Just outed myself with my computer screen, to my landlord!!

[Alice Torn]

Today, is the day, the county and landlord come by to inspect my place. The landlord came early, and i had my back to my computer screen, and it was a map quest site. I sat down, with my back to the screen, and he was standing looking right at me, and of course the screen was visible . After several minutes, i just glanced away from him, and noticed it was on the mode where it keeps displaying phot files , each for about 5 seconds. So, he saw many of my photos, laarge scree, some in bra and girdles, heels, some nice leg shots, some cole up face ones. The one i noticed was a very short, little black dress. I proceeded to shut off the monitor, and pretended nothing was odd. We continued to talk , and i tried to keep the subjest on other stuff, but know he was watching the monitor, as no way could he ignore it. I think he is pretty religious. So far, it is just me being embarrased, and i think it will be ok. Hopefully, he did not get aroused by the photos. And i better just forget about it, and be more aware , to shut off my monitor, when someone shows up.

[ClaraKay]

You know, Alice, I think eventually something like this happens to all of us. It can be very embarrassing when it happens, and maybe damaging depending on circumstances, but those are the risks we take. When it comes right down to it, everyone has their secret lives, and most are not all that concerned to find out about ours. The challenge is to try not be that concerned about what others think, be yourself, and have fun. You're not hurting anyone, and you're not doing anything illegal. My advice is to laugh it off. Hugs, honey.

[Zylia]

I mean no offence, but you really are the queen of accidental outings, aren't you? :D Recommending to be a bit more careful in the future is kind of moot by now, but I wholly agree with Clara's post.

I would also recommend anyone not to use that particular screensaver, or at least exclude the particular folder with that particular kind of photos.

[~Joanne~]

I am wondering if you don't intentionally do all of these things at this point. First the pen drive at the library and now this. Which makes me wonder why you were using a PC at the library when you have a laptop at home apparently. Things aren't adding up. Just sayin......

[PaulaQ]

Honey, this is about the fourth time you've done something like this. I'm with Joanne - I think you are subconsciously doing this because part of you wants to be out.

[celeste26]

Sorry, not outed unless someone says something. Who knows what the Landlord was thinking and even IF he saw some of the pictures he might not make the connection with you. It might have been just about anything. Unless he says something don't volunteer.

Of course if you tell people yourself then there is no secrecy no outing by accident.

[kendra_gurl]

Sometimes we have to take responsibility for our actions and then say WTF was I thinking. Pink Fog is one thing but just because you get away with anything for months or even years does not mean you didn't know better when you finally do get caught.

[Tina_gm]

For a reason such as a computer image, is why I decided it would be better to tell my wife before I really started to explore dressing and my feminine side. I knew then, that somehow down the road, something will happen that would make her discover it, and it was better I told her than have her discover it.

[arbon]

. Hopefully, he did not get aroused by the photos.


Is that a real concern or are you just kidding?

[CynthiaD]

Next time wear a dress. Then you won't have to worry about being outed. :)

Seriously though, are you sure you don't want everyone to know? That's a place you may well get to, if you're not there already.

[Beverley Sims]

My images on the computer are kept minimalist and certainly don't reveal identity.

I have CD's put away for any considered nefarious activity.

[Momarie]

As a Landlord, as long as you pay your rent on time and don't tear up the place, who cares?

[Charla McBee]

If it doesn't come up, don't worry about it. People are far less observant than we think they are and even if they do see something, most aren't going to mention it. Chances are this never comes up again.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have to wonder, why would you use a computer at the library with a thumb drive full of pictures of yourself when you have a computer at home? A public computer is highly "unsanitary" when dealing with any kind of private information, much like using a public toothbrush or public panties.

As far as your landlord, if you are receiving some form of rent assistance from the state, he'd be an absolute fool to evict you. It is guaranteed, always on time monthly income for him (especially if they pay your whole rent.) If you are not trashing the place and not causing him trouble, he won't care; religious or not, he is a businessman and he'll put money first, I guarantee it.

