Why all the stuff???

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Okay, I have to ask another perplexing question: Why do so many here have SO much girl stuff?!!

And before everyone here goes on about women and endless shoes, I can tell you now that they're quite a rare type. In my personal cross section alone, I have at least 40 girlfriends that I keep in regular contact with and I'd say only 2 are shoe/clothing obsessed. The rest keep fairly normal closets that, sure, are often fuller than most men's, but seriously, many of you here say you have hundreds of outfits! And sorry, you can't use the 'we don't get to dress very often' excuse, as neither do my five military buddies yet their wardrobes are tame in comparison.

So how can we, the general public, believe this isn't a fetish when the whole thing seems very 'fetishy'?? (Hmmm, is that a word, lol) And really, what's so wrong if it is?

[jaleecd]

Hi Tink:
In my experience, style and combos are at first deep, dark secrets. sizing is a jungle in its self. Trial and error, plus items bought with a hazy idea how that item is going to foster those femme feelings, only to result in disappointment in the results. I have had to learn by trial and error, plus my physical size makes it hard to create a believable fact simile of a real female person. Each purchase creates that inner image that i strive for, but the mirror tells a different story. Oh well, maybe the next new item may close that gap. yeah, Right....

[typhoidmary]

It seems like quite a leap to say that a CDer owning so much stuff makes it seem like they have a fetish. I wouldn't know if the average CDer has a larger wardrobe than the average woman, I sure don't, but I've yet to get the impression that this is a sexual thing for most people. I agree though, there's nothing wrong with that. If the general public want to make assumptions about my sexuality (as if they don't already!) because I dress a certain way and wear a lot of makeup, they're welcome to.

[Katey888]

Tinks, I'm one to go for the old principle that the simplest solution is probably the right one... So you're probably right... :)

There's a touch of obsessiveness about all of us, I think - goodness knows, we'd have to be to some degree to persevere with just makeup as much as we have to... But some of us are just out there with collecting, and this is just another opportunity, although I think Jalee has hit on how we can build a lot of irrelevancy into our wardrobes - being a US size 8 bottom half and a 12 top half makes for some interesting dress fits - but when they do it's great! :)

Personally I don't have hundreds of outfits, or hundreds of pairs of shoes - so I'll look forward to seeing the answers from some of our collectors here... :D

(I have a small-ish collection of fountain pens: while there is absolutely nothing sexual about this, would this also be a fetish? :thinking:)

Katey x

[Tinkerbell-GG]

TyphoidMary, see, I read 'fetish' as something different than just sex. I thought it meant something had 'magical' qualities, was compelling etc. I'm not really debating that so much anyway as I don't think many here dress purely for sex, but if it's mostly about gender and not the 'magical' quality of a fetish, then why so much stuff? And yeah, many here do write of having FAR more items than the average person keeps in their closet.

Believe it or not, we GG's are not that different from men. But reading here, you'd think we were a Disney caricature with a wardrobe the size of a football field!

Katey888, I seriously love you :) And yes, if your fountain pens provide you with a sense of magic, then I think it's a fetish. A very cute one!

Edit: ha, Jalee, I think you need to step away from the online shops! :)

[typhoidmary]

I see what you mean Tinkerbell, I guess I'm used to seeing people use words like "fetish" to suggest there's something sexual or creepy about it. I think if I ended up having a huge amount of outfits, accessories etc, it'd probably be out of wanting to go the extra mile to hide my masculinity.

[Kate Simmons]

Depending on the person, sometimes a lot is needed to purvey the feminine energies needed for forward motion. :)

[Marcelle]

Hi Tink,

Sorry can't help you on this one as I don't have a large collection. I have always been a pragmatic dresser "en boy" and a few pairs of jeans, shirts, two suits and two pairs of shoes does it for me. So . . . this pragmatic aspect also followed Isha with a limited en femme collection. For me it is not about the outfit but blending in when out so my clothes are tools I employ for camouflage and practicality (doing things). Now my one guy friend (not CD) has a collection of guy clothes that would rival the "urban legend female closet" (20 pairs of shoes, 30 various suit and jacket combos, 20 pairs of jeans and I can't even count the number of tops). :)

Hugs

Isha

[Kate T]

A fair question Tink.
I can really only speak from my perspective. I think definitely initially, particularly once a CD gains self acceptance and no longer feels the need to purge, then there is a tendency to collect and try every style and colour of everything you can find. Also there is the issue of having NO IDEA about sizes, and realising that, No, that does not look good on you. Don't forget that a gg has had years to work out styles etc that suit her.
Some CDs just hang on to the stuff. Personally, I tend to go through my stuff every so often and send stuff back to the op shops that I am just NEVER going to wear. That or they go to my childrens fancy dress collection :).
Im much pickier now than I used to be about buying stuff. I still mostly buy from Op shops but if something is just that little bit too small whereas when I first came out i would have bought it if it was cheap now I don't bother.
One area I find a struggle to get right is shoes. I basically only buy at op shops and I always try shoes on but after a day in them I start to realise just why they are in the op shop and not the original owners closet :)
We do joke that I have more dresses than my wife but to be honest I probably have about the same amount of girl stuff as she does.
So I dont know why some CDs have enormous wardrobes. Then again I saw a television show once and this gentleman had at least 14 shirts EXACTLY the same! I do think some CDs have rather unrealistic picture of what real gg's lives etc are like.

