Does your cross-dressing urge drop following orgasm?

[Confucius]

Does this describe you?
At some time you feel a powerful urge to cross-dress and it feels so wonderful, and highly arousing. You find yourself heightening this arousal experience and further stimulating yourself to the point of orgasm. Immediately following orgasm you find that you no longer experience the gratification response from cross-dressing. You may even feel dirty, or disgusted, and you remove your feminine clothing. However, within another hour you discover that cross-dressing, once again, makes you happy and gives you a sense of well-being. What is going on???

Some people who experience this wrongly believe that it only confirms that cross-dressing is a sexual thing. I believe it only supports the theory that cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia. Your brain is hard-wired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. As you brain goes into "contact with a female mode" it mimics this to the point of releasing neurotransmitters similar to a sexual encounter. Important neurotransmitters include; dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Dopamine is associated with expectation of gratification including sexual gratification. However with orgasm your dopamine levels immediately drop and protactin levels go up. Prolactin is associated with the "pulling away" after sex.
http://www.entelechyjournal.com/pulling_away_after_sex1.htm
http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain

If this describes you, then I believe that the neurotransmitters responsible for our condition reflect a hard biology issue, and not so much a psychological one. In order to get our neurotransmitters released then there must be neural connections which are communicating with each other. Activity from cognitive/sensory function from feminine objects produces an automatic and involuntary response in a secondary sensory pathway. Simply, if cross-dressing makes you happy, then its just the way your brain is hardwired.

Once you receive the "contact with a female" interpretation from your brain and the neurotransmitters are released then you are forced to take one of two possible routes. You must decide whether the contact with a female is internalized or externalized. If it is internalized then you believe that the female contact is coming from inside yourself. You have a female alter-ego. If you externalize the contact with a female is outside of yourself. You do not accept yourself as a female, but only a man with a dress. That would be similar to Grayson Perry in minute 19:00 of this interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G-2rgFLYzo

Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated.

[Alice Torn]

Confuscious, I think you are on to something, adn there is a lot of truth to it. Also, some of us have guilt and shame about it, from religious, and moral teachings, and traditions. A combination of both. Yes, I feel dirty afterward, and change and shower right after.

[AnneC]

This does make some sense. Does this help explain purging also?

[PaulaQ]

An interesting side note. MtF Transsexuals who start out cross dressing widely report that the sexual component goes away at some point. That was certainly my experience.

[Laura28]

I must say i use to feel that way, but not anymore and i dont know why. Maybe because i am not at peace with my crossdressing and it really isnt a sexual thing at all. Getting dressed does not turn me sexually at all. It does make me feel relaxed and happy. I know when i was younger it was more sexual and the guilt feeling would come right after and i would swear to myself never again.

[MissAmy]

To a point, though the same kind of feelings are similarly true about almost anything erotic and new to me. After some nervous first time tries, it becomes more natural and less "shameful".

[samantha rogers]

There was a time when this was the case, but no more. It faded long ago. Now, with HRT, it is entirely non existant.

[Teresa]

Confucious your prompted replies are sometimes asking for yes or no answers where there are grey areas . In principal I would possibly answer yes to you after the event but that was initially more to do with covering up the sex act and ridding yourself of the clothes before being discovered. The dirty feeling in some is possibly more to do with other people's opinion about the sex act !
When I read your description of CDing it almost suggests that if you want utter satisfaction you could pop an enhancement pill but if you want Cding to go away because you aren't interested in the outcome sexually then you can pop the appropriate pill ! Which suggests eventually we may be able to cure CDing !
Please I'm not saying you are wrong, you are better qualified than me to voice your opinion, your basic chemistry may fit us all but as individuals we are wired and act differently depending on outside influences.

[Katey888]

Confucius, let me say first of all, thank you and well done for finding some good and relevant docs and a really interesting interview with Grayson (to whom there is much, much more than just the fact he is, like us, a man in a dress..;)) - it's all good reading and I think I'll take a while to get my head around it.. but to answer your question and test your hypothesis...

The first half of your post describes my experience some time back... and were I being earnest (watch all the Grayson interview..) I would say that had been a fairly consistent experience for many years, until about the past 6-8 and then something started to change. Whether it was accidental or not, I reached a conscious understanding that just being dressed for as long as possible, was ultimately a more satisfying experience than... 'crossdressus interruptus'... And that in turn led to the pursuit of a more complete transformation (ie. makeup, wig, etc.) but perhaps that was simply because now I had more time dressed, it would be possible to go out during that time, and actually do something... And yes, perhaps there was and still is a certain frissance of excitement and risk associated with that.