[CrossJess]

Like someone else said about being a landlord im also too, if the rent is being paid and thier not trashing the place and not breaching the terms of thier lease then what they get upto in thier home is none of my business though if id saw that i would be sitting down for a coffee talking girls talk knowing me lol sadly my dress code is a dead give away cd haha

[KaceyR]

I may be wrong.. but I think Alice's issue is the lack of home internet. Having to go to library for net access..not that she doesn't have own laptop.
She'll probably confirm later (when at the library :)).
On that note.. I about did the similar thing at work.
I had a facebook CD group's page up on the laptop with a slightly more questionable posed CDer pic up and forgot about it.
And the other coworker on my shift walked up before I knew it. Didn't say a thing but... :)
(technically I think he suspects my other self anyways but... )

[Katey888]

I have CD's put away for any considered nefarious activity.

Am I interpreting this correctly... :eek:

You make it sound like you're a Magistrate or something...

I suppose it's all in the inflexion or tone... :)

Katey x

[kimdl93]

Honey, this is about the fourth time you've done something like this. I'm with Joanne - I think you are subconsciously doing this because part of you wants to be out.

Several have observed this pattern in your recent posts. Not washing off makeup, having a 'fem' answering machine message, pictures left on a jump drive at the library, and a screen saver of your personal pics....all in a matter of a few months. Queen of accidental outings indeed.

It might be time to ask yourself if you're consciously or subconsciously trying to out yourself by these 'accidents'. And are your motivations for doing this for a constructive or self destructive. Seriously, think about this.

[Kate Simmons]

Well you evidently have no idea what the landlord's fantasies may be, just be careful. Other than that as long as you are a model tenant and pay your rent on time you should be fine Hon.:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allice, The world of computers is out to get you.

[PretzelGirl]

I agree. Alice is out to get Alice. It is okay. But don't wish for anything you can't handle.

[LittleMissJoanna]

Oops! I did that to my flatmates a couple of years ago, I was dressing up and doing my make up, I thought they were asleep, I went about my business like nothing odd was going on, then after I approved of my look in the bathroom's mirror I decided to take it outside and right as I exit the bathroom and make my way down the stairs I hear a door, I then run but opposite me is a very highly reflective window and I could see my flatmate and unless he was temporarily blind he must have seen me too, anyways, I keep on running down the stairs, I even lost a heel that night as I missed a step and kept on going anyway to scared to get caught. They never mentioned anything to me though. A few weeks later, same thing happens, I head out they are not yet in bed, and we catch a glimpse of each other, ugh-awkward!!! But I'm grateful they never mentioned it anyway! I wish I lived alone, it would be so much easier and more comfortable, and I would count one more pair of heels today!! ;)
Joanna

[Alice Torn]

I was going to the library because i could not afford home internet, and this record cold winter caused record high heat bills, and the government is closing 15 coal powered power plants a month, power bills will skyrocket more. I did get home internet for a few months with a lower price, and may keep it for the warmer months, if the air conditioning is not needed too much. I am having increasing memory loss, everyday. My mom died of Alzheimers, and her brothers and sisters had it. I have read that it does ofter run in families. I do not want to be "caught". I had to drive upt to Milwaukee yesterday, help my sister pack boxes, go up and down the stairs countless times with heavy items, pack two vans, then drive one of them foloowing my handicapped sister 120 miles through dangerous powerful storms, and go to my dad's lpace where she moved, then drive back to my place in a storm, found the power out, not get much sleep, go to the nursing home in the morning, help get my 93 yo dad loaded intoa van, so he could move back home, then finish cleaning my apartment, and meet my landlord, and county inpecter for inspection of my place. I simply was tired, and worn out, and forgot about the screen saver. I forgot i even had the computer on! Cut me some slack some of you!!

To tell the truth, i am not much concerned what the landlord thinks. Just sharing what happened.

[Tracii G]

Probably won't be an issue Alice.
Don't worry about it.

[Megan Thomas]

I mean no offence, but you really are the queen of accidental outings, aren't you?


I am wondering if you don't intentionally do all of these things at this point.


Honey, this is about the fourth time you've done something like this. I'm with Joanne - I think you are subconsciously doing this because part of you wants to be out.


Several have observed this pattern in your recent posts. Queen of accidental outings indeed.


Cut me some slack some of you!!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has been thinking this too. It's not been just the recently mentioned incidents but a few more I can't recall the exact details of now. There's certainly been a very clear pattern of posts by Alice of this nature, of an increasing frequency too if I'm not mistaken.

Alice, it's not a matter of cutting some slack. You are who you are and that's all there is to it. There's nothing wrong with what you do, intentionally or accidentally. However, I think Paula makes a good point and you would be well advised to think about these incidents and if they are a subconscious attempt to out yourself. If they are truly down to innocent circumstances then you ought to consider their implications if they are escalated by the other party. Your life is already obviously full of hardships and difficulties, do you want to add to them?

