If it feels good ,wear it !

[Terri Semes]

That's pretty much how I feel these days.
in a DADT relation with my SO and she cringes at me wearing girlie things , but I can't stop.
I keep the full blown dressing in the closet ,but sometimes I wear something subtle ,like panties or womens shorts that don't shout feminine .
Do any others deal with dressing like this ?
I sometimes hint about dressing and she lets me know of her disapproval . So I use the :if it feels good wear it " excuse .

[Chari]

Terri, You should always be comfortable and confident in whatever you choose to wear, no matter what your mode! Some feminine items can be classified as androgynous and most people don't notice or don't care what you wear! Many have dressed in a variety of "girly" items, like jeans, sweaters, jackets, blouses, hoodies, T tops, tennis shoes, loafers, scarfs, ear studs, necklaces, bracelets, watches, even light makeup to name a few. It is up to you to determine what is OK and will not cause disapproval on the home front. Enjoy.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I suggest you ask her if it is OK to wear fem things that she can't distinguish. I have some clothes that can't be distinguished (or can't be seen under my outer clothes), and it is OK to wear them at home, but my wife is worried that somebody will find out if I'm out - so I don't wear them out any longer, and if I did and she found out, there would be heck to pay. I know it's DADT, but if you get caught, it might be the end of the relationship.

Deedee

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe if it looks good, wear it as well.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Terri, Ito am in a DA-DT my wife tolerates it I know my boundaries and I stay with in them and life is great.

[Confucius]

My wife does not approve of my cross-dressing, but she is tolerate to a degree. This is were communication and compromise is important. As long as I let her know that it makes me happy, and and she sets the boundaries, we are one happy couple. She needs to keep it completely private, and in the safety of the home, and away from our intimate times. There are a number of other rules, but I don't mind.

[Andy66]

I had this conversation with some coworkers yesterday after a mtf cd was spotted in the store. As our cute little gay guy said...
If the guy wants to wear a dress, let the guy wear a dress.

[Jenniferathome]

...
I sometimes hint about dressing and she lets me know of her disapproval . So I use the :if it feels good wear it " excuse .

Thats a slippery slope you're on. Better talk about it before you throw it in her face

[NicoleScott]

"If it feels good, wear it" doesn't fit into a good DADT relationship. It's understood that DT also means don't show.

[Terri Semes]

My relationship exactly !

[Emi_]

If you have an agreement with your SO, why then play games with them? Perhaps you desire for things to go further, to gain more acceptance and more freedom. To that end, I believe it would benefit you more to play by the rules and show yourself trustworthy then to try to play with loopholes in the rules.

We make promises when we enter into relationships; we create a contract of mutual trust. Maybe it feels good to you, but that doesn't mean it will feel good to your partner. Agreeing to rules and then breaking them just because it makes you feel good is not being a good partner. At this point, it's probably a good idea to start considering which matters more to you: women's clothing or your relationship - choosing one will mean having to change something about the other.

[WhisperTV]

I agree with what Emi and most of the others are saying. It may seem like innocent fun to you, but your partner may not agree.

There's also the more general issue of trust. If you give your word and break it here, your partner will no doubt wonder what your word is worth on other issues in the relationship.

[Tracii G]

If you are in a DADT relationship why would you want to push it?

[Terri Semes]

Thanks so much for all the replies and advice ,much needed ! I forget the dressing is all about me and not my SO , and that she is not amused by it , only tolerates it . I MUST keep my feel good stuff to myself and maintain our DADT situation .

[Jaylyn]

Terri what part of DADT do you not understand..... Lol if you want the relationship to continue maybe you need to adhere to the original plan. Maybe more underdressing??? Just don't tell.

[sometimes_miss]

My ex always behaved as if my inability to resist wearing girl clothes was a tremendous personal failure on my part. The sentence 'why can't you just be a man' is something I heard a lot.