Now I also believe that this isn't just psychological - that if this was just an eroticism thing, I'd be as happy with a dirty magazine or a bit of web porn rather than all this palaver we go through... so I'm with you on the hard-wired bit too - because I could also accept that this still isn't a binary, black or white thing - that we still get different degrees of this drive to dress and present.. :)

The bit I think needs clarification for me is this internal/ external contact thing... It feels - and has always felt - that I am playing the role of a female, even though I haven't had the feelings that I know many here have, of wanting to act out the female role sexually... Now, I'm not in a denial thing here (before someone grills that old chestnut!) as I know that I've got a few sexual quirks that might be a bit outlying so frankly, admitting to a bit of homo-eroticism wouldn't really make any odds now, and so it feels like an internalised alter ego.. but then wouldn't I be more effeminate as a male? (Maybe I am - just don't realise it?)

So - I don't know if that helps, but if you could send the answer back by return, I could go to my second beer of the evening a happy bunny! :D

Thought provoking as always, Confucius... :cheer:

Katey x

[bimini1]

I think you raise some valid points for sure. The root of it in the first place may not have been sexual at first. Then for some it turned sexual at puberty. A million differing experiences amongst us. There was a time when I was very young, middle high school age when this was the case. Wham bam and then felt so bad it would be sworn off........until the next time, and the next, and the next. Plenty can vouch for that. And after each time I really believed that it was the last time. But then I started staying dressed after the act, and a funny thing started to happen. The sexual tension started to lessen and lessen and then this really feminine sexuality started to emerge. This is where I started tucking away my male parts and did not want to touch nor see any parts of that. The payoff started to lessen. I'd say, you mean to tell me you did all of that (make up, clothes) for this (orgasm). Not worth it anymore. Now the thoughts are more of being the real female. I can't remember the last fantasy I even had where I was the male role. Sex with my wife is often heightened with me being the female in my mind.

Information overload but trying to stimulate honest discourse.

I think that as I get closer to 50, there is still some of that initial sexual energy there with the dressing itself, but it is channeled differently now. I can control it, it does not control me. Whereas it used to be the primary drive, now it's the last thing I think about. If I go out, sex does not even enter the picture in my mind. I'm just enjoying the role of a woman.

However, I think many of us get into trouble thinking the sex aspect equates somehow to the whole female experience which of course it does not.

[kendra_gurl]

I see nothing different among those of us who crossdress then experience a drop in sexual arousal following orgasm than those who use any other form of masturbation aid. I've ask many times of those who want to know if their crossdressing is sexual or not to just test it. Next time your urge to dress up becomes so strong you feel you must dress just step into a private place and give yourself a big O. Bet you do not dress for at least several hours.

Your contact with a female theory might be appropriate for some since there is such a broad range on the spectrum of gender but for a lot of us we know we are only a man in a dress therefore our dressing is a elaborate and well planned theater which helps to create the illusion of contact with the female version of ourselves, thus creating that feeling of euphoria.

[sissystephanie]

It has been so long since I had an orgasm that I don't even remember what it felt like! But I can say that over my 60+ years of CD'ing I never had a drop in sexual arousal because I was wearing female apparel! My late wife liked me as much in female apparel as she did if I was in male apparel or nothing at all. She never has a problem reaching a climax, and neither did !!

[femaletrouble]

yes this is true of me, i feel all sexy as a woman does when she is all dressed up in her sexy lingerie. i peak after climax an then i just change back into my normal drab male clothes...however this last 4 weeks i remain in my feminine clothes im thinkin why make it so brief an fleeting, this also applies when im just wearing average womens clothes there's no real strong feeling in these types of clothes i much prefer the silks an satin undies like the one's im wearing right now

[Jaylyn]

I believe that their is some truth to this article..... If one is married and as we age it seems that sex drops off also. Such as wedding night tearing off clothes and the feelings are there it seemed like all night. Especially in our early twenties. Males peak some where in there. Women peak in their forties on an average. Now say we both began to get older over the forties into the sixties. Some women could care less for sex, but still this dirty old man still likes a good romp in the hay from time to time but not as often as when I was forty and certainly not as often as in my twenties. I seem to dress more as I aged over sixty as wife really started losing her sexual appetite. Could it be that I'm finding my desire satisfied by dressing and then having an happy ending. This would certainly explain my desire for the more sexy short dresses taller heels and more makeup. It does explain the fact when I do have the happy ending but how does it explain that sometimes I just enjoy dressing to the max and watching tv or cleaning house other times. Maybe those are right also that tell me the ex part wears off and the dressing takes over.... I know it is a stress reliever in both situations for me. I enjoy the calmness I get from dressing and sometimes, even in my old age I enjoy the happy ending feelings from fantasy and dressing. Who knows????

