cassandra54
05-13-2014, 11:37 AM
I joined this group several years ago. I dressed on an off most of my life. Mostly off. My older sisters used to dress me up when I was small. I was always fascinated/intrigued with the whole idea. I've also had experiences with men, so that would make me bisexual, although there won't be any in the foreseeable future for me. Here's the reason I joined this group.
My girlfriend of 12 years had some books on dominance and submission when I met her. Our sex life was pretty much non-existent. She basically had no sexual response at all and while I tried to help her, nothing and I mean nothing worked. I remembered about the books and glanced at a few. I presented her with the idea of me "dressing" in the bedroom, while we played. She agreed, but it really didn't work. What did happen thought was that I started to think about how I would like to dress out of the bedroom. So fast-forward about 6 years and I have a wardrobe that some women would be envious of.
But the reason I joined this group was because we were discussing the idea of us going out in public. I thought I could find places on this website. And while I got some ideas, I got a lot more information. For a while, I thought I might be transgendered. I decided I was androgynous. I read lots of post about issues people had and I really felt a lot of empathy. A lot of people who post on here are going through some really difficult times. While my girlfriend said she didn't like my dressing, she would give me things like jewelry and makeup. We shopped for clothes together. And in a lot of ways, she taught me how to dress and act like a lady. I remember watching her get dressed in the morning and thinking how cool was that. Matching panties and bras, different kinds. That was kind of different, since I worked in construction and lived in a man's world.
We also had an open relationship as well. While I was interested in playing with a couple or another man, it just never happened. A lot of people are not so open minded. I had to give that up since she was very ill and passed away in January. While I am saddened by her loss, she is in a better place. Our relationship was based on the fact that we both had some serious issues. I tried to help her with hers, but never had much success. One of the most incredible things though was that I was able to work through mine. But here is the most amazing part.
After her passing, I was a alone, semi-retired and had the ability to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was like being reborn. I stared my life on a clean, yes perfectly clean slate. I could dress all day and night, but whatever I wanted to wear, post ads on Craigslist and in general have just a great life. Yes I did feel guilty sometimes that someone had to die in order for me to get here. So what have I learned?
1. I'm very protective about what I have. I've decided not to play with members of the same sex. While the idea of me hosting in what was now my home while I was Cassandra was very enticing, I realized that most men are not trustworthy or open minded. I had one partner back in October at his hotel, but really I've done it enough for this lifetime. I'm not going to hold out hope that this will ever happen again.
2. I realized that I am who I am no matter what I'm wearing. While it was a sick and possibly abusive relationship, I acquired an interesting skill set. I was her caregiver for a long time and in many ways, just from being around her, I learned a lot of the ways women think and act. I've always been self-sufficient, domesticated even before I met her. But yet I do many things as a man and I enjoy that part of my life as well. I have self-employment and creative activities that keep me very busy.
3. I'm in a place financially where I could have all the surgery I wanted to and live life full-time as a woman. There is only one set of circumstances that I would consider this and that is if they found a way to transplant a woman's "bottom end" into a man, so basically you would be the same as a woman physically. While some may disagree with what I am about to say, that's okay. Unless I could, as I mentioned have real female parts, I'm not interested.
4. This is why I dress. It's fun . If I have time to look and act like a lady. Fine. I love the fit, feel and texture of women's clothes. I love arranging outfits, putting on makeup whenever I have the time or inclination. But I don't feel a compulsion, or urges or feel like I'm going to fall apart if I don't I don't under dress. And if I do, it's all or nothing, be it shorts and a top or a dress and hose. I don't believe I am a "woman trapped in a man's body" transgendered, crossdresser, gender-fluid or any of those terms. This is something to really consider. Maybe it's just fun and there's no other reason.
5. I've learned that honest is important above anything else. Being honest with yourself and honest with others. I decided that when I started dating again, I was not going to stop dressing or hide it. I am who I am. I have met a new woman. We are falling in love and it's just incredible. And yes I did tell her about my other half. I waited a couple of weeks until I got to know her and see that the relationship was going to progress. When I realized that we were starting to fall in love. I told her. Even though she is somewhat conservative, I think she is glad that I am honest with her.
6. I'm not bragging, but through all of this, I've gotten to be a pretty exceptional person. I think that is why the new love of my life is attracted to me. I'm thankful for all I've learned about myself and what I've learned from here and everything else in life. Dressing up didn't necessarily make me a better person, but self-examination, soul searching, making the best of bad things in life, gratitude and a whole lot of other things did. I would say to thine own self me true. I hope this helps some of you.
