New responsibilities come when you least expect them.

[Rhanda]

I have been used to coming and going, dressed in whatever way that I wish without feeling that it is anone elses business. Just recently there has come into my life a new little angel of a person, in the person of a six year old boy who lives at the corner of our block. This boy has chosen me as a grandfather figure. His father has given him only his name and does not live with his family. This boy needs me. What a responsibility!

Now, as I have no dress shoes other than heels I cannot hide them from him, but I have decided that I will not let him see me dressed and fully madeup like a woman. I know that that is quite a sacrifice on my part but a life seems to be worth it. What do you think?

Rhanda

[Teresa]

Rhanda if you enjoy the company of the boy and it's brought a light into your life try putting CDing on the back boiler, if that doesn't work wear less feminine clothes. Does the father know you dress? Otherwise could it cause a problem with him and your relationship with the boy !

[WhisperTV]

Just be careful. Cross dresser + little boy could be a dangerous situation. I know that you aren't thinking those things, but that doesn't mean the folks in the neighborhood won't be. I'd be careful about letting him into your house. Meet with him outside where everyone can see there's nothing going on.

Sorry for such a negative post on such a wonderful situation, but I just feel a word of caution is in order.

[Alice Torn]

You sound like you have a good heart, to be willing to sacrifice for a deprived boy, but Whisper has a good point. I would not Cd around the boy at all, and not bring him into your place either. If the neighbors are not friendly to you, some one may think the wrong thing, and get you in trouble. Maybe they are fine with you're dressing, and all will be fine. I salute you for sincerely being a friend and father figure, even if it means having to be in the closet now, but you need to set boundries with him, too. Can you buy a pair of guy running shoes or whatever? Do you have a wife or SO, or live alone? Us loners are often misunderstood, and branded.

[Rhanda]

I am long and happilly married and I have not and will not invite him into my home. I just feel that the Lord is sending me a new responsibility and at this time I have not had any feeling of need to change my shoe style. but he reguards me as a grandfather might be regaurded. He tried to give me a hug the other day and I just manuvered away from it.
My next birthday is coming up and I will be 86. there has never been anything in my life in a sexual way that I should be ashamed of. But I do know that my affection for this little guy is nearly familial.

Kids have always been very friendly to me, but my caussion caused me to give up teaching Sunday School many years ago, because there were a number of accusations of other men in that position and I felt that something was going on that would be hard to handle if it was aimed at me.

So far, everything that has happened has been in daylight and in the front yard or the open porch. Thanks for your concern.

Rhanda

[WhisperTV]

Bless your heart, Rhanda. You sound like a very sweet and caring man. I'm sure things will go well for the two of you.

[kimdl93]

I'd be a bit cautious about getting too deep into this child's life without some conversation with his parent. Not because your intentions might be misconstrued, but because you may grow too attached, only to find that the child moves away, your supplanted by others or his father becomes more involved. Be kind, helpful but don't overreach.

[suzy1]

Little children are fantastic. A joy to be around. Enjoy the fun while you can. You will turn around one day and he will be all grown up.

[Tracii G]

If you have no family ties to this boy you have no rights to do anything other than be a friend.
Don't get too involved

[abby054]

You answered your own question: "...a life seems to be worth it."

I provide a grandfather figure for a few kids, it is so much worth the effort both for them and for me. Tracii is right: remember that you can be no more than a friend, painful as that may sometimes be. Use good judgment. It still is worth it to provide a small island of stability for a kid.

They will never know that I am a CD. And I never place myself in any situation where I am with any child and without witnesses.

[Beverley Sims]

You are a "Grandfather Figure" and nothing more.

Do not destroy the illusion.

[Stephanie47]

I concur with the others. Don't get too involved, especially with potential issues of cross dressing. There are too many people out there that associate cross dressing with perversion. I would not cross dress in front of any young child without laying the proper framework. It's one thing to "come out" to your own child or grandchildren. It's another for a stranger.

I have a very strong bond with my granddaughter that no one in the family understands. Why? It's just conjecture on my part. When babysitting her as an infant she use to sleep on my chest while I watched television in my recliner. I am assuming she felt comfort from the beat of my heart and the warmth. Alas, I digressed again. I've known many young kids passing through our house, but, the relationship has always been from afar. I guess I'm trying to say grandfatherly love should be reserved for family members.

I would limit my involvement with the boy to talking to him in the front yard. At six his world is probably very limited; so many houses up and down the block. The mother needs to get him engaged with other children.

[Kate Simmons]

I think you need to decide what is more important and proceed accordingly. :)

[noeleena]

Hi,

This may help . i have been around children all my life, with members in our other familys not just Jos and ours, and had taught other children as well ,

What i did was made myself known to every one and those Mom's and Dads all knew so when thier children were with us they were safe, they knew Jos as well.

I stayed with a Captian his wife and with thier two young children and captians wife would ask the two did they wont to go out with me or thier Mom they were out the door getting in our waggon Mom your on your own,

At meeting's the kids others would come to me and stay with me even though first off i did not know thier Mom they were quite happy having thier kids with me .

next door i take out with me a little girl age 3 , 1 / 2 and yeap she loves being with and around me,

Now my point in this is two fold wether i was or not seen as male or female made no difference, they all know im female any way, so this is a bit different with those im around now .

oh and she can when ever come into the house when she likes as she has many times her Mom knows if she climbs the fence and is not at her home Mom knows to come over and in our house wether im there or not its a ...safe house.... for her child .

yes i understand men are not as able to do as we can with children every thing you do with or near the wee lad make sure its out in the open, thats a must.