[Elle1944]

How many of us are on those "other" CD/TV sites, you know the "_orn sites" or dating sites just for us. Sex and CD'ers. There is much more of that on the web than helpful forums such as this, and others seeking honest medical or psychological or help with a loved one who came out so they could understand what it's all about, and what do they find most "_orn, sex". Small wonder why we get the titles of slanderous name calling. And how were we raised and we hear it today, "dirty parts", "my junk", wonder why we feel ashamed when we please ourselves through masturbation we feel "dirty", guilty, make impossible promises to ourselves of "no more". Did I feel any different when masturbating in my male mode when I was having those times of self discipline of not dressing and acting out my fantasies, no, of course not, at least not for me. When I was visiting in NYC from Jersey for a weekend and had relationships with other TV's, oh well, "sex", I didn't take my clothes off and go home, I freshened up in the bathroom, pulled up my panties, put my dress and heels back on, touched up my hair and makeup, grabbed my purse and coat and went about the rest of the evening, we all did, nobody quit in disgust or guilt or shame, we did what was natural, a small intermission so to speak, just as I would if dressed as a man picking up a woman at a bar or my girlfriend and taking time out to make love and resume where we left off "clubbing". I suppose though and my understanding there are many different reason's why men and women cross dress, sexual relief and the fantasy wouldn't surprise me. But like what one poster said, all dressed up and made up after hours of preparations just to be over in 10 or 15 minutes of masturbation, why bother, just my opinion, but some do just that.

Just a side note of our "dirty parts". One day at work I had to go to the bathroom, I worked for DuPont at the time, I went to the men's room, washed my hands, visited the urinal and started toward the sinks to rewash my hands. I stopped and seriously thought, wait a minute, my "parts aren't dirty", I took a shower before coming to work, I put on clean panties (hadn't worn men's underwear for years by this time), I washed my hands first, "I'm clean, I didn't pee on my fingers", that reality smacked me like somebody up-sided my head with a 2X4. And one more thing I could not imagine me telling the priest at confession how many times I masturbated during my teenage years in one day let alone a week, in all my confessions they never heard me say "masturbate". I was raised catholic and it is supposed to be a sin, but so is fantasizing about having sex with a girl, let alone actually doing it for real, unmarried. Small wonder why we feel so guilty of our sexual identity. I could never tell my father of my inner feelings of born the wrong sex. He would have killed me and made another that looked just like me. He made horrible jokes about people just like me, CD, gay, lesbian, or homosexual, in my preteens, he would never know or find out, he died before I could tell him.

[Eselka]

Haven't read the articles yet but I'll definitely have a look at them, they seem to be really interesting. However to share my experience I can say that until very recently I was in the situation were I suddenly switched back to drab just after reaching an orgasm. Never exactly understood why, but the theories you mentionned Confucius cast a new light on it ! Thanks for sharing, that might help me understand myself better actually :)

As of now I feel like I'm at a turning point, this sudden drop still happens sometimes but it's not systematic anymore. It's very new to me so you could say I'm just discovering it.

[Sharon B.]

Yes, but I keep trying to work through it.

[Krista1985]

I've experienced this too, especially when I was still pretty new to dressing.

And occasionally I still do peel right afterwards too. But it's less a product of guilt or shame these days and more a product of, "I've got other stuff to do that needs my attention now." When I can stay gussied up after, I typically do nowadays.

Especially at first, I'd do the deed, then freak out a little. "Oh my God, what am I doing? Arrgh! What's wrong with me? Gotta get this stuff off and never wear it again... and I mean it this time!" Fast forward an hour, and I'd be hungry for another helping of girl clothes. Used to drive me nuts! But as I grew more and more into it, learned more about it and started getting more out of my CD'ing, I found the will to power through those sudden urges to peel and just relax en-femme. I totally get what you mean though, and agree with the neural pathways/we are wired this way idea too. Great observation!

[ReluctantDebutant]

This has been the Theory of cross-dressing I have been believed in for a few years now and it hasn't failed me. A few years ago I started to wean myself off of cross-dressing. Anytime the urge gets too strong I self induce an orgasm and every time the urge goes away. Sure I still think about it but I do not have a feeling of Needing to dress.

[WhisperTV]

Testing now... will get back to you...

Just kidding. :battingeyelashes: The answer is no, orgasm does not make me want to change back to men's clothes.

