Are you a hot guy??

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Okay, you all know I'm figuring things out here so don't hate on me yet, okay?? lol.

Seriously though, one major issue I have suffered with through all this is this idea (written all over the Internet, I might add) that crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome. I personally feel insulted on behalf of my H and everyone here when I read this (often!) as I know my H is a good looking guy, he's also pretty good at being a guy, which he is most of the time. But this information does not help a girl feel secure. I've always been considered an attractive girl myself in the ways that society say are attractive (I'm cynical about external beauty as when you have it, few people want to know who you really are:( ) but when I think of my H's dressing I'm left feeling defective somehow, like other women would have chosen better. I know, I know...so horrible, right?!? But really, you all spend enough time in front of the mirror to understand such a comment. I know you get it.

So, forgetting how much I hate society's superficial idea of beauty, are there any hot guys here who can totally refute this nonsense that it's an ugly guy's pastime?? And for those here who assume they're ugly, is this because you think you're better looking as a woman (I'd personally like to be the judge of that) or have you truly been ousted by society? I'll just say now that this girl loves everything male, men in general are incredibly sexy (other GG's here would likely agree) so maybe you're not seeing yourselves objectively?

Anyway, another Tink thought for the week. I like to keep you all busy and you're all helping me HUGELY!! Ha, maybe I should start a weekly 'Tink's Thought-Provoking Question' section.

(GG's, please feel free to answer on behalf of your SO:) )

[Katey888]

So.... (rushing to confirm Hot Guy status by being first to answer.... ) weekly sounds doable, Tinks - daily Thought-Provoking would be a killer!

Have you looked through the 'Boy mode vs Girl mode' thread in the Gallery? Have you.....? :D What are your thoughts?

Even allowing for a slightly skewed sample (not everyone is willing or happy to post those pics together...) that thread tells me we're pretty much a normal cross-section of 'hot' ranging to 'tepid'... I don't get the feeling that many here feel 'ousted' by society as a male - in fact I think we generally have a bigger representation here from the more successful and better educated part of society (in general - not exclusively!).. So I think you may be barking up the wrong tree with that one... :)

Don't feel defective! I wish I could give you a big hug and send you on your way feeling normal - there's nothing wrong with you or your H! :)

It's other peoples' problems really.... We're like folk in wheelchairs (metaphorically) - people stare, don't know what to say... You're right to be cynical... but I agree we won't see ourselves objectively - that's why we come here... for the unrelentingly honest feedback.. :lol:

Keep smiling Tinks - a lot worse can happen in life... :cool:

Katey x

[Donnagirl]

Hey Tink,

I reckon I was a good looking guy when I was 'wooing' the missus... I was ridiculous fit, 2:35 marathons, diver, swimmer, just out of the military. I had the muscles, six pack, even a little sun bleached blonde hair. I was working as a dive master at the local dive shop and diving for the navy as a reservist. But even then I dressed. (30" waist, 38 inch chest... I could fit into most everything).

Although I didn't realise it til much later, I was 'hot'. (I was useless at picking up on the signals from girls... Oh how many opportunities I missed!!!!).

Twenty years later it's a little different.....

[Wifeofdonna]

Hi,

I agree, back then he was hotties! I am very lucky got him. I was working at the dive shop and I grab him..

[Amanda M]

Me, hot? Not ugly, but hot - not really. My wife, however, would say otherwise! And,I might add, she is a good judge of most things, so I'm happy with that, Tinks!

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Ha, I still seriously love you Katie. Always with the common sense answers! And a daily Tink question would hurt my head more than yours. I would be asking what color your panties are in no time. Wait a minute....I think that's been done :)

And yes, I've perused the 'boy versus girl mode' photos and definitely seen some 'hot guys' in our midst. Of course, mentioning such a revelation is awkward here. How do you all feel getting told you're hot as a guy? Does this make the girl feel less attractive? So yep, I've avoided saying anything there as I figured it won't go down very well. I'll also be honest and say I think you all put more effort into your 'femme' photos than your male photos. The poor guy often just looks annoyed while the girl looks positively ecstatic. So I'm not sure how helpful that thread is. I have a feeling it's a wee bit biased toward the girl mode.

And I can always do with a hug :)



Hi,

I agree, back then he was hotties! I am very lucky got him. I was working at the dive shop and I grab him..

WifeofDonna, thank you! That makes two of us with hot back-then husbands!



Me, hot? Not ugly, but hot - not really. My wife, however, would say otherwise! And,I might add, she is a good judge of most things, so I'm happy with that, Tinks!

Amanda, I'm certain your wife knows best x

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have never considered myself attractive en drab. When I was younger I really thought I was ugly and disgusting looking... with age and wisdom not so much anymore, but I do feel I am really "bland" as a guy and not attractive per se... just sort of "ehh"... I have never really been told I am attractive as a man, come to think of it. The limited companionship I have had in my life was more out of sympathy than physical attraction (them to me.)

[Traceyjo]

I'm quite a good looking guy but not one to attract much female attention just due to my appearance. I'm slim, fit and have good muscle tone and I think these are good attributes to enhance my presentation as a woman. I've had so much more attention and admiration in my femme persona than I ever have had as a male and that is one of the great pleasures I have as a crossdresser. I'm much happier admiring what I see in the mirror when I'm a girl.

[Teresa]

Hi Tink,
We all look in the mirror male or female and see a few more lines, I guess a guy can call it maturity and girls call it old age !
I like many don't like the receding hair line or total hair loss and once body and leg shaving starts, possibly I'm like many prefer not to have it back. Only yesterday when I stepped out of the shower and saw how ugly my back hair looked, I thought does my wife find this attractive ?
As much as I would like to show my guy-girl pic comparison for you to decide, you would probably say nice looking guy but once you start to apply makeup and the wig the guy disappears ! Maybe you haven't gone from an ugly guy but the mirror is showing an attractive girl !
To feel that I haven't been ousted by society but strangely I want to be accepted by society in my other role ! It's just wanting to live out the other side of a Cders being. The hardest part to deal with is not wanting it full time but want the acceptance to do it as I choose ! That's when most of our problems really start !!!

[Kate Simmons]

If you would ask my GF she would no doubt say I'm hot but she may be slightly prejudiced. :heehee: Appearance is okay but my focus has always been on the person. In fact, my one rule for friendship or any relationship is to always just be yourself. If you can't appreciate yourself, what am I or anyone else going to do? No way do I feel that CDing is an ugly man's pass time. Quite the contrary. The attempt is to show the inner feelings in an outward way. That having been said I would say that most of us are pretty damn good looking. It's what we make it really my friend.:battingeyelashes::)

[Marcelle]

Hi Tink,

Naturally if you ask me "I am a hot guy" ;) (just kidding). Well my mom always told I was handsome but then again that is what moms are supposed to do :).

