Celebrate that secret!!!

[Katey888]

This might not meet with everyone’s understanding (or perhaps even approval.. :p) but will hopefully find some resonance with the many amongst us who are (or have been) – like me – fully closeted, DADT, living with other family or friends who don’t know, or fundamentally just doing this thing for themselves, by themselves, for whatever reason or reasons, and have to find both the means and clandestine approach to be able to plan, prepare and then complete a makeup and dressing session… and then clear everything away without a trace of remnant mascara, stray powder , clip-on earring indentations or other forgotten accessories (because you’ve got so comfortable with them in just a couple of hours..) and just go back to ‘normal’ afterwards…:whew!:

Why ‘celebrate’? Because for those of you like me, the planning and the anticipation for a session starts days beforehand – and that all has to take place within complete secrecy too – no easy feat, and fraught with potential mishaps – so, working back from D-Day (Dressing day obviously!) my schedule goes something like this…


D -6 Pick a day (weekends for me) clear the diary and hope to sweet fate that nothing else from friends or family comes up on that day! Start exercising madly in a vain attempt to shed that recent beer and packet of tortilla chips… :eek:
D -5 Start thinking about and planning outfits… maybe even buy some fast shipping mail order stuff that might just arrive in time! - Check inventory of essential consumables: makeup and wine... :)
D -4 Physical prep – more focus on shaping and buffing nails – get a haircut! – start shaping eyebrows – make some strategic choices: blonde or dark hair..? Pink or red nail varnish..? That may influence outfits and choice of eye shadow…
D -3 Settle on toenail colours – buff and first coat toenails – cuticle oil fingernails
D -2 Final coat of polish for toes – eyebrows final plucking – legs shaved and moisturised
D -1 Fingernails get done! – face exfoliate – Close facial shave – moisturise
D Zero – The day… 2 hours makeup and getting dressed… 2 hours relaxing and a few photos… 1 hour feverishly clearing up, removing makeup, shower, scrub, scrub again – check for remnants of powder, lipstick, eyeliner…

Now be calm – remember that feeling – doesn’t that feel great? – close your eyes and just think of the next time… :daydreaming:

Of course there are benefits in being open about this – but who hasn’t also felt the pleasure of knowing something that nobody else knows… that tingle of excitement knowing that what you’ve been doing is so far off most muggles’ radar that you might just as well be the Man – or the Girl – from UNCLE (youngsters will have to Google that reference :))

I think all that’s worthy of a celebration – even if it is just for ourselves – and at least some of us can share it here! So give yourselves a secret hug in your closets everyone – because you're worth it… even if nobody but you and us know… :cheer:

Kloset Katey x

[CarlaWestin]

Well, Katey. You've explained that build up nicely. An image or a conversation sparks an idea. The waiting to intercept the mail order or just give that, "Remember? DADT!" when you get 'that' look as you scurry off with a package the wifey retrieved for you. And then it's the time slot. You're either overloaded with desires and ideas to the point of gridlock or it's just, "I just don't feel like it:sad:." The latter rarely happens. And as far as covering the tracks, I'm fortunate. All of my stuff is out in the open and there's no kids. Now, I just wish I could get past the, "I don't want to see it!" nonsense.

[Teresa]

Katey I fully understand where you're coming from but planning six days ahead is fatal surely something has got to scupper it, maybe I'm an old cynic but a realist too !!
The important thing is you get so much pleasure out of those few precious hours ! Many members in that situation wish we could have more, we're not committing a criminal act we're not harming anyone and it's making us a better person, what more could society ask ?
We really shouldn't be forced to hide away !

One question, did you remember to wipe the lipstick off the wine glass ? I'm really hoping not, it's one tiny way of coming out !

[Julie Denier]

Oh, Katey - I can identify with nearly everything you mention (except no leg shaving) ... the anticipation can be intense, the secrecy frustrating, but some of us just have to live within our circumstances and find a balance that works for us. Thanks for sharing this ;)

[kimdl93]

Every bit worthy of celebration.