Edit:
And to be honest, the "brain interprets contact with women's clothes as contact with a real woman" idea doesn't really speak to me either.

[flatlander_48]

I think it is very hard to quantify and qualify our behaviors as we are all over the map. As soon as you find a group that lines up with a particular theory, there's another that is just the opposite. Eventually I think what people will find is that there are many variations under the umbrella of Cross Dresser and you really need to figure out what's going on for each one.

[Wildaboutheels]

Oh geeeeeee whiz. Are you telling me I have been doing it wrong for 50 plus years? Clearly I must be doing something wrong as I have yet to feel any shame or guilt.

"Some people who experience this wrongly believe that it only confirms that cross-dressing is a sexual thing. I believe it only supports the theory that cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia."

So are you saying all those guys on all those "other sites" aren't really CDers? [Those "other sites" DO outnumber this one by at least 10/1 if not 100/1. Or more.] I seriously doubt if any of them have ever felt any guilt or shame for using female clothing items as a TOOL. Which IS what they have in common with the vast majority here. Or maybe somehow you managed to "miss" those threads? Or maybe you simply don't believe the members who responded? That is your prerogative of course.

Just this site alone, presents boatloads of FACTS in the form of views, responses and which types of pics are the most "enjoyed" and/or popular. These FACTS simply confirm that EVOLUTION rules and is in charge. None of us can CONTROL what floats our individual boats and no amount of obfuscation is going to change that.

Probably 99% of all CDers use women's clothing as TOOLS, at least for a while. With very few exceptions, most here that have left that "phase" behind are 45ish or older.

Getting older does not change the facts though.

Does it?

Pavlov and his dog's and whistle...

And CDers and their clothes.

[Princess Grandpa]

Before I accepted this part of myself that's exactly how it went. I only wore women's garments during times of sexual draught. As soon as I was done the guilt and shame would consume me. I couldn't get the offending garment off fast enough.

Last year I was able to recognize the fact that I like to dress as a woman. After accepting this in myself things have changed completely. No longer do I dress merely for sexual gratification. Dressing may or may not involve a sexual encounter. My wife and I enjoy a very active sex life. After we finish I have no problem putting my girl clothes back on.

Hug
Rita

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Confucius, Maybe you need to relieve the pressure before you get dressed then you will not need to undress so quickly.

[Pat]

You're over-thinking it. :2c:

[NicolaF]

Thanks for posting those articles, both very interesting reads.

I must say this is something I have experienced many times in the past too, a big low after orgasm while dressed, and almost a rush to get undressed, but that feeling doesn't last as long or feel as strong in recent years.

[Janine cd]

When I was younger, this happened often but as I grew older, the sense of disappointment went away. Since I am now in my golden years, orgasms are almost never to occur, so the feeling of being dressed is an ongoing reward.

[AKADonna]

I have always had a "let down" after orgasm - whether in the marriage bed or by hand. Whether I'm wearing guy clothes, girl clothes or no clothes! I don't thing my crossdressing has anything to do with it.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, it used to.

[Jenniferathome]

?... I believe it only supports the theory that cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia. Your brain is hard-wired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female.
....
What you have here is a wild rationalization for cross dressing.

[Adriana Moretti]

yea this went away a long time ago..actually any self satisfaction during dressing went away years ago ( note the word self) ...i cant even remember the last time. Dressing to some becomes more than just a sexual thrill..I am one of those people...for some though...they never leave that area...thats why we are all different . The crossdressing spectrum is so large and we all sit at different places.

[Vale]

More often after orgasm I feel more relaxed and gentle than ever, and perfectly comfortable in my feminine attire. I have the advantage of a quiet home where I do not need to hide my dressing or my sexuality.

Vale

[Sc0rp10N]

Lots of big paragraphs in this thread. I'm just going to be honest since that's the only way I know how to be these days. Cd-Ing is a sexual thing for me. I enjoy the thrill and when its over, its over. Same as guy mode sex. When its over, its time for a snack and a smoke. But, lately, I've been wanting to make it last a little bit longer, maybe due to the effort I go to to try to make myself look just right, I don't want to dismantle the sculpture just yet, or maybe a little bit of "it just feels right" and I want to wake up this way and THEN take it all off. Just my 2 cents.