[Teresa]

Tinkerbell,
CDers with loads of stuff are the minority, most of us have things hidden away in limited spaces also most are on limited budgets either through income or guilt.
GGs and CDers do have the attraction of clothes in common, if you walk near a clothes shop a style or colour may catch your eye, you go through the scenario of where you'd wear it what you'd put with it. Do you do the same for you H in man's shop ? I don't and I guess most Cders don't . Whatever you call that side of a CDer it feels a part of us that has that need, but in some it becomes on obsession more than a fetish.

[Erica Marie]

Tink Im with you on this one. My girl wardrobe does not out weigh my boy wardrobe. I will do the occasional update and buy a few new things. But I found over the years why buy more than you can wear. Spend a little more on a few nice things instead of clearing off a clearance rack of stuff that is just gonna fill a closet and doesnt get used.

[CarlaWestin]

Hey Tinkerbell. Are you actually my wife? That would be a riot. I think the other side of your question is, "What's the problem with having so much stuff?"
For the first 30 years, I had my proclivity encapsulated down to limited opportunities and hiding places. Now that I'm a responsible grownup, I keep my stuff in drawers and closets.
Also, the societally imposed stigma that this behavior is wrong, just means nothing now. So, I like to surround myself with needful things and crossdressing is my passion. Besides, I like to have a lot of variety available to entertain whichever mood I'm in. And, as you know, thrift shops make this game exciting and affordable.

No, I'm not a CD zombie! "Bras, must have more bras!" Well, uh, maybe, well, yes!

[Ressie]

This seems to be getting out of hand for me. The pink fog tends to bring on shopaholicism. As jaleecd pointed out trial and error is part of the cause. That applies in my case anyway. With the fear of trying on clothes before buying I've ended up with skirts and tops that are either too small or too large. I'm gonna have to spend some time going through everything and decide what to do with articles that I'll never where. Sell them or donate.

So far I have 800,000 pairs of panties. OK that was just a joke ;) But I'm guessing I have around 50. I'm a fetishy type.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tink, I may be one of the CD's that you are talking about , I have three closets full of clothes
and 130+ pairs of shoes plus many pieces of lingerie .
There is so many combinations that I can put together , I really love spending time
picking out an outfit to get dressed in.
I rotate things between Summer and Winter in the closets.

I have really cut back on new purchases at 71 I think that I may have enough to out last me

[Chari]

Great info from previous posts! Another aspect to having a large wardrobe is the need to "stay in Fashion", and the changing of our personal size/shape! Some us must always have the latest attire to be up-to-date, while others may have an issue with loosing (or gaining) body weight/shape. IMO those items that are no longer "in", or just don't fit should be given to charity, thus reducing the size of the wardrobe. Enjoy.

[natcrys]

As someone with her own walk-in closet.. I do consider myself part of the group that has a lot of stuff. :)

But I think it just depends on what type of circle of friends you have if you're looking for comparisons. I have one group of female friends (like a dozen or something).. they're really into fashion and shoes. And they will have a lot.. like over 50 pairs of shoes.. dresses in a lot of colours, etc.

Then the other group of female friends (like a couple of dozen).. they dress more casual, usually have quite the number of jeans and tops.. not that many dresses. Lot of flat shoes.. and no more than 5 pairs of heels (if any at all). And yes.. it seems the stereotypes are a bit true.. as most of these friends from the latter category are women with an engineering background. :p

And those women tend to spend more money on stuff like gadgets, kitchen tools, sports equipment.

And no.. (obviously :D ) I don't think it's a problem.. as long as having lots of stuff doesn't interfere with the day-to-day life (paying bills, food, etc.)

[Confucius]

I could carry all of my stuff in one small (carry-on) suitcase. OMG I must be the world's worst cross-dresser! I am a disgrace to my own female alter-ego.

Really. My stash is very limited. If my wife was more supportive then things could be different. She sets the limits and I do my best to live within those boundaries.

[NicoleScott]

Tink, why do so many women have so much girl stuff??
You should see my wife's closet - clothes she just HAD to have but never wears hanging on hangers which she meticulously spaces evenly on the rod.
Drawers jammed with handbags of all kinds - to be seen only when the drawers are opened. Heaven forbid that they actually get used for their purpose.
Jewelery box - same.
My collection is modest. A few dresses, several mix-and-match separates, a few items of shapewear, half a dozen pantyhose/stockings and no more than 10 pairs of shoes and 3-5 wigs at any given time.
As for SO MUCH stuff? You should see my tackle box. I suspect we're all guilty of acquiring too much stuff - it's just a matter of WHAT?

[Nadine Spirit]

Hi Tink-

Hmm.... I don't think I would qualify as someone that has an excess amount, though I do have quite a bit. I have read of others here having lots and lots of clothes and shoes. Like some of the numbers of bras and panties and shoes that some have are crazy amounts! And they don't ever go out of the house! To me, that is the part that shoves it a bit more into the fetish zone. For me, going out, wherever I want, I see that in order for me to satisfy my desire to be fashionable and appropriate for the situation I like having a large selection from which to choose.

