Just...why?

[Manwithabra]

So I've been reading a lot on this site, and a subject that often comes up is "why?"

I'm sure I'm not first person to posit this, but why do we CD? I'm talking specifically about those who are male, who feel male, but dress to feel female anyway. What types of feelings drive this feeling? If we don't feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body, nor do we all feel like it's a sexual/fetish thing, then why do we dress?

I've actually been wrestling with this line of thought for a while here. Because I don't fully understand it. Thoughts?

-Nicole

[Laura912]

You might wish to do a search on the site about this question.

[Chari]

Each of us has a particular idea or goal they hope to accomplish, which is why IMO there are probably as many reasons to "dress" as there are CDers! Enjoy.

[Manwithabra]

Yeah it probably would have been easier to search. Derp. Ignore me then.

-Nicole

[BeckyAnderson]

It wouldn't make a difference to me as crossdressing is as much a part of me as an arm or leg.

Personally, I believe crossdressing is "instinct" for many of us.

Full Definition of INSTINCT1: a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity <had an instinct for the right word>


2a : a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason
b : behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level

I feel that crossdressing is more of a genetic thing or, at least, something that happened to us prior to exiting the womb, therefore beyond our control.

These are only my thoughts and not meant to be provoke argument.

Hugs,
Becky

[Jorja]

Why does the sun shine? Why does the moon give off a romantic glow? Why ask why? Just go with it and enjoy it and ask, why not? ;)

[CrossJess]

I defiantly feel like a girl in a mans body, always have, then again I have no desire to go the full gender change because this mans body that I'm in is a good one and comes in very handy at times when you want a guy to do something around the house i just ask my self haha jking, joking aside I've worked hard to get it looking girly and I'm happy and it's all about working around the hand I've been dealt, I hope that when I eventually leave this world ill take on the female with in.

Some people crossdress because they just want to dress different from the others, for me I dress because I love girls stuff

[kimdl93]

Why does the sun go on shining,
Why does the sea meet the shore,

Why doe my heart go on beating,
Why does the moon shine above....

A silly song from skeeter Davis. Yes I am that old!

But to your point, this question has been asked at least once weekly here for the four years I've been in the site. There are a number of answered based in valid research and and infinite number of silly conjectures. I won't bother repeating them all. It's sufficient to say that there is a strong likelihood that the predisposition to CDing has genetic and developmental (meaning after conception) hormonal influences in the womb. Mom may or may not have wished for a girl...

[BLUE ORCHID]

:daydreaming:Hi MWAB, If I have to explain it to you , then you probably understand it anyway.:daydreaming:

[mechamoose]

Because we don't feel at home in our own skin.

- MM

[Alice Torn]

I think , that after having twin boys, my parents were definitely hoping for another girl, as their first child was. I think the karma of wanting a girl had an effect on me, being prone to this.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

MWB-- why do we dress ??? I believe that there is a biological link that has caused us to have varying degrees of gender disphobia. It is not an addiction , it is not behavioral nor can it be controlled with behavior tactics nor is it a hobby . Melissa is a part of my soul and she needs expression . Many times I wish that there was a pill or a shot to relieve me of her, but the truth is , one cannot rip part of one's soul away by taking a pill or a shot. My advise to you my friend is to accept the feminine part of your soul and let her live without shame or regret. I hope you find harmony & inner peace, mel

[Adriana Moretti]

Why Not ?

[Rachael Leigh]

You will get as many answers to crossdress as there are crossdressers. I've worked through so many reasons I've lost count. I really love expressing myself as a girl but don't want to be one so it's hard to figure out.
I gave up trying to figure it out but sure wish I did have some answer or what triggered it all.

[eileendover]

Hi Nicole,

First, map out your entire DNA sequence, then measure the exact quantities of all the various hormones in you that might affect your masculine/feminine behavior. Next, catalog and evaluate all of the gender-related cultural influences you have been exposed to over the years, both real-life and from every medium. Finally, record your autonomic responses to various cross-gender issues and track those over time. Sorry, but I've temporarily lost the actual formula (I think it's somewhere in my lingerie drawer).
But there you have it!

hope this helps!

[Beverley Sims]

When you were a little girl, didn't your parents tell you not to ask why? :)

Oh! You were a little boy? :)

Why do people keep asking why?

