Could I, should I, will I.. Hell yes... Maybe...

[Donnagirl]

Ok girls,

I've written, re-written, amended, changed, altered, deleted and started this thread so many times. Still don't know if I'll actually press the submit...

Now I've been to a group meeting once... Went in drab, was advised against it but didn't listen (wow, how unusual for me!!!) and really regretted it. Swore I'd never go again unless I was dressed. Next meeting is Saturday evening...

I've had lots of talks to the SO, she's on this forum and will be reading this and I'm happy this also reflects her decision... It's not me pushing the guilt option, she is genuinely supportive... (Or perhaps calling my bluff!!!). I have boots (Italian leather that I was stretching.. Left under the bed and missed), skinny jeans (in with my boy stuff and missed) and a sweater dress that will look great.. OK so I shopped!!!

So I'm going out dressed this Saturday evening. FIRST TIME EVER!!!! I'll walk out to the car, look out neighbours!!!! Get into my unique, classic motor that is so recognisable and known by so many in this town. I'll drive across the city and spent the evening in the company of like minded and like dressed individuals...

I give up on the Wallabies v France rugby match (unheard of previously) and risk being pulled over for so many reasons, not the least being me and my car are known to almost every HWP officer...

Fully dressed, make up, wig, what am I thinking??? I'll look bad, I'll be an embarrassment, or worse... Catastrophic public outing!!!

It's still days away and I'm excited, I'm scared.... I'm going to do it... I'm going to chicken out... I want to do it, no I don't... Hide, back in the closet you go... Too much risk!!!! No it's not. I need to do this...

These emotions normal???

Promise I'll take a pic before I leave and with the group... If I have the courage to go.... Maybe the Wallabies game will be too much to miss....

Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

[Donna Joanne]

From one Donna to another...own it...rock it...and enjoy every moment! And be at peace with yourself when you do it!

[Jackie7]

Well if you love the adrenaline-laced state you are in now, then don't go. But if you want ever to get to the other side of your fears, what are you waiting for. The urge to dress up pretty is not going to go away.

[GenieGirl]

Good luck Donna! I have that same similar case with my sports car. Heck leaving my girl weekend yesterday in guy mode I had 3 people compliment me on my car at the gas station alone. Funny thing is one of the ladies I saw in the gas station was at the same bar that I was Friday night....I held the door for her on my way out.....she didn't recognize me I can say ;). Good luck and hope you have a ball your first time out!

Ginger

[Katey888]

I guess we wait with bated breath.... :)

If you're really sure your SO is fine, then you have only your own misgivings to overcome, but remember - it's easy for others here to encourage your actions with complete impunity... You - and your family - are the ones who will have to bear the consequences of any intended or unintentional revelation and you must be comfortable with whatever that worst case may be... I don't want to appear to be negative for you, I'm not, but you have to make and be happy with, that call...

Whatever way it goes - Good Luck! :hugs:

Katey x

[Alice Torn]

I can sure relate, to the car situation!! My car is unique,also, and every policeman knows it in my town and area! If i drive dressed as Alice, the cops will know it almost immediately! Maybe you can wear guy clothes over your lady clothes, with out wig and makeup, until you park where you meet.

[tryingtoblossom]

Stuff the wallabies Donna...they will have many other chances...this is your first chance to do what you enjoy...embrace the moment...and being scared is normal...even in guy mode we get nrevous...whether it be a job interview...having a baby and waiting on it's delivery...getting married even...You do what is right by Donna if she has been given a day pass by the SO and your SO is on board with this you go out and SHINE girl :-)

P.S. As for the car...TAKE the SO's if she will let you


Victoria

[Beverley Sims]

Stuff the Froggies Donna,
The Wallabies will beat them.

I would go, go, go! :)

[Rhonda Jean]

Hi Donna,

I don't know if this type of advise is what you are looking for, but I'm not going to completely be a cheerleader on this one. I have a problem with you being out in such a recognizable car.

In anonymity, I think that you'll find that when you go out dressed, nothing happens. You may be nervous and excited, but as far as what actually happens in your interactions with others, it's largely a non-event. That all changes as the possibility of discovery increases. It really takes away from the experience, and turns something fun but harmless into something that... may not be harmless.

