trappings of being a woman

[Lea]

I was reading Stana’s femulate blog and she had a buddy comment to her as she was trying to find the keys in her purse while wearing nails "I'm not sure that dealing with all the trappings of being a woman is worth it."

Even though some of trappings are a nuisance to me they are enjoyable in the aspect that I can personally experience what women go through and I feel a sistership to them in a shared experience. To me the ultimate compliment when dressed would to be considered just one of the girls.

What are your trappings you enjoy, do you feel they are worth?

I wear nails twice a year and enjoy the look of them. Dealing with the foundations garments and pantyhose in the bathroom is a hassle but so worth it.

The one thing I am terrible on that I need to improve on is skin care. Just the time required for nice skin I tend to skip on when not dressed.

If you have not read it I would encourage you to check out Stana’s femulate blog.

[Helen_Highwater]

Lea,
I'm with you on this; "Even though some of trappings are a nuisance to me they are enjoyable in the aspect that I can personally experience what women go through and I feel a sistership to them in a shared experience." Wearing heels is the classic example. It's these things that shape to a great extend how women interact with the world around them. Dealing with a runny nose when wearing makeup. No trumpet solo's to be found there!

[prene]

I agree some trappings are OK..
Having to shave every other day on the legs ... I mostly like unless i nick my legs.

But having a time of month, and feeling bloated I am glad I do not have, my sisters and mother had issues with that and sometimes they were out ... like having a bad cold, feeling sick.

One of the trappings is having breasts is running, I tried that and I could not run well. I love running.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I know plenty of women who can't wait to take off their bra at the end of the day. My wife is one. She told me that her breasts can be a nuisance and wearing a bra all day is the same. For me I wear one all day and like the comfort and feel. There's almost a sense of it hugging me and also validation, if you know what I mean. I think women take it for granted to live with this. But for me it's a feeling of being who I am.

Cheryl

[ashley_addams76]

I agree on the hosiery. It feels fabulous, but most women disagree and can't wait to take them off or not wear them. Heels are another example I would cite. They make my legs feel feminine and glamorous. Combine them with pantyhose/stockings and they are deadly combination worth wearing.

[carhill2mn]

While it is true that some of the 'trappings of a woman" can be a bit inconvenient at times, for me, they are a part of the overall appeal. I suspect that most men, go blithely on their way without thinking too much about how to perform seemingly easy tasks or what to wear or how will this affect their nails, is this a safe place, etc. When presenting as a woman I am much more aware of my surroundings as well as other people, my own actions and, as a result, feel more alive!

[AnneC]

I agree that some of it is bother, but I always kind of thought that the ritual of putting myself together was part of the process of changing into Anne. And that is always worth the effort.

[Dianne S]

I like some trappings: I love the sound of jingly bracelets on my arm. I love the feel and sound of earrings. I do find a bra uncomfortable after a while, but overall I enjoy wearing it.

I don't like some of the other trappings: I find high heels uncomfortable and impractical. I hate the never-ending fight against excess body hair.

[Chari]

Great input from previous posts! Have always tried to present as a "natural looking GG", and most times my attire, makeup, and presentation have been "passable". My feminine side has become a work in progress, so I continue trying to improve, and do love every moment of it, "trappings" and all. Enjoy.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

The having to wash my pantyhose/tights and some dresses by hand in the sink has got to be my biggest peeve with this whole "project" (a term I use with my possible future girlfriend, since she doesn't like crossdressing, and I don't want to upset her).

I love wearing pantyhose/tights (even in the warmer months). I also love wearing high heels, but I hate the foot pain I get. I would love to wear them at least 23 hours a day, every day! :D

[bimini1]

I couldn't do it all the time. It's just too much and requires too much energy that I don't have. It's one thing to venture into it from time to time but if I had to do it daily it would get old quick. Had I been socialized from the get-go like GG's then yes.
That being said, trying to eat with a long wig on can get you. Wanting to rub itchy eyes in mascara and liner? No-no. Leave out in the morning fully made up and looking good. It takes a helluva lot of maintenance to keep up that look all day. If you start sweating and it gets hot you better get really busy.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lea, The trappings is what it's all about !!

[WhisperTV]

Sometimes I think I'd love to wear women's clothes full time. In fact, I was thinking just that as I was reading this thread. Then I realized I'm dressed as a guy right now, for no reason.

Sometimes I get so confused. :battingeyelashes:

[Christen]

More trappings the better, I say.

Christen x

[Aprilrain]

Anyone who thinks that clothing, shoes, fake nails, cosmetics or Handbags give you some special insight into the world of woman hood has totally missed the boat.

[Dressy Girl]

I do like the trappings of heels, hosiery and jewelry. I have not gotten into the makeup thing, not sure if I will but who knows. But I particularly enjoy wearing heels, my favorite thing. The second is jewelry, especially bracelets and necklaces. I need to find bracelets that have dangly things on them. For some reason dangly bracelets are really cool to me.

Thanks,

Dressy Girl

[Mollyanne]

I don't find the "trappings" as you put it a bother at all. If I did, I wouldn't dress in order to emulate a woman. I find the "trappings" just one more thing I have to accept for me to be who I am and who I want to be.

