First attempt.

[Catfishthepirate]

This last Monday I worked up the courage to go to khols in fem.

I had on my wig, flats, and a black maxi dress.

I was so scared when I got there I sat in the car for what felt like an hour.

I got out of the car, walked into khols (in one door) and walked right out the other set of doors. I so wanted to go shop.

I was too frightened though.

Any guidance to overcome this fear.

CTP

P.S. How I dress in fem is different, message me if your curious.

[kimdl93]

well that's a first step. Maybe next time you'll stop to check the sale racks!

[Rachael Leigh]

The best way to confront it is just go for it, jump in feet first hold your head hi and don't worry what people see or think. It's just clothes it's not like your naked

[jaymee144]

I had these same fear for so long, the most I ever did was drop off a redbox movie but recently I tried just throwing on some confidence (and a cute dress) and braved the world. Its exhilarating and scary but so worth it. You'll see how few people seem to care (except children, they're the worst) and you'll have a new found confidence :)

[Catfishthepirate]

As I stated how I dress is alittle different fem. I had this little girl Monday totally staring at me. Then her and her mother started talking in Spanish. One of those times I wish my Spanish speaking was up to par.

[Beverley Sims]

Just walk in again and you will eventually forget how you are dressed.

[Lillyasia]

You already got pass the hardest part, and that is getting out of the house. I would consider your first trip out a success even though you did not buy anything. It gets easier with each outing. On your next trip out, stop and do some shopping in the store.

[Barbara Maria]

I commend you.That's farther than I ever got,or probably ever will,not that I wouldn't like to.

[Diversity]

Take one step at a time. Congratulate yourself for taking this first step! If this makes you feel any better - I have yet to get as far as you have. Stories like the one you just posted are giving me the courage to take the next step. Thank you (and others) for sharing such posts.
Di

[MissTee]

Welcome Catfish. Looks like you are new here.

I'm curious about how you are dressed? If I have to PM you to learn that, it makes me wonder if perhaps how you dress would be considered disrespectful in public.

[stephNE]

I think you already know the answer. You have to just do it. Look at yesterday as a good first step, and next time stay a little longer. You will get used to it, I promise!

[Jorja]

It can take a lot of courage to walk into a store or even be seen by someone for the first time. Don't beat yourself up, you tried. Next time you will. I does get easier the more you try. The next thing you know you will have a huge credit card bill to pay off. ;)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi CFP, Just getting out of the car and walking around was a big thing.

[Katey888]

I'm curious about how you are dressed? If I have to PM you to learn that, it makes me wonder if perhaps how you dress would be considered disrespectful in public.

Firstly, well done for doing a big part of what you wanted to do... :cheer: But more importantly, like MissTee, I'm sooo curious too...

Surely it can't be so outrageous that you can go out in public but not show us here.... :battingeyelashes: A small post in the gallery, or just your profile pic if you wanted to be more discreet... :)

Curiosity is a terrible thing left unsated...

Katey x

[Sarasometimes]

Catfish,
Been there got the cap sleeved tee, too. Taking on a Kohl's for your first time takes guts. You may want to try smaller more quiet stores or places. Dress Barns are usually very good to us but I would call first and see about yours. The key is for you to have positive experiences. Also when I first ventured out i tried to dress like the otherGG's to blend better. Glad to hear you took those first steps, good luck!

[CynthiaD]

Next time go with a specific goal in mind, like "I'm going to find some pink jeans in my size." Focus on your goal, and ignore anything else. Once you get to the section where the pink jeans would be (if they have any), it's no big deal to look at the other stuff too. If you find something you like, don't think about it. Buy it. Just don't think about what you're doing. Once you get home, you can think to yourself, "Well, I did that, and it was no big deal." After a while you'll get so you go anywhere you want.

[julia marie]

Kohls is a good place to revisit. I go fairly often and never have had an issue. Two things to keep in mind there: They have lots of discount racks with good prices (not well organized in terms of size and style but you can browse; everyone does it). Second, if you want to try something on, the Kohls stores that I go to don't have the "dressing room police" the employees checking out what you are bringing in, etc. , and there's plenty of private dressing rooms. Finally, the sales clerks there don't bite, and they a quick with the "ma'am" greeting which will make you feel great.
Give it another try, and enjoy!

[Farrah]

Congrats on the accomplishment. Go to the gas station and get out to pump your gas to build confidence. ;)

[Catfishthepirate]

How I dress isn't disrespectful in public. Its just different. And I have been told that I cant talk about it on open forums. Per the rules. I don't want to get into anymore trouble.

[TinaZ]

Oh, this is funny! I wrote about it in another thread, but Monday was my first attempt, too. You made it farther than I did. I stopped at a gas station, but chickened out and never exited my car. So I'm happy for you that you made it out of the car and into a store, if only for a couple seconds!

I totally emphasize with the nerves you're working through. Here's to both of us making progress!

[tryingtoblossom]

I have found with myself that being a CD compared to a TG there are huge differences...I have great legs yet I carry some weight around the middle and it bothers me both as a man and CD. It prevents me wearing certain clothes because I look wrong. I look forward to the day I can step out from beyond the walking dark streets at odd hours of the early morning so I am not seen. At least you have had the courage to walk in. Go girl.

[Kate Simmons]

More courage than I had on my first attempt ever. The bottom line is that Kohl's and any other store loves the color of your money Hon.:)

[Marcelle]

My advice . . . take your time. You will know when you are ready. You made it to the store and through the doors . . . congratulate yourself on that step. When you are ready you will find the courage to just stop and check a few things out and before you know it "voila . . . you are out and about".

Hugs

Isha

[Wildaboutheels]

FACT. ONLY CDers are out in public "trying to spot" other CDers. Just watch a few episodes of NGC's Brain Games and this is so obvious. They even had some CDers in one episode to prove the point - how little most folks notice or remember. There is simply far too much information/distractions/more important stuff for our Brains to take in, male or female in almost any given scenario.

THE "safest" places to go to are actually the busiest places. MORE folks around means more distractions. Try a Thrift store on a sale day if you want to see "busy".

But clearly you are NOT dressing to blend... which IS what gets folks to notice.

All bets are off in that case and your "presentation" might possibly invite "trouble" in one form or another.

[Catfishthepirate]

Busy places huh?

never would of thought that. Interesting.

[wanda66]

I am on the road alot, I dress "lite" earrings a little lipstick boy, girl things,flip flops. I stopped for gas and had to ask for the key to the restroom, never thinking of how I was dressed .guess which key I was given....my point is if you are comfortable with youself people around you will be also...it works for me hopefully for you as well

[Emi_]

As far as shopping is concerned, a good friend encouraged me many years ago by telling me that my money is just as green as anyone else's. I earned what I spend through my own hard work and I deserve to go out and spend it on any thing i want to spend it on. As for how one is dressed, you are simply a person going about their own business - so long as you mind your own business, and don't look too different from how other women around you are dressed, most of the world doesn't care. Sure, there are sometimes looks and comments and pointing, and yes there is the danger of being mistreated, but for the most part those things are rare unless you carry yourself like a nervous dude in a dress. Confidence in one's own self makes you far more acceptable to most other people even if you totally look like Abe Lincoln in drag.

[Catfishthepirate]

Helps a little. I just need more confidence in myself all around.