[Traceyjo]

In my early days of dressing which didn't start until my late 30s it was an extremely sexually arousing experience. I had to have an orgasm at the end of any dressing session just to release the excitement and intensely pleasurable feeling being created. As soon as I did I would lose interest and change back to drab but didn't feel guilty or dirty. I've always compared it to intercourse where you get to the stage where you have to climax and then feel satisfied .
That intensity of arousal is not so evident now but dressing is still a very sexual experience for me. I usually still have an orgasm when it is time to return to male mode as it make the need to change back less frustrating. I still feel great in my female mode after the orgasm so it doesn't take the enjoyment away as it used to.
Anyway who doesn't love an orgasm.

[Bryanne]

Having been away from dressing for so long --at least physically, as I thought about it every day! -- and now coming back to it, I have to say that the excitement and subsequent release were highs of almost unexpected levels. However, when I first began dressing, it wasn't a sexual thing at all for me. It just seemed like something I needed to do. I enjoyed it, and it felt right. I became something far more sexual in nature following an experience with a girlfriend in my teens, but that is a whole other tale for another place. As I dress more and more these days, I still experience the thrill of getting dressed, but it grows while I am dressed, and like others have said, it is that release that allows me to go back to boy mode. While I love that feeling, it is always the signal that I have to put the enjoyable sessions of being en femme behind me for a while.

[hope springs]

Yes confusious i would say my urge to stay dressed diminishes. However, my brain found a way around that. Im capable of multiple "dry" orgasms. After which there is no refractory period and hence no dopamine release. It seems my mind REALLY wants to stay en femme because this was a spontaneous discovery. It isnt something i read about or practiced t.echniques to achieve
Your thesis is sound but since our internal motives and goals vary so widely it would be hard to say how many it applies to. It sounds like many CDs either never had a sexual compenent or worked through the "shame" phase. As always you bring up good points

[Secret Drawer]

Simply taking out the CDing element here and we see that the science proves that no matter what the catalyst, the post orgasm refractory period can cause some shame or guilt feelings. It really doesn't matter what the fantasy is at all to get the same result. Perhaps I am truly an anamoly, but crossdressing by itself has never been a catalyst for my masturbatory fantasies. Even looking back on my youth, the poor quality and size of my female wardrobe would not allow me to think of myself as the woman inside myself!?

[Sc0rp10N]

I don't equate the want to get back to guy mode afterward as reflecting shame. I equate it with the orgasm. The orgasm is over, the stimulus is over, the clothes come off. I may have been embarrassed the first or second time I ever had sex with feminine attire in, but only embarrassed, not ashamed, and it went away as soon as my wife assured me it was perfectly ok and she had fun too.

[Jaymees22]

Yes! Yes! Yes!!! and then I stay dressed for a while.

[AprilMayy<3]

That first paragraph describes me in full detail, it's frightening :( But I've been recently making mental statements to myself not to....you know. The time before, during, and after dressing I know the part of actually wearing the clothes makes me feel amazing, not just the part towards the end of dressing. I've been not doing the end part more and more, and it's starting to feel easier and easier not to. I don't WANT crossdressing to be a sexual thing. I love the simple part of just wearing feminine clothing, and that's it. The sexual part feels like a demon or something I'm just trying to get rid of.

[Dianne S]

I thought falling in love, having sex and getting married would cure my gender dysphoria. And it did, actually, for a while. But eventually it resurfaced and nothing makes my urge to be female abate. :(

[sexycindy]

When I had first told my partner she was supportive but assumed it was a sexual thing (so because of the whole Pavlov dogs thing) I had learnt that dressing meant sex and orgasm, but after we sort of explored my feelings a bit and she realised it was more now I don't tend to have those feelings.

Like I can dress up, be fine and then laying under the covers (or one of us gets that feeling) like usual we do stuff, but after its just like when I do it in guy form, I sort of just feel sleepy and then get over it, but stay dressed and fine.

[CrossJess]

No not me, i think thats largly due to being dressed as a girly day in day out so to me wearing girls clothes is no different to wearing guys clothes, ive done it since i was 6 so for me there is no sexual feelings linked to my wearing girls clothes, i wear girls stuff just because i love wearing girls clothes.

Also more often than not im still wearing certain parts of girls clothes while doing the dirty deed with my bf just because he gets turned on with me wearing certain things, though i will confess me wearing some clothes for him makes me feel sexy does that make a sexual link hummmm

[Desirae]

For my Cding there has always been a sexual arousal and release. Usually, immediately after orgasm, I remove the female attire and put back on my male garb. I don't feel its about disgust or embarrassment. I feel I'm just "done" and see no more need to stay in the clothing. As a matter of fact, my first orgasm ever was achieved while I was wearing my sister's clothing when I was about 12.

