dropping hints to the ex

[Ressie]

An ex girlfriend lives over 300 miles away and I've been talking to her quite often on the phone. Trying to be more open, I drop hints once in a while as it goes with her topics of conversation. i.e. she'll mention something about purses being a hassle, so I'll add that women's clothes usually don't have pockets! The other day her friend (who still lives in this area) said she bought men's T-shirts at thrift stores. I said that I've bought women's T-shirts and there not much different than men's.

This one is more obvious - The ex has been going to a church that is very LGBT friendly, and she told me (she was kind of shocked) about a few CDs that showed up one week. I blurted out that I have friends that are CDs and she asked how come? I told her I met them online mostly, LOL.

When we first got together nearly 30 years ago I confessed to her that I liked to wear lingerie and panties. She had a fear that I would go out dressed in public.

Back to the present, I'm not gonna bring it up again as I think she gets the picture but is in DADT mode. This is something that she really doesn't wanna talk about, and frankly I'm still afraid that she'll tell a couple of her GFs and the rumor mill will get started.

Anyone else have a similar scenario?

[~Joanne~]

Not I, usually an EX is an EX for a reason so it escapes me as to why you want her to know about your dressing let alone anything else in your life.

[paulaprimo]

so true joanne! honesty is suppose to be part of the relationship during the relationship, not afterwards!!
i can't see any good coming out of this... :)

[ashley_addams76]

Not I, usually an EX is an EX for a reason so it escapes me as to why you want her to know about your dressing let alone anything else in your life. <------------ THIS! Don't think that this can end well. I wouldn't discuss anything further.

[CrossJess]

There is no mention of why you split? If you parted on good terms and she is seen as a good friend then you telling her may result in her being a bit suspect of you because she would probably wonder what she was dating when she went out with you and also wonder what else you may of been hiding during the relationship.....would she feel that she couldnt trust you after that.. probably not and the friendship will desolve.... Sorry thats just how i would see it, this is something that should of come out during your relationship sweety i see no good telling her now xx

[Hell on Heels]

I don't have an Ex story, but with my current SO, it was a shopping experience.
She was shopping for a pair of dress pants to wear to work, she couldn't find anything in the women's dept. Of course I helped her do a thorough search! When she threw in the towel, I asked her if she had looked in the mens dept. She looked at me and said "the mens dept?", I simply said is there anything wrong with that? She quietly said "no". The quiet "no" was more of a I'm thinking, trying to process this kind of reply. we never did look. I'm sure there have been other times like this lately. Being more tolerant towards people and there differences has certainly changed with me, I'm sure she has recognized this.
Btw I have meet, and know several couples that have separated and have remained friends.
For all the doubters out there, It is possible.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Lorileah]

why do you care if your ex knows or not?

[Di]

why do you care if your ex knows or not?
Exactly what I was thinking!!!!
Unless you are trying to go back with her.....
And if you are trying to go back with her and be a couple again....do not play games ( dropping hints ect) be straight up.

[AllieSF]

Lorileah, It sounds like she may want to get back together with her. Good luck Ressie.

[Beverley Sims]

Girls who wanted to hit on me at one time would fake lesbian tendencies to get me interested.
They knew what I was and they wanted a part of it. :)

[Ressie]

OK, some of the back story for those interested. We got along great during our 14 years together, but we slowly grew apart. She was into her career and wasn't into sex. Other than that we were great together. She moved back to her home state in 1999 and stayed in Michigan (my home state). In 2001 I got married to someone else that turned out to be a mistake. Divorced in 2004.


This ex and I were very compatible as friends. We will not be getting back together as a couple. But because we are friends and are both currently single, we talk and share things.


I think I'm getting some good advice here and shouldn't hint any further. Better judgement would be to stop it. I guess it's hard to keep to myself sometimes.


Being single for 10 years is getting boring at this point, but I'm afraid of ending up with someone wrong again.

[Deedee Skyblue]

My first 'ex' is still one of my best friends. She didn't know about me when we dated, but I told her years later. It is nice having someone I can trust to talk with. Ex, to me, doesn't mean 'someone I wrote out of my life forever, with extreme prejudice'.

Deedee

[kimdl93]

So why are you dropping hints?

[stefan37]

Stop beating around the brush. If you feel you need to disclose, then do so. If not then stop dropping hints. You can put it right in front of people and only a few well get it. You can do anything you wish. The key is to own it. She is an ex for a reason.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ressie, Read my Signature line below.