Yesterday had me feeling left behind

[DeeDee1974]

Is Mother's Day a tough day for anyone else?

My mother passed away 2 years ago and I do not have any children. This year is different than other years because 2 of my closest friends are pregnant and by the end of next month will both be new mothers. That will mean in my group of friends only one other woman will have no children.

I am really happy for my friends, but selfishly worry that it will leave me left out when they all get together as families. I did leave myself the option of becoming a parent before I started transition, but since then I really can't imagine having a romantic relationship with a woman. I know my childless friend would be willing to attempt pregnancy with me, but I just don't know how that would work in reality.

This might all sound like nonsense but I needed to vent a little.

[mikiSJ]

Don't beat yourself up over the holiday(s). At some point everyone's mother dies, hopefully before you and you need something to celebrate her life with you. If you have a picture of her somewhere, put it up at least for the day, sit back with a glass of wine and tell her what has happened to you since her death, and how her teachings gave you the strength and wisdom to become you.

It is not necessary to believe in an afterlife, just the thought that you can have this conversation is what counts.

[kimdl93]

No reason to assume anything. There may be indeed some women who would welcome a relationship with you and co parent I'df you are interested. Never say never.

[Rogina B]

Like Kim..Never say never and it is a great thing that you "banked some" just in case. You wouldn't be the first girl that wanted to "make a kid" with another.

[Michelle789]

You can always adopt :)

[I Am Paula]

I found that hormones have made me baby crazy. I look in every baby carriage and talk with every Mom. If I feel a tinge of jealousy over not being able to have my own, I just remind myself that they turn into teenagers.

[kimdl93]

I I've babies and toddlers. But caring for my grandkids has reminded me that parenting is for young people! Wow, they can be exhausting.

Still, I feel a little twinge of sadness as they grow out of those early childhood years.

[Annaliese]

It makes sense, this is just one of many you will have to deal with, my prays are with you.

[Dianne S]

I just remind myself that they turn into teenagers.

I love kids. I have three myself, two of whom are teenagers, and they are awesome... the stereotype of the sullen teenager is just that: A stereotype.

I often wish I had started transitioning earlier, but if anything allays my regrets, it's that I have three wonderful children. For me, that makes up for any lost time.

[I Am Paula]

Dianne S- I work in a high school, with wonderful teenagers who I am glad are the future of our country. The teen reference was tongue in cheek, but when I get home, I'm glad they're not mine, I'm to old for that!

[mikiSJ]

I want every kid I meet to be cute, adorable, quiet, smiling AND older than a month so they are passed the colic stage and under 9 months so they still accept strangers holding them.

Sorry, I have done the parenting thing, apparently well, and I am on the new things.

[DeeDee1974]

Thanks everyone for your responses. Like my original post said, I have a female friend who would be game to go through pregnancy and co parent with me. I just have to think of all the different scenarios and is it realistic. Biggest thing is we both are into men. So we would not be a romantic couple. Then custody becomes an issue. There's a lot more to think about than just having a kid. But in recent weeks she has brought it up a couple times.

[celeste26]

Co-parenting sounds like some fantasy. But with real kids come real responsibility and I would not get into any such relationship without serious counseling. Just imagine a future for that child when asked who the father is. Just how involved in this kid's life are you willing to go, and for their whole life?

Sure I can see the world around you filled with kids, each with their own parents. But you can get over this temporary feeling of need. Adults don't need kids, kids need parents, it aint the same thing. If you are not a whole person without a child then that is your issue to deal with get counseling.

[Dianne S]

I have a female friend who would be game to go through pregnancy and co parent with me.

You need to think seriously about this. Becoming a parent involves a commitment of at least 18 years. It involves huge financial commitment, enormous emotional commitment and (at least in the beginning) unbelievably tiring physical work. You also lose a lot of the ability to do your own thing... your child has to be taken here and there as he/she participates in various activities. You'll also have moments when your nerves are so frayed that you almost want to throw the kid out of the window to get some peace.

However, if you think you can make a positive difference in the life of a child, that you can provide love and support for a new human being and that you are not afraid of all the work and emotional commitment, then being a parent is one of the most rewarding things in the world.