For all you "Straight" CDers...

[Wildaboutheels]

... as well as the crooked ones.

Since there is a rumor circulating that this CDing thing is sexual for SOME...

IF you had a partner that was always ready, willing and able, is it possible you would "dress less"?

[Abbygirl]

I can confirm that it is at least partly a sexual thing for at least one of us (sexual gratification is certainly not the only reason I dress).
I have a partner that is always willing, ready and able, have had for years - it doesn't seem to have reduced my desire to dress one bit. I will say however, that my desire goes down a bit after the big "O". Comes right back though.

[Tina G]

For myself I would not dress less at all. some may but i'm curious to see others answers.

Jenny

[typhoidmary]

wouldn't change anything for me, seeing as how I look like this most of the time.

[Donnagirl]

I don't necessarily equate the two... CDing does tend to increase the old libido but not by that much. And since there is no, has been no and apparently will be no meeting of Donna and the wife I keep the two aspects quite seperate.

[JenniferYager]

A little less, but only because I'd be spending more time with said partner. Still don't think the desire would go away.

[Samantha Clark]

Umm. I don't think I get this. My wife is always "ready, willing and able" and it has no affect on my "desire for the attire."

[kimdl93]

No. I don't generally dress as a prelude to sex and I don't dress as a substitute for sex.

[Marcia Blue]

I have a reduction in the desire to dress after intimacy, but for only a very short time. Say a few hours.

Even when I was younger and newly married. The wife being always being willing and able. The desire to dress was was always there. I was repressing it, and hoping it was going to go away.

Now I have accepted myself, and really love my duality.

[Confucius]

Well, I started dressing when I was about 3-4 years old, and it certainly wasn't sexual.

It wasn't sexual until I hit puberty and my testosterone levels went crazy. Then it remained sexual until I got old and my testosterone levels waned.

Your brain is hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. So when you cross-dress your brain goes into action releasing neurotransmitters: dopamine is what provides the urges to seek gratification, sexual or otherwise (its also associated with compulsive behavior), then there is serotonin which is associated with sensations of well-being, happiness, reduces stress, and improves sleep, and then there is oxytocin which is associated with social empathy, trust, bonding, and love. The testosterone is associated with your sex drive.

When you orgasm your dopamine levels drop and your prolactin levels to up. Prolactin is associated with the pulling away after sex. So immediately after orgasm you may experience a loss of the pleasure with your cross-dressing. Of course if you wait a few minutes your cross-dressing interests will return.

As far as having a willing sexual partner reducing the urge to cross-dress: Well, at one time I thought that when I get married I wouldn't need to cross-dress anymore. It was a misconception. The cross-dressing condition is hard-wired in the brain, and it continues to release neurotransmitters whether or not I have a willing sexual partner.

[Seana Summer]

No, my partner is generally accommodating, but when she is not, it dose not appear to affect my dressing as much as other factors.

Maybe there is something wrong with me but there is more to my life than where my next meal coming from and my next "O".

I think part of it may be a silly quest, the challenge of finding the perfect heels in size 15W:lol:

[krissygurl]

It is an interesting thought. But our private life is quite healthy and available at all times for each of us, but it is true, I don't think of "dressing" during the moment, but then again I don't think of dressing one way or another or anything but her at the moment, but when the heat goes down, I am instantly in my mind wanting to be dressed and want to present myself as Krissy although it may always be to myself. :(

[Deedee Skyblue]

I don't know why you put straight in quotes. Do you doubt that there are actually crossdressers who are straight? That's what your title implies.

Deedee

[Miss Lisa]

I don't think it would change a thing... I always try and dress when I can.. And yes after the Big "O" I also find myself not wanting to dress immediatly after but that doesn't last long... The thing holding me back from dressing at the moment is that it's coming into winter here and getting too cold to undress when I do get the chance lol 😳😳

[Bailey420]

I definitely crossdress less when I have a steady girlfriend and regular sex. It probably has a bit to do with not having as much opportunity to do so, as much as not having female companionship and sex as regularly. When I'm single, I tend to crossdress more, and want to go all out. It's like I told my one friend who knows about Bailey:" I'm the best, coolest and funnest girlfriend I could ever imagine myself wanting. I just wish I was a little prettier, lol"

If I ever have a girlfriend who knows, I'm pretty sure how much I want to dress will have alot to do with how much she likes it

[marny]

I think the question is offensive. I'm surprised the moderators didn't toss it.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

There's some merit to what other have said about a temporary loss of interest in CD'ing immediately after the big "O," but we'd have to be having sex an awful lot to eliminate the desire to CD.