Those of us who are "out" have had to take real ownership of all the issues that brings, be that loss of friends, family, homes, jobs, discrimination, abuse, etc. We had to stand up and be counted no matter what. Some have it easy, some have it hard, but all of us had the strength to face any adversity being out brought our way. Are you ready to do the same? If you're not then it's time to put practical measures into place to ensure such incidents can't happen in future. It's your life, your choice hon...

[Sara Jessica]

Beautifully said Megan.

[Alice Torn]

I am not worried much. Fter all the stuff i have been through, including the suicide of my first ladyfriend, I am not worried. Someone knows everything about us, anyway. I don't own a laptop. I am just scatterbrained. I think about international things, national, local, and so much stuff, that i forget the mundane, litle details , and forget stuff a lot. Maybe early Alzheimers. It does start a lot younger than anyone, but a few experts realize. We only say a person has it, after it is well underway, just like cancer. It may have strted years ago, but we don't know, until it is well along. The past five yeas have been all stress, for my family of origin, now including my sister. I tend to bear all, and wear my heart on my sleeve, and admit my faults a lot. There has never been a more complicated, stressful time, short of war. The best of times, and the worst of times.

[Megan Thomas]

Firstly, can I thank those who have complimented me on my previous post (here and in PM). I appreciate your kind words of approval.

Alice,

You obviously know your own situation better than anyone else. With all the stress already going on in your life the simple question is do you need to add to it, be that through a medical condition or for any other reason? It's all very well to say you don't worry much, reciting past tragedies by way of some benchmark, but you will worry should anything else adds to your stress. If being a "scatterbrain" contributes in some negative way, find a way to counter it such as using a memo pad. Own the problem or it will own you...

[GenieGirl]

Well that's embarrassing lol. Wondering if my landlord will ever pop up like that out of the blue while in femme, but I doubt so. I don't think she would really care. Might be a bit surprised since she knows I'm quite the handy man around the house always fixing stuff. She really likes us staying here and hopes we never move haha so I'm sure it wouldn't bother her as I'm sure your landlord probably doesn't care that much either. Its hard to find good Tennant's so its always better to keep them and keep them happy :)

[Alice Torn]

Megan, There is merit to your posts. I am not at all worried about any of the "outeds" now. Life is going fast. Who cares! I don't. Sometimes, I am just plain lonesome, and like to thread, when something happens, to see what others say. Life is damned lonely, single all my life. My cats are my family. Just like to share when an oddity, or mess up happens.

[abby054]

One of my college professors told me that my own absent-mindedness comes from putting too much into my head and it starts to leak out. I almost was outed to my landlord when I attended a music recital en femme. He is one of those "low hover" landlords; When a pipe burst last winter, he knew about it before I did. He is religious and from Texas. Anyway, I arrived at this recital early. He arrived just as things started and sat in the row behind me, two seats to my left, with his wife. Each of them is more outspoken than the other. The recital went well. He gave no indication that he recognized me, neither on the spot or ever since. Neither did his wife. If anyone would be inclined to say anything about this or anything else, it would be them. I take good care of his property and my rent comes to him by payroll deduction, so he is happy. I wouldn't worry about your landlord, as long as you take care of his property and pay the rent on time.

[Alice Torn]

Abby, Wow! I would have been a "little" nervous, if my landlord and his wif were sitting behind me at a concert! Was is a classical, or childrens' type recital! I hope to go to a few symphonies this summer, one free one in the park at least, and a number of weekly free city band in the park concerts this summer. It is 35 miles away though, tough to afford the gas. My landlord is an older man, religious, too, but i am not worried. I have been here 4 years.

[abby054]

Yes, I was quite nervous. I even hung around after the recital just to be sure he had left and would not recognize me by my car. Nothing more came of the encounter. The concert was a classical one given by a professional from a local university. I was even more nervous because it became clear during intermission that the performer came from a large family, many of whom occupied the row immediately in front of me and all of the row that I sat in. Nonetheless, I go often to performances en femme: theatre, classical music, lectures, etc. The crowd is a genteel lot. I pay close attention to dressing to blend in. I avoid things that would attract children with parents. I tried that long ago. One of the mothers read me and gave me icy stares the whole performance. That is the worst that I have ever encountered, even in my city, one that takes a beating on this forum: Colorado Springs.