So what is large to me? I recently got an app for my iPad, Stylebook. I took pictures of my clothes and have them organized to keep track of what I have. So here you go - 102 tops, (sweaters, long sleeves, tank tops, t-shirts, turtle necks) 30 - bottoms, (jeans, shorts, skirts,) 12 - dresses, 6 - coats, 7 - purses, 30 - shoes.

So? Excessive? Not in my mind, as long as I am actually wearing the items. If I don't wear them, then they are outed! :)

[PaulaQ]

I don't have a clue on this - I don't really have much stuff and never did. I have more shoes than I did as a man - 10 pair maybe? I kind of don't like shopping because it's hard to find clothes and especially shoes that fit me well. One of my GFs who was a lot more serious CD than I ever was has, I dunno, 20 pairs of heels. She buys a lot more stuff than I do - she really loves clothes, but she doesn't have an insane amount of stuff.

What's too much stuff? Seems relative to me.

[Bria]

Tink, I have all of my clothes, both boy and girl in one closet on a rod about three feet long . In addition I have one very modist chest of drawers for both sets of clothes. I have two pair of girl shoes and four pair of boy shoes, plus a pair of Birkies and a pair of flip flops.

I would have more girl shoes if I could find my size in some styles that I would like.

My wife has at least three to four times as much closet space plus a chest of dreawers that is twice as big as mine and another dresser full, oh and then there are the clothes in boxes on the high closet shelf. She doesn't have many shoes however.

Hugs, Bria

[Alice Torn]

I tended to hoard fishing rods and reels, inkpens, shortwave radios, and am fm radios, and guy shoes too! I have four pairs of lady shoes heels, about 25 dresses, on gown, only two wigs now, a duffle bag full of tops, three blouses three pairs of womens pants, several skirt suits, three bras, about 15 pairs of pantyhose, 2 girdles, about 8 panties. That is about 20 % more than all my guy clothes, and i really did not want this to happen! I have given away some, but keep buying more on EBAY. I find it very hard to get rid of much. Once in a while, i get rid od something, like four dresses one day, but rarely. A minor hoarder here.

[Zylia]

Depending on how you use the word 'fetish' it definitely is a fetish. The mental condition that is cross-dressing has its compulsive and obsessive elements. I mean, just because it's fun to have many outfits doesn't really explain why some cross-dressers have dozens if not hundreds of tights, undies, bras, dresses, etc.

[NicoleScott]

A fetish for something and collecting a lot of items aren't necessarily connected, but they could be. There are fetishists who don't have big collections of their fetish item, content to use what they have to happily reach the promised land. But, as Zylia said, depending on how you use the word fetish. To me, it's more than "I like panties" or whatever.

[Beverley Sims]

Those that have a shoe problem suffer from the Imelda Marcos syndrome.

The storage of clothes is to feed the moth population.

I think insanity is in there somewhere. :)

[Lorileah]

Fetish: an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
synonyms: juju, talisman, charm, amulet;. The original definition and what I think Tink was going for but guys, being guys, now direct it to the sexual definition which actually when you remove the sexual part may have some application synonyms: fixation, obsession, compulsion, mania; even without the "promised land"

Once again, I think this thread focuses on a small point (yes that is what focus means I know) and on a small number of people. I had at one time every power tool I could afford. I have several boxes of vintage NASCAR die-casts. Neither of these led to sexual gratification. Now I have closets with a lot of clothing, which is a bad thing at 8AM when I need to get to work. I don't stop for sexual gratification. When that WAS part of this life I didn't have a lot of clothing, I had maybe half a dozen pantyhose, a baby doll nightie, and two skirts. All ended up disposable.

With a broad brush, you may see people here collecting dresses or shoes or underwear. That is what humans do and some are passionate. I know just as many T's who have a limited wardrobe because of many factors. Why do I have closets full of dresses and skirts and shorts and slacks? Because as in many of my endeavors I hate being repetitive. When I perform I try hard to NOT do the same songs over and over, the audience who comes to see me on a routine basis I think appreciates a mix. Thus I have well over 350 songs memorized so I can switch it up. Not all of them are hits, some I will only do once or twice, like the dress I might have that is too short or too high waisted. Early in living this lifestyle I think many of us do go overboard, but GGs tend to forget something. You have had this life for a long time, when you were a teen and just blossoming you shopped for clothing and if you could afford it you bought it. Or makeup or shoes or if you were sexually mature sexy underwear. Your closet was as full as you could make it with the means you had to spend. Nothing different here except we are 30-50 years behind you and often have the finances now. We are experimenting with makeup...seeing what look we like and that takes a lot of product before we settle. Me personally I have at least three make up looks I use and they each require a different set of palettes. I have many shoes for many looks but wear 5 or 6 pair on a regular basis. I have dressy dresses for parties and mixers. I have nice dresses for casual affairs. I have a few house dresses. I have outfits for sports and going to the zoo. I do own jeans but they are not my style so they are reserved.