[Shelly Preston]

I think most of us have been there at some point Katey

Napeleon definately went Solo and then it was an SOB

I wonder how many will get that reference

[Renee Elise]

Hi Katey! While my circumstances are a bit different as I currently have my place to myself, my dressing is a secret that I enjoy celebrating with all of you :-). When I have visitors I do make sure all of my makeup and girlie stuff is safely stowed away, and that I haven't left any wine glasses around with lipstick. While my timelines are a bit more compressed, I usually think through a similar process if I'm dressing up after work. The best part of all is when all the prep work is done, enjoying the feel of the clothes,, the wig goes on and you take that first look in the mirror totally en femme. I can definitely empathize with that process of making sure those last traces of eyeliner, mascara and shadow are completely gone.

There is something special about being in the zone - sipping that wine, feeling my favorite chair or spot on the couch through my nylons, and knowing that it is something unique and special that the "muggles" (love that in this context!) just wouldn't get. And I agree it is a bit like spycraft, having a special alias that no one knows about.

~Renee

[Wildaboutheels]

BLASPHEMY! It almost sounds as if you are suggesting that we ALL here are not exactly alike? And that we all are not consumed and controlled by "it"? Where would you ever come up with such a crazy idea? Are you suggesting that not EVERYone needs to tell their SO after their very first kiss?

I don't think the folks who periodically post that telling is THE thing to do realize the possible damage they can do to the new and highly impressionable newbies and that some HAVE done. And had their Relationship end. And disappeared from this site shortly thereafter. There have also been more than a few very sharp GGs who came and stayed for just a short while who said they wished they had never been told.

With all that planning you have to do, and prep for "transformation" you would probably make a good spy and it seems likely you have a "dependable" wife who does not like to surprise you by deciding to come home for lunch once in a blue moon or decide to take the afternoon off from work.

You have obviously figured out what works for you and what you need from your dressing. Seems to be what any sane reasonable CDer should do, but I think more than a few allow Forumthink to cloud their better judgement and are too easily influenced to jump on the bandwagon.

IMO, people who can't recognize that being in a "serious" Relationship, [with that piece of paper or not] does not mean that our partners must know how we might CHOOSE to use our spare time, when we are not with them. We are ALL entitled to some ME time, especially if it applies to any activity done only at home.

NOT telling our partners something they do not need to know is NOT lying no matter how many folks here might claim it.

[devida]

Enjoy it while you can, Katey. You are far too forthright, self confident and self aware too keep it up into the distant future. At some point, given the way you present here, you're going to say, like Popeye the SailorMan, I yam what I yam. And everyone will just have to accept it, because you just won't let them do anything else. Until then go ahead and celebrate the secret. Being transgender in all its many variants is worth celebrating. It's no deficit that other people may not know. Many people have incredible talents that other people neither know or want to recognize. As far as I am concerned, being transgender is an incredible talent, worthy of celebration whether others know or not! I just think that someone as personable and charming as you won't wait that long before you require everyone to accept you as you are.

Remember, we aren't crazy. The gender oppressiveness of cisgendered society is what is really pathological. We are just who we are.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

You have to do what is right for you, even considering the impacts on people around you. In my case, my room-mates know I cross-dress. How could they not? I had about half of my female wardrobe in the bathtub for most of the day yesterday doing the wash. Then I had some of it hanging up to dry. Then I asked for and received some quarters so I could get the clothes dried quicker in the dryer. I think in the case of family and friends who might know, but do not necessarily approve of cross-dressing, that there is a line. In my case, I tone it down at home for the sake of their comfort. They live at the house too. However, when I have the place to myself, or when I am coming or going from work, I dress how I wish.

Living in Laramie WY, and having done some research on the subject with people in town, I can tell you that being gay, lesbian, TS, or cross-dressing is accepted at least, as long as it is not thrown in their faces, so to speak. It means, I find acceptance where I can, but respect the rights of others not to accept. And it WORKS. Even here in Laramie, there are places I go to where I can be cross-dressed, and people not only simply do their jobs and take my order and prepare my foods and let me pay for it, but they converse, and so on, even if they call me by John (the only name they know my by).