Cassie
My girlfriend of 12 years had some books on dominance and submission when I met her. Our sex life was pretty much non-existent. She basically had no sexual response at all and while I tried to help her, nothing and I mean nothing worked. I remembered about the books and glanced at a few. I presented her with the idea of me "dressing" in the bedroom, while we played. She agreed, but it really didn't work. What did happen thought was that I started to think about how I would like to dress out of the bedroom. So fast-forward about 6 years and I have a wardrobe that some women would be envious of.
But the reason I joined this group was because we were discussing the idea of us going out in public. I thought I could find places on this website. And while I got some ideas, I got a lot more information. For a while, I thought I might be transgendered. I decided I was androgynous. I read lots of post about issues people had and I really felt a lot of empathy. A lot of people who post on here are going through some really difficult times. While my girlfriend said she didn't like my dressing, she would give me things like jewelry and makeup. We shopped for clothes together. And in a lot of ways, she taught me how to dress and act like a lady. I remember watching her get dressed in the morning and thinking how cool was that. Matching panties and bras, different kinds. That was kind of different, since I worked in construction and lived in a man's world.
We also had an open relationship as well. While I was interested in playing with a couple or another man, it just never happened. A lot of people are not so open minded. I had to give that up since she was very ill and passed away in January. While I am saddened by her loss, she is in a better place. Our relationship was based on the fact that we both had some serious issues. I tried to help her with hers, but never had much success. One of the most incredible things though was that I was able to work through mine. But here is the most amazing part.
After her passing, I was a alone, semi-retired and had the ability to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was like being reborn. I stared my life on a clean, yes perfectly clean slate. I could dress all day and night, but whatever I wanted to wear, post ads on Craigslist and in general have just a great life. Yes I did feel guilty sometimes that someone had to die in order for me to get here. So what have I learned?
1. I'm very protective about what I have. I've decided not to play with members of the same sex. While the idea of me hosting in what was now my home while I was Cassandra was very enticing, I realized that most men are not trustworthy or open minded. I had one partner back in October at his hotel, but really I've done it enough for this lifetime. I'm not going to hold out hope that this will ever happen again.
2. I realized that I am who I am no matter what I'm wearing. While it was a sick and possibly abusive relationship, I acquired an interesting skill set. I was her caregiver for a long time and in many ways, just from being around her, I learned a lot of the ways women think and act. I've always been self-sufficient, domesticated even before I met her. But yet I do many things as a man and I enjoy that part of my life as well. I have self-employment and creative activities that keep me very busy.
3. I'm in a place financially where I could have all the surgery I wanted to and live life full-time as a woman. There is only one set of circumstances that I would consider this and that is if they found a way to transplant a woman's "bottom end" into a man, so basically you would be the same as a woman physically. While some may disagree with what I am about to say, that's okay. Unless I could, as I mentioned have real female parts, I'm not interested.
4. This is why I dress. It's fun . If I have time to look and act like a lady. Fine. I love the fit, feel and texture of women's clothes. I love arranging outfits, putting on makeup whenever I have the time or inclination. But I don't feel a compulsion, or urges or feel like I'm going to fall apart if I don't I don't under dress. And if I do, it's all or nothing, be it shorts and a top or a dress and hose. I don't believe I am a "woman trapped in a man's body" transgendered, crossdresser, gender-fluid or any of those terms. This is something to really consider. Maybe it's just fun and there's no other reason.
5. I've learned that honest is important above anything else. Being honest with yourself and honest with others. I decided that when I started dating again, I was not going to stop dressing or hide it. I am who I am. I have met a new woman. We are falling in love and it's just incredible. And yes I did tell her about my other half. I waited a couple of weeks until I got to know her and see that the relationship was going to progress. When I realized that we were starting to fall in love. I told her. Even though she is somewhat conservative, I think she is glad that I am honest with her.
6. I'm not bragging, but through all of this, I've gotten to be a pretty exceptional person. I think that is why the new love of my life is attracted to me. I'm thankful for all I've learned about myself and what I've learned from here and everything else in life. Dressing up didn't necessarily make me a better person, but self-examination, soul searching, making the best of bad things in life, gratitude and a whole lot of other things did. I would say to thine own self me true. I hope this helps some of you.
Cassie