For those that consider yourselves Loners.

[Wildaboutheels]

And of course, I will make no attempt to define Loner. It would be a silly thing to argue over.

Do you think that makes it harder or easier to be a CDer?

[reb.femme]

On a personal note, maybe it's easier if you have no SO to answer to, if that is the correct definition? Without my wife though, I would feel cut off insofar that I would have no-one to ask for help and/or receive constructive criticism from. This is a double edged sword but I think I fall on the side of not being a loner because of my wife and sons, but outside of my local group, I not out to anyone else, so a loner in that respect.

Am I contradicting myself?

Rebecca

[femaletrouble]

i would consider myself a loner (but this is more down to my social anxiety) but i like my own company then i can dress to my hearts content without havin to sneak it in ...i find bein a loner i can do my own thing which with perhaps having a S,O around would not tolerate,

[Teresa]

To many CDing is a solitary activity and it's very easy to cut yourself with it and become a loner. I along with others would love to share it, I would give anything to openly share it with my wife and she knows that and she is aware that I don't want it to be a barrier to my feelings for her .
Whether being a loner makes it harder or easier is difficult to say, most of us take the opportunity to do when we can. I guess if I was alone I would try and get out more when dressed because you have no one to answer to and no one to embarrass.

[NicoleScott]

I'm not sure if I'm a loner or not. Let me ask my friends. Wait - I don't have any.

I'm probably less outgoing than if I didn't CD. I have always enjoyed my alone time, CDing or not.

[Alice Torn]

My father prides himself at being a lifetime loner. He is 93 now. I was a bit of a picked on, bullied loner, as a kid, but did have friends- maily other loners,a nd kids from dysfunctional families. I did eventually go out for baseball, played sandlot sports a lot, went to a what was considered a cult church, played softball, and basketaball, went to 12 step meetings, but did not crossdress seriously, until 2005, at age 51. I was not a total loner, but, my dressing has contributed to my isolation again, i would say. I have told only few freinds, and they are now 2000 miles away. Where i live now, iam considered a strange, odd loner by my neighbors, who have teenage boys. I was a bit of a loner before my dressing took off, and i would say, a RELUCTANT LONER, as i like living alone now. I had roommates for years. I have not attended services at the unusual minority in beliefs church in four years, and my 12 step group here, was phased out, as too few showed up. My sisteris 65, severe speech impediment, and some emotional illness, and a loner. A brother in prison- a loner. None of us are married or have SO's. Mom never wanted any of her kids to marry. My dad had his wish. All loners.

[lovetobedani]

I tend to be more of a solitary than a loner. To me loaner means that you don't want as little interaction with others as possible. Being solitary is just because I tend not to "fit" well with most others and I don't know weather being a CD has to do with it or not.

[linda booth]

Now that I'm retired I finally see being a loner as a plus. I can dress to my hearts content. I no longer have a girlfriend, so I don't even have to hide my wardrobe - I'm expanding it.

[ronny0]

Other than my SO (GF) I fit the bill for being a loaner / solitary person.....
As for making it easier / harder IMO their is no one answer.
As a loaner you can do what ever you feel up to doing when ever you want.
But if I were not a loaner:
And had friends that also were CD or supported it, then much Easier....
But if I had friends that I had to hide CD from or were not supportive then Harder.....

I sort of feel everyone on this forum would enjoy having some (or many) supportive friends......
Otherwise we would not be at this site, Would We?

[Barbara Dugan]

I always surrounded by people but I feel alone I guess is easier

[CrossJess]

The only time I was a real loner was when I was in my teens and mid twenties I was very much a loner as I was always single I think it came from being so heavily bullied at school for being different it's kind of makes you not fit in, I was still living at home and kept my self to my self I had no friends etc because I was scared I thought no one would ever love me let alone be friends with me, I suppose in some ways being a loner has it's rewards in the fact you have no one to answer to and you could do what ever you want at least that's what I thought at the time, but even though I was still living with my parents then they were fully aware that crossdressing was who I am so wondering around the house dressed as a girly was nothing new to them, I don't like keeping secrets I prefer it all out in the open.

So now that I'm in my 30s and now living together with my lovely bf I feel totally different to that of my 20s I no longer want to be a loner, when your with someone in a relationship that went through the same crap as you it's really helps you as a person and you both hit off each other and you blossom as an individual you learn to not give a crap what people think anymore and more able to tackle those who take it upon them selves to hurt you, more importantly the feeling of wanting to be alone almost seems like a nightmare now when I think about it, there is no way I would want to be on my own now.