Like most others here, I have my own theories about a lot of things to do with CDing. Without going into a lot of detail into any of these theories at this time, let me just say that I think our experiences, and what we experience, at certain times, doing certain things, makes connections in our brains related to those experiences. In my case of Cding in my sister's clothing and reaching orgasm when I was young, I feel a connections was made then and there to connect female clothing with orgasm. Yes, I know that most of us can trace our beginnings of CDing back to our early childhood like around 4 or 5, myself included. But, there was no sexual component at that time. I think that given the intent, we can make (in our brains) just about anything we do into a sexual stimulus.

About a year ago, I found and downloaded off the Internet a flash tennis game. It's a great game. Anyways, you play against the computer. Both players are female. For some reason a few months back, I was playing the game and I started wishing how I was a female tennis player. Pretty soon I was imagining I WAS the female player in the game playing against the other female player (computer). I started to get aroused. Now, just playing the game gets me aroused. Every time. Connection made.

[curvious]

Yes. This frequently happens to me and then I feel ashamed or guilty for a period (several hours afterward). But I must admit, I have never felt as alive as I do when I crossdress prior to any orgasm.

[AlexisWest]

yes, that's exactly how it is for me.

[Launa]

There was a time when this was the case, but no more. It faded long ago. Now, with HRT, it is entirely non existant.

Well I think HRT is the answer to the problem! I like it.

[Farrah]

Its still true for me. However, I don't feel like CDing is sexual for me, if that makes sense.:confused2:

[Ally.Nichole25]

My other half is wanting me to sleep with him while he is in full dress and I agreed to doing it since his birthday is coming up soon and I know this is something he has always wanted to do. This will be the very first time I have ever seen him fully dressed and I do hope that I can go through with it for him. I love him so much and I know this is something he has always wanted to do so I am going to try my best to pull through it.

[Lori B]

hmmmm,,,,sometimes,but usually I just pull on a clean pair of panties or thong and I'm good to go!:doh::heehee:

[Amy07]

Yes, until the next orgasm, dress new, freshen up, ready to go again.
Like a race horse....

[Stephanie Julianna]

Interestingly, as I have gotten older the urge does not go away when I orgasm. When I was younger the urge went away quickly. Now the desire to stay dressed stays high and I return to whatever activity I was doing dressed without quickly disrobing like I usedto do when I was younger.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't usually have sex of any kind while dressed as a girl, however when I have, the preference of wearing female clothing didn't change at all. sort of just pull up the panties and get back to whatever I was doing before the urge hit me.

[missVS]

For me after the orgasm the feeling is naturally diminshed as I get so excited with the whole routine of shaving than makeup than forms than lingerie the wig and than heels. After all this I am really going and afterwards usually end up lounging and changing into a gown and another outfit before bedtime.

[Taylor Ray]

For me, the journey to accept myself as a crossdresser took many years to fully embrace. Let's face it: there are many social and familial taboos against crossdressing, and their influence is very powerful. (If you want to validate this and you are a private dresser, just walk out your front door one day in a wig and dress and start talking to all of your neighbors!)

So I tend to think of this process as more natural and less "rationalized/scientific" than the original post. After all, many of the women I dated in the past would get "dolled up" in a hot dress and hot lingerie for a hot date, only to return to cotton panties and sweat pants once the "denouement portion" of the evening's Shakespearean trajectory had finally revealed itself.

Were all of them, perhaps, re-uniting with the synaptic connections of their inner psychological dualities?

Perhaps. Um, or, maybe they just wanted to get comfy to watch a movie and drift off into a delightful sleep.

[Jenny Heals]

Yes I know and experience that sensation, although it doesn't take an hour for me to get over it--more like 5 or 10 minutes. I will say, however, that ever since I became open with my SO about it and we started fooling around with me in girl mode, now I often just stay dressed after sex or orgasm. When I eventually do take off my stockings, heels, etc. its just because its time--not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed. But I totally can relate to what you're saying

[Tracii G]

CDing was never a sexual thing for me.
Maybe the first time I put on a pair of panties I felt a little twinge but it never turned me on to the point of an orgasm.

[geri]

i have crossdressed for years and when i have sex, i get aroused, have an prostate orgasm and i feel wonderful. no guilt at all. but as i get older, the orgasms get further apart. ( damn ). i will continue to live my life as is until the day they lay me away.
i cuss my father out thinking he is the one that determined me. but after all the years, i am geri and love it.

love and kisses to all,
geri danielle

[Pink Susan]

I do feel sexy ,dressing in my pretty clothes , looking at myself , and this is me , whether orgasm is involved or not , and I wish to dress like this all the time

[ChristinaK]

Good stuff! I think you hit the nail on the head for me. Now that I'm a little older, I still get aroused by women's clothing but also love dressing up and acting like one. But, you are correct in that my desire diminishes after an orgasm.