Unless that's the only car you have, it's just unnecessary. My advice is to be unerringly discreet. Wear whatever you want, go wherever you want... just as long as it's 60 miles from home. That's a small price to pay to keep your life as you know it intact.

Rhonda

[Jenniferathome]

Donna, 99% that which prevents you from getting out the door is in your head. Once you close the door behind you, it is an amazing feeling and experience. In fact, once out, you will forget you are dressed much of the time.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Donna, We will be standing by for further details , Good luck.

[Marcelle]

Hi Donna,

I guess the big thing given your past history . . . is your wife okay with you going. Not so much going but the potential for a public outing (walking by neighbors, recognizable sports car). If she is fine with it then it all comes down to you at that point. You will know when you are truly ready to go out in the world, the desire will not lay unabated and it will feel as though every fibre in your body is screaming "GO!". However, given you are planning to walk by your neighbours get into your recognizable sports car then once that bell is rung, it cannot be silenced. I always recommend the litmus test of "if you are not concerned about others knowing . . . don't sweat it" but if you are concerned about those close knowing then exercise caution when going to venues "en femme".

Hugs

Isha

[5150 Girl]

You're just experiencing first timer's jitters.... Lots of us have unique vehicles... I have a Fox Mustang a year away from historical plates as my daily driver!
Look, the first time is always the hardest, but once you've been out for the first time, it's a walk in the park after that! Ask anyone who has actually been out.

[arbon]

and after you'll realize it was not such a big deal after all.

[Elle1944]

Donna, 99% that which prevents you from getting out the door is in your head. Once you close the door behind you, it is an amazing feeling and experience. In fact, once out, you will forget you are dressed much of the time.

Oh how I agree with Jennifer on this, it's in your head, the "wars and revolutions" that we often have to deal with since the first time we dressed and the excitement of being caught and opposing consequences of being chastised or punished, "it is in your head", even the use of your car. Obey all traffic lights, stop streets, and speed limits, make sure your headlights are on, no need for a cop to pull you over, check your lights tail and front too. You know this first time is like the rush of the first time you had a cocktail, mug of beer, smoked a joint, first sexual encounter or your first job, nothing like the first one, but this one is the biggest quest of all, enjoy!

[Debra Russell]

Donna, most of all your fears could become a reality but the probability of any of it becoming so is minimal - I also have a very distinguishable vehicle and been waved at, looked at, and at times had moments of palpitations but never had a problem- ...go ...be thoughtful and careful --- have fun................................Debra

[Lynn Marie]

Donna I could tell you to just relax, but that won't do any good. So just hurry up and get it over with before the anticipation tension and nervousness causes you to get drunk and forget what it was that you were so afraid of!

The biggest problem with being outed in your own neighborhood is that people will talk about you behind your back. Of course they will still do that whether you get outed or not! We all love any juicy gossip in a storm.

[PaulaQ]

Donna, I have a very unique car as well, and I lived in a very small rural community. Mostly I got away with going out, although I got spotted by some of my former friends once, much to their amusement.

Please make sure that your wife is OK with the chance of you being outed by your unique car. Or consider taking a more anonymous vehicle, if you have one. (I didn't). Being outed that way isn't the end of the world, but if you live in a small town, people will talk.

In my case, being spotted in my car didn't matter, my wife had already outed me everywhere, unbeknownst to me.

Definitely check with your wife though - consider that once you are out, if that happens, some of "the trans" splatters on her by association with you.

All that said, I hope you enjoy your outing - you'll have lots of fun!

[Lorileah]

it's easy for others here to encourage your actions with complete impunity...
Katey x

pushes Donna toward the door :) No really, go, it will make you happier. and remember


Donna, 99% that which prevents you from getting out the door is in your head. Once you close the door behind you, it is an amazing feeling and experience. In fact, once out, you will forget you are dressed much of the time. :yt:


Hi Donna,

I don't know if this type of advise is what you are looking for, but I'm not going to completely be a cheerleader on this one. I have a problem with you being out in such a recognizable car.