Like...hourly.

I will say this - I've notice that on occasions when my wife is dressed in something really nice, or really dressed up, my desire to CD seem to wane a bit. I think my attraction to skirts, heels, makeup, etc. are somewhat satisfied when she's dressed that way. I just like being close to it. But that's not her normal way of dressing (jeans, no make up, is typical), and she's still very pretty even "dressed down" but the CD part of me is always hoping for the "hyper-feminine" look. So, I fill that gap myself!

[PaulaQ]

When I was with my wife, her availability sexually didn't inhibit my cross dressing. My GUILT over cross dressing inhibited it. My FEAR that she'd discover me, inhibited it. So I guess her presence inhibited it - it reduced my opportunities. Honestly, all that was enough to keep me from doing it for 17-18 years. Once it started up again, nah, didn't matter. The same was true in my first marriage.

[Andrea Chenowith]

I don't find the question offensive at all. I'd like to say that if my current partner was a bit more adventurous, a bit more willing to get all dolled up, I would cut out the dressing almost entirely. Such a large part of why I dress is tied up in what I can really only describe as an "out-of-body" experience. When dressing, I imagine myself in the role/persona of my SO dressing up to please me.

But...

A few of my more recent experiences with SAs that have seemed somewhat attracted to the specific act _of_ crossdressing (one tempting nearly to the point of cheating) have me questioning my earlier conviction. A perfect world would have my wife flip a switch to let me test that theory, but as I have to beg to get her to consider wearing attractive bra/panty sets - much less sexy, provocative lingerie or even pantyhose - I don't hold out hope for that.

[Nikki Love]

I like any question that gives me the opportunity to tease out insight. Glad it was allowed.

I have a partner that is always ready willing and able. I find that my sexuality and cross dressing often go hand in hand. I feel sexy wearing those perfect panties. Sometimes I dream of coming home to dress in snug foundation and hose. I find that my partner and I have better communication, tactile interactions and sex when I am dressed as a woman. So I would answer yes to the question 'Is this "CDing thing" a sexual thing for me?.' Yes it is sexual. But so is the scent of leather, the tight fit of a corset, the taste of of a perfectly coated chocolate strawberry, the deep vibration of a vintage well tuned Hiboy pickup……..in other words, so many things in my life are sexual. I am a sexual person. I like to cross dress, and this is all the more enjoyable having a partner who appreciates this twist. I spent many years searching for a partner who appreciated this as well as my other traits I need to express. With prior partners, I was not able to freely express my desires to cross dress, and it was like removing a vowel from the alphabet, and all communication was stunted. So yes, cross dressing is sexual for me, very sexual. I dress more knowing my partner and I both enjoy how it enhances our relationship. We both derive different pleasures form the exchange, and we are both okay with this arrangement.
Nikki

[docrobbysherry]

I've often wondered the same thing, Wild. And, I believe so!

Since I'm single, if I were to hook up with a lady, she would be "new". "New" women have always been exciting for me in the past. And, I assume if she could tear me away from Sherry, she must be exciting!

The real question is: What happens when the newness wears off? Yawn?

[kaylyn]

My girlfriend loves when I dress and finds it as a turn on not to mention we both have very high sex drives and I dress about the same as normal.

[Marcelle]

WAH,

In my case no. My wife and I have a healthy sex life (me en boy during those times). So I would not be dressing less as it is not linked to my sex life.

Hugs

Isha

[Secret Drawer]

No, it matters not whether I self stimulate or my spouse takes care of business. Oh how I wish it were sexual! It would eliminate the frustration, life would be so much simpler... Take clothing, add orgasm, and VALLAH! Wait till next time, repeat. I imagine even this is too simple for a person who identifies as a fetish crossdresser . I know you are passionate about proving your thesis on the sexuality of a crossdresser, but the reason why hundreds of years of professional psychologists have not determined a "causality" is because it is way too complicated. Humans don't have instincts, no two people need act the same way in any given scenario, so the behaviorism theory falls short as well. Take a closer look at gender theory and how some people really do have a non cis gender binary going on.