The point is that we are new, we are still exploring. Looks, styles, materials. GGs have done all this, and I may say with the help of their peers who may lead them away form Faux Pax or who were willing to share things so you could explore.

I know that many GGs here feel that the amount of clothing or shoes or makeup is somehow infringing in their world. I don't advocate a man (or woman) spending money that is needed for daily life on frivolous things. I know I need to cull my closet. I have things I will never wear again; just like those power tools. But I am, like many humans, a procrastinator so they collect.

I wonder if Mavis Leno says "Hey Jay, you don't need all those cars. Couldn't you just get a minivan?" And I doubt he uses them to get to the "Promised land"

[Jenniferathome]

Tink, I think for some, clothes become a trophy of sorts. While my wardrobe is small it is larger than I NEED. I go out rarely so when I do, I always want to wear something new. Now, it doesn't always work that way, but it's what I feel. If I went out a lot, I'd work on better utilization of my things to create outfits. As a comparison, I'd guess I have 5 more skirts than my wife, about the same number of dresses (10-ish) but 1/10th the number of pants and tops. It is more than I need and I am doing much better at curbing it. In addition to the " trophy" comment, I think there is also a element of substitution for not being able to dress. Buying something is kind of an "almost." I am also kind of practical and won't spend a lot on stuff anyway. Lastly, for some, it is a fetish, maybe like any shopping addiction, just focused on cross dressing.

[Steph_CD_62]

The only girl stuff that I have a lot of is panties and nightgowns.
My style of panties have changed through out the years, and for some reason I have never thrown any away.
As far as nightgowns, I love to go "window" shopping, and I will see a new nightgown that "catches" my eyes and I just have to have. I have around 15 nightgowns.
As far as all my other girl stuff, I have 2 pair of pants, 2 dresses, 1 blouse and 5 bras. I have a few other misc. items but nothing really excessive.

[Wifeofjenniferathome]

I'm a GG and wife of a crossdresser. I wondered about this question many times, and asked my husband. He says he wants choices. I think it might be part of feeling like a woman. Most of the crossdressers I see dress stereotypically female, not necessarily how most women dress on a daily basis. As my husband says, "it's no fun wearing jeans and a t-shirt". So having a lot of clothes, shoes, accessories, etc., may be part of feeling more feminine.
Wife of Jennifer at home.

[DonnaT]

I think I have a rather conservative amount of clothes, much less than my wife, yet they don't all fit into the closet.

One issue is shopping. It is really hard to bypass some article that is on sale and looks so fantastic. Hard enough when it isn't on sale. But knowing my closet space, I have to restrain myself.

[PaulaQ]

Most of the crossdressers I see dress stereotypically female, not necessarily how most women dress on a daily basis. As my husband says, "it's no fun wearing jeans and a t-shirt".

Yeah, I guess this is what's different for me, and why I don't have so much stuff. I look down at what I'm wearing and yeah, it's jeans, a t-shirt, and flats. No makeup. The t-shirt has a nice floral print, if that helps... I dunno, for me, it's just clothes. :strugglin

[susan54]

OK I may be the sort of person being talked about here. Over 1000 skirts, 600 dresses, more than 1000 tops including blouses, 150 jackets, 250 pairs of shoes/boots, 20 coats. Lots of underwear too but that is functional, just to make the outerwear look good. I also have a Lot of books (over 10,000) and CDs (over 2000).

I do not regard wearing women's clothes as a problem, but admit that the number of them might be - after all, not many women have that many dresses or skirts (I do have a few pairs of women's trousers but do not wear them much). I don't care - I it can afford it and I have the space. I suspect that many women would be in these numbers of they did not get rid of so much (I do dispose of stuff,but only if it no longer fits nor falls apart). I wear the clothes a lot - most of my free time, and I like choice. When I tell women how many clothes I have their eyebrows go to the sky! I love 'em and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

lol, Susan54, I think you definitely qualify. And don't get me wrong, I'm not asking why you have TOO many items, just more (way, way more) than the average person. Seems you wouldn't actually wear all those items? And just because you can afford them, why buy them? I'm not poor by any stretch and I love fashion so I could afford a much larger closet, but it actually annoys me when I have too many clothes. I feel cluttered and like I'm going to end up on a hoarders show!

So maybe Jenniferathome is right- these are trophies in a way? And in some cases, maybe the power of these items are 'fetishy'? As Lorileah pointed out, she has many because she's a performer. That makes sense. Paula doesn't even bother with the clothes. But they're TS. Maybe for the ordinary ole' crossdresser the outfits really are a big part? I just assumed the 'dress' part of crossdresser was sort of pointless. I'm actually thinking now that it might be a big part for some here?

And yep, my H had way more than needed and I remember giving him the 'for the love of chocolate, why?!!' speech. He had no idea, lol. I'm not sure he even knew he was doing it!

[Donnagirl]

Why do I have so much stuff... As I try to explain to my wife, even the simple pleasure of trying something on necessitates it's purchase. (I only internet shop). Once bought it stays, whether it fits nicely or not. Too many things have been lost to irrational purges that I now refuse to throw anything away.

That said I do have the occasional clean out and the local charity shop gains.

Perhaps a things are starting to look up for me, I might try shopping for real and actually trying stuff on at the shop. With all the advances I've made recently, this could be sooner rather than later.