In all seriousness I would say I am average and I must have something redeeming or my lovely wife would have taken a pass on me so many years ago. I don't dress because I think I am ugly as a guy although I will admit that at 5'6" in the guy world that brings me below the height average so I might have a wee bit of "little man syndrome" :doh:. I also don't dress because I think I make a prettier girl (not by a long shot). I dress because it feels right in either gender. For the record, I like both sides of me but I think I do guy much better.

So am I a hot guy well . . . you be the judge. I posted a before/after picture (with a bit of fun) at the link below. It is the one set of photos which is more like a comic book story . . . me en boy and me en femme. :) :battingeyelashes:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?213056-Sometimes-a-girl-just-needs-a-secret-room

Hugs

Isha

[Deedee Skyblue]

Hey, Tinkerbell... when I was single, there were a few women who found me hot. I wouldn't go out of my way to make that claim, though. Most women find my brother hot, so I know what it really means - he has it, and I really didn't. I am not a failure as a guy, though. I was a hotshot jock in high school, a great wrestler, and one of the 3 toughest guys in my senior class, and up until the recent great depression, successful in a male-dominated field. And several of the women who know I dress have expressed stunned surprise, as they think of me as being very masculine. And I was dressing before I had any idea of what success or failure as a guy meant - I was caught wearing my mom's slips (several at one time!) when I was in kindergarten.

I really don't think ALL crossdressers dress because they are failures at being male, or even not very good at being male. Can't speak for everyone, but in my case, this is not the reason.

Deedee

[Tinkerbell-GG]

So am I a hot guy well . . . you be the judge.

Um, can I say 'nice guns!' without insulting Isha?? lol. Yes, you're a hot guy with one of those swoon-worthy, winning smiles and your wife is a lucky lady :) And honestly, I don't think height matters much to women if they're secure in themselves, so 'little man syndrome' is really just 'insecure girl syndrome' with the buck passed to the man!

Deedee, I don't agree either with the 'failed man' theory running around the Internet and that's why I posted this thread. When my H first told me of his 'kink', I was as shocked as your girlfriends. I would never have picked him to do this and had no hint that he had issues with being a man. I've later found out that sure, there were little things in his past like an absent father etc, but after reading here I'm not even sure they matter. I think this masculine failure theory is BS!!

I think we need to let the world know that ALL types of men crossdress, including the hot ones. Weirdly, I suspect this little fact would help with general acceptance. Look at Bruce Jenner in his hey day. Wow, now that's one hot man, and Kris herself clearly didn't care how he dressed in private, he was that hot!!

Okay, now I'm just being shallow. I fear you've all been a bad influence on me! :)


I have never considered myself attractive en drab. When I was younger I really thought I was ugly and disgusting looking... with age and wisdom not so much anymore, but I do feel I am really "bland" as a guy and not attractive per se... just sort of "ehh"... I have never really been told I am attractive as a man, come to think of it. The limited companionship I have had in my life was more out of sympathy than physical attraction (them to me.)

Vickie, I don't think anyone is 'ehh'. I think self perception makes us think this, but we're ALL attractive to someone if we would only let them see us as we want to be seen.

[Erica Marie]

I would not consider myself hot at all. I do my best to stay in physically fit condition and expressing my female side has brought forth alot of comments that I look quite a bit younger than I really am, but as far to say hot, never was and honestly Im ok with that.

[Laura912]

Yeah, hot guy...but I take some estrogen and turn down the air conditioner and it's better. Sorry, sense of humor out of its cage again. Wife and a very close friend have said handsome. Was too much of a nerd growing up to test the "hotness" of myself. Had too much respect for women but that does not mean disrespect for men. Just more comfortable around the women.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I... never.... liked how i looked from age 10. and im coming up 67 and nothing has changed my thoughts on that, i would have not made a good looking man / male . and i dont make a good looking female / woman. stuck in the middle and no where to go. , that sums it up .

makeup not going to happen does nothing for me, yes im very... hard... on myself and with good reason im not a fool or stupid to even think i could look as a normal female / woman,
yes i can dress nicely like i say a woman can bring her clothes to life , i, just ... wear them....no more than that.

if you could meet me youd soon see why,


...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

I'm getting too old too be Hot. My wife thinks I'm reasonably attractive. I don't see it, never have. I suppose physically, I have some remnants of an attractive male physique. Time is eroding that too.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm older than dirt and more attractive now than I've ever been! It's all in the presentation and self confidence. I know who I am and I'm quite happy with me. I'm no longer filled with doubts and fears. I've known beautiful women and have learned well from them. The old adages of "confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac" and "true beauty emanates from the inside out" have proven true time and time again for both men and women! The funny thing is, the older I get the less I want to get entangled in the complications of less than perfect relationships. Oh hell, I'm probably gay. Yeah, right!

[WhisperTV]

One time my Ex and I passed a statue of Adonis in a museum. She whispered to me "Your butt is better than his." Yes, I was hot back then.

I'm not hot now. I'm 50 years old. But I consider myself to be good looking and in decent shape. I'd also say I'm a better looking man than a woman.

[ronny0]

Me "Hot Not!"

Another aspect of your thought.......
The girls always get prettier at quitting time!
Saying that with another thought, and a put down on our real life world.
To some (or many) women guys being Hot can also equate to money and cars etc....
(see http://edition.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/13/o.laws.of.sex.attraction/index.html?iref=24hours )
Also PBS had a good program on this:
One of the test was showing flash cards of guys and asking the women to rate them 1 through 10.
Then the same photos were shown but included a income figure for each guy.
The tester was able to come up with a dollar figure that would bump a guy up in the numbers to compensate for his genetic shortcomings.

With those thoughts in mind:
IMO Another attraction to presenting as female would be. Most or many guys show their attraction to women regardless of how they rate 1 - 10, they still 'look'.
While women do not generally go out of their way to show their interest / approval of a guy.

[Ressie]

Yes.. ssssmokin'!

I had a cute face when I was younger and girls would say I was cute, but I never heard them say I was handsome. There are guys with a rugged look that are probably considered hot don't you think? I'm not tall enough to be uber attractive to women, and being shy hasn't helped either.

Men don't have to be good looking to be hot IMO. Confidence seems to go a long way in attracting women. So far, I haven't seen any CDs with a face that only mom could love.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tink, I was an above average looking guy that was and still is at 71yrs concerned with my appearance .

[KatieGG]

My husband is very good looking, he had many girlfriends when we were in high school and still when we go out I catch a women checking him out now and then. The bad part is he know it too lol. I have looked at the boy mode vs girl mode threads here and I have to say there are some very good looking guys here.

