Kinda frustrating. Does this happen to many around?

[ReginaC]

This is just a mild rant, not really looking out for advice, since I don't think it's something that can be solved except by chosing one side or the other.

Does it happen to anyone around here that your preferred looks as a guy interfere with your dressing? I mean, I like hitting the gym (wouldn't say I'm bulky and muscular, but I'm in good shape, broad shoulders, chest, biceps, that kind of stuff). My face has been described as really manly (strong jaw, square shape, wide eyebrows, nothing remotely feminine). And well, I sport a deep short boxed beard (not long beard, just deep, if you get what I mean). I have body hair everywhere.

And it's not that I wish I didn't have these characteristics. I really like how I look as a guy. And I don't have a conflict of identity or anything like that, actually. It's just that, for the occasions that I dress, and only then, I wish I didn't look as manly hahah.

Anyone out there with this situation?

[DonnaT]

It never interfered because I never went out.

When I chose to go out, then I had to choose to loose the facial hair.

Nothing could be done about the other features, however, except to accept them.

[Lady Catherine]

As a guy I like facial hair, as a woman not so much.

[Princess Grandpa]

The body hair I'm glad to be rid of. I sometimes miss the beard though. The longer it goes between dressings the more days I skip shaving the face.

Hug
Rita

[Katey888]

After some years of carrying a yearning from my formative years as a teenager to really look and talk like Clint Eastwood ("Well do ya - punk?" seems quite old hat now... ;)) - I've come to realise that my relatively compact frame, facial and physical features that I inherited more from my mother than father, can actually (and still surprisingly) be quite feminine with the right choice of clothing and application of makeup.

And while I've not had issues just looking like an average guy, I don't suppose I do feel frustrated now - doing this thing...

Sorry - of course I'm sympathetic - and I'm sure there will be others who do share that frustration... :D

Katey x

[Julie Denier]

I'm perfectly happy as a big, hairy guy. Dressing for me involves creative camouflage and some suspension of disbelief ;)

[Christen]

It would be great to look a bit less masculine sure, but what can you do? I can't change my facial features and I'm not going to get away with losing the hair on my arms, they've always bee pretty hairy.
So we manage as best we can, don't we?

Christen x

[Farrah]

I guess it depends on how often you dress, and if you go out. I know I used to have a dressing "season" for this exact reason. For about 2 to 3 months out of the year, I would stay shaved. I only have a mustache and goatee, nothing more. :)

[Erica Marie]

I can understand your conflict, but for myself I dont have the build of a manly-man so I keep the body hair removed and the facial hair is gone every few days just because I am too lazy to shave daily. I am leaning more towards femme with my daily hairstyle. I go to the gym a few times a week but focus more on cardio than building bulk. So if the man disappears from my look I wont mind at all.

[Donnagirl]

Yep it's a little frustrating. Whilst (thankfully) not hairy, I'm not a small bloke and live that 99% of my life as a macho manly type. I have to accept that whilst a particular camera angle might help the illusion, in all reality I'm about as feminine as a pantomime ugly sister!!

Since I really do not intend taking my dressing to far from the closet, I'm not loosing too much sleep over it.

If only there was shape wear that could hide 50lbs in weight and 8" in height.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Regina, The muscular body thing is possible to cover up, but for me having facial hair was a big turn off, and kept me from dressing, even being home alone, I just didn't feel right seeing the bearded guy in a dress, and make-up forget about it. Needless to say but, shaving doesn't affect your manliness.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Rachelakld]

I currently supporting a beard, liking the look, wife says there is nothing fem with my face even without beard.
I don't really care about "passing" as a female, the female is an internal aspect of my life and it's nice to pretend

[Lynn Marie]

Anyone out there with this situation?

I'd be more inclined to ask if there's anyone out there who doesn't have a ton of manly features that are dead giveaways that we are not exactly what we are attempting to portray!

[Michelle789]

I hate my beard and body hair. I waxed and epilate my body hair and am glad to be rid of it. I shave my beard, and am beginning laser hair removal in a week, and I'll be glad to be rid of my beard too. I might laser off the remaining body hair as well.