I dont know who knows you around your streets or block / place, i would make myself known if you'v not done it, for safety reasons for both of you,

i know for myself its different because i work with many people and they are wellcome to come to our home for help when needed, as iv said its a.... Safe house.....for those who need it .

Thanks for sharing thats...... so neat ......yea ...Lovely,

...noeleena...

[Claire Cook]

Rhanda,

I think you have made the right choice. From what you have written it sounds like he needs that grandfather figure, and his needs ought to come first. If per chance he should see you dressed, I'd let him ask you about it later if he recognizes you.

[Annaliese]

You are doing the right thing for the right reason, I think the little boy has found an angel to look after him.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rhanda, The Good Lord has hander you a special assignment, The rest is up to you to handle it the best that you can.

[CrossJess]

If you have no family ties to this boy you have no rights to do anything other than be a friend.
Don't get too involved

Jeez Yea I second this:straightface:, Not sure I would even go down this route, I've seen "date line to catch a predator", not that I'm saying you are one but just be very careful, it's to easy these days to be labelled where adults and kids are involved especially if they are not yours, unfortunately you can't do anything now with out being suspect.

On the upside though kids are pretty cool, I attract little girls more than I do anything when I'm out and about they home in on me because of what I have on generally I think they are fascinated in the colour blend I mix and all the bits and bobs that hang off me lol and even more if I'm in glam rock mode lol but I keep everything at arms length.

[5150 Girl]

Ok,,, Here's the thing..... You all know, sooner or later, the "little secrete" gets out!!! I hate to be a "Debbie Downer" here, but as Vader said, "Search your feelings, you know this to be true"... (Yea, I can be the heavy when I need to) At that point we add lies and deception issues to what ever other issues come out when "the secrete" surfaces!
I say see'n as how you're out for the most part already, I think full disclosure at this point is best. IF the family wants it broke off because of Rhanda, the best to do it now before the ties get any stronger.
HOWEVER, who knows, they may be open minded and use this as a learning experience in a safe, controlled envernment to teach the boy about different "cultures" so to speak.

[Elle1944]

WOW all this encouragement here, I would proceed with extreme caution, I would talk to the parents first, and be up front and honest, to a youngster, grandpa dressed as grandma is a tough sell. There are a whole bunch of folks out there that really don't understand cd/tv/or transgender and then there are those who's religious views might take on something far different than your hopes. There was a politician about a month or so ago who chastised the transgender community comparing transgender to pedophilia, I would be very careful. Even some of learner-ed are ignorant to our lifestyle.

[Lorileah]

This boy needs me. What a responsibility!
what did I read the other day...Oh yeah...not your circus, not your monkeys. Be friendly to him, be nice to him, don't EVER allow him in your house. As mentioned you are in a category of "likely" criminals. Doesn't matter if you are totally innocent with this, somewhere someone is going to make a fuss. I assume he has a mother, even if father is a no show, and before you go any further, you need to make sure she is on board. But in no way would I allow the child in my house, no matter what my lifestyle.

[Rhonda Jean]

This is such a bad idea on so many levels. How does a 6 year old choose you to be a grandfather figure? And what make you think he needs one? Sounds to me like you chose him. This is ridiculously bad, and you have no business involving yourself in this child's life. You should stay away and avoid any and all contact with this child. This has "BAD DEAL" written all over it in big flashing neon! DON'T MESS WITH KIDS!!! Even if you're the most sincere and well-intentioned person on the planet, this is none of your business. Given that you at least partially crossdress (openly) there's a pretty good chance you'll get to explain your intentions in court. Let's just start with the minimum that you've already stated... "Grandfather figure" in high heels hanging around a 6 year old boy... What's wrong with this picture???

[Confucius]

If this boy is important and you want to make a positive influence in his life, then I say put your cross-dressing out of sight. If he sees you en femme then he may want to emulate you.

When my children were young I quit cross-dressing for 20 years! So, it is possible, though I doubt that you will have to take it to my extremes. The thing is, children have enough troubles growing up. I think that there will come a time when you can discuss cross-dressing with him, but not until he is old enough to manage on his own. Right now he needs a positive male role model, someone who can teach him that it is good to be a boy.

[DonnaT]

If the boy's mother is OK with her son talking to you, then I wouldn't worry about anything else.

You say he needs you as a grandfather figure, so what do y'all talk about or do together?

[Rhanda]

The last few days I have gone to wearing only male type shoes outside and he has not mentioned it. His mother came to get him sunday evening just after I had told him that it was probably his bedtime. His mother spoke pleasantly with me and my wife. I never interact with him when my wife isn't presant. and our conversations are only what he brings forward by something that he brings to show me or he asks a question. He even asked what my mother's name was. Her name is kind of Dutch sounding and he giggled about it. I didn't mind that because sometimes I think those Dutch name are rather funny.
I only want him to have some quality time when he can learn some things worthwile that he might not learn in school. As for religion, That can wait untill I get to know the mother a little better.

Rhanda

[Butterfly Bill]

My experience with children (as somebody who is out) is that if they see other adults accept you and treat you normally, they will too. If you are still keeping it a secret from everyone else, they will be as embarrassed as you are when it is found out. You say that you have been "coming and going, dressed in whatever way that I wish". If this is the case, he and his parents already know and are all right about it. I say continue to do it, and show him that there are many options available to him as he grows up to be a man. By trying to hide it and acting ashamed of it, you are reinforcing all of straight society's oppressive prejudices.