Making Progress

[samantha rogers]

Something very cool happened last night.
I recently acquired a lovely dark blue formal gown. I found it in my size on clearance and was delighted. I took a chance and, having located a picture of the very same gown online, I showed it to my wife.
Now, for background, after years of dressing only on business trips, and secretly, I finally came out to my wife three months ago. It has been pretty bumpy at times (who am I kidding...some of it has been hellish). In the confusing early part of all this she staked out the position that she didn't care (not totally true) but did not want any part of it or to see me dressed. But over the ensuing weeks this has softened. We have had periodic discussions. I have kept her appraised. I have basically kept my dressing to overnight outings once or twice a month. I gently began to ask for advice on maintaining nails, a favourite area for her. She engaged with me on this and actually brought home a for me the next day product that strengthens nails.
But it was still a big step to ask for advice about a dress.
She did not get upset and commented that it was a beautiful gown.
But......this is where it gets good....
Last night we had just sent our daughter off to her senior prom. OMG she was so beautiful in her gown.
We had some time to kill after dinner so we were walking around the mall. My wife casually walked into a store that specializes in accessories. The next thing I knew, she was helping me pick out stuff to go with my gown...a gorgeous white drapey scarf thing to wear over the elbows, and a wonderful little clutch purse in a dark blue satin that matches the color of the gown perfectly.
My wife was helping me shop.
I was, given how hard some of this has been, totally in shock. I didnt know whether to smile, laugh or cry.
Later we visited another store and bought a couple of tops...one for each of us.

Baby steps, communication, love and respect.

Seems to be working... one day at a time, huh?

Now I seem to be crying a little. Sorry. Happy tears this time.

Hugs

Sammie

[Katey888]

Definitely progress, Sammie... :cheer:

I hope that continues along the same path for you - I can understand why that should be such an emotional experience...

Perhaps a big positive we do have going for us is the natural propensity of most women to want to shop, to want to make things coordinate and to want to help their loved ones with that...? If they can just get over the weird art of this... :D

Good to hear!

Katey x

[JenniferLynn0370]

That is so awesome Sammie; congrats girl, hope this trend continues for you!

Hugs,
Jen

[samantha rogers]

Thanks, Katey, and you are 100% correct. My wife and I have always enjoyed shopping together. She always liked the things I would suggest to her. But we were usually on different sides of the store in the past. Getting past the weird is exactly what she is struggling with...but she seems to be, maybe, just a little bit...making progress.

BTW...here is the gown, in case anyone cares...and if you don't love it, please don't tell me...tee hee.

[Danielle_cder]

Rock on GF!!

It is a good thing to share ;)

-d

[Marcelle]

Hi Sammie,

What a great story and what a great wife. You are right, communication, baby steps, love and respect . . . it is the only way forward once you secret is out. Love the dress BTW.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

Samantha,
Let your wife take the lead and follow her carefully.
Of course don't smother her and if she seems a little concerned now and then just back off till next time.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Samantha,

Just a word of caution, do not be surprised if your wife then goes way over in the other direction and rejects anything to do with your feminine side. She may be swinging like a pendulum trying to find her comfort zone. Just ride it out as best as you can and continue to be the lovely and supportive spouse you have always been.

My wife went in cycles like this. One minute she's rushing to the store to buy me a new outfit and the next would never want anything to do with this again. I "never" figured out what the cycles were driven by and no it wasn't PMS!

As you said, baby steps, communicate. love and respect will get both of you through this.

Love,
Linda W.

[Julie Denier]

Wonderful to hear, Sammie! And what a lovely dress ;)

[bridget thronton]

Great dress - nice to hear some signs of acceptance

[kimdl93]

That's such good news, Sammie!

[grace7777]

Hi Sammie,

I really love the dress, and if i found one like it in a store in my size I would buy it for me.

Grace

[Nadine Spirit]

Baby steps, communication, love and respect.