[joanna4]

I remember the urge would disappear as if I would just snap out of a trance following orgasm. I would instantly feel guilty and disgusted. However, these last few years have shown a diminishing effect. The feeling I feel now is satisfaction and peace with myself.

[MichelleHart]

I can honestly say that in the beginning, the feelings I had were somewhat sexual but only because I felt like most teenage girls trying on sexy lacy undies for the first time. As time went on I never did feel that the clothes had any real effect on sex other than to entice my partner at the time to desire me more. Even after I became sexually active, I never felt like my dressing abated and in fact if I was staying the night I would put on a nightie when I cuddled up to fall asleep. Today, I look back at my years of dressing and see that I was more sexually active when I was dressed than when I am not.

[bimini1]

So for those who responded to this thread. Is it a fetish plain and simple? I've struggled with this. Thinking it is a fetish I'm taking too far, making too much out of, taking too seriously. It didn't start out sexually. But where something starts off as and where it ends up at is two different things.
I think for me it had a fetish stage to it but grew out of that into something else that it should have been of was in the firs place. Almost like coming full circle. When it started at 10 it was not sexual. Then it got sexual, now it's not nearly as sexual. But I can still go there if I want to. If I have not dressed in a while it can be more sexual.

[bordner]

I think for me, it was, and it was because it was a trained response to all of the years that I had to secretly sneak in some playtime. I would only be able to do it while I had the house to myself, whether when I was a teen or when I was married. Now that I'm on my own, I'm able to dress up whenever and stay dressed up if I want. Like others have said, when I'm done, I just put on a clean pair of panties and then go about something else until I'm ready to do it again.

In answer to another question that I saw, to me crossdressing is definitely a sexual thing. At least for now it is. I'm still pretty new at it. Hopefully, though, that feeling of excitement that I get from it will never go away!

[Mishell]

I've noticed that for me as well. Doesn't happen all the time but most of the time. I thought I was just weird. I've purged due to this many time. I think it may be something worth looking into to help both myself and my girlfriend understand me better. Thank you for bringing up this topic.

[Melody1]

Usually not, I want to take off my clothes if their still on, but lingerie stays. Post orgasm in drag feels super fem.

[Charla McBee]

These days it's hardly even sexual, just something I have to do to keep myself sane. If you do any serious soul-searching about why you crossdress, be careful. You might open up a huge psychological can of worms.

[Amilia Who]

It's definitely changed as I've gotten older, but it's sometimes a sexual thing others its more for comfort and release.

[brit_cd]

i used to do that. sometimes it would lead to a purge. Now that i understand myself more and realize there are alot out there like me who dress i no longer do it. I have not purged my stuff in a few years either.
but for years i did it. i felt like a freak sometimes after thinking what am i doing. i thought nobody else does this why am i. but i have found so many friends online and so much info i feel good about it now. wish i could dress up mpre.

[NicoleScott]

If all the reasons for crossdressing are put in a pie chart, it seems logical that the bigger slice of pie that represents sexual arousal, the more the crossdressing urge dimishes after reaching the happy place.
I don't want to keep eating graham crackers, melty marshmallows and chocolate after reaching smorgasm.

[Mink]

smorgasm

ha! love it!

[heather88]

I have had this problem more than enough. I think the problem is that because so many of us are limited to a certain amount of time during any day of the week, that what happens is that more often than not, we releave ourselves and as such we define it more as a sexual thing rather than being something that is a part of who were are simply because of the time limitations that are put on us either by ourselves, society, or the SO. I feel that if we did not feel as if we were under a constriction about not doing this or that, that we would be able to keep a better grip on our mindset, instead of coming to a quick thought process that happens especially after orgrasm that says purely because of the short time we were interacting with that part of ourselves that we were doing something wrong, when all we have done was try to embrace all of our sides, instead of just one.

[hope springs]

Well said heather. Time constraints on some of us certainly could impact our outlook

[heather88]

Ill about guarntee that it messes me up. i think its because we'll build ourselves up like all day or all week in some cases about a window that we have to embrace our otherside without fear of others opinions and such and like anything else it gets you excited. so it might take you 2 hours to shower and shave and do ur makeup and ur nails and ur hair and put on a great outfit, only to take it off as fast as you can after we've relieved ourselves as if someone is going to come through the door with a video camera and put it on the internet.