Well, let me think. I have personalized plates, no problem. I know someone who drives a 1970 something Jaguar XKE, no problem. I have a friend who has among other cars a classic Mustang, a red MG, a giant RV. I also have a friend who drives a 1970's Ford Pickup. We place too much emphasis on who knows what in our lives. Drive normally, don't do anything stupid (and acting nervous could count as that), don't drink. Are the police harassing you routinely in your classic car? Why would they start now? Dressing is not illegal anywhere I know in Australia (somewhere I read they are in the 21st century there). Neighbors? Well if you worry about what they think, you need to get rid of that bright pink f;flamingo in your garden first. You don't know maybe they like to swing from chandeliers. Maybe they dress as Shrek. There are two people (maybe a coupe more if you have children) you need to worry about as far as what they think. YOU and your SO. All the gloom and doom people here (I am surprised they are not prepping with 100 new dresses and a million new panties) are good at putting fear into you. That is how politicians get you to vote on their side. It may not be true (and often is less true than false) but now you imagine the worst.

What you listed are excuses. I know because I have done and still do that (currently going back to my hometown) where you convince yourself that it will be bad. OK maybe don't go this time, go next time. Rent a car, rent a limo, rent a balloon. Next excuse? Yeah, maybe it will rain...or maybe there will be an alien invasion...or maybe you sit at home and wonder in 20 years what would have happened and wish you had tried.

But thanks for the post, you have made me realize my fears are ungrounded or manageable. I will go back to my hometown...

[Persephone]

Donna,

Only you and your spouse can decide what is right. And it sounds like you have her blessings.

As to the car, are there any possible options?

Use her car? Have her drive your car and either drop you off at the meeting or join you and come to the meeting (that could be off-putting for her)? See if one of the other members can pick you up so you don't have to drive? Rent a car for the evening?

I look forward to reading the details of your evening, but it is entirely O.K. if you opt out (we've all done that a time or two).

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Di]

Well if you are second guessing stressing and worrying :sad: most meetings I know of have a place to change for the girls not out. Maybe check out that option but most important is figure it out with your wife as she may have some ideas as well like driving you or doing the changing option at the meeting.

[Amy Fakley]

Didn't your wife just purge all your girly things for you like a couple weeks ago?

Are you sure she's ok with this?
As others have said, yes indeed the nerves are normal, but ... this also sounds like a classic case of the dreaded "pink fog", we talk about so often on the forum.

If you're taking risks you don't have to take, you need to ask yourself why. Are you craving the adrenaline rush of taking risks, as much as the opportunity for feminine expression? From your other posts it does sound like you've got adrenaline junky tendencies :-) Can you really live with the consequences of being outed to your neighbors and the police force in (what I am presuming from context) is a relatively small community?

There are ways to minimize these risks. If your wife is honestly ok with your going to the support group meetings ... many support groups have facilities for you to change, so you don't
have to come/go in girl mode. Rent a car ... it's pretty cheap these days.

A lot of the fear really is in our heads, no doubt, and overcoming them and just getting the hell out the door is huge. BUT ... don't take risks you don't have to take, unless you are completely wiling to live with the consequences, in which case ... what are you even waiting for! :-)

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Hi Donna,

First: I am so excited for you that you have come to a working arrangement with your wife to let you dress at some level and to go to the support group dressed. After the big confrontation and involuntary purge you have make big progress. Yeah for Donna!!!!

Second: Record the rugby and watch it later you stupid chick. I can tell by the Mona Lisa smile in you avatar that you already have decided to go anyway!

Third: Risk of being seen and recognized by someone you know? Well, we all must deal with that when we venture out and need to be willing to live with it if it occurs so if you have a real problem with that happening then just incorporate some stealth technology to make sure no one notices (change cars, leave off the wig until you get there, etc.).

Big Hugs from up yonder and I am so Happy for Donna,
Steph

[Hell on Heels]

Hell- o Donna,
I can feel the day of my first outing getting closer, I'll jump at the chance, but I'm certain that Ill go through the same exact emotional roller coaster, (except maybe for the Wallabies game) But sure, I'm going--- No wait, I can't, what if????? Is hard to work through, The fact of the matter here is you want to, you desire to, you have to! Until you do that desire will always be there. It may be a one time thing, you may feel so uncomfortable that you never do it again, but until you do go out that 1 time, you'll never know, and be stuck home wondering.
Best wishes, I hope you have a wonderful experience when it happens.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[MssHyde]

it gets easier, the more you go out the easier it gets.. try to act normal (as a woman) try to move as they would, stand like a woman, even pumping gas they have one foot up on the heel or on the toes, or leg wrap in front of the other.. guy stand more firmly footed.. acting the part is just as important as looking the part

[kimdl93]

It will be fine. Go for t
It and thank your wife appropriately for her efforts to support you!