[AlanaG]

I know that I would have way more shoes if I could find the cute ones in my size. I hate having big feet.

[mykell]

hi tink, i dont have all that much and i try to match up to everything the best i can, budget restraints, dont dress full time, why have a full time wardrobe,
but at the core of this we are men in female clothes,
our earliest function was the hunter, gatherer, it must be a neanderthal CDing instinct,
trophies and acquisitions......

[PaulaQ]

Paula doesn't even bother with the clothes.

Hey, my wardrobe's not that bad, she says defensively, remembering all the younger transwomen who complain she dresses like an old lady, or at the very least a mom... (Same thing to the younger women!)

Well, OK fine I'll step it up a notch or two. ;)

Other memorable comments about my wardrobe:
I'd rather dress like a man, than dress like you do! (a friend who isn't presenting as female fulltime yet)
If I had to wear those clothes, I'd be depressed too! (This was said by my psychologist!)

[sometimes_miss]

I don't have more girl clothes than any of the women I've dated, however, I do have way more duplicates, where as they rarely if ever had two of the same items. I'm big and tall, and it's very hard to find things that fit; when you add to that, manufacturers don't keep making the same exact cut item for more than one season, when I find something that fits, I will buy it in several colors or duplicates of the same, because I know I'll probably never see it again. This goes for mens clothes too.

[Eryn]

I've been actively CDing for three years. My wife and I share a closet, the left half of which is mine and the right hers. Right now I probably have half of it, she has about a third, and the remaining sixth is clothes we share.

So, why do I have more clothes than she does?

First, I went though the "pink fog" phase that many of us experience. During this phase we are amazed that we can really buy what we want and there is some fear that the privilege will somehow be revoked. There's also the fear that, if we don't buy something, it won't be available tomorrow. (This is an issue new to us, as it does not affect male clothing!) Combine these fears with unfettered buying power and you can fill a closet pretty fast. I made quite a few "what was I thinking" purchases during this phase, particularly with shoes.

Second, in order to go out and at least blend I have to have a variety of clothing that is unquestionably feminine. I can't do that with the "jeans and T-shirt" style that many GGs prefer.

Third, and also relating to the Pink Fog theme, consider that a CDer is going through the same learning and growing experience that a GG does between the ages of, say, 12 and 25, only they are doing it in a few months and with their own Visa card.

Fourth, many CDers belong to social groups who put on special events. This means that we need special occasion clothing.

I do find that as I get further along in my journey, that I buy less that I did previously. I recognize that my present closet has many untapped combinations and most of my shopping now is for the one specific item that I want to make a combination work.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Tinkerbell

For me, the illicit thrill of purchasing heels, hose, dresses or skirts rivals the pleasure of actually wearing the items. It just seems so deliciously wrong. My wife is 60/40 against this. We are in good place financially but she doesn't understand why I have 30 pair of heels. But her wardrobe and shoe collection has expanded dramatically apace, and she appreciates my eye for fashion. My compulsion has benefits she enjoys, which tempers her dismay.

Shibumi

[Leslie Langford]

Tink, the answer in many cases boils down to the following, and is best encapsulated by the answer that George Mallory - an ill-fated 1920's explorer and mountaineer who died trying unsuccessfully to reach the top of Mount Everest - gave in response to the question as to why he continued to try to conquer that mountain. His short - and famous - answer was: "Because it it there".

So it is for many of us CDers. The variety, style, and selection of female clothing, lingerie, and shoes - not to mention the wide range of options for sensuous fabrics - exceeds exponentially what is typically available for men. And don't even get me started on all the gender-specific accessories that exist out there to complement those female outfits - purses, jewellry, watches, scarves, belts, gloves, and all manner of headgear etc., etc. For us genetic males, when we speak here of dressing in "drab", we mean it...in every sense of the word.

Faced with such an incredible choice of fashions and the countless permutations and combinations of clothes and accessories that we can put together to get just the "right" look, we are invariably blown away by the endless possibilities to dress attractively available to women, as they far exceed any opportunities to do the same in "boy world".

Maybe some GG's find the scope of such choices overwhelming and opt instead for simplicity, thus limiting their wardrobes accordingly through their own doing. For many of us CDer's - the grass being perpetually greener on the other side of the fence - take the opposing viewpoint, and happily avail ourselves of all the opportunities out there when we enter "girl world". For us, it is kind of like experiencing sensory overload and the feeling of being a kid in a candy store when we go shopping in women's clothing and shoe stores for our female wardrobes.

Now, as for why we hang on to all that stuff after we accumulate it...well, that's a whole different issue, and probably has to do with the fact that strong scientific evidence exists that there is a definite link between OCD/hoarding and the urge to crossdress. I can certainly see this in my case.