[samantha rogers]

Well, Tink, how does one answer such a question ....,that is without appearing seriously vain and self absorbed...lol...oh, wait, this is a board of crossdressers...never mind. :-)
Beauty, or good looks or in this case, "hotness" is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. So what is attractive varies according to the perspective of the viewer. Some men may be considered really "hot" because of a cute butt or a ruggedly handsome face or a real hardbody physique or just a great smile. It just depends, right?
In my case, I guess I was never a body builder but I must have had a degree of good looks since I was, when still acting, a successful leading man, and, when still interested and available, I never lacked for female company.
But, personally, as I relentlessly repeat, beauty, whether male or female, is in the heart, reflected through the eyes and given meaning through words.
The rest is just costume. :-)

[Sc0rp10N]

I've been told I should have been a model. A male model. Somewhat chiseled good looks, somewhat well built, proportionate, tall, dark and handsome, etc. I'm kinda shy about that stuff. As far as BEING a hot guy... I don't know, do hobbies like welding, renovating, building decks, building playhouses for kids, being an artist painting artwork, being a musician, photographer and art film maker count? I consider myself slightly above average, but women have told me I am too humble. I prefer to keep this attitude, it means instead expecting attention, I am surprised with it. - Oh yeah, also an avid 4x4 enthusiast and built my own rock crawler rig, including totally custom home built suspension, did all the work myself and LED most of the trail runs with my 4x4 club. I guess I will eventually get around to posting a boy vs girl pic in that thread. Maybe later.

[Jaylyn]

My wife answered this..... "Yes you were a hot guy" In high school 6'2", 202 lbs, size 30 waist and a 46 chest. Played football and threw the shot put and discus. Had a full head of hair and always told my blue eyes just grabs a girl and won't let them go....
Now the only time I'm a hottie is after I mow the grass. I was 16 then and I'm 65 in two months.im just lucky cause wife says she still thinks I'm a hottie. Now that's love....... I love her for her acceptance of me and because she is a smoking hot lady herself.

[Sara Jessica]

First of all, Isha...what a cute picture thread. This is the first time I have come across it, thanks for sharing in the context of this thread.

Now back to our regular programing...

I've been accused of being a decent looking guy so my reasons for preferring to present as a female have zero to do with any so-called ugly dude syndrome. Instead, this is engrained in my being and much to the chagrin of those who know me, I have taken steps to bury the guy within.

Take my several-year stint with long hair. In guy mode, I look like crap with my hair pulled back. Even worse when it hangs down. In guy mode, I look my best with very short hair. Now with my in-between hair, it's kind of a hipster look in guy mode when I am able to keep it under control. It's even kind of cute that way but really, who am I kidding? A mid-40-something "businessman" trying to look like a 24 year old hipster???

I have also sabotaged my guy presentation by obliterating body hair, refusing any sort of working out or heavy lifting (lest we increase bulk in our arms). I am relishing some of the softness that comes with aging except for my tummy of course. None of these things makes me remotely close to being my best as the guy my wife thinks she married.

Were it not for love, I'd think that I am a woman's worst nightmare come true. I desperately wish for normal, be it on one side of the gender fence or the other. I know it will never happen.

[Confucius]

Hi Tink,
About "crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome"

My personality is to be reserve, introvert, contemplative, self-conscious, and analytical. I don't think the thought of whether or not I am "hot" has ever entered my mind. I can say without question that I am better looking as a male than as a female. As a female I look... odd.

I have never heard of the "ugly male syndrome" so I don't put any stock in it. However I have come across many cross-dressers who say that as a child they were introverts, with a low self-esteem, even an inferiority complex. They were often bullied as small children. Boys naturally play rough to determine dominance and establish a pecking order. Most boys want to be the alpha male, and most girls are attracted to the alpha males. In the early years of his life, the average cross-dressing male relinquished any aspirations of being the alpha male. He saw girls as having a better deal in life. Girls were not expected to be better than everyone else in sports, to win at all costs, to never give up, never to cry, to fight back at the bully, and get beaten in the process. Girls were valued simply for their appearances. In this way I can agree with the "masculine failure" concept. However it must be understood that this (masculine failure) is established in the first 3-4 years of life, and as adults most of us have overcome these early challenges, but our brains are still hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female side. In our first few years of life our brain are establishing neural connects at a tremendous speed - 700 neural connections per second! All we needed was a trigger to get our brain to release the neurotransmitters.

[Jenniferathome]

Tinkerbell, I think it's harder for guys to judge their appearance than women. We simply have less pressure about our look than women. I spend only seconds a day looking at my face in the mirror. My wife spends minutes and me as well when I put on make up. The difference is profound. I KNOW I am not unattractive but it's just too hard to objectively state I am "good looking," let alone "hot."

So I have only anecdotal evidence if I am good looking. My wife says so, so that's nice. I've always had attractive girl friends growing up so I must be good looking enough to attract them. I think you recall my guy picture.

As as for the ugly guy syndrome you mention, an ugly guy makes an uglier woman. My wife would agree on that. The more attractive the man, the better looking the transformed female. Hence my wife says I make a good looking woman, FOR A CROSS DRESSER.

In 99% or more of my life I am a guy. I feel comfortable as a guy, I don't play a role, I AM a guy. I'm handy with tools, I am very physically active, I kill spiders, open jars, mow the lawn, fix things and build things. I am the quintessence of a guy. But most important, I am a good husband and an even better father. I am proud to be all of that.

I can' buy into the the "ugly man" syndrome as a reason to cross dress. There have to be easier alternatives. No, I fall back to the double helix and somewhere on that chain is the code for cross dressing. It is in our DNA

[CrossJess]

Not one for giving self praise but I just think I'm average looking, look after my body well and have good skin, teeth and a full head of hair. I do get chatted up in my work place and my bf openly says out loud that I'm a super cutie and always look very sha*able with my cheeky smile so lol I'm sticking with that as being cool, my bf on the other hand is proper gorgeous though 6ft muscle man that makes me look like a little girl, I always go weak at the knees when he looks at me with those eyes!! yummy!

[Secret Drawer]

While I don't disagree that it is somewhat subjective, we all know there is an actual social "scale" of sorts. In so far as the big picture socially goes, I have been chased by many women over the years while being cursed with the full "nerd pack" including social cluelessness and the "you really think I am good looking?" surprise every time. That is the long answer. The short answer is that I have gotten by pretty good without the need to play the alpha male, which sort of pissed off more than a few of them! I was crossdressing before any of this "looks" concept ever came into my mind anyway. The biggest problem is that the more attractive you are the more social pressures paint you into a corner. The very idea that I would crossdress becomes something like a waste of valuable real estate or something!

[mykell]

Vickie, I don't think anyone is 'ehh'. I think self perception makes us think this, but we're ALL attractive to someone if we would only let them see us as we want to be seen.[/QUOTE]

a lot easier said than done, whether "hot" one way or the other, most don't accept this.....


Well, Tink, how does one answer such a question ....
beauty, whether male or female, is in the heart, reflected through the eyes and given meaning through words.
The rest is just costume. :-)

so were basically just performers, portrayers......

so having found this place to be able to share ourselves i think we have debunked those other sites findings of who we really are.....
so stay away of those places tink, the answers to your questions are right here and were pretty honest about ourselves, we joined and accepted,
that was the start of our honesty of this journey for lots of folks here....