[nadia]

this thread is very interesting, thank you very much to the OP for posting this... again i thought i was the only one
Nadia =)

[Charla McBee]

so it might take you 2 hours to shower and shave and do ur makeup and ur nails and ur hair and put on a great outfit, only to take it off as fast as you can after we've relieved ourselves as if someone is going to come through the door with a video camera and put it on the internet.

That's funny, I've taken a lot of pictures lately and actually took some video yesterday with a mind to maybe put it online in the future.

[heather88]

Its different when it is done intentionally and the person being photographed or taped wants it or is at least ok with it. but i understand what you're saying though Charla, I've been thinking about putting some pictures up but I feel like my facial hair is in the way of a facial shot :heehee:

[Charla McBee]

That's one problem I don't have too much trouble with in girl mode, never could get anything close to a respectable beard growing. The best I could ever manage was an ugly little thing on my chin that I had for a while a few years back, looks mostly ridiculous in pictures. I was trying very hard to assert the masculine in those closeted days.

It's a strange paradox now. Guy mode wants to be a viking and girl mode wants to be a girly girl but I can't really achieve either.

[ringedjohn]

The sexual component was there for me initially but no longer. And I never felt either dirty or guilty.

[wanda66]

Yes, same story ,I don't feel guilty any more and I don't have to have a sexual conclusion . I will say tho I do enjoy it when I do !

[KaylaRoxx]

kinda... but i only get that feeling of being disgusted with myself if i'm masturbating, and i get that feeling even if i'm not dressed up, and if i do do that while i'm dressed up feeling the need to take off my girl clothes and stuff is usually just because i'm already sleepy and somehow my make up gets all messed up. i'm i've only had sex once or twice while dressed up, and in that case the opposite actually happened, and there were no feelings of disgust or anything with myself or my crossdressing. your point about it being a form of synesthesia makes sense, but i don't think it applies to everyone, as, at least for me, while it is somewhat sexual it's more just something i like to do and i'm turned on by the same things whether i'm dressed up or not, there are no feelings for me of having female contact while i'm dressed up.

[Richelle423]

in my younger years it was more of a fetish thing. nowadays if I want to pleasure myself I don't have to be en femme or en drab just in my birthday suit. Being dressed no longer facilitates my gratifications.My dressing represents the femine side of me of who I wish to be and that's it.

[bill1962]

Yes, I think so. But once I orgasm I do lose all interest in sexual activity and not just crossdressing.

[susmitha]

Yes, the urge drops as soon as I orgasm. That is why I consider myself not fully TS, but only border case. I can get an orgasm just by imagining that I am a beautiful woman and pressing my thighs together.

[Hermana]

No, the urge stays the same, and probably because I compartmentalise different aspects of my life. Having an orgasm is always great, but it does not have a decisive bearing on how I feel about doing anything afterwards, although I am pretty sure I am much more affable company afterwards... :)

[Michelle PJ]

So, in a busy life with work and my projects at home, opportunities to dress are slim and slender. My dressing is reduced to just bra, panties and thigh highs getting ready for work followed by arousal and orgasm. And yes, the clothing comes off in a hurry. Anyway, during the warm weather months my routine is to let my body hair return so I'm less inclined to want a full dress experience. Looking forward to October!

Michelle

[Frédérique]

Does your cross-dressing urge drop following orgasm? Does this describe you?

No, it doesn’t describe me. However, my orgasm urge rarely drops, regardless of what I’m wearing…:battingeyelashes:

[madi22rope]

It drops almost instantly after orgasm and I've even forced myself to keep the clothes on after which eventually leads to me feeling more comfortable

[Aleca]

First, I thank you for posting this topic as it is very relevant to my experiences as a crossdresser. Over the years I have been to ashamed and in denial to admit stuff related to being aroused, masturbating as a crossdresser in fear of being classified as unprofessional, non-congenial, a pervert, etc...; just being afraid I would get kicked out of websites, forums, chat rooms, posts deleted, etc.... that related to anything transgender. So, I admire everyone's courage and honesty here.
My desire does drop, usually for 2-3 hours following orgasm but mostly because it leaves me totally exhausted and take off clothes, wig, etc... as I might be covered in sweat at that point and need to cool off. Guilt can have a religious context to it, especially when trying to be a practicing Christian and also feeling that it is unhealthy when doing it for too many hours a day or too often which has lead to high blood pressure, heart palpitations and dizziness. So this becomes a serious issue of which I struggle with all the time. Right now there seems to be little support for it but might be growing. I was told by a therapist this was a type of sex addiction about 6 years ago, although I look at Sex-Addicts Anonymous websites, books, etc.... and see no mention of crossdressing.