Part of the excitement is going to a NEW place and being out cross-dressed. When I worked in Fort Collins, Co, at one point I walked a LONG distance to get back to my work place, and I walked along Harmony Rd, a very busy street, and I did it and was very conscious of it. It felt good. Recently I went shopping at Safeway on the way home from work, and so I simply went cross-dressed. I got some stares, but nothing else, and again, it felt good. The theme here, and in the other response is you do what feels good for you, at that time.


Amy M. Jackson

[Farrah]

My preparation used to be similar to yours. Now that my wife knows, I discuss my plans with her. Yes I agree, lets celebrate!!:drink::thumbsup::cheer:

[WhisperTV]

Sounds like a fun routine Katey. :) Mine's a little different as I dress everyday, unless I feel like staying in drab. It's more like "ARRGGHH I need more clothes!", and then make do with what I have.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

Yeah, my approach too, WhisperTV. I kinda ask myself: "What would I look most beautiful in today?" Sometimes it is the one-piece black number that I simply adore. Sometimes it is a White Stag T-Shirt and a skirt. It just depends on the mood, I guess. :)


Amy M. Jackson

[Adriana Moretti]

Hmmmm something tells me Katey Victoria Beckham Kensington Winslet III is out in the yard today , wearing a dress of some sort really enjoying herself....well... I hope so anyway, wishfull thinking. I hear ya loud and clear homegirl...whether I picked a day to go out...or if I'm gunna stay in and be a closet queen, my prep and excitement is very similar...gotta say though if im staying home being a " hideaway honey" ..i skip the nails, cause nobodys looking, and im lazy.LOL...

[Amy Fakley]

Haha yeah. It's the best of times and the worst of times, ain't it? :-)

I know what you mean about planning, I'm the same way. Almost have a checklist at this point.
I figure if I'm ever called upon my my country to do some sort of clandestine work in disguise, I've basically got a master's degree in it by now, LOL.

[tightsplease1986]

For me, cross dressing is almost common knowledge about me now as I've been out as Gracie several times this week! I spent today in Brighton and I dressed up as a girl all afternoon, and when I came back home I didn't even bother to change back into my drab clothes which I had gone down in. I don't see the point in hiding it any more, I've never been a 'man's man' and the amount of times I have been told how good I look in womens' attire...it's becoming more of a 'natural' thing for me to do now.

Gracie xx

[NavyM2F_WAM]

Katey,

That makes a lot of sense to me. I'm in the Navy, so I have to be careful. On my days off, if I get called to go in to fill out paperwork or attend a brief or something, I have to clean everything off and get in my uniform to go in. So, it is a strategic process to going out. Since I'm on nights right now, it is a little easier to dodge the going in stuff.

[Marcelle]

Hi Katey,

Now you know given my background I am going to have to scrutinize your tactical prep with a discerning eye ;)

You do a great tactical plan but with all tactics things can go wrong and you end up dug in on the reverse slope hoping for the best. Contingency planning is a must and that should occur at D-10 . . . never know when the FedEx guy is going to show up or family drops by unexpectedly (infil and exfil routes a must) :). JUST KIDDING! :heehee:

Love the celebration idea and rightly so, we all do what we do to suit our lifestyle and circumstances and no one way is the right way. Be happy, drink and celebrate (but as Teresa points out . . . don't forget the lipstick on the wine glasses :heehee:).

BTW the "Man/Girl from Uncle" nice nod out to the past . . . no Google required for this more mature gal.

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katey, I'm all wore out just reading about all of your preparations .

[Lizzy66]

Hey Katty, I am right there with you as I am too in the closet when it comes to my dressing, but I do not have the routine that you have, because I never know when I am going to have some alone time. But I am sure if I did have a set day or days I would going though the same things. But alas I do not so I usually end up trowing something on and enjoying the time I do have. So I say enjoy it, and celebrate.