[Gypsy Sam]

Surprising the number of replies that state it would not deter the desire to dress. Partner participation in dressing is enviable as well. A monogamous relationship usually dampers the female desire for intercourse, and in my case avoidance of intimacy for not wanting to have it lead to intercourse most often. Decades ago the Mrs. would dress to please me, now it's take care of that desire myself. Yes I would indulge less often, but not completely as the imagination is nurtured by creative thinking.

[suchacutie]

Tina appeared just after our 34th wedding anniversary. Tina brought us more mentally intimate, in that we started to discuss topics that hadn't before considered topics of discussion. That has never meant that Tina took the place of physical intimacy. The Tina experience is sensual, no doubt, but if anything, the mental intimacy has been an enhancement that is more of a symbiosis.

[NicoleScott]

Well, sort of.
If "ready, willing, and able" means " spead 'em, no.
I'm attracted to ultra-fem, over-the-top look. If she did that, yes, that would reduce my need to create that look as a CDer.

[Beverley Sims]

Not if she encouraged me, and that is what happened when I was ....."Twenty." :)

It wasn't just one, but it was only one at a time.

I have scruples you know. :)

[Katey888]

Why do I get the feeling there's a touch of obsessiveness about this thesis of connection between sexual gratification and dressing...??

And why would that be such a strong theme that comes out again and again...?? :facepalm:

To answer the question: No - there is no connection for me between a mutual and consensual, loving and sexual activity with my wife (or another loved one, in times past..;)) and expressing my feminine alter-ego.

In the same way as I believe there would be no connection for me between that same mutual act and sexual self-gratification... Just because they happen to result in the same short term, physical event for a GM does not mean that they are the same, by any stretch of even the most vivid imagination.

It may be different for more shallow individuals... :)

Katey x

[Cheryl T]

Originally there was a strong sexual aspect to my dressing, but over time that disappeared and is no longer a factor for me.
As for having a willing and eager partner, I do and as Kim said, I don't dress for sex, no matter how you look at it. This is all about being me and nothing more.

[LilSissyStevie]

I think I have the opposite problem. If she were less "ready, willing and able" I could finally come out of hiding. Who know what I would do with all that spare time.

[samanthasolo]

No less! Certainly yes to the ready willing and able, and more dressing! I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. Lol!

[Lorileah]

I think the question is offensive. I'm surprised the moderators didn't toss it.

it is a legitimate question although maybe not in good taste

In fact I think it is a very bad straw argument. The scenario actually could increase desire for sexual contact. Personally I think it is a moot question

[Nadine Spirit]

Gypsy- Where exactly did you come up with the theory that a monogamous relationships usually dampens the female desire for intercourse? What an odd thought.

I love when people say "males are this way ______" or "females are this way _______" as if we humans could be so easily classified. You all could just simplify the process and say "Some humans are this way _______ "

So WAH to your original point, I am a straight cross dresser, and yes I know I am straight, for an undeniable, unequivocal, been offered many opportunities to not be straight, cross dresser. Oh and yeah, it does not matter one bit how I am dressed, and no none of my fantasies ever involve anything but being with women. I love though how you seem to think that anyone who says they are straight is actually suspect. Okay, so whatever.

Point being, my wife is always willing for whatever, and no it makes no difference to my desires to express my gender. I will repeat what I have said frequently, contrary to your personal beliefs, my Os are not tied to my dressing. Nothing wrong for those that do have that connection, but not all of us do.

Not everything that men do is tied to our insatiable desires to stick it into something.

[Wildaboutheels]

There were quite a few straight CDers who posted to the "How straight of a guy are you" thread. And why wouldn't they? Forum Rules don't prohibit it. The Q WAS posted for everyone. [At least that was how I read it] It was probably silly of me to assume most of the folks who responded to that thread would read some of the other responses in the thread.

[reb.femme]

I was dressing back in my teens whilst I was with my wife and we were very active. So was my desire for dressing, but I was not out to the wife then.
However, the rule of inverse proportionality in this respect (more sex equals less dressing) certainly doesn't apply for me.

Dressing and the solo 'O' were certainly connected from very early on though.

Rebecca

[Veronica Lacey]

Dressing is something that is enjoyable during most any activity. I would even dress during physical intimacy should my wife be okay with it as which genders clothes I wear does not affect/is not affected by sexual availability or appetite. Women partake in sexual congress as do men so it feels normal either way.

Sure, the refractory zone exhibits a muted desire for dressing (male or female attire) but so it is for the desire for most anything else, really. Just lying there for a bit savouring the experience is the usual with most internal human drives come back online in short order.

An interesting thought.