[PaulaQ]

I always thought of myself as just hideously ugly. I never thought I was good looking as a man. Many disagreed with that, but I could never see it. I hated myself though, so I wasn't a good judge.

(pic removed)

I dunno, what do you think?

edit: leaving the pic out. I hated myself as a guy. Katey888 had it right to delete it.

[Sc0rp10N]

Just another quick reply- someone mentioned the boy vs girl pic thread saying that a better looking guy makes a better looking girl, and maybe I'm biased, being attracted to women, but I would say OVER half of the pic posts in that thread, the female versions look more attractive than the male versions. Just my 2 cents...

[Rachael Leigh]

I know for me I've always had self esteem issues and it does go to my looks somewhat. I have a few ideas why that is but won't go into it here.
I do know when I get the makeup and all looking just right Im amazed at how nice I do look, not beautiful by any means but it's a very pleasant look.

[Brittany CD]

are there any hot guys here who can totally refute this nonsense that it's an ugly guy's pastime??

Well, women tell me I'm good looking, so yes, I can refute this simply by me being a crossdresser

[Dianne S]

I think I'm an average guy... some nice-looking aspects and some not that great.

When I'm dressed as a woman, my body shape is pretty good but my face is not very feminine.

[Cheryl T]

Hot? Maybe not, but certainly warmer than most in my time.
And all this began long before I even knew what Hot was, for either me or the girls I would eventually pursue, so the 2 are totally unrelated.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell- o Tinkerbell,
So many of us have stated that this interest started at the age of 6 or 7, myself included, at that age there is not much chance of me seeing myself as an ugly guy.
Through my school years I had plenty of girls interested in me, Oh yeah I had "game" back then. Still had CD thoughts that would come and go.
With an SO today the "game" has changed, but I wouldn't consider myself an ugly guy.
So for me there is something else driving my CD desires, what it is?, no idea, doesn't matter. It's clear to me that it's not ever going away.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[ReineD]

My SO is very attractive as a male, although he doesn't think so, even though like others here he has learned over time that women do find him attractive. But this is not something that he sees in himself. He does not have mirrors in his home except in the room where she gets dressed, for this very reason.

I've often wondered if (some, many?) CDers might suffer from something akin to body dysmorphia in guy mode, and perhaps a little reverse body dysmorphia in girl mode. :p It does seem as if CDers don't see their reflections the same way as others see them, in either mode. I'm not surprised that most will say the feminine image of themselves and other CDers is better than the masculine. And I've noticed the same thing you have, Tink ... in the Picture Gallery, they seem to pay attention to angle and pose with perhaps a smile to improve their appearance in girl mode, while they don't seem to try at all with their guy mode pics.

Because I'm a girl who finds guys and not other girls attractive, I have to say that in most cases I do think they look more attractive in guy mode than in girl mode even though many members here know how to present well in girl mode.

[PaulaQ]

Interestingly enough Reine, the dislike of her male image in mirrors that your SO experiences is one of the CLASSIC symptoms of gender dysphoria.

[Tracii G]

Tink I never thought I was handsome growing up but the girls I grew up around said I was cute in a different way.Being a kid/teen/young adult that confused me a lot.
I had my share of GF's in high school and college.They seemed to think I was attractive enough I guess.
I'm the least vain person I know so to answer are you hot? I have no idea.
I have posted in the boy/girl thread many times you be the judge.

[JamieG]

I've never felt particularly hot. I was a 105lb weakling in high school and college, and only really started putting on weight after I got married. I'm now at a healthy 145lbs on my 5'10" frame. Few girls in my lifetime have told me I'm attractive, although I have had a number say that I had "beautiful eyes." I still have a boyish face, despite being in my 40s. My wife has always considered me attractive, but now that I've taken up ballet, she's find me even more so: she says it has done wonders for my legs, rear, and posture. As far as I'm concerned, her's is the only opinion that matters. However, I think by traditional societal measures of attractiveness, that I am more attractive en femme, at least if I go all out with makeup, etc.

[Judith96a]

I've never thought of myself as "hot" and (until I met my wife-to-be at 30+) never had much luck attracting girls. My wife tells me that I'm her big handsome hubby (that's nice to know but then I do keep teasing her about needing new glasses) and on a few occasions that I've been for a makeover I've been told "you're a good looking fella so you'll look good as a girl"! Through one circumstance and another I'm reconnecting with some of the girls that I knew at school / uni and hearing indirectly that I was apparently something of a hunk back then (their word not mine!). So quite why I had such trouble attracting girls I really don't know. Probably too many rough edges back then!
Anyway, what impact had/has all of that on my cross dressing? I'm not sure. I suspect that the lack of any female companionship probably encouraged my cross dressing to a degree. But I've never had the sense of being ugly in boy mode or anything more than perhaps moderately good looking in girl mode.
Lots of words but no conclusions!

P.S. this might give you a giggle. Was told today by co-worker that I have a younger double in another unit within our department. Wonder if he cross dresses too? Now that would be interesting!

[UNDERDRESSER]

Although I didn't realise it til much later, I was 'hot'. (I was useless at picking up on the signals from girls... Oh how many opportunities I missed!!!!).
Oh! how I identify with that comment!
My personality is to be reserve, introvert, contemplative, self-conscious, and analytical. I don't think the thought of whether or not I am "hot" has ever entered my mind. I can say without question that I am better looking as a male than as a female. As a female I look... odd.

I have never heard of the "ugly male syndrome" so I don't put any stock in it. However I have come across many cross-dressers who say that as a child they were introverts, with a low self-esteem, even an inferiority complex. They were often bullied as small children. Boys naturally play rough to determine dominance and establish a pecking order. Most boys want to be the alpha male, and most girls are attracted to the alpha males. In the early years of his life, the average cross-dressing male relinquished any aspirations of being the alpha male. He saw girls as having a better deal in life. Girls were not expected to be better than everyone else in sports, to win at all costs, to never give up, never to cry, to fight back at the bully, and get beaten in the process. Girls were valued simply for their appearances. In this way I can agree with the "masculine failure" concept. There is possibly something there that I identify with as well. I'm not sure I agree with crossdressing being seen as "contact with a girl" at least, not as a primary causation. I still think that some of it comes from the fact that men "Aren't supposed to dress to show off their bodies" so, they become girls when they want to do that.
My SO is very attractive as a male, although he doesn't think so, even though like others here he has learned over time that women do find him attractive. But this is not something that he sees in himself. He does not have mirrors in his home except in the room where she gets dressed, for this very reason.

I've often wondered if (some, many?) CDers might suffer from something akin to body dysmorphia in guy mode, and perhaps a little reverse body dysmorphia in girl mode. :p It does seem as if CDers don't see their reflections the same way as others see them, in either mode. I'm not surprised that most will say the feminine image of themselves and other CDers is better than the masculine. And I've noticed the same thing you have, Tink ... in the Picture Gallery, they seem to pay attention to angle and pose with perhaps a smile to improve their appearance in girl mode, while they don't seem to try at all with their guy mode pics.