Lizzy

[Donnagirl]

Hi Katey,

Don't let Isha judge your plan from the Execution - General Outline only. I'm sure you have pages of 'Action On' items, plenty covering compromise, break contact and tactical withdrawal....

Apparently I need more basic training though. Even with assistance it took me over three hours to get ready, almost as long to clean it all off in the morning. How you can do such a wonderful job under those time limitations is inspirational.

I reckon you were right in a previous post... We should all visit Isha and go out dressed in her home town. After all her efforts she has the entire population in support.

I do hope you can get the chance to escape the closet... I never thought I would but - what a six months I've had...

Big hugs from me, but I guess I've graduated to the next level now. :hugs:

[reb.femme]

....With all that planning you have to do, and prep for "transformation" you would probably make a good spy....

Actually, where Katey mentioned the consumables of "makeup and wine" she was deliberately misleading us. She likes a Martini, shaken, not stirred.

Sounds like a military operation Katey. Luckily, I'm out to she who must be obeyed, but I had many furtive days/nights prior to stepping out into the sunlight. The feeling of euphoria washed over me at every successful dressing session, but you go to lengths that I never did. How do you get away with the nail polish?

Rebecca

[Dana does shopping]

Y'know, Napoleon Solo & Illya Kuriakan, could definitely throw some work to an agent with legs like Yours!!

[NancyJ]

Katey, love the post and very much identify. I long for those private stretches of aloneness and opportunity to br Nancy. I celebrate her, but also long to share her with others.

[Katey888]

Seems like most of you picked up where I’m coming from with this :) and thanks for all your replies – as one of those that likes to put a fair bit of effort into presentation but not have the opportunity (or perhaps the courage.. ;)) to get out into the real world, I was feeling a bit under-represented here, but I think there are probably more of us than appears, because who wants to read or write anything about being in a closet? Well, I do, for one… :p
Now, serious stuff first…

BLASPHEMY! It almost sounds as if you are suggesting that we ALL here are not exactly alike? And that we all are not consumed and controlled by "it"? Where would you ever come up with such a crazy idea? Are you suggesting that not EVERYone needs to tell their SO after their very first kiss?
Thanks Wild – this is the serious bit, because I think there will be countless folk here that will keep this thing a lifelong secret – perhaps even me? I want those folk to feel that this doesn’t make them a ‘Lesser Dresser’ – we can still do what we do and enjoy it within our constraints.


Being transgender in all its many variants is worth celebrating. It's no deficit that other people may not know. Many people have incredible talents that other people neither know or want to recognize. As far as I am concerned, being transgender is an incredible talent, worthy of celebration whether others know or not! I just think that someone as personable and charming as you won't wait that long before you require everyone to accept you as you are.
Remember, we aren't crazy. The gender oppressiveness of cisgendered society is what is really pathological. We are just who we are.
Thanks Devida – yes, I’ve been vocal about wanting to get out – but I’m not yet! We’ll see – but I think you’re last point is worth repeating – I try to tell myself this often!


Hmmmm something tells me Katey Victoria Beckham Kensington Winslet III is out in the yard today , wearing a dress of some sort really enjoying herself....
Adriana – your telepathy is working well, just a day early… Might get a post into the gallery later today.. ;)


Haha yeah. It's the best of times and the worst of times, ain't it? :-)
I know what you mean about planning, I'm the same way. Almost have a checklist at this point.
I figure if I'm ever called upon my my country to do some sort of clandestine work in disguise, I've basically got a master's degree in it by now, LOL.
I feel the same Amy – but I love doing it! Wouldn’t it be great to be a sexy spy? What fantasists we are… :eek:


You do a great tactical plan but with all tactics things can go wrong and you end up dug in on the reverse slope hoping for the best. Contingency planning is a must and that should occur at D-10 . . . never know when the FedEx guy is going to show up or family drops by unexpectedly (infil and exfil routes a must) :). JUST KIDDING! :heehee:
Love the celebration idea and rightly so, we all do what we do to suit our lifestyle and circumstances and no one way is the right way. Be happy, drink and celebrate (but as Teresa points out . . . don't forget the lipstick on the wine glasses :heehee:).
Thanks for the peer review Isha :) – I’ve never done military but I could cut a mean marketing and product strategy in my day.. a lot of similarities, though… And my only contingency is keep the car keys handy…? I figure I’d just sneak out the side gate and drive around until it’s dark… :lol: I’m doomed…!
And it is about lifestyle and circumstances – I wouldn’t suggest everyone could or should do this – but it suits me, because….