[NicoleScott]

So, Katey, those who connect sexual gratification and dressing are shallow?

[Katey888]

Nope - sorry if that didn't come out clear... :)

The OP implication that a relationship with a partner (that obviously includes a sexual element, but is clearly much, much more) can somehow be equated with dressing that may (or may not) include some sexual gratification... And that therefore more of one could replace the other...?

In my book, someone signs up for that, that's shallow. :straightface:

Katey x

[lovetobedani]

I don't equate the two. Dressing fem is who I am and don't do it for any sexual gratification. Sex for me on the other hand is what I might do with the right GG partner.

[Princess Grandpa]

Before coming to accept this was part of me and that it was ok, I was deep in denial. My dressing was very infrequent, ended as soon as satisfaction was achieved, and yes if I recall only happened during times of sexual draught. Today it's quite different. My dressing isn't about achieving gratification. We were enjoying an active sex life prior to discovery/acceptance. Dressing has enhanced an already sex life.

Hug
Rita

[CrossJess]

Lol can I ask why this topic is only aimed at straight guys??

I've crossdressed since I was 6 and because Ive done it since that age I see it as normal every day life, I crossdress because I just prefer girls clothes over guys stuff I go with what ever makes me feel good.

the only sex connection between me and clothes is in the intimate times if my bf wants me to dress up in something cute.

[StacyLynn]

I wouldn't know as I've only ever had one girlfriend. I didn't dress when I was with her, but we were only together a month and at the time my CDing was pretty low key as I lived with my parents and was either out partying or at the girlfriends having sex lol. Part of me thinks I would because is have someone to share time with. But I don't know if the desire would ever completely go away.

[sissystephanie]

I had a partner/wife for almost 50 year before cancer took her. She knew that I was a CD and actually loved me to be in feminine clothes. My desire to dress was not in the least changed by her, nor would it be by any other partner. I dress enfemme because I like to, and that is all that matters! And by the way, my underwear is almost always enfemme, regardless of what else I have on!

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Your brain is hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. So when you cross-dress your brain goes into action releasing neurotransmitters: dopamine is what provides the urges to seek gratification, sexual or otherwise (its also associated with compulsive behavior), then there is serotonin which is associated with sensations of well-being, happiness, reduces stress, and improves sleep, and then there is oxytocin which is associated with social empathy, trust, bonding, and love. The testosterone is associated with your sex drive.

When you orgasm your dopamine levels drop and your prolactin levels to up. Prolactin is associated with the pulling away after sex. So immediately after orgasm you may experience a loss of the pleasure with your cross-dressing. Of course if you wait a few minutes your cross-dressing interests will return.

Not to beat a dead horse, but I've been thinking about this all day. I don't know if there's real scientific merit to it or not, but it certainly seems to apply to me. Right now I'm struggling with the huge to "indulge" and trying to resist because I know the bad feelings that will follow. What you said about the Prolactin makes a lot of sense to me! I've literally tried to force myself not do undress immediately after, and I can't do it. Once the sexual urge is satisfied, I just feel stupid and weak. Of course, that lasts about 20 minutes! The serotonin rush always keeps me coming back for more. I guess it's kind of an addiction, yeah?

[Adriana Moretti]

wait...I thought all CDers were gay? there are straight ones? no way

[jaymee144]

All of us certainly aren't gay. Clothing has little to do with sexuality for many people here.

At to answer the OP's question, as with a few of the other girls here, I'm in a commited relationship and my girlfriend is fully supportive of this side of me. For me, its been the opposite as you suggest. As I've gotten closer with her and further into our relationship I've tended to dress en femme much more.

Its when I'm single that I find myself shying away from Jaymee

[CrossJess]

wait...I thought all CDers were gay? there are straight ones? no way

No it's a well known fact that guys who crossdress are not gay, it's them exploring their feminine side:) which is a good thing

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, I don't think that anything will make me dress less.

[NicoleScott]

CrossJess, the OP did include others (crooked = not straight, the way I read it).

Katey, thanks for the clarification.

Yes, a relationship would include many things besides sex, but sex is included, and sex sometimes involves crossdressing. The OP poses the question as a choice between crossdressing OR sex with a ready, willing, and able partner. It's never that simple. Still, I was in the minority that answered "yes, sort of".

[Marsha My Dear]

Dressing up has always been a powerful turn on for me. But as my wife has gotten to be a friend and lover of Marsha, I have been able to enjoy being en femme more as an expression of my deep personality. As if it's a true facet of who I am. Especially after being intimate, I love to reval in the afterglow as if I were a girl.