Because I'm a girl who finds guys and not other girls attractive, I have to say that in most cases I do think they look more attractive in guy mode than in girl mode even though many members here know how to present well in girl mode.Again, more insightful comments from Reine. I didn't used to think of myself as attractive, though I realise that, these days at least, I am.

I've heard many women say that the number one attractive feature in a man is confidence. Realising that one has an interest, a compulsion, that nobody else seems to have (that you know about anyway) does NOT help with ones confidence. So maybe there's another route where this thread could have some meaning.

Nice thread Tinkerbell. I don't think you should feel inferior in any way because of who you're dating. I feel that a lot of us on here are better than "regular" guys, because at the very least, we are more empathic. People without empathy really don't connect well with others.

[tryingtoblossom]

I have never really looked at myself as being ugly or hot as a male and though I do struggle and will until I am ready to tell my SO about what I like doing...Having said that I have always pondered why people look down upon or think negatively towards our choice of way of life...I mean there are people in the world with special needs, there are drug addicts, you have your cleptomaniacs, you have your kinky people and any other form of life...Yet those kind of people can get their family support to a degree until the family decides they cannot do anymore and give up...I cannot give a reason why I am a CD other than the fact it makes me feel good and yes I am scared of telling people as a few weeks ago I was making Victoria feel alive and the people I live with came home early from their day out and I had nowhere to go (hide) So I was seen...That friend has since hardly talked to me which then made me think...I am still the same person on the inside regardless of how I am on the outside and if the one person I expected to understand cannot...or chose not to want to deal or accept...then how do I tell someone who I just started a relationship with...we all have our demons and skeletons...Don't rush to quickly to cast aspertions or point the finger...Look at your H through his eyes and walk in their shoes and see the world from their eyes not your own...you will be amazed how much more you may understand if you truly step outside your own self.

Victoria

[Athena_]

Tinkerbell,

Interesting Questions. I would guess that my previous girlfriends and current wife would most likely agree that I was a good looking guy. I certainly was fit in my teens with sports and in my early 20's with the military. I certainly never gave my own looks much of a thought, except when crossdressing. I always thought that my connections with women were deeper than just looks. Looks certainly get people interested, but personality is what keeps then interested. I guess I always assumed that women were less about how a guy looks and more about how the guy treats and respects them.

I think tonight I will ask my wife if I am hot! She may very well ask me if I have a fever, or tell me to turn on the AC! :heehee:

[Beverley Sims]

Apparently I was desirable, but always backward in coming forward. :)

[Lorileah]

I would not believe anything in the interwebs. If the answer was a masculine failure, I think we all know that a "cure" would have been instituted years ago226502

[DonnaT]

Many of us were just kids when we started CDing. Questions of hotness (masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome) were not the cause of our dressing.

And since we were just kids when we started, then our SO's should have no reason to 'feel defective', because our reason for dressing in no way reflects upon our SO's attractiveness or womanliness (or what ever term one wants to use).

Would other women would have chosen better? If you were happy with your husband when you married, how could you have chosen better?

Many women considered Charlie Sheen to be hot, but I bet his Ex wishes she had chosen differently, for better or worse.

[lovetobedani]

I've been told from time to time that I was either cute or attractive. I never really thought that was especially good looking. When I look in the mirror I don't see what some others do. It goes back to that old saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

[Kelley]

Handsome and masculine yes, pretty no. I love pretty.

Kelley

[Ressie]

Whatever happened to the cool guys? LOL - I remember a girl saying I was a fox about 40 years ago :D

[Andrea Renea]

My old girlfriends and my wife have told me I'm hot! lol. They were biased, I don't really think so though.

[Nadine Spirit]

My photos are somewhere on this page

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189466-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-V/page38

So judgement from Tinkerbell is....??

I have never thought I was hot, in either mode. But I don't thing I am an ugo either though. My wife thinks I am a hotty in both modes. (Gosh she is nice to me.)

[sexycindy]

I wouldn't exactly describe myself as "hot", but I like to think I am rather good looking as I often get hit on by girls when I'm out and about and people tend to say I'm attractive. But when I dress, I often see myself and think I look too manly so when I'm a woman I'm the opposite as I think I'm ugly but I do it as I see myself as both male and female. Although that being said I did look in the mirror dressed the other day and thought "I look nice today".

[shawnsheila]

One of these days I'll post a boy / girl pic and you can see for yourself :)

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Yes per my wife who it's most important that I am viewed as hot, attractive, and unfortunately very masculine, and a guy. Plus the women who hit on me (of course which only happened after marriage and never before, not that it matters now).

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Yes per my wife who it's most important that I am viewed as hot, attractive, and unfortunately very masculine, and a guy. Plus the women who hit on me (of course which only happened after marriage and never before, not that it matters now).

Masculine is good, for the record. I prefer it as I'm sure does your wife! :)

That said, I am reassured that this is a normal cross section of men, and actually I think you all might be hotter than the average cross section! Maybe there's something to what you said Jennifer - an attractive man will likely make an attractive woman. I wonder if this works the other way??

Nadine, I couldn't find your photos on ANY page! I was very disappointed, but I did see a few others and yes, there are hotties in our midst, and some of the transformations are difficult to believe. I wouldn't recognise most of you if I bumped into you in the grocery aisle. Makes me seriously wonder how many crossdressers I've met in my daily travels yet would never know as you're all so good at presenting in either gender.

Next time I see mention of masculine failure, I'm going to set them straight!!

[krissygurl]

I would like to think I'm attractive in any form. I'm slim athletic and, have always been vain and taken care of myself, I have good self esteem but on the lower side of self confidence. When I look in the mirror though, I always am "irritated" by my more masculine features, even when I'm im extra slim and in training mode. I'm still not sure how I look completely as a woman, but I know for me I have never felt the need to dress because I don't think I'm not an attractive guy. Its because I feel like I would love to see an attractive woman looking back. It's more of how I visualize myself or feel myself wanting to be.

[Christen]

Don't think I can claim Hot, but I'll say I'm attractive. I'm short, small statured (I'm 5'7" - world average apparently), decent looking, good physique (for my age), usually well groomed.
Oh, and I'm definitely not better looking as a women. And you ain't defective. Women have heaps of pressure placed on them by society about appearance, I can't imagine how that must feel and affect self perception.

Christen x

[MeganDay]

I was (and still am) fairly average looking. Was in better shape when I was in the service, slimmer definitely. Fortunately, my wife finds intelligence very attractive, so what I lack in "hotness" I make up in smartness ;)

Megan

[Tami Monroe]

I am old I am pretty good looking. I don't feel I am, but hey, I am not the deciding factor.

[StacyLynn]

I'm not very attractive as a man, if at all really. But it's not the reason I crossdress.

