Told my kids

[Ginger Jameson]

I have two kids and a granddaughter living with me (ages 12, 10, and 3). They all now know that Muhmuh (a.k.a. Daddy) likes to dress in women's clothes sometimes.

I don't remember if I told my grand daughter first, but she was definitely the easiest. I didn't actually even tell her. I just wore a few feminine (i.e. pink or sparkly) shirts around the house. She said she liked my "dress" which is what she calls any women's clothes. I took that as a good sign and came to dinner one night dressed in a somewhat fancy / somewhat clubby dress complete with boobs. No makeup, though. She liked it and I've been wearing whatever I want in front of her since.

When I told my son (12 going on 32) I got the distinct impression that he already knew. My ex-wife knows and she may have told him (though she never ran it past me). In either case it was a very easy conversation. for the most part his response was a matter-of-fact "and?" It felt like he kept expecting me to drop some major bombshell on him. Instead all he got was a non-shocking "daddy's a cross dresser" conversation. :) In his defense, I started off incredibly nervous, beat around the bush a lot, and eventually blurted it out then dropped to nervous silence.

My daughter (10) was on the opposite end of the spectrum from my son. They both already knew that I am bisexual, and she wanted to know all about everything. She asked if I'd ever gone out (yes, once), if I'd ever go out again (yes). She wanted to know about my dating and sex history (I told her everything except the gory details which wasn't hard because my past is relatively tame all things considered).

In all three cases it went a lot better than I could have hoped for. I held back for quite a long time out of fear and it turns out my kids loved me all along. :D

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm glad to hear that. It must really reduce the stress not having to hide things from the kids. I hope you take time to follow up with them from time to time and make sure they are still comfortable with the knowledge. As they age and come in contact with new peer groups they may start getting input that is contrary to reality.

[Katey888]

Kids are great and they often surprise us with their understanding and acceptance...

Just a shame they don't stay kids! :)

Thanks for relating that positive experience...

Katey x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lady G, My two daughters are in their mid 40s' and I never wanted to burden them with this.

[Beverley Sims]

Telling children is always difficult as you don't know how they will handle it.

[Michellegryl]

Congratulations on taking that step, it sounds like things went well. I am very happy for you.

I have told two of my three children (son 22, daughter 33 ) Things could not have gone better. They both see Michelle regularly around the house and when I am coming or going from being out. For me it was something that I had to do and will soon be telling #3 my oldest son.

[Marissa]

Even though my daughters are adults and know.. its good to see others in this town that can be who they want (need) to be at home.. thank you for sharing.. you go girl. :)

[Marcelle]

Hi there . . . great story and what great kids. A testimony to both you and your ex-wife in that they just seem to accept it. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Isha

[candykowal]

This scenario has to be one of the hardest things to do.
I am curious if you had to do anything to explain what they might encounter, with there friends, when they ask about their father or if their friends meet Lady Gambrell while out and about?
Or if it even would be an issue?
I am also curious if you plan on being yourself when going to, say...a parent teachers conference, their graduations, birthdays, family functions?
I would think you would be but that depends on if your now working and living in femme 24/7.

My curiosity comes from the fact that I am still in the closet and married to a wonderful gal who knows some things I do are of a feminine nature.
She doesn't know I go out, doesn't know about my wardrobe, and isn't privy to my circles.
Though we don't have children, I am struggling with telling her more for various reasons, divorce is one of them ...I can't imagine how much courage it took you, to tell your children!!
I applaud your efforts and hope all the best for you and your family!

[Suzanne F]

I applaud your honesty and openness. I told my 2 daughters age 16 and 21 last month. They live far away but while I was here they went out with me in Suzanne mode several times. They were awesome and very supportive. My oldest was right back to it being about her! So no problem. My 16 year old will be spending 3 weeks with us soon. So when she gets here we are going to tell my 11 year old son. I am anxious but optimistic. We have raised him to be an open loving person. I also want him to be able to process this with his sister. This will end the sneaking around since I go out in a regular basis. I am hoping to be living as Suzanne a lot except for when working with customers .
Suzanne

[Ginger Jameson]

I'm glad to hear that. It must really reduce the stress not having to hide things from the kids. I hope you take time to follow up with them from time to time and make sure they are still comfortable with the knowledge. As they age and come in contact with new peer groups they may start getting input that is contrary to reality.

Definitely. We're a pretty open family conversationally, so I'm sure it'll come up again and again.


Kids are great and they often surprise us with their understanding and acceptance...

Just a shame they don't stay kids! :)

Thanks for relating that positive experience...