[Athena_]

WAH,

I would agree with many of the other responders that, for me, shortly after intimacy with my wife, I have less of an intrest in cross dressing. This only lasts an hour or so. So, I guess, if we were intimate every hour or so, (wow) I would not have much of a desire to cross dress.

I also have to say that when my wife dresses in an ultra feminine way (very rare), it really drives up my own desire to cross dress. Not sure where all of this places me, but cross dressing and confusion have always gone together for myself.

I guess a follow up question could be: What if your SO was always available and invited you to cross dress during intimacy, would you still want to cross dress as often? This would be a big yes for me. :)

[sometimes_miss]

When I'm in a stable relationship, I don't feel the urge to crossdress. Stress brings it on, or perhaps, the inability to subconsciously suppress the desire isn't successful when there are enough other stressors in my life. I made it without crossdressing for about ten months this past year, but most of the time I was all alone for long stretches, and eventually I gave up. A simple way to put it is, it was kind of like walking around outside without a coat on when it's really too cold; sure, you can force yourself to do it, but why?

[Teresa]

To me Cding has always been sexual, before I married I had two GFs who were willing participants. Dressed or not made no difference to the eventual outcome but it never altered my need to CD, possibly the more I got of one the more I wanted of the other !

[Renee Elise]

No connection at all. While getting dressed up can (and very often is ;) ) be a turn on, when I've been with women my thoughts have generally been totally focused on them and never really wandered into that other part of my psyche. Both very different types of experiences and motivators...very rich and sensual but special in their own way. Though you girls that are able to share your femme sides with your ladies are very lucky, as that must open up a whole other dimension to dressing...

[Sc0rp10N]

There IS a connection here for me... If my wife had kept the same pace with me we had the first 4 of our 7 years together during the past 3 years, I may not have ever cross dressed or it may have taken me much longer to try it, being that I would have been more satisfied with our activities. I think a big part of me choosing this path is that the femininity was missing in our relationship to some degree. Marriages are a work in progress though, and I'm eternally optimistic. Usually, to a fault. (not meaning I want the cd-Ing to go away now, cuz I like it, but meaning I hope the same level of heat comes back someday). ;-)

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

In my case, I am a gender male. However, my personality is very female, and I feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. Now, as I said in another thread, I am diabetic, and the nerve damage associated with it has changed my sexual responses, to the point where I do not have a male orgasm, but I can get close, which means I can have several near-orgasms, which is closer to a female sexual response, the repetition.

What this means for me is that I date men, and in sexual encounters I play the role of the woman .. so it's sorta straight sex with a man.

If you find this weird, please let me know. Given that I posted this, I am certainly not offended by talking about sex. There are some who have thought the subject was offensive, but sexuality is as much a part of being a crossdresser as the clothing.


Amy M. Jackson

[Alice B]

I think for many of us it starts out that way, but is not the reason we dress. After time it becomes less so as we better realize that dressing is something that is necessary. Yet for me and many others, I think, the reasons are not fully understood, but something that is necessary to express are needs.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

To be clear, I don't dress up because of the sex. I dress up because I have a burning desire
to wrap myself in female clothing and present myself as the woman I feel I am.

I simply continue to express my woman during sex, by dating men, and engaging in bi sex.
But the two are somewhat separated.


Amy M. Jackson

[missmars]

Dressing and sex are different desires. But I dress less in this situation if my spouse or gf do not want my dressing.

[Jess84]

As a very casual dresser, it doesn't change my desires at all. Pretty much...

[herwannabe]

It would not deter my desire to dress nor deter me from dressing period I am what I am, like what I like,

[Frédérique]

IF you had a partner that was always ready, willing and able, is it possible you would "dress less"?

When I had a partner who was ready, willing, and able, and I was VERY fortunate to have a partner like that, I didn’t dress AT ALL. Once we broke up, I resumed my dressing…
:battingeyelashes:

[cindychan]

For me dressing is more sexual/sensual when i dress sexy in lingerie. When I wear reg girl clothes its not as much.

[janetcgtv]

Amy:
what's weird about ? I love being the woman with a man.