And trust me on this - you DON'T want to know how many pairs of women's shoes (and especially heels) I own. Let's just say that Imelda Marcos would likely give me the famous Wayne's World "We're not worthy!" bow if she ever met me and saw my extensive collection of women's shoes... ;)

[LilSissyStevie]

Cross dressing is inherently fetishistic. Anytime an object (clothes/makeup/etc) has the power to transform/express (some association to femaleness/femininity) that object is a fetish. With respect to sexual fetishes, all sexual attraction is fetishistic. If you don't believe it, try getting turned on while thinking about nothing. What we normally call fetishes are just those things that aren't on the culturally approved list of acceptable turn-ons. That doesn't mean that all fetishes are equal or benign, but they are fetishes just the same. There may be a correlation between CDing and obsessive collecting but I'm not sure that there is any cause/effect relationship. My major collections are Baroque music recordings, folk and oldtime country music recordings and banjos. I haven't spent nearly as much on clothes.

[~Joanne~]

I read the thread and was trying to find the right words to explain my needs to buy new things when Lorileah nailed it with this one paragraph:

GGs tend to forget something. You have had this life for a long time, when you were a teen and just blossoming you shopped for clothing and if you could afford it you bought it. Or makeup or shoes or if you were sexually mature sexy underwear. Your closet was as full as you could make it with the means you had to spend. Nothing different here except we are 30-50 years behind you and often have the finances now.

I think it's just to try the different fabrics, cuts, styles and such. I admit, I do have a pretty good sized wardrobe, almost equal to my male wardrobe but I buy things I see on that side of my life also. Having a loving, accepting and supportive SO, her and I do tend to enjoy shopping together so there are some things that make it to my closet just because she says I should have it or that it would look good on me not because I had to have it. I also leave just as much, if not more, behind because I do know there is no sense in having anything, CDing or not, if your not going to use it, wear it, or whatever.

Heels are my weakness though. I have 2 pair of men's shoes and 30 or so pairs of heels, flats, sandals etc. I just bought a new pair of heels today as a matter of fact. Did I need another pair of peep toed 4" heels in black? no but you never know when I may ;)

[Wildaboutheels]

***** And really, what's so wrong if it is?*****

Evolution is NEVER wrong.

And no CDer will ever be "free" or happy till they admit/recognize that fact.

Also, only a very small percentage of CDers have tons of stuff. Easy to predict when one is buying clothes designed to fit/flatter females and putting them on a male body in an attempt to be "attractive" and "pass" as a female. Only the tiniest percentage of CDers do that.

[kimdl93]

I think this is a substantially inaccurate representation. Sure, a few obsessive soils, like your friends, have inordinate numbers if heels, panties or dresses, but I would submit that the majority are more like the other 96 percent. Speaking only for myself, my male and female closet space combined is about equal to my wife's. And I dress a lot!

[Dianne S]

I do know CDers who buy lots of stuff. They see shoes or a dress or top and can't resist. To me, it seems a little bit like clothes porn... they constantly require new stuff to keep the excitement level up. I think that might be why some find it a bit off-putting.

I've never been like that. I don't particularly like shopping, and while I have a reasonably-sized female wardrobe, it's probably less than 1/3 the size of my wife's. I have maybe six or seven dresses, about four bras, four pairs of shoes, etc...

[CynthiaD]

You need more female clothing than male clothing. In male mode I can wear pretty much the same thing every day, and nobody notices. I can wear the same pants two days in a row, and who cares? I can wear the same thing to church as I wear to work, and even wear the same thing without a jacket for casual wear.

No way you can do that with female clothing. Everything is different depending on the occasion, and there are a lot more levels to go through. Plus there are more options: dress, skirt and top, pants and top. If you're going to present as female for any length of time, you need a substantial wardrobe.

Besides, it's fun having lots of clothes!

[bridget thronton]

I will confess I shop for recreation - it is nice to buy once on a while. Sizing is tough - so buying things when they fit is the rule. I do try to closet clean every year or so (but saving favorite items in hopes of losing weight is common for me)

[Jocelyn Quivers]

After recently purchasing another dress I do not need, will probably only wear once, and most likely never outside I came to a different reason for my over indulgence for all of my "girl" stuff.

Reparations or TG Affirmative Action- As a result of at least a couple of decades of being held down by my male side, being refused any and all things "girl" related, including all of the shame, guilt, self-loathing hatred that came along with all of that. In addition to all discretionary spending being spent on strictly all "guy" stuff, I "girl/femme side" am entitled and owed an equal amount of years, time, money spent on all of the outfits, make up, wigs, shoes, etc that I was denied all of those past years. To make up for all "issues" that came along during that time period. So if going off my male side behavior, I would to collect, buy, waste money on etc. every video game that came out for any past console including all strategy guides, collectables, buying the same game version of said game for every console I had (think any and all Pac Man games, sequels, spin-offs etc. going from Atari 2600, through XBOX-360). That just translates into the same thing just with clothes, looks, wardrobes etc.

On a side note, a current compromise is probably around 2018-2020 girl side will let up a little, and consider male side's request for XBOX One, maybe, depending on if I'm satisfied with my collection of Hooter's Girl Uniforms and all variations from all major cities, US and International! :D

[StephanieinSecret]

I don't have a ton of stuff, but i don't throw things away often because when I was younger I never knew when I might be able to get something new. Old habits dont fade overnight.

[Dena]

I enjoy shopping and trying different looks. I also have several years of spring cleaning to catch up on.