[Julie Denier]

Your emotions are very normal, not unlike the ones I felt up until I went out dressed for the first time this past Saturday -- and I had a ball! If you're in the company of like-minded friends, it should be a wonderful experience ;)

[Tina_gm]

Give me a D-D give me an O-O... I am going to stop there. As much as I wish I was a cheerleader and wear those awesome little cheer unis... I am not going to be one here. I see too much reservation from you at this point. And your wife, who is on this forum, either foreign or hiding so she is not recognized, thats fine.... But obviously she has some hard reservations about all this. Yes, she wants to accept, but isn't quite there yet. I am not suggesting not going, but maybe instead of driving an obvious car with you being so obvious, go stealth, change after you get there. It might make it easier for you and you still get to go to your meeting as Donna.... Why bite off more at this point, go, but go slow.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'd like to say that it's like flying and breaking the sound barrier. A lot of shaking and fear going through, but smooth flying once you're past it and supersonic.

[Diversity]

Go For it, Donna! I wish you well!
Di

[Janine cd]

Hi,Donna. I've been through the same indecisive moments when attempting that first time out. After a few failed attempts, I went the whole way and ventured into a public square and to a small shopping mall. Surprisingly, nothing untoward happened.

[nvlady]

Have you considered renting a car for one day? Your wife could drive you to the rental place, you rent the car, and you drop it off the next day and have your wife pick you up.

[docrobbysherry]

Donna, whether or not u go this time? U WILL one day. And, mark my words!

The day will come when you look back on your feelings of trepidation and chuckle about them!

[Wifeofdonna]

I read all this, I know what your thinking. Yes, I am so happy. He is talking to me and asking permission. I want him to go and good for donna. I might drive donna to there or take my car. I am so happy, My husband is not crumby, mooning and angry. Finally my 3 kids and myself happy and healthy

[aussie cd]

Hi Donna
I'm in brisbane too, wife knows and is ok
I went to one of these nights advertised at a spring hill location 2nd sat of every month (but didn't check that this particular sat night it was cancelled) fronted up in all my glory to be told its not on :( turned around in my heels and went home...are you going to this place ?

[Donnagirl]

I can only wish I was is sunny Bris Vegas, I'm way down south in semi arctic Canberra. I was last up there in 1990 at Enoggera barracks, back in army days...

The place I'm going is a first Saturday of each month meeting and I'm positive it is on!!! Would hate to have rolled up, dressed to the nines only to be sent away.....

After all the support I don't think I can back out now. Hope to post a photo or several next week:)

[Mollyanne]

Donna Donna Donna, whats the worst thing that could happen>>>>>>>getting stopped by HWP for a broken tail light, then not having your drivers license, being asked to step out of the car for a field sobriety test while wearing heels, having your wig fly off because of a big gust of wind and then being told that everything is OK. lol lol lol

Seriously though, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! This is a time for enjoyment

Molly

[Tami Monroe]

I say go for it if you feel you need/want to do it. More power to you! I am in the same boat as others on here in the car department as I drive.....wait for it.......an ex-cop car complete with the push bumpers. Needless to say, it gets a lot of attention as do I, so therefore, if I were to ever drive it while en femme, it would be quite obvious to those who know I am the one who drives that car.

[Alice B]

You are going to have a great time and grow a lot from the experience.

[Melissa18]

Donna,
Go out and enjoy yourself, there will be plenty more wallaby games to watch on tv, but there will only Be one first time you went out dressed, enjoy it for what it will be, an exhilarating night that you will never forget.
Me, ill be staying to watch the game, dressersd for the occasion, naturally

[aussie cd]

report please :)

[Donnagirl]

Hi there,

Please see "I finally did it" in the picture and video forum.... In summary, successful night, massive rush and I'll be doing it again...

And happy that the wallabies won without my support!!!!

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?214926-I-finally-did-it!!!