to experience prejudice which could lead to the isolation and loneliness you alluded to unless they keep their dressing entirely hidden. Your idea seems most appropriate for these folks. In the second stage, assisted-living, there's more potential for problems since staff people get involved in so many ways which makes one's life style an open book. But, decent assisted living facilities are fairly expensive, and those specializing in care for LGBT would likely be even more so, I would imagine. There certainly are plenty of such folks that can afford a unique living environment like that, but my sense is that many more would not have the income to afford that kind of care. Where does that leave them? I've also found that oldsters tend to get very set in their ways and don't tend to move to distant locations where these kinds of homes would be built. Another consideration : At what point does one's sexual orientation and gender identity even factor into the kind of care or social environment provided? The final stage is the one that is most troubling for every senior citizen. Somehow I can't imagine it making a bit of difference what your gender or sexual orientation is, or was, once you've reached the nursing home stage.

Just my 2 cents. Thanks for jostling my brain cells. Keeps me young...hee hee!

[Heather-Hill]

Sammie, it's a cracking idea and would certainly solve many issues for aged CD'ers. Where do I sign up :)

Love to you

Heather X

[VickieBonne]

I like it but hope it's 40 or so years before I need it. :)