[missVS]

For me I do dress as female more when I am single but I think it is somewhat normal due to time and other factors. I have only had 1 woman I dressed up with years ago so don't really know how that would be now. I read article recently that basically most CD people dress up to look like the partner they want. Well it works for me and I have a orgasmic time with myself and my female look. It seems they are better and better as I dress more seductive and get better and more real. New lingerie and heels always helps also. Of course as mentioned with such strong orgasm comes very quick me turning off the stimulation and video to recover. People here have also said here that the sexual feeling when crossdressing goes away after a while well not for me yet and I hope it doesn't ever. I always watch beautiful woman in videos and there will never be a stop to new ones yea I love the internet. So this is from a straight CD'er who at this stage in life will probably never be gay and have no desire. I even went shopping today for clothes with my daughter and I mean female clothing like skirts and blouses. This was a first and I liked it.

[latex-steph]

I am different from a lot of post I've read on this forum in that for me dressing is sexual. I've always been turned-on by lesbian scenes and in my mind when I'm dressed during sex it allows me to somewhat play out the fantasy that I could never truly have. Fortunately, my girlfriend is very accepting of cd's and I've been experimenting dressing during non-sexual times to see how far the 'non-fetish' aspect goes for me.

[JennaGirl]

For me, I love the feeling of a dress, slip, bra, cami, women's shorts, pants much more than any of my male clothes. I find women's clothing much more comfortable and relaxing.

[mechamoose]

I'm lucky enough to have a partner who *likes* my girl, almost as much as she likes my guy side.

As Bi/Pan, I'm used to overlooking what someone was born with. If I like them, I don't *care* what bits they have.

"Gender" is a label. You can put that kind of sticky paper anywhere.

Fit where you fit. I hope you all kind find someone who *gets* you.

<3

- MM

[LelaK]

What's all the WAH business? I looked it up and I see it's supposed to mean "working at home", but what the heck does that have to do with anything here? Should it be SAH, for sex at home?

Anyway, my dressing doesn't sexually stimulate me much. I usually don't dress when I masturbate. The clothes just get in the way. I do sometimes dream of having sex by climbing into a dress that a woman is already wearing. It would have to be a stretchy dress (but also frilly and satiny or silky).

I do like to look and feel sexy in a feminine way. I like to say that MtF crossdressers have good taste. We like beauty. I guess the brain mixes that up with sex sometime.

[Acastina]

I can confirm that it is at least partly a sexual thing for at least one of us (sexual gratification is certainly not the only reason I dress).
I have a partner that is always willing, ready and able, have had for years - it doesn't seem to have reduced my desire to dress one bit. I will say however, that my desire goes down a bit after the big "O". Comes right back though.

Male sexual desire in general "goes down a bit after the big 'O'", then "comes right back". Why would it be different for those of us whose sexuality involves crossdressing? Not the only reason, as you say, but an important part it it's a part at all.

In fact, I would suggest that it's that post-O sag, when the heightened feelings are spent, where the guilt feelings and vowing never to CD again have their moment of prominence in our psyches. As anyone who has ever used cocaine can tell you, the high is followed by a low, and the trick is learning how to ride out the low by understanding that it's temporary. Those who can do that can use without addiction; those who can't stand the low get high again and become addicted.

In many ways, sex mimics that high/low cycle, albeit legally and without the danger of true chemical addiction. It's brain chemistry.

[khaleesie]

Absolutely not. In fact, my wife is ALWAYS willing and able and could 'do that' till it killed me. LOL

While some dress for sexual gratification, I'm not one of them. I dress because of the way it makes me feel, it completes me...

I will say that I used to remove my 'clothes' right after intimacy, but only because I felt guilty abut dressing. Now that my wife is much more accepting, I'm dressed most of the time while at home (not while doing outside chores, but I'm always under-dressed).

[Desirae]

I "dressed less", meaning not at all, when I was in love with my ex. It has always been that way with me. Of course there was very regular intercourse, but that really had nothing to do with it. Actually, my ex was pretty much a nymph and wanted it as much as I did. Even when the relationship started turning "rocky", there was still pretty normal sex between us. When the fighting kept on going, started getting worse, and the frequency increased, I started falling out of love. That's when I started dressing again. It was like this in other past relationships for me, too. At the beginning of our relationship, before I fell in love with her, I was still crossdressing even as we were having sex 3 or more times a day and a lot of the time it was more than that.