All of these things, hand in hand, with each other. Good for you & her!! :)

Oh and super cute dress. :daydreaming:

[JamieG]

That is terrific, Sammie! Make sure your wife knows how much her help means to you. Do something really special for her in return. And by the way, love the gown! Can I borrow it? ;-)

[jamie-upstate]

What a beautiful gown. Shopping with the wife is such a great step. I love it when we shop together.

[Sarah21]

That's a lovely story Sammie, it certainly sounds like progress, I am so happy for you! actually for both of you!

The dress looks amazing by the way.

Sarah.

[Chari]

Sammie, You have discovered that very special formula that can bring you to tears because someone is understanding and (a little more) accepting of your feminine side! Please continue to go at a comfortable compatible pace for you & your wife. BTW, please tell us who makes that fabulous dress, and what size are you? Enjoy.

[PaulaQ]

I'm really happy for your progress Sammie - but I would also urge caution. My wife and I went through periods where she was sort of accepting - much the same way your wife is acting now. Then we'd go through hellish phases - which I know you know all too well about. I'm really hopeful for you - but be careful hon. It ain't over until it's over.

[samantha rogers]

Thanks girls!
Make no mistake. I am under no illusions, just quietly hopeful which I will take over suicidal depression anytime, right?
There is no way for me to know how this will all turn out in the end. For that matter, there is no way of knowing how I will turn out either, since so much has changed already just in the last six months. I cannot know how she will react as the situation unfolds, nor can I predict how I will. But we have two kids on the verge of adulthood who still need both of us to help them successfully launch their own lives, and there is still love between us. So, quietly hopeful is fine for now. I will take it. Day by day.:battingeyelashes:


Oh, its Adrianna Papell, Chari. I picked it up at Nordstroms Rack. I could not believe the only one they had was my size (10 )!!!! And, yes, I had a quick minute to try it on yesterday...and it fits perfectly! :heehee:

PS I should have added something...she was also talking about us needing to move things around in the basement where the kids won't notice so I will have some space to keep my clothing and other stuff. In many ways that is just as big a step, since she brought it up, not me.

[carhill2mn]

It is wonderful to read about happy events such as this one! Obviously, you have enabled her to feel more comfortable with your CDing.

[AprilMayy<3]

Very Nice Samantha! Progress is lovely!

[Hell on Heels]

Sounds like very good progress Sammie.
I think the wind blew a little something into my eyes
about the same time I read of your tears if joy.
I'm extremely happy for you!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sammie, Ok now the ball is some what in her court, Now go easy and don't overwhelm her.

[Farrah]

Im so happy for You!! That is progress! I'm sure it will only get better! :)

[GenieGirl]

So happy to hear the great news Sam. Glad to see your wife coming around to your sweet side. Congrats and hopefully this will be a snowball effect!

Ginger

[Tami Monroe]

My wife is supportive of my crossdressing, but she does not want to see me dressed, and she does not want to be involved in my dressing decisions. I wish that would change. However, I am scared that if she decided she wants to see me dressed and/or wants to help, she will find me as less than her husband and the anly man who isher protector. Am I being too paranoid?

[mechamoose]

That is so cool, hon!

Nice dress!!!

She is supporting YOU, sweetie. She isn't seeing your dressing as a threat, which is what a number of girls here end up facing. Getting her help and advice gives her a way to be involved and support you.

You damn well better give that support back! She is open to your 'changes', just keep her involved.

I *love* it when my wife tells me I'm pretty!

<3

- MM

[GretchenJ]

Hi Sammie,

First - the dress is exceptional.
Second - your wife is also exceptional, and it sounds like the two of you have a great time out today!

Extremely happy for the both of you, next thing is book a special event out and away from home when the both of you can be dressed up!

Gretch

[KristyN]

You are off to the right start :) Sharing something like this is truly a special event, I will never forget the first time my wife started helping me to dressing and makeup. Yes, you are right on with communication! Also being aware of the grief process that she could be experiencing is another thing. If you can take it her speed and reassure her that her beauty is not threatened; then she will realize its these moments that most binary couples will never get to experience together and are something to cherish.

[JenX]

Beautiful Gown Samantha! I wish you and your wife many more happy and healthy shopping nights.