[Christen]

Very probably it would makes it easier, .. but so much lonelier, and this is a lonely pastime at best for many of us.

[Lori Kurtz]

For me, I think the process was the other way around: I was a crossdresser first, and that aspect of my personality is what helped make me a loner. I always knew that my CDing was something that needed to be kept secret. There was always a fear that someone would somehow discover or figure out my secret, so I knew I always had to be careful. That made it hard for me to open up to others and feel comfortable in social settings. Would I have been this much of a loner if I weren't a crossdresser? There is no way for me to know for sure, but I think that fear was always a huge factor in how I related to other people.

[Tracii G]

Worked most of my life on the road so I like being alone 99% of the time.

[Beverley Sims]

Loner to me means being an individual.

I do prefer my own company and the company of my wife.

You travel for three months and see what you talk to.

The television, traffic signals, signs, shop assistants, the hotel staff and sometimes your wife. :)

Oh! Definitely easier.

[Michelle789]

I find that I need both time alone and time with people. As I get out en femme more and involved with the TG community, the more I need to get out and socialize. Even then, I still need some time alone. But not as badly as I used to, when I needed time alone just to CD in private.

[KaceyR]

I've always been a loner for the most part. Social anxieties, inability to communicate well face-to-face if the anxiety was high, or in need of a good argument/debate. Pretty much the last 17-18 years has been alone, with shut down social activity. I only dated a few times back in '84... I get real tired and deal with depression about all of this too.
But all of a sudden now that Kacey's shown up, I've broken thru a lot of anxieties and actually gotten closer to the friends I have, I've gotten out more (unfortunately being limited by $resources...anyone got any winning lottery numbers?) and overall it's been great. Not saying Kacey's helping in the dating dept, but still putting myself out there like this has kind of opened up my floodgates on a lot of things (speaking out, sexual expression, others). Still think I need some good therapy to really deal with a lot of things now...and whether how much of this is due to working thru Kacey-fears or just all timing right at the time in my life where I just am not giving a dang what others think anymore due to age/mid life or whatever.. Can't say. Probably a bit of both. But I'm now going ahead and grabbing for that coaster now instead of cowering in its shadows at the parks...Well figuratively anyways. Still don't like coasters :)

[noeleena]

Hi.

I would look at this with two sides to it,

I can be by my self and not talk with any one for days weeks . and not be bothered at all.

even though i was more of a loner years ago and prefered my horse's and other animales i was quite happy,

the 2nd side is .

Over the last ill say about 16 years and more the last 8, iv been in the public eye joined many groups and as you know with in our membership of over 1000 people theres no time to be a loner let alone now if i go away for a week im being asked after,

oh heck i cant even get away and im asked where you been others are asking, so i tell every one of all my plans and like my trip over to Austraila i make sure they all know this time of 6 weeks.

so would you say im a loner more like not because i have so many really lovely neat friends who wont to know im okay,

Oh by the way how could i be a loner any way, ......

...noeleena...

[Loni]

loner just imply's not many to have around you.

i am almost a hermit, by this standard.


.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, Only my DA--DT wife knows about my dressing and I don't go out I guess that I'm a loner.

[Ressie]

If one CDs openly it probably doesn't make any difference. For those like me that are secretive about it, being alone helps to keep it a secret.

I work alone, I sleep alone, I live alone. I rarely hang out with friends (aquaintences?) now days. I wasn't so much of a loner when I was younger, but CDing back then was nearly nonexistent.

[Kate Simmons]

It would depend on our personal situation I guess. If we have no one else to account to, I'd have to say easier.:)

[WhisperTV]

Easier. If I had been in a serious relationship I never would have even tried cross dressing.

[docrobbysherry]

How can we be social when we spend every moment of our free time either dressing in front of our mirror or camera? Or, planning and/or shopping for our next session?:battingeyelashes:

[Jaymees22]

I think of myself as a loner but not lonely. I'm just as happy being alone or out with others. I feel more happy dressed but not unhappy when I'm not. :)

[Ally 2112]

I do have freinds but it can be months between visiting them .I live alone and have gotten quite used to it and like having my own space .So i guess you could call me a partime loner

[Crossdressersquirks]

Yes, I'd consider myself a loner and I think this has made starting with crossdressing easier for me. With nobody really close to you, there's nobody to judge you and nobody stopping you from doing things that might be considered weird.
Over the last few months, I've become less of a loner though, which is why I started looking into coming out to someone. With not much alone-time anymore, crossdressing has gotten a lot harder, and I find myself getting frustrated from time to time when I feel the need to crossdress, but don't have the opportunity to do so.