[AmyGaleRT]

Well, my fiancee would say I'm a hot guy. :) I don't think I'd crack any mirrors in male mode, I just look like a big ol' geek. The ponytail I keep my hair in in male mode isn't too unusual for geek types or metalheads, and having long hair is actually a plus for my fiancee. I wear 3mm white gold ball studs in my ears, which are fairly inconspicuous, as are my somewhat-more-hairless-than-usual arms. My smooth legs and painted toenails are usually hidden.

I've posted a couple of "boy vs. girl" pictures, so you can look for those. And Hana, who does my hair, was startled to see a picture of me in male mode (with shorter hair) when Sabrina showed it to her; she didn't recognize it as the same person at first.

- Amy

[Adriana Moretti]

cute.....maybe....... thats about it.....Paula you saw my guy pic...whattayathink......??? same italian right? just no facial hair..and more makeup LOL

[PaulaQ]

cute.....maybe....... thats about it.....Paula you saw my guy pic...whattayathink......??? same italian right? just no facial hair..and more makeup LOL

I thought you were pretty hot, hon - I'd go out with the guy mode version of you in a New York minute. ;) The girl mode version of you is so pretty though Adriana. It'd kind of be a no lose proposition, however you present.

[TeresaCD]

Mmm, interesting question.
For years, I hated being lean (at 25 you could still see my ribs, 72kg), all I wanted was to have a big chest and be muscly.
For a long time I hated being different, wanted to fit the stereotype more.
Others saw me as attractive, a good catch. Including my SO
20 years on, 18 months ago, I was 86 kg, shaved head and didn't really like myself very much.
Now, I like myself a whole lot more, and am much more at ease with my body.
Ironically, now I am too skinny as a guy (quote from my mum and my SO & almost everyone I know)
But as Teresa, look quite well proportioned. People often say I present very well (Oh that we could see ourselves as others see us)
And I'm still a good catch (so I'm told :) )
In guy mode, I look after myself and my appearance a whole lot more, too :)

[Carroll]

I am almost 50, overweight, and balding...hot? not!

[Sonya]

I clearly remember the puzzled face of my ex wife when she said "you are good looking man, I don't understand why you have to cross dress"

[dana digs sweaters]

It's a matter of perspective

[DonnaT]

My photos are somewhere on this page

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189466-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-V/page38


Try http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189466-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-V&p=3485888&highlight=#post3485888

[ArleneRaquel]

As a male there is no way I would be considered hot, in female mode I think I'm goreous, but my eyesight is terrible.

[typhoidmary]

I think I'd be a solid 7/10 as a guy, in the eyes of a woman who prefers skinny to muscular or chunky at least.

[~Joanne~]

crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome. I personally feel insulted on behalf of my H and everyone here when I read this (often!)

To me, this saying holds about as much water as the assumption that every CD is gay. I would think that an ugly guy would make just as ugly of a woman. Personally, I don't think I am a ugly guy at all. I surly don't dress because I think I am ugly that's for sure. My SO agrees to the same statement ( I just asked her ;) ). I don't know where you read these things but it doesn't sound like they know much about us to be honest.

[Tina_gm]

I know I do not post any pics. So, you will just have to go with what I say. Hot, no. For a man of my age, fit, yes. I am not a large muscular man. about 5'9" 160ish, I have been at that weight for ever now. I do eat well and am active. I have never been and my body has always rejected the big muscular thing. I tried to become big once, and my body refused. I was definitely stronger, I did add on some muscle, but it was more of a definition and cut thing than bulk. I am small boned, quite so actually. I am blessed with proportion though for the most part, when I do work out and get in really good shape, I have naturally good proportion. Facially, again, hot would be too strong of a word. I have a kind of face that is very average, but with the right expressions or looks can make me attractive. I have been told I have nice eyes.

My male appearance has nothing to do with a reason for CDing. I am neither happy nor ashamed of my appearance. I am blessed with good genes as far as weight and proportion. Oh, and I am blessed with the metabolism of a teenager.

[Allison Chaynes]

Before Uncle Sam asked me to do his dirty work and I developed some medical conditions and got fat, yes I was what you might call hot, based on the number of attractive women who were after me. Now, maybe not as much, if I could drop about 100 pounds, probably. I still have women flirting with me consistently so I'm gonna say I'm still a 6.

[sherri]

I'm not a hot guy but I am nice looking, definitely a better looking guy than I am a gurl. That doesn't change anything though, I'm incurably gurly.

[Brandi Lesalle]

Tink please do start a weekly thought provoking question section that would be great! I think it really comes down to what someone may think is hot. I just washed off tonights makeup, not very skilled at it, and thought yes I am a better looking man than I am a woman. Basically I am the complete opposite of metrosexual so if that is hot then maybe I am. My wife and her friends think I am

[sometimes_miss]

crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome.
That might contribute to it at some point, but is probably not the initial cause. Guys who are insecure about their presentation usually overcompensate in more masculine ways, not feminine ones.

but when I think of my H's dressing I'm left feeling defective somehow, like other women would have chosen better.
And there it is. The automatic, subconscious assumption that a guy who is in any way less than 100% masculine is damaged goods. It's what kills off any possibility of sexual attraction that a woman might have for us. Don't feel bad, it's not something you get to choose; evolutionary genetic predispositions towards being attracted to alpha male traits is what's enabled your ancestors to choose males who would be most likely to have offspring that would survive.

[khaleesie]

crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome

That is such a bunch of crap and whoever came up with that has no idea what they're talking about. I've been a CD all my life (like most) and my normal male persona, I've never had any trouble at all with finding women. My wife has been a bit insecure over this since we got together because in my 20s and 30s, women chased me. Even now in my 40s, based on discussions with women I know, I still wouldn't have a problem getting women, attractive women. I'm a biker that has been in MCs, so my mainstream persona is still on the fringe of mainstream. Let me leave it at that......

[sandra-leigh]

When I was about 21, one of my sister's friends (in Ottawa) said that I was a "cutesy". That was it for years.

When I was about 30, two women in Stockholm thought that I was good looking; one told the other that if the second didn't want me, that she would take me.

That was it for a few decades. Other than one of my friends consoling me by saying that I wasn't bad looking.

Now... on one dating site, people have rated my pictures as an average of 5.1 out of 10. My experience, relating scores to pictures there, is that to get lower than that you have to be either strikingly obese or your picture has to be so badly taken that you are visibly out of focus. 5.1 is the sort of score that people give to the plain women who are scowling or frowning in their pictures. The plain women who have neutral expressions usually rate at least 6. My pictures are in focus and smiles. So I rate below "plain". That's averaging; I don't get to see the individual scores for the people who rated me 2's or 3's.

On the other hand, a number of men (and a few women) have complimented my smile. More than one has called me "beautiful". It's kind of "useful" to me when a guy calls me beautiful there: it signals me that chances are 2 out of 3 that he is a romance scammer. (Wish I were kidding.)