Why weren't you born a girl? :)

[Wildaboutheels]

The simplest thing is to simply consider/look up Pavlov and his dogs. [if you aren't familiar with it] That will get you pointed in the right direction. It's also pretty easy to see which threads receive the most attention, over and over again.

And of course there are also all those "other" "bad" CDing sites that don't seem to be so family oriented as this one. You probably drove by a whole slew of them on your way in here?

I'm going to hazard a wild guess that unless you are "fiftyish", you probably do not have an amazing collection of granny dresses and flats either? They are not nearly as useful as other types of women's clothing.

[Kaz]

I found giving this side of me a name and accepting her as a friend very helpful. So Kaz is with me every day and is not only a part of me but a very dear friend. I don't ask why anymore...

[Marcelle]

Hi Nicole,

I stopped trying to figure it out because there are too many nurture/nature explanations out there of which most are grounded in tenuous grasps on science. Specifically there is no true body of literature which can point us in any direction. Besides "cause" implies "cure" and cure implies there is something wrong with us. I tend to believe I do what I do because that is just part of me and as such, I just embrace and accept. Some people might not like, others might think it is weird and some may even be hostile about it. However, I am not going to look for an explanation as to why I dress like a boy so I won't for why I dress like a girl. :):battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Nicole - you are not the first by a country mile to ask this question...

Although you may have been reading a lot it's probably not enough - I think the truth is in there, somewhere, amongst the terabytes of meanderings we all make here... and it's BIOLOGICAL

If a 5 or 6 year old boy puts on a girls hat and likes it, it has sweet Felicity Arkwright to do with conditioning and Pavlov and his furry friends - in my book it must be innate - but we simply don't know enough about the complexity of what makes up human personality to identify a simple why. It's probably a complex 'why', in fact, like the complexities of other psychological conditions.

I have been told and taught why we get warmth from the sun - but if you start thinking too much about why and how that really happens, and how light can exert pressure (similar principle to the good ole H-bomb), and how the sun converts 600 million tons of hydrogen to helium every second, well, that's blown my mind and my day thinking...

So - on the sound principle of "If it isn't something you can influence, don't worry too much about it" - enjoy your day. :)

And the next time this comes up, can someone at least use 'wherefore' rather than 'why'? It's so much more poetic... ;)

Katey x

[Dena]

It wouldn't make a difference to me as crossdressing is as much a part of me as an arm or leg.

Personally, I believe crossdressing is "instinct" for many of us.

Full Definition of INSTINCT1: a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity <had an instinct for the right word>


2a : a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason
b : behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level

I feel that crossdressing is more of a genetic thing or, at least, something that happened to us prior to exiting the womb, therefore beyond our control.

These are only my thoughts and not meant to be provoke argument.

Hugs,
Becky

I like this, thanks Becky!

For me, it started from exploring the different fabrics and sensations of girls clothing. There was noting like it in my boy's wardrobe. I tried it and I liked it!

[CynthiaD]

I feel like a woman in a woman's body. But for some inexplicable reason, my female body has some male attributes. Probably an accident of birth, but ultimately, not very important.

For me the question isn't "why do some men want to be women?" The real question is "why are some women born with male attributes?"

[Cheryl T]

Take a look at the other topic "What caused you to crossdress".

[DonnaT]

I consider it to be a characteristic I was born with, and was awakened by one or two events in my life.

This falls under the umbrella of being trans, to some degree; there is no one way to be trans.

[julia marie]

No easy answer, so we either accept it and enjoy, or we stress about it. Some factors that I have seen in my personal case: curiosity about what it's like to be a woman (I know, we can experience only a tiny fraction of what they do); release to wear bright colors and new fabrics; rebellion against what society says we should do; desire to break down the gender barriers; possible latent homo/bisexual feelings;strive to look pretty (not happening); and something I can't define. That's a start, but I think everyone here has different driving forces.

[Kate Simmons]

One answer seems to come to my full spectrum mind: "Days of Future Past". Everything happens for a reason my friend. It's not really necessary to know the full reason to go with it. :battingeyelashes::)

[Confucius]

Ah Manwithbra, have you ever heard of the "cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia" theory. It explains it all.