Molly

[Paula_56]

When I see a well dressed woman, I realize the effort it takes to look that good. I really do understand more about women because of being trans.

[WhisperTV]

Anyone who thinks that clothing, shoes, fake nails, cosmetics or Handbags give you some special insight into the world of woman hood has totally missed the boat.
I don't think it's about gaining special insight. It's more about expressing the insight you already have. Granted that expression may not always come across as what a gg would do, but we're not ggs.

[Sarasometimes]

I like many of their trappings. The ones I appreciate most often; is how they wear layers of clothes (a bra under a tank or cami with a shear top over it and a light cardigan sweater); the rituals, grooming your brows, moisterizing, salon appointments for hair, nails and pampering; their attention to details, picking the right bag, earrings, bracelet and shoes along with all of their makeup choices and the steps involved.
I guess i could have just said all of the trappings, oh well.

[Krististeph]

The "trappings", to me, are a big part of the whole aspect. I've crossdressed for 40 years now, and have pretty much everything I want, save being able to dress full time for any significant length...

Nails- a full set of artificial nails takes time, but is worth it if you are going to be dressed for more than two days. Assuming you are not doing construction in between- or heavy house cleaning. Or heavy typing. But everything else, including minor sewing, is more fun with nails. Some things are not as easy, but they are more fun.

I have driven, bicycled, motorcycled, and even flown with long fingernails, and it is interesting the way you have to do things with a different grip.

Skirts are the next best thing- calf length or above the knee length are best. Longer skirts require work to keep from tripping, or if worn with petticoats or crinolines- that is another whole category of 'trappings', requires significant planning and forethought. Short skirts require attention to modesty, and for the crossdresser, makes walking and moving about feminine more important- the skirt hides less!

Heels and boots are my favorite fun thing- high heels and platforms. Worn with skirts, makes moving about especially challenging and noticable, nothing is like it in any mens clothing, that i know of at least. And perhaps one of the best things, when wearing all of this, including makeup, one gets her nails done or just adds a coat of polish to the nails, you are pretty much stuck for 30 to 60 minutes unless you want to risk messing up your nails. you have to plan potty breaks, all even phone use! (Eek!)

Now I understand Aprilrain's point that these things are not the things that make us feminine, but they are a lot of the fun of being that feminine person, at least for a lot of us. I don't agree with 'missing the whole point' at all, as not only is there no one point, but nor is there only one definition of femininity, even among genetic girls, after all.

These trappings are explorations of what it means to us to be feminine, what attracts us, what we identify with and identify as, and that makes it real as heck. When it comes to serious things, the trappings take second stage, as it happens regardless of any orientation. But they do become part of us, much as smelling the tobacco on dad's plaid shirts, or the smell of my wife's workout lycra and spandex workout clothes as we pack when going to the gym.

As long as we use products made by others, and follow trends and looks of others, these trappings become part of us. The good or bad, the useful or useless, the frivolity or endearedness these things take on, and up to us to decide, and up to us to decide how we value them.

Are press on nails good or bad? Might as well as if packaged water is good or bad. Depends on the situation, the person using it, and how it is used.

My philosophy for the day then is:

Think about your things you consider 'trappings' or 'frivolities' for a bit, and decide, do i value this and if so, in what way? Little things can mean a lot to people, the only loss is when we fail to appreciate fully all of the nice little things we have in life.

I was fortunate enough to have people help me understand this when I was young, and i've been happy in hard time and easy times, and have helped others appreciate their fortunes and what they do have. One of the happiest people I know is a relative who does arts & crafts, (and is a hell of a manicurist!)- she spends twice the time doing nails as others- does not make a lot of money because of this, but she is super well respected by her clients and gets invited to lots of seriously expensive functions- she is not wealthy but she has lots of friends and plenty who would help her if needed. She spent her life enjoying her own 'trappings'- she definitely considers them more artistic than feminine, but most crossdressers would consider her arts very much on the feminine side.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I kinda like the shaving, but having to do it so often is a pain, and it doesn't do a good enough job. I would like a cream that stopped it growing for 6 months at a time. Funny you should say about not bothering with skin care, as I do it full time, and have enjoyed the improvement in skin condition.

[Elle1944]

Funny how can I do laundry when it comes to my lingerie and blouses and skirts and so careful with some I even hand wash it, take the time to use a laundry bag for my stockings and carefully hang them up to dry. How come I can set up the ironing board and carefully iron my blouses and skirts but can't do that with my men's wear. I love doing my nails and they are mine 3/8" they are beyond the tip of my fingers. I even use warm olive oil to soften the cuticles, buff them before applying my base coat, push the cuticles back, 2 coats of polish and careful not to get any on the cuticles, and of course the top coat of sealer. I wear playtex living gloves for household chores and when mowing the lawn I wear thin leather gloves to protect them. How can I possibly be interested in anti age reducing formula's for my facial skin and moisturizing lotions for my skin or primer first before applying makeup. Because that's what women do who care what they look like, and I love it, The Woman Within........