My face has been described as a "baby face" and somewhat feminine/androgynous. I don't have any pronounced muscles.

So no, my preferred look is feminine. Whatever maleness I have is not preferred and I'll be glad to be rid of it some day.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Regina, I had a full beard about 45yrs. ago and never to be seen again.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

As far muscle goes, yes, yes, and yes. It's the one biggest conflict issue between my male and female sides, closely followed by male hobbies vs. femme wardrobe, upkeep etc. The best comprise in dealing the weight lifting issue is to still lift but far smaller weight, more natural weight exercises (no more bench press) and most importantly diet, diet and diet. Punishment being if the scales go above a certain weight, weight lifting privileges are suspended more and more cardio is substituted, and even further dieting restrictions are imposed. At least the facial hair problem was dealt with years ago and at best is maintained by electro.

[ReginaC]

Anyone out there with this situation?

I'd be more inclined to ask if there's anyone out there who doesn't have a ton of manly features that are dead giveaways that we are not exactly what we are attempting to portray!

Yeah, I know what you mean. However, with me it's not so much about having manly features, but rather that I like them a lot. I like my beard, my square face, my physical shape, my muscles and my broad chest. So it's not that I'm pondering whether I should aim for a leaner figure or shave. I like my male self just how I am (if anything, I want to bulk up a bit more). At the same time, I wish I looked more feminine when dressed.

And it hasn't been a problem because I've never gone out. Then again, I'd like to do it sometime, so maybe I'll just wax and shave and have a go at it one time, just to see how it feels. I don't really see myself taking that path permanently -I like my manly features too much hahah-.

That doesn't mean, however, that while dressed I would love to have a more feminine look. For me, it would be awesome if there was a way to get rid of all body and facial hair while dressed, and then just get it back hahahah. Just wishful thinking.

[docrobbysherry]

My mirror is my CD mantra, Regina. When I got serious about dressing about 7 years ago I wanted to look BETTER, period! That required making changes.

I stopped going to the gym and all weight/strength excersizes.

I changed my eating and drinking habits to maintain a more slim, hourglass figure.

I can't be bothered with shaving. In fact, I'm wearing a full goatee and stache in my avatar photo!

[noeleena]

Hi,

If you read up on my posts youll find how i feel / am about myself as a female , funny that.....yet there seem to still be a few who dont accept i am female , now i wonder why,

The reason being is im both male and female and have male facial features, and it shows,
i dont disquise myself or hide my self im in the public eye and well known maybe to well known.

i dont know......

most people are quite happy being around me and get on well with me as a person just because im female and different does not stop my many friends asking me to be a part with them .

I never liked how i looked from age 10 and why would it be different now , i live with it . have to any way other wise id hide and never do any thing or join as i have world wide groups and a member with in our membership over 1000 people plus commitees 3, you dont get asked / told your on if your not wonted, or people dont wont you on board,

So because of how i look or dont does not come into it, being accepted and different, does,

i show my personality who i am and live life to the full and with my many friends,

...noeleena...

[nehapriya]

I guess i am kinda lucky in this case , i dont grow more hair on my face and i am not heavily built, infact few of my friends who are GGs say they want to get a waistline like me..i love being on the top of my world whem i am fem

[ScarlettLox]

Sooooooorta, I have some tough facial hair that loves to ruin my make up, it's really bothersome.
Also I have a double chin but a diet could fix that lol

[Teresa]

ReginaC,
I'm beginning to think that men were given hair to discourage CDing !
I don't shave all over but since shaving my legs I would hate to stop ! and now I shave my upper chest I love seeing what I naturally have in a bra. I close shave my face every day even if I don't wear full makeup.
I didn't need to go to a gym because hauling photographic equipment about for thirty years kept me lean and fit. I've never analysed my facial features just go with what I have and do my best with makeup !