[Avrial]

Never considered myself hot... not the masculine type at all. I hear "cute" from both guys and girls though, and am happy to hear it from anyone. A girl asked me to dance last night (60's soul night), so I can't be that bad.

[Kate T]

I must admit that I am reasonably constantly astounded as to why my beautiful wife continues to manage to convince me she finds me physically attractive.

I certainly do not see myself as unattractive. Then again, as I have said previously here, I do have a ridiculous amount of self confidence generally so it is entirely possible I'm as ugly as an iron pot but just won't believe it :p.

I look good enough in male mode photos. I don't get mountains of compliments from women but I'm not after them and my body language would tell most women that I am not really interested in them physically, no offence to them, it's just I'm already taken so to speak.

I do personally think though that I look younger when in girl mode but doesn't everyone look younger with make up on?

[sarahcsc]

Hi Tinkerbell,

I don't consider my man side "hot" but maybe... "kind", "gentle", "intelligent"... sort of... You can judge by looking at my man to woman post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189466-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-V&p=3311796&highlight=#post3311796) but crossdressing was definitely never an "ugly guy pastime". Lol. I've began crossdressing at the age of 7 before I have any concrete or tangible concept of what pretty or ugly means. I just found it incredibly soothing to be a girl for some reason (not to mention the sexual arousal). Again, thank you for being honest about your feelings. :)

-Sarah

[MssHyde]

blessed or cursed?

I'm 5-8" tall (or used to be) when younger I had a 38" chest when puffed up, rippled stomach, 26 inch waist and 32 inch hips.
I could do 55 one arm pushups dead lift 100 pounds off the floor and put over my head with using one arm (fully extended above my head)

I could climb ropes with just my arms.

also I'd do one armed chin ups. (the guy's I hung with became seals, thats not what I wanted)
I weighed 127 pounds at that time. I weighed 147 for most of my life..

my arms are too big for a woman.. I have to cover them...

now I'm about 175 with a 42 inch chest, not puffed up.. I wish I was tiny.. I'm not a bad looking guy but women still check me out...

the things I was proud of as a guy are counter productive as a woman.. I'd love to be slender.. (I'm small framed, but not small to my liking)

[Aeslyn]

I am ugly by my own standards as well as that of many others. Yet this has not given me any problems getting women to be attracted to me (I often have women coming on to me). And my of the females I have been with our, at least in my own opinion, quite hot (one looks identical to Sarah Michelle Gellar, just to give an example). So despite being ugly I haven't had any "masculine failure".
Another response to your question which would disprove the "ugly man's pastime" is that for many crossdressing begins before we even have such constructed ideals of attractiveness.
:)

[Carrie R]

I've had a few women tell me I'm handsome, but they already have an SO. I never seem to run into single women to know for sure. One thing I do know, if I meet a woman at work for the first time, they seem to mention a SO fairly quick as if to say, "Don't even think about it, Buster." Maybe that's because I'm not so hot?

[Milou]

I don't percieve myself as handsome, but others do. In puberty I thought I was one of the most ugliest guy in the world and I still think I'm not attractive. Oh well, I have more issues to work on.

[Jessicajane]

......???? lololol... I have never heard such tosh that "ugly" guys cross dress because of their looks..."Tinkerbell my dear" not sure what web page has indicated this but they are someway off the mark...!!

I am sure there are great looking blokes and not so great looking blokes that cross dress...but I am almost certain that it is not a reason for them doing the cross dressing...!!

As for looking better as a Tgirl than an ugly man...I'm not sure that makeup can offset the thickset features of a very prominent and masculine face...my experience is that the more delicate and pretty male faces often reflect in a better look when feminized as a woman.

I don't consider myself great looking ..in fact probably very mister average as a Guy, regardless I make every effort I can when presenting as a woman...the only difference looks have in the cross dressing equation to me is wether a person goes public as much....and that is down to an individual self confidence....

If your guy is hot...its why you are with him, and not in any way a reason why he should or should not cross dress....
p.s my before and after picks are on the photo page under before and after thread...look through the vast array on there and make your own mind up..

[Milou]

......???? lololol... I have never heard such tosh that "ugly" guys cross dress because of their looks..."Tinkerbell my dear" not sure what web page has indicated this but they are someway off the mark...!!

I am sure there are great looking blokes and not so great looking blokes that cross dress...but I am almost certain that it is not a reason for them doing the cross dressing...!!


Why? No one really knows why we crossdress and I'm sure everyone has their own reasons. It could be that you feel unwanted, feel unloved and hate the way you look and that you love the feminine aesthetics. Not implying that I know the answers, but I don't disqualify anything.

[WhisperTV]

I've had a few women tell me I'm handsome, but they already have an SO. I never seem to run into single women to know for sure. One thing I do know, if I meet a woman at work for the first time, they seem to mention a SO fairly quick as if to say, "Don't even think about it, Buster." Maybe that's because I'm not so hot?
I think it's because a woman can spot a single guy a mile away.

And if your avatar is really you, you're hot. Not hitting on you, just sayin'.

[Carrie R]

It's me, as others on the forum who've seen me will attest to. Carrie doesn't seem to attract the ladies however. :)
Thanks though!

[Simone_40]

My ex-wife & all the women I've dated were always telling me I was "Gorgeous"; "So Good Looking" & "Hot". Didn't particularly care for "Cute", tho'. That's reserved for puppies; bunnies; Koala Bears and baby Armadillos. :p
I am 5 11.5" tall & have a BMI of 21.3. Keeping fit is a priority, I don't want to shop in the "Plus size" sections.:heehee:

[MayaMe]

I would say I'm not ugly or hot, more like not masculine and average. My lack of a dating history and lack of interest from women seam to confirm that. I don't think this caused my dressing. I think it's hard to tell why and most likely there is no one cause.

[Melody1]

I get hit on by men and women, have male modeled for many an undergrad art student, and always loved wearing a skirt. No validity to that arguement at all

[Badtranny]

I wasn't just good looking, I was also very popular with the ladies. In fact, it was how I gained the respect of the other guys. I wasn't a fighter, or a natural athlete but I was chatty and cute so the chicks dug me and my friends were always amazed at my ability to pull the hottest girls anywhere we went.

It eventually started to **** with my head though because I was a closet queen (fag not a CD) and the double life finally got to me in my late 30's. I was beginning to creep myself out so I finally had to face the truth, only to find out that truth went much deeper than I wanted to go.