[Cheryl T]

The look, feel and sound of certain jewelry, the scent of a wonderful perfume, the clicking of my heels on the floor, the feeling of my skirt blowing in the breeze.
What's not to love....

[Aprilrain]

I don't think it's about gaining special insight. It's more about expressing the insight you already have. Granted that expression may not always come across as what a gg would do, but we're not ggs.

My point is women are not clothes, hair, make up, jewelry, shoes, cosmetics, etc. those are the trappings of fashion not the trappings of being a woman. To suggest otherwise is to belittle and dismiss the female experience.

[NavyM2F_WAM]

The look, feel and sound of certain jewelry, the scent of a wonderful perfume, the clicking of my heels on the floor, the feeling of my skirt blowing in the breeze.
What's not to love....

Cheryl,

You hit it on the nose. I love to hear my heels clicking on the floor (used to really be a turn-on before I started crossdressing) and feeling my dress blowing in a breeze.

[DianeDeBris]

Gracias!

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

Having the trappings of being a woman is one facet of being a woman, and I certainly enjoy it,
but to me it if not the whole thing, and for me, it is important to recognize and validate this. My
womanhood comes at the end of a struggle that started 35 years ago. Even when I am in my
male mode, I feel inside that I am a woman. I did not always used to feel that way, and I am
very glad I do now.


Amy M. Jackson

[Beverley Sims]

The trappings go with the rest.
One is no good without the other.

[Zooey]

My point is women are not clothes, hair, make up, jewelry, shoes, cosmetics, etc. those are the trappings of fashion not the trappings of being a woman. To suggest otherwise is to belittle and dismiss the female experience.

This.

I've attended a few CD gatherings where people have given me crap for not wearing a dress and mega heels, occasionally suggesting that I'm a "bad crossdresser"... Umm, okay. Look, I love a good dress, and given the right occasion I am more than willing to destroy my feet for fashion (although my new Cole Haan's are making that less of an issue :)). Sometimes though, I'm busy, tired, my feet were hurting already, and I was too lazy to shave above the knee that day, so... Sorry b**ches, but it was a sharp jeans, nice top, and comfy flats night.

To the extent that the trappings of womanhood are all-too-often about being judged constantly by everyone around you, regardless of how much they ostensibly should appreciate/understand your situation, then color me beyond sympathetic.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

In my case, and this kinda goes off from my previous post,
I appreciate all of the what I would call "hardnosed" women
here, who have perhaps crossdressed for a longer time than
I have, and their message is "don't play around, this is not a
game. Make sure this is what you want to do, because once
you start, you make choices that affect you, and those around
you."

I get that, and thanks for helping me make sure my head is in
the right place. My decisions are validated by going through
such testing.

My counselor remarked that I had not shaved recently and
called it an "attention-getting behavior". Every time she
mentioned it, I kept thinking: "No, I simply didn't have time
to shave before this appointment." So I see Zooey's point
about not giving people grief because they are not made up
to the nines.

And this is coming as someone who has been given a lot of
grief because I wasn't shaved properly, or because I have
a rather large collection of panties, or for some other reason
from some of the people here. And guess what folks, I *get*
it. It is better to have some constructive criticism here, and
be able to work on it, rather than have a mistake discovered
out in the world, where people may make fun of, or attack
you over it.

I will say that those questioning whether I am serious about
this, that's a bit harsh.

My hope is that I am on the path to making some friends,
and that I have a solid base of support as I explore what it
means to be a woman, outside of the clothes. I am a woman
now, but since I have never grown up as a GG, I am exploring
what that entails.

Anyways, enough preachy rant posty stuff for now. :)


Amy M. Jackson

[Krististeph]

The trappings go with the rest.
One is no good without the other.

Good mid-western sensibility & wisdom, Beverly! :-)

[sometimes_miss]

"I'm not sure that dealing with all the trappings of being a woman is worth it."
For lots of us, it has nothing to do with being 'worth it', any more than women think about all the little routines they go through every day as worth it or not, it's simply doing what is normal for who we are. We dress in female clothes because it just feels appropriate, not for a high, a sexual charge, or a thrill. Consider: You're at a formal event. Everyone there is wearing a tux. And you're in a bathing suit. Sure, it's a male bathing suit, so it's appropriate for your gender, but you'd still feel a bit out of place, right? That's how I feel whenever I'm wearing male clothing; it just feels as if I should really be wearing something else; and I don't get that feeling when dressed as a girl.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

Sometimes_miss, I totally agree with you that there is a feel that is missing when ya have to be dressed in drab. Even right now, I am
looking forward to going out to work tomorrow because that is when I usually get completely dressed up and the feeling of not wearing
the proper clothes goes away.

Now, some of the people I have talked with have suggested perhaps branching out into more feminine, but basically masculine clothes,
such as a hoodie that uses feminine colors or something. This is something I could see myself looking into, especially because I live in
Wyoming, and winter tends to be very cold and such ...


Amy M. Jackson

[Julia B]

When completely dressed, with makeup, hair done just so, pantyhose on, wearing heels and a dress or skirt and then walking out the door knowing that I am all in so all I can do is my best girly self for the world to see because it will take an hour to get back to looking like a guy.