[CassieD]

I don't know if I have a ton of stuff, but even if you only buy stuff occasionally it mounts up over time. I tend to watch what's in the shops and wait for sale time.

[Sarah Doepner]

It doesn't look like I'll be adding much new to the discussion, but I appreciate this kind of question because it makes me reflect on what I'm doing, so thanks for that.

Trial and error fit into my wardrobe development in a major way. I shop thrift stores and so I don't have a lot of money invested in my clothing. But since I do most of my shopping in guy mode it was very hard at first to make sure I was getting the right size and a style that actually worked for my body and with the rest of my things. Since I wasn't throwing things out very often, I would get a new top or skirt and eventually I'd find that it worked well with something that had been sitting in the closet for a very long time. Since I didn't start dressing en femme with any kind of regularity until I was well into my adult years and it was years after that before I could lay everything out, I didn't have much stable ground on what my style would be. I missed the opportunity to learn how to properly dress as a little girl, a teenager, a young adult etc. When I finally had the chance, it was obvious that many of my choices were poor ones. Even once I started to understand what actually worked for me I had a pretty conservative color pallet that needed to be addressed.

Now I'm about where I need to be and could cut back on the things I have in the closet, and probably will. But the process has been a long one and there has been quite a bit of satisfaction in each discovery that worked. I like the magical fetish idea you brought to the table. Because there are times when it all comes together that it actually does seem magic has been at work.

[Jamiegirl1]

Hi Tinkerbell,I have quite a few pairs of shoes,flipflops,sandals,etc. they are all a little bit different in style,color,heel height....I wear different ones with different outfits,I have several dresses,skirts,blouses,4 purses in different colors,and am planning on buying more purses...more shoes and more clothes..I love the variety of my women's clothes and shoes,so many ways to make yourself look and feel,depending on my mood,the weather,just sooo many choices...Men's clothes are sooo boring.......and I get to dress all the time,but I don't want to wear the same clothes too often....nice to change it up a bit....

[KaceyR]

My thing has been that I've spent 48 years in the most generic stuff as male. I might get a new polo shirt or 2 a year, but otherwise it's nothing to look at. Especially when dealing with Jeans as a base to everything. I own one suit that I probably can't wear anymore...been 11 years on that.
Now as a dresser (and yes, I do have some fetish side as well towards hosiery and shoes) I can really express things more.
I realize that even women can have a more "generic" look to clothing. Look at what teens wear, Jeans and some sort of top..just like I wore as male. Even some of their tops (and especially as you've stopped growing as older) probably are a same thing...only some rarely got every year) But usually we as CDers have to
1: work harder to look more feminine, which may mean trying more things to push the feminine side.
2: Along with this means we're using more dresses and skirts, and extra things to express more true feminity (rather than just fem jeans and a hoodie...:/ )
2b: Due to this, especially with dresses + skirts, etc you can't really put just _anything_ on..you do need to coordinate to look a bit better.
2c: If you don't then you stick out more like a sore thumb and really draw extra attention because of how bad you look. Sure we want to look good, but draw as little undue attention that could cause issues down the line.

So we get more in various colors, more outfit pieces that can be worked around in different ways. I'm sure several GGs don't think anything of whatever they wear. Those that are fashionistas or pay attention to that can look at a GG and just say "ew why'd they wear that" and walk away. But do something bad as a CDer and you're in for a whole lot more ridicule.
It's not fun. It can be humiliating, and be even 2-3x more so to CDers in this way.
Now this is my train of thought, and a lot of this is mostly applicable for those CDers going out and about (like I do regularly).
I myself am a bit new and can say I have a more limited #s of skirts and dresses yet. Half is more applicable to Winter. In my own case, I have had limited resources ($) to really get a good supply of stuff to be able to easily say I have a good full outfit to match a single piece I'd like to wear.

Now on the fetishy side..I've overspent too often. That's my 24 pairs of shoes and boots,etc. And I'm still kind of low on comfy sandles for an everyday summery wear. And my yellow ones do stand out with other outfits too much. So I dunno.

I only own 4 purses. Dark brown, black, blue, and fuzzy leopard print :) (leopard was from a SA place..and at 50 cents for the good size I couldn't pass it up :) I just really haven't figured out the best place to use it)

The color matching/outfitting also plays hard on my own OCD trying to get things just right.

Anyways, that's my take on it anyways. I actually have been mild in my underwear drawer... guess I should have maybe 18 or so tho..but generic multipacked (hanes,etc) not really bought the single lacier kind. (yet anyways :)

I guess some also could be considered on how deep of a CDer you are too. Me, I've also been questioning myself more and more on gender and other issues (maybe into dysphoria) so that could add further differences to some.

Lotsa variance into all this methinks.

[2B Natasha]

Hi Tinkerbell

Why all the stuff indeed. Like some others have said. It takes all kinds and whatever your interest is is what you'll probable collect.

I myself have about the same amount of women clothes as men's. I probable have recycled more women's then men's just because of size and color. Arm length inseam etc etc. clothing that is designed generally for people who are slimmer of build and shorter of height make it hard. But I've found my style and places I shop. It's all good now. My SO has about the same amount as I. Except purses. She has a trove of purses that I'll never have. Too her credit thought. She uses just about all of them.