[Marcelle]

Hi Alice,

By your previous posts I guess it is plausible to assume you are trying to "accidently" out yourself. However, I don't want to make assumptions based on limited information. I do read in your posts that you appear to have a lot of stress in your life and stress can hamper our good judgment sometimes and cause us to do things we would not normally do. Your mind can only process so much information and sometimes it short circuits in the face of mental/emotional adversity. Anyone who says different only has to think about a time of great stress I their lives and how good their judgement was at that time. Alice you have a lot of things going on sweetie and IMHO you really need to seek some counselling to get your life in a place where you can relax and take time for yourself. Family is important but sometimes you need "me time" as well. I get the sense from your posts that you spend a lot of time giving to your family but not getting anything back (no recognition for your good deeds). While helping one's family should be unquestionable, we still like to feel as though that love is returned. This can cause a lot of stress in our lives especially if we feel our own family is taking advantage of us. I understand your money issues and that medical help in the US costs so I not sure if you have ready access therapists at a subsidized rate. If not, are there agencies which can assist you in getting that kind of help?

WRT your comment about "Alzheimer's" being so prevalent in your family, then perhaps it is a good idea to see a medical professional to assess if this is a cause of all your forgetfulness. At the very least, it could help put your mind at ease if the assessment comes back negative.

I would not worry too much about your landlord as he is probably more interested in how well you are taking care of the apartment vice what you do on your own time. If he doesn't mention it or become hostile towards you . . . probably not an issue. I will recommend that if memory is an issue you employ a few tricks for people who have memory issues. Firstly, I would remove the screen saver and just go with a neutral "non Alice" one so you don't accidently leave it playing when others (say your brothers) come to visit. Thumb drives with pictures . . . bad idea on so many levels if you are concerned about people knowing. Keep your pictures someplace safe . . . if you keep them on your laptop, password protect the file so someone can't open it inadvertently (write the password down and keep is somewhere safe). As Megan indicated, use notes to ensure embarrassing things don't happen . . . a noticeable note by the door leading out "Don't forget to check yourself before you leave" is simple and can give you pause for thought. If someone sees it, tell them it is a memory aid to ensure you are properly dressed and presentable when going out.

Hugs

Isha

[CarlaWestin]

I think he is pretty religious..........Hopefully, he did not get aroused by the photos.

And he thinks you're pretty, too! Alice, just don't worry about it. A government official definitely knows better than most that gender expression is a protected right and to never make it an issue. Besides, chances are he may have been wearing exquisite lingerie himself. Just kidding but, maybe next time he'll meet Alice.

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Abby, Isha, And Carla. I do go the the USA veterans clinic, to a threapist. She supports my dressing, But my religion does not, and society does not, and in my town, it would be a mistake to go out much. Isha, I will look into passible tests for Alzheim er's. I think brain scans are required,so it could be way too expensive for me. I am checking into natural suppliments that can help, and i do ride my bicycle a lot, and go swimming some, and walk. I neect o find a part time job, but in my little town area, there is almost no jobs. I will try volunteering.

Isha, I don't help with my family as much now. My 93 yo narssististic father is back home again from the nursing home, and is getting stronger, any well live to 100! My sister is there now to cook and clean. My one out of prison brother is there, also, and a nursed part time. So, i only go there about once a wee, to mow the three acres with an old tractor, which i enjoy doing. I now have minimal contact with them. But, my sister has a severe speech impediment, and no friends, and looks to cling to me, way too much. This is what happens when two sick people marry each other. The kids suffer the rest of thrir lives, with both physical, and emotional sicknesses, (curses, if you will). I never had a steady girlfriend,and my sister never had a boyfriend, at 65, and my older twin brothers were sadly, very intensely nazis). Mom died of Alzeimers and old age. I take a lot of vitamins and minerals, and other suppliments, but, don't eat much, because of soaring grocery prices. All my friends are 2000 miles away. I am a narcissist, like my father, too, and he is and always been obsessed with very tall, leggy women, and i am very tall leggy CD lady. My dad regretted that he had three sons, and wanted only daughters. I see a sick connection.

[Ladynlingerie]

I did the same thing, except my wife saw it...

[Alice Torn]

Ladyling. What did she do?

[leggspantyhose]

Wow you're gorgeous!

[Alice Torn]

leggspantyhose, Yes!, but not without pantyhose!!