[JamieOH]

I will let you judge
Man mode
226882

Not man mode
226883

[Helen Grandeis]

Hi Tinkerbell,

I don't consider my man side "hot" but maybe... "kind", "gentle", "intelligent"... sort of... You can judge by looking at my man to woman post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189466-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-V&p=3311796&highlight=#post3311796) but crossdressing was definitely never an "ugly guy pastime". Lol. I've began crossdressing at the age of 7 before I have any concrete or tangible concept of what pretty or ugly means. I just found it incredibly soothing to be a girl for some reason (not to mention the sexual arousal). Again, thank you for being honest about your feelings. :)

-Sarah

You accurately describe your male presentation; however, it is also a face that someone could love very much. Your female presentation is very attractive as you have heard from all of us. It's a shame that the risk to the male existence (which we need to sustain our livelihoods) is so real. Otherwise we could reveal on nearly the first date so that trust was never an issue. I bet we might be luckier than we would otherwise think.

[JamieOH]

Btw. As a test i created a profile on zoosk as a man looking for women. In the about Me i said I'm transgender and looking for someone who likes shoes and shopping as much as i do. All pics are me en femme. And i got a lot of interest. I mean A LOT. SO don't be afraid to be open.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

JamieOH, you remind me of Johnny Depp! So yep, hot :)

And thanks everyone. I won't mention the sites that have mentioned this 'ugly guy' idea, but I'll add that some suggested this identity came about during puberty before the man became a man, so to speak, and they felt shy and unattractive for whatever reason. (though, doesn't everyone feel this way during puberty?!?). Thing is, many here hint that they're not sure if they're a hot guy or not, yet the girls are giving you second glances and TELLING you you're hot. Believe me, we don't say this to just any guy. I'm thinking you're a hotter bunch than you realise!!

I'm still stunned at the transformations. I might not like my H's crossdressing, but I can't deny the talent that lies behind it :)

[mariehart]

I considered myself ugly from a very young age, despite frequent compliments from adults. Add a bit of acne and the teenage years were disastrous. I hated seeing myself in the mirror and there are few photos of me during that time. I was also skinny and there was a notable lack of interest from girls. So you could argue in favour of the 'failed man' syndrome.

But I wasn't ugly, actually I was good looking in a boyish or even slightly feminine way. This is obvious from a number of photos which I can now look at more dispassionately. One of my favourites is of me in uniform, on guard duty, (bad I know, taking photos inside the armoury! Should have been court martialled), carrying my rifle, body armour the lot. Good looking but not even the slightest bit masculine. Other photos back this up. There's a group photo of all the guys in my unit, all quite young but very male and then there's me looking very effete.

In truth I was and probably still am good looking but not a hot guy ever. I don't want to be anyway. I'm proud of my slightly feminine shape, small hands and feet, good legs and curves where men shouldn't have any. I just wish I appreciated those thing more when I was thinner and cuter!

Of course, all became clearer when I accepted I was TS. Body dysmorphia, no gender dysmorphia.

[September]

Hey, Tink! I haven't read the same information that you have, but my SO is an extremely good-looking man. He's also an incredibly beautiful woman. I'm a super lucky girl. ;P

[Ciara09]

I'm told I'm "good looking" by some women but I don't feel attractive as a man. I'm short and skinny and I don't think women like that. I also am fair skinned and passive... Pretty well the opposite of the ideal tall dark and handsome and confident man.

I always feel attractive when I crossdress though I haven't in along time. It was always kind of frustrating to see myself fitting into women's clothes so well but not be able to show anyone. I also tended to feel liberated and a bit more confident in women's clothes but it's hard to tell cuz I was always nervous about getting caught.

I've never identified as trans, I do feel like I am male and I never really have been confused about that. I just feel like a male with a female personality and crossdressing is maybe just an expression of that... Which why I feel much more attractive wearing women's clothes, I think it suits my personality and sexuality better.

Dressed in drab I feel like I'm misrepresenting myself somewhat and anyone attracted to me in drab will be disappointed. Whereas em femme because I think the clothes, hair, accessories symbolize submissiveness on some level, I feel someone attracted to me en femme would be liking me as I really am on the inside.

[Alaina R]

I'm over 60 now so maybe not so hot but I feel confident that I fell into the quite attractive category most of my life. My wife would tell you that I'm still good looking but she is not exactly unbiased. I cannot imagine that CDing has much anything to do with whether a guy is good looking or not, if for no other reason than it usually begins during or before puberty. CDing though can affect your sense of self and that could make a person feel that they are unattractive.
BTW, since you love everything male has it ever occurred to you that CDing is pretty much exclusively a male pastime? Women may wear male clothing but women do not "crossdress" - in fact, for the most part crossdressing is totally bewildering to women. Men are sexually kinky, men are visual, men objectify - crossdressing ties into all those categories and more. It's a real male thing to do.

[sometimes_miss]

Btw. As a test i created a profile on zoosk as a man looking for women. In the about Me i said I'm transgender and looking for someone who likes shoes and shopping as much as i do. All pics are me en femme. And i got a lot of interest. I mean A LOT. SO don't be afraid to be open.

I have no doubt. There are lots of women who have gay male friends, I know several. Doesn't mean that they are sexually attracted to you.

[JamieOH]

No. These women are responding to me wanting to hook up. It surprised me.

[ReineD]

Jamie, I don't know what age group you're in, but if you are middle aged (like me), I can tell you there is a dearth of men out there, especially when a lot of them go for the younger women. Not to take away from your natural ability to attract partners, but this could be one reason why you had so much interest, and another could be that these GGs don't really know what you mean by "transgender". If your emphasis was on having fun shopping, they likely took it this is just a fun hobby for you?

... unless Zoosk's database Behavioral Matching Technology (I got that from their website) matches LGBTs together, in which case I'd say that the GGs would be attracted to you because you are TG.

[MaryAnn40c]

I find when I am in shape....5'11" 180lbs ...I am a hot looking guy in drab.....when I am in my lady mode I still am hot!...oh and that comes from others.

[CONSUELO]

People tell me that I am a good looking male. I have been involved with several women over my life and I have never been called ugly. Yet, I have been cross dressing since I was five years old. The idea that cross dressing is a compensation for being an ugly male does not seem to stand up to close examination. If you are an ugly male, why would female clothing make you more attractive.

[cdterri]

Most women I meet consider me quite handsome, I have been in seven long term relationships over the last 67 years and all claimed to be proud to be seen with me. BTW all were well aware of my cding.

[Ciara09]

I was on the train coming home today and I saw my reflection in the window and I felt pretty good about how I looked. Had my favorite shirt on. There was a few cute girls in there too and I actually kinda felt confident for once. I think starting to post on here and being more in tune with myself is making me feel better about myself in general.

[heather88]

Ive personally never thought i was that good looking but ive heard it from a few women that i am but i just dont believe it. regardless, the point is that the only uglyness that anyone has that matters is on the inside. there will always be things that are said about other things, like that woman got a job because of her breasts, or he got into that college because his dad went there. regardless of what the truth is people always have a reason they feel underlies everything in the world that happens. people do meth because they want to lose weight kinda stupidity with that kind of thing. What everyone should remember is that it wasnt barely 100 years ago when henry ford was alive and men still wore dresses and skirts in that time. the world as a whole has changed.