So. While there maybe a trans whatever out there that has a ton of clothing. Not all of us do.

Cheers

[darla_g]

I read this with a chuckle. I am guilty of this. I have more shoes than my wife as she points out. But then again the majority of mine came from thrift stores.

Clothes and shoe storage has definitely become a problem. I do clean house occasionally and donate stuff i don't want to a shelter or occasionally sell some items.

[Georgina]

I have a lot of stuff(love that word). I started dressing in the fifties sixties and I still love clothes from that period. I have a lot of vintage slips and girdles, which I collect, and now seem to be soaring in value so that kind of justifies them. My main reason for having so many clothes stems from my beginning. Back then I was so upset that the clothes I wanted to wear were not for boys. I did not think that was fair so I eventually made myself a promise, which was, that once I could afford to buy my own, no one would limit what I could have. I have stuck by my promise ever since.

[Abbygirl]

Why all the stuff? For me it is simply the result of years of accumulating without throwing things out or purging the things I hardly wear.
I don't consider my CDing to be a pastime or a hobby, but the shopping part of it has that feel to it!

[Ressie]

Nice background story Georgina. :)

There are lots of items I bought at thrift stores that I wouldn't have bought if I only tried them on first. Within the last year I finally got the courage to take a few tops into the dressing room at good will and I didn't buy anything I tried on. Skirts and tops with some stretch in the fabric are what I look for now. Size doesn't have to be perfect with the stretchiness, and wrinkles are nearly eliminated too. We need more shoes like that!

[Samantha Clark]

I have far more boy clothes than girl clothes. My books, on the other hand, appear to be reaching fetishistic levels ...

[dana digs sweaters]

It's female clothes.
Why limit ourselves? :)

[Jenny Green]

Tinkerbell -
I believe that, by and large, there's a big-time fetishy aspect at play here.

But that doesn't necessarily tie to the large amounts of clothing some people acquire. For me, I'll admit to the fetish part, but at the same time I'll say that I don't have, or desire, mass quantities. In fact, a few weeks ago I bought my 4th dress in 30 years.

Your question was great, and is probably just one more to add to the many other ultimately puzzling aspects of this whole thing.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well spos being a female i do need some clothes and i have enough for what i do skirts a few dress's not many mind you a few pairs of shoes not to many head wear = scarves that i use as wrap around in turbin style, tops jackets and a few coats ,

Now my period wear i make all my garb = clothes dont have money to just buy any thing so much of what i have is second hand and ill redo to fit as needed,

Now out side of that is my uniform for our Brass band quite nice as it is, and we have a photo of our band on here as well.

so no i dont have lots of clothes enough and that suits me very well.

...noeleena...

[Maria 60]

I watch my wife get out of bed and go to the window and see what the weather is and then she opens her closet and decides what she wants to wear, I believe women need selection and I feel the same way about myself, if I see a women wearing something and I get the craving to wear something like that I want my closet to have selection. Why I have over one hundred pairs of pantyhose is another story.

[MissTee]

I'm one of those with a lot of stuff. I have my reasons and I don't think they are fetish driven. First, I own several places and like a stash of girl stuff at each so I don't have to transport from location to location. Next, and probably most likely, is during my CD "coming of age" I wanted to try every look. Thus, I gathered many ingredients to set up a test kitchen of clothing to try out all the fashion ideas in my head. I had a lot of fun. I had very few rejects in my process and still have most of my acquisitions in a closet somewhere. That said, after I run the gamut of fashions and the new wore off, I simplified and anymore I have my go to favorites and seem to wear those most of the time.

In summary, I crammed what you likely took a lifetime to discover about clothing into a much more compressed timeline. Say, 2-3 years maybe. Again, it was fun as hell and I wouldn't have done it differently. Hugs!

[suchacutie]

My first reaction was that Tina didn't have a lot of stuff, and that's true for outer garments, just a couple skirts, couple of dresses, leggings, leather jeans, sweaters....not that much.

But, then there is all the stuff that helps us present the idea that we are feminine. All the undergarments that let us hide the male clues, and let us promote the feminine clues. Those we need as many of as possible. Heels, bras, breastforms (of some kind), shapers, stockings, gaffs or the equivalent, hair...it's just essential.

It takes effort to do what we do :)

[Robert]

I think I like shopping for clothes more than I like wearing them.

I work hard, and I work long hours, so getting the chance to choose some new items of clothing is a release for me. I can't count the amount of things I have bought that I never wear. And, for some reason, I very rarely throw things away.

In terms of lingerie, I could wear a different ensemble everyday for a year and not repeat, but I tend to default back to the same few items. My collection is a reflection of my journey. But, then, my wife's wardrobe is also chock full of things she never wears.

Good question.

[Paige62]

Hi in the last few months i have bought lots of clothes heels etc love browsing for clothes online can spend hours just looking for things to buy and if i buy a dress you need heels to go with it and maybe new underwear and while i puchase that i have to get the lovely hand bag that goes with it and new jewellery thats why i have lots of female clothing i love the whole lot looking for it buying it waiting for delivery and best of all trying it on and taking photos xxxx hugs love and kisses Paige