[Marcelle]

Hi Regina,

Unfortunately when it comes right down to it we are "guys, dudes, blokes" and have to accept that the facial characteristics we have are driven by genetics and not likely to be very feminine. I am a smaller guy (5'6") but do work out extensively at the gym so my upper body is very toned. Now with strategic clothing I can pull off a passable female shape (slender hips though). Face well lets say not so much. I have been lucky in that I inherited many of my finer features from my mother but my father was also finer featured for a man. However, I still look all guy regardless of how well I apply my make-up. In the end a very small percentage of us truly pass and even those who do are normally very young and that will get harder as they get older (testosterone will see to that). Body hair . . . lots myself but I have kept it removed for years (even prior to CDing) as I have never liked it. Facial hair . . . I was the guy who shaved at 6AM and need to shave again at 2PM . . . laser is slowly chipping away at that.

All this to say, none of us truly pass, blend perhaps (some better than others). It is all about working with what you have for me.

Hugs

Isha

[Renee Elise]

I can have a decent beard in about a week's time, and like letting it grow out. I like how I look as a guy too in general. Usually when I have a beard I don't dress. When I feel like getting into some girly outfits I usually shave both my face and legs. Nylons feel so much better over shaved legs. Fortunately my body hair grows back quickly so I can be back to full "guy" mode in a couple weeks.

[Judith96a]

If only there was shape wear that could hide 50lbs in weight and 8" in height.

Yes PLEASE! (Said with feeling!)

[Sc0rp10N]

In a word, yes. I am relatively well built, I spent a good portion of my life working out and I'm a bit of a hairy guy, but not quite like a bear. I have wide shoulders, a squarish jaw, slightly thicker neck, bigger biceps and pecs, etc., none of which I can change at this point as I haven't really worked out much in 2 years and none of it seems diminished. As for the facial hair, I keep a tightly trimmed full beard, but its really just a 2 day shadow. When I dress, I shave as close as possible, but you can still see it a little. Since I had been working out to look good as a guy previously, I had noticed body builders and actors shaved their chests, so I had already been doing that for years to make the muscles pop. It wasn't too much of a stretch to start shaving everything else, so now, when I dress, I shave everything smooth from eyebrows down and trim and cut everything else. As a guy, the only thing that seems a little odd is my eyebrows, which I need to find a happy medium for, and my arm hair, which I normally wear long sleeves to cover for the next week or so while its growing back out as dressing is really only a once or twice a month thing for me.

[CrossJess]

I asked my mum earlier if i look manly after seeing this post and she just laughed :straightface: lol yea thanks mum :o but the topic in question all I grow on my face is bum fluff I couldn't man up even if I tried I got no muscles but do have a lot of power even though there's nothing to me....no matter what I do i just look gaaaay lol :battingeyelashes: i know it and people know it :doh: haha

[Beverley Sims]

Nope,
I am a 98lb weakling and it has never bothered me.

Well 120 lbs thee days

[Pippa A]

Hey! Stop that you! Ugly sister indeed - Hmph! You look great :)

[Michelle (Oz)]

Life is a compromise particularly when it comes to being male and regularly presenting female. I want to present authentically female as possible but am my wife's husband. Eyebrows, finger nails, hair on arms, back and legs are the main compromises I make.

[LeeAnne]

I never had much chest hair and I shave that off. I could never be passable because of my face, but my overall physique is guy, guy, guy. I don't mind it except that it definitely interferes with CDing; I require a lot of suspension of disbelief. One positive aspect to CDing is that I'm so much more aware of my physique and I'm determined to lose weight. I lost 10 lbs this past week. If I could change anything, though, I'd have hair instead of being bald. That's the one thing that does bug me, even as a guy.

[Janine cd]

With me, hair is not the issue. What really bothers me is the fact that I have a large frame and a barrel chest that never was meant to support a 38C bra.

[heather88]

Not exactly but yes. I also have features on me that will certainly give myself away being that im 6 foot 4 and 230 pounds. I havent dressed in a little bit because my facial hair has started to come in finally and im letting that grow out. but ive been trying to going to the fitness center lately and as much as id love to have good muscles and all that im torn between that and possibly trying to keep or make somewhat of a feminine form. i think its a confliction that we all face to one extent or another, and drives most of us crazy, or me at least.