Katey x

I was so excited about how positive it had been that I had to. I see a lot of horror stories on the site. Folks need to know that honesty with our loved ones doesn't always destroy our world. :)


Hi Lady G, My two daughters are in their mid 40s' and I never wanted to burden them with this.

If you ever do, you may find that it's not the burden you thought it was. Heck, depending on how long it's been going on you may find they figured you out long ago.


Telling children is always difficult as you don't know how they will handle it.

Yeah. I was shaking and stammering the whole time.


Congratulations on taking that step, it sounds like things went well. I am very happy for you.

I have told two of my three children (son 22, daughter 33 ) Things could not have gone better. They both see Michelle regularly around the house and when I am coming or going from being out. For me it was something that I had to do and will soon be telling #3 my oldest son.

Go for it! Get it all out there as soon as possible. Heck, just being able to have an armoire full of girl clothes without having to worry I'd be found out and have to scramble for a story has probably added a year to my life by relieving stress.


Even though my daughters are adults and know.. its good to see others in this town that can be who they want (need) to be at home.. thank you for sharing.. you go girl. :)

Howdy! (That's about the extent of my Texan upbringing). I definitely think that having grown up in the South made this harder for me. It's not exactly an acceptable lifestyle anywhere, but at least some places it's just "weird." Here you add in fire & brimstone preachers and a real fear of physical violence to the mix.

But the times, they are a-changin'. :)


Hi there . . . great story and what great kids. A testimony to both you and your ex-wife in that they just seem to accept it. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Isha

Thank you for listening to it. And yeah, the kids are great! The ex-, well... That's another story. ;)


I applaud your honesty and openness. I told my 2 daughters age 16 and 21 last month. They live far away but while I was here they went out with me in Suzanne mode several times. They were awesome and very supportive. My oldest was right back to it being about her! So no problem. My 16 year old will be spending 3 weeks with us soon. So when she gets here we are going to tell my 11 year old son. I am anxious but optimistic. We have raised him to be an open loving person. I also want him to be able to process this with his sister. This will end the sneaking around since I go out in a regular basis. I am hoping to be living as Suzanne a lot except for when working with customers .
Suzanne

Sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Raised right, and taught to respect people for who they are? He might think it's strange, but I doubt the revelation will do more than cause a few ripples. It sounds like you're in the home stretch! :)

[Ginger Jameson]

There were a lot more discussion hooks in Candy's reply, so she gets a post all to herself. :-*


This scenario has to be one of the hardest things to do.
I am curious if you had to do anything to explain what they might encounter, with there friends, when they ask about their father or if their friends meet Lady Gambrell while out and about?
Or if it even would be an issue?

I can't say it'll never be an issue, but it definitely won't be one any time soon. I even made sure that my son knew I wouldn't be prancing around in a dress when his friends come over. They go to a public school where seats are given out by lottery so they don't actually have any friends in the neighborhood and they usually go out somewhere to hang with them.


I am also curious if you plan on being yourself when going to, say...a parent teachers conference, their graduations, birthdays, family functions?
I would think you would be but that depends on if your now working and living in femme 24/7.

Definitely not living en femme 24/7, or even close. For me "being yourself" means being either James or Britney. I'm happy in both skins and not looking to kill either of us off any time soon.* At their school I don't think it would be a problem, at least not for me. The vice principal and several teachers are openly gay. At work I'm an engineer / lead who's on the cusp of breaking in to management. Bringing Britney to the office, despite the "no tolerance for hostility" policy, would probably be a career killer. She'll be staying home unless I ever decide to try and win a Halloween costume contest.

I'm still not out as a CD girl to my family, though they all know I'm bi and I'm not shy about flashing my painted toes. Nobody was surprised when I came out as Bi, and everyone has been supportive, so I don't think it would be an issue.


My curiosity comes from the fact that I am still in the closet and married to a wonderful gal who knows some things I do are of a feminine nature.
She doesn't know I go out, doesn't know about my wardrobe, and isn't privy to my circles.
Though we don't have children, I am struggling with telling her more for various reasons, divorce is one of them ...I can't imagine how much courage it took you, to tell your children!!
I applaud your efforts and hope all the best for you and your family!

Thank you! It was definitely hard. I've only been CDing for about 5 years now, and only seriously for 3 or 4, so it hasn't been a lifetime of me hiding from them. It damn sure felt that way at times.

Please don't take this as me trying to live your life. You know your wife and you know what you're comfortable with more than anyone else ever could, especially some fly-by-night forumite. I do know that things usually can't stay hidden forever, and telling people the truth is almost always more readily accepted than being caught in a double life.

I hope that if you do make that leap you find her waiting there to catch you.