Told someone new.

[Manwithabra]

A couple of days ago I let a third person in on my secret. She's one of my best friends, and is the one person in my usual group of friends who is the most supportive about gender and sex issues. When I told her, expectedly, she was super supportive and even willing to go shopping with me sometime (a nice gesture, but I'm not comfortable with doing that with anyone but my GF yet).

It felt good to tell her, but I wondered why DID I even tell her? Eventually, I reasoned that I told her just so I can relieve the weight of not telling people off of my shoulders. I found the whole scenario to be somewhat therapeutic. Have any of you ever told someone just so that you can feel like you don't need to keep it hidden all the time?

-Nicole

[Beverley Sims]

I had a group of friends where others spread the good word for me.

It was spread in a way that made it interesting and everyone wanted to see the result.
Hence I had favourable comments and very few negative issues.

[NicoleScott]

Have any of you ever told someone just so that you can feel like you don't need to keep it hidden all the time?

Yes, it's a conflict between wanting someone else to know (and maybe see) and still wanting the secret kept. I told three women, no longer in contact with as life took us in separate ways. I sometimes wonder why I told, as I wanted and expected them to keep it private. I can only guess that we were looking for attention, appreciation, validation, etc.

[Alice Torn]

I agree with Nicole on this. Attention, validation, acceptance by another.

[Samantha_Smile]

I didn't want attention when I told a friend, or validation.
To this day she's my oldest friend and I felt that she deserved to know who I am. For real.
It was more for acceptance and honesty's sake.
I validate myself, although being told I looked good didn't hurt, never does.
And I've just never been the type that wants the spotlight for something that I am.

It is great to come out to a close friend, but beware, it can go wrong.
If you suspect they would not be cool, then just ask - What will I lose from telling vs What will I gain from telling.

If your gains outweigh the losses, then go for it, I say!

[ronny0]

I agree with Nicole on this. Attention, validation, acceptance by another.

Same, also some one to share what is happening in our life.

[Barbie Anne]

Yes I have. Mainly for acceptance, but also because I'm so very tired of hiding and living a lie. I fee like I'm crossdressing when I dress in men's colthes.....female attire is just natural to me.

[Marcelle]

Congrats on letting your friend know and now you have another shopping partner (when you are ready that is). I have told lots of people mainly because I know it is going to get out and I prefer to do the telling (to good friends and family) then have the rumour mill churn it out. To date mostly good but a few negative reactions.

Hugs

Isha

[Adelaide]

With my S.O. completely disagreeing with my CDing, I needed to speak to someone about it. It happened when I had dinner with a co-worker. After a few drinks, she suggested we tell eachother secrets that almost no-one else knew. I told her about wanting to dress-up and have very long hair since I was 12. She encouraged me to dress up for her for the next time we meet. I went to her place all dressed up and she truly loved what she saw. She has been extremely supportive ever since, going out shopping, Macs for makeovers and to restaurants with Adelaide. Thank God for her! It relieved a ton a pressure....

[Dana M]

Nicole,
Good for you. I know how you feel. Like Smile and the other have said I have told people to be honest with them and for acceptance.

[Farrah]

I became friends with a sales associate in Catherine, after I went in for a bra fitting. I told her because I just needed someone to talk about "girly" things.

[dana digs sweaters]

Yes and it did increase our friendship and to this day we both laugh at how my honesty to her came about.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi MWAB, I told my wife 50yrs. ago and I don't need to burden anyone else with this.