[Laura28]

For me at least now in my life dressing is not really sexual, it does relax me and the desire is much stronger when i am stressed. I travel a lot and love to dress in my hotel room but there is not sexual relaese because i am dressed but as i said i feel so much more relaxed and i get a kind of clarity in my mind. I do find my self drawn to looking at myself and taking many pics when dressed which i never do in drab??? I think it is mostly do to me wanting to improve my look and look more fem.
I will say this my wife likes when we do the dirty deed that i wear thi highs and panties sometimes and i enjoy it as well but it doesnt do anything differnt then when we are sexual and i am in drab.

My wife and i have been together for over 38 years and i just want to know were all of you got wifes who are always willing LOL.

[Brianna_H]

What this means for me is that I date men, and in sexual encounters I play the role of the woman .. so it's sorta straight sex with a man.

Amy, I'm bisexual. I don't find this weird at all. It sounds awesome! I'm jealous.

I just don't think we fit into the "straight" adjective highlighted into the thread title. ;) Even though I had an idea of the demographics before I came here, I'm still surprised at the number of straight cross-dressers. I guess those of us who are attracted to men are more likely to go for the full transition? I dream about being female, but I don't despise my own plumbing enough to have surgery.

Thanks for your candor. I'd love to chat with you more some time.

[mikiSJ]

Slicing and dicing the question:

If we see crossdressing as a sub-spectrum of gender, then there are CDers who dress for fetishistic reasons and CDers who dress simply to look like a woman.

There was a time when I would put on lingerie and jump in bed with my spouse. Now, as someone who considers herself to be TG. I want to UNDRESS (from girl to naked) to have an intimate time with my spouse.

[Davida Kay]

My SO and I enjoy frequent sex and strong libidos. So far we have not risked losing the moment for a change of wardrobe or character. So generally we "come as we are at the moment." Then there are some occasions, my favorite, when we dress up for the occasion. So far, not a dull moment.

[alexakennard]

I've seen several statements on here that I agree with. First, I have a fiancé and a very steady sex life. We are both willing and able all the time. However, someone above made a statement about dressing up to what you wish your SO dressed like. That's how I kind of dress. I wear heels and sexy lingerie. My fiancé despises heels and I find them incredibly attractive. Also, I kind of treat my dressing as an out-of-body experience. I imagine a girl that I want to be and then I become her.

Obviously with a steady sex life, it doesn't deter my dressing. I use it for more than just sexual satisfaction. I love the way I feel when I'm dressed. I'm happy and confident.

Also, to add to the straight debate.. I am 100 percent straight physically, but when I'm dressed I find myself attracted to some men. It's part of the female experience I guess. I don't consider myself even remotely attracted to men en drab though.

[Cara Lacey]

She is always willing and able, but I still dress a lot. Some times we have sex while I am dressed, but usually not.

[DeeMNCD]

No - it doesn't decrease the desire / need to dress in the least. As with some others, for a brief time after intimacy, the desire to dress goes down but then it comes right back.

[jenny_cd]

To be honest, it probably would, but sadly, that is not the case. But it is also NOT the reason I began dressing. My curiosity was sparked just because I befriended a ts lady in a chatroom several years ago, and chat led to friendship, which led to me asking a million dumb questions that she never tired of answering...and not to offend anyone that struggles with emotional issues about it....but I just thought it would be fun. I do feel sexy when I dress, and freely admit that I have had some naughty adventures as Jenny.

[BethanyAnn]

I'm one of those "crooked" crossdressers and there isn't much connection at all for me. Still feel sexy after the big O and have no desire to change clothing (or makeup and wig as it were...lol).
Bethany

[amandagurl2014]

A ready partner lightens the edge a little, but the desire to dress always comes back.

[flutterby]

I am not sure how you got by with this question, but I am glad the mods let it slide.
I always wear ladies undergarments and keep my legs and what not smooth, toe nails painted, and even wear a toe ring. So whether it shows or not I am always "dressed" a bit. I can only speak for myself but my dressing REALLY turns my wife on! She is bi so that could be the reason, but to answer the question neither sex nor any other aspect of our relashionship lessens my desire to dress. It is my only constant! lol What I can't figure out why I have ZERO atraction to males unless I am dressed. While the type of men I am attracted to may be reffered to as more "fem" than masculine, all it takes is one compliment, and I melt. lol

[JustAlex]

I have sex while cding. Having a female sexual partner never changed the way I feel about cding. In fact, I wear more when I'm going to have sex. I usually underdress, daily. When I have plans for a sexy night a dress in full. A lot more to take out, slowly, one piece at a time. Dresses fall in a very sexy way. Pants... not so much.