Stage One: Biology/ Synaptogenesis
When you were a wee little baby your brain was making between 700-1000 neural connections per second! Really. So by the time you were three years old your brain had many more synapses than an adult. Then when you are still very very little, you begin learning and experiencing your world. Neural pruning begins and where there are connections that don't make sense - they are pruned. Learned associations reinforce other connections.

Stage two: Environmental Factors/Psychology
We are all exposed to environmental factors when we grow up. Some of us are bullied. Some of us are told we should have been born a girl. Some of us are taught to be strong, tough, suck it up, and never cry. Girls are valued simply because of their appearance. Girls have it better in life than boys. If we grow up thinking that life is hard because we are boys, and if we were girls then life would be so much better, and our mothers would love us more. In any case, there is usually some way we over-valued females, and didn't care much for male virtues. In my case I had a sister who was favored by my mother and I was a sensitive, clingy baby who craved my mother's attention. My mother would treat my sister like a princess, which I was usually told that my mother wanted a girl when I was born.

At this stage synesthesia takes place. Synesthesia is a neurological phenomenon in which activiation in one sensory pathway leads to automatic,and involuntary experiences in a second sensory pathway. In this case you have a sensory pathway associated with identifying the female gender (mom, and other females), and another for experiencing contact with females.

Stage 3: The Trigger is set
Okay, now your brain is hard wired. Then for whatever reason you experiment with some feminine clothing. It hits you. Your brain interprets cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. If you have reached puberty and have high levels of testosterone then this will be a sexual experience. Testosterone provides your sex drive. When your brain registers "contact with a female" it releases a host of neurotransmitters and these neurotransmitters produce the sensations of well-being, pleasure, gratification, bonding, etc. The neurotransmitter, dopamine, is response for urges, the driver, which is seeking gratification and a reward stimulus. It is also associated with compulsive/additive behavior. Serotonin is the neurotransmitters which produces a sense of well-being, happiness, comfort, contentment, etc. Then there is oxytocin. Oxytocin is the love neurotransmitters, responsible for social empathy, trust, and bonding. All these neurotransmitters are involved in your cross-dressing.

[sometimes_miss]

Rather than tell you to search for reasons, let's just say that there are a lot of different reasons why we prefer to wear clothes of the opposite sex. Whatever your reason is, is just as valid as anyone else's. The biggest problem seems not of self acceptance, but for the heterosexuals of us, it's finding a female mate who is accepting of our choice to wear the clothes, and emulate females.

[WhisperTV]

Stage 1: Tried it.
Stage 2: Liked it.
Stage 3: Need Sugar Daddy to pay for all this stuff. j/k :D

[missmars]

I think various kinds of paternal habit are the origin of crossdressing.

[adrienner99]

I doubt I will ever understand The Big Why, but neither will I ever stop trying. I do recall a time when I was a teenager. I had on my mother's three inch heels and a yellow silk evening gown, and I was at her vanity putting on her Revlon Cherries in the Snow lipstick. I recall thinking: This is right. This is me. This is who I am. To this day, nothing brings me such a combinations of peace and excitement as does dressing up like a girl.

[Roxie]

my personal belief is that CDers are born with a certain amount of female hormones ,some have more than others. but if you think about it I know I have a lot of female in me.Not sure how others feel about it ,but something triggers the desire to dress. Having a little bit woman inside might explain why we do what we do.
Roxie

[Christen]

How about - I'm a very tactile and sensuous person and .. nah! that doesn't work. It is the perennial question with the perennial answer, we don't really know. But personally I'd forget Pavlov.

Christen x

[Tanya+]

I had a distant uncommunicable dad and a needy mum, when i was 3 i was in love with her and i used to be with her as she dressed, she showed me how to put socks as she put on her pantyhose. but that was the only part of her i wanted to emulate.

Then one time when i was 5 a little girl dressed me in her dress, i was so embarrassed about being 'caught' i had a big emotion about it. then i would play dress ups at my friend's place until i stopped getting invited.

So maybe because it was taboo and maybe my gender modelling was bit skewed. I'm trying to cancel this out of my parenting.

[EllenJo]

Why do I dress in women's clothes? Just lucky I guess.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Betty-Lou]

Because it feels so so right. And beautiful. And fulfilling. And complete. And sexy. And wholesome. And femme. And... and... and...