Hi Katey, I'm all wore out just reading about all of your preparations .
Believe me, Blue, it’s quite exhausting doing it too! I don’t know if I did it more often it would be easier? But I’d miss all that anticipation and thought – mind you, I screwed up this weekend… fashion disaster coming up later with some of my photos… :facepalm:


Actually, where Katey mentioned the consumables of "makeup and wine" she was deliberately misleading us. She likes a Martini, shaken, not stirred.
…. How do you get away with the nail polish?
Really I’m more a margarita girl if you’re buying…. ;) And I don’t know how I get away with the nail polish – the ball and chain thinks I’m just a bit barmy, but I’m not complaining…

Thanks again everyone – be great to hear from more of us closet dwellers…
Katey x

[Connief]

I too am a closet dweller. I never know when I will get the chance to be me. So I don't do the count down to D day thing. I do spend allot of my off time planning the outfit for the "next time". Sometimes I know when a day in advance, sometimes its "oh cool, the house is empty, I have X hours to have fun" :)

When that time comes, its so refreshing!

[AnneC]

I think you capture the mood very well. I'm sitting here imagining the next time for me.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

OMG Katey, you can read my mind! I've been planning for tomorrow. I just hope nothing happens to cancel my plans.
Donna

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Katey, Wow, you really have quite a program going.
I can see looking ahead and knowing that I'll have this day or that available to me.
All that prep work though, It has to be very disappointing when your plans get changed.
You know me, keeping in shape is nearly a full time experience, tortilla chips, yumm!
1 or 2, OK maybe 5-6 are enough. And wine, well never out of stock, check any closet in the house.
All the other, prep, brows are done constantly, nails rarely if ever, besides their always trashed from work.
Dressing will last long into the next morning, before the make-up is wiped away.

So what is this about my Uncle? Kidding! Damn, That doesn't make me old does it?
Closet Queen Huggs to us all!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[mykell]

hello katey,
you do know i celebrate the secret, but your prep time is exhausting, when i wake in the morning if the weather permits or no tasks need to be done i jump in and get my CD on, nail varnish not so important to me, just lazy about it perhaps, and instant secretary mode in front of the computer taking care of interweb things for that day, a day of transformation at a professional location and a get together at a group event are on my wish list but the kloset has served me well with this, i get to share with everyone here....

[Christen]

This seems to be a more topical issue than the perennial "Why?", well maybe it's just a passing phase .. sort of like my 54 years of CD'ing. I'm with you Katie, for whatever reason some of us will probably always dress within the confines we freely accept.
Just one point I prefer to call it 'Closette', sounds more French, you know?

Closetted Christen x

[Beverley Sims]

When I was completely closeted, it was only weekends and then party, party.

It all ended at six o'clock Sunday nights.

[Mishell]

Been there, done that. Mostly when I was single and just clothes. I'd sometimes get a hotel room in another city. But now, since I've come out with my girlfriend, I look forward to sharing it with her. She's so incredible. Weekends are cool because we both enjoy just holing up in our home with each other.

[Amy Sue]

Katey- Great reading your details and what you go through. I do alot of the same planning in my mind, but maybe not so far out. My wife doesn't know I dress and I have no immediate plans to tell her, so everything is kept on the hush hush. If I am know I am gonna dress, I'll usually not shave for a day or two prior so I can get a close shave when I do shave the morning of.

A few days before I am gonna dress I'll start thinking about clothes I wanna wear and probably chnage my mind several times over the next few days about exactly what I wnat to wear. I'll also think about my makeup, the look I want etc. I'll even watch a few Youtube video's to amybe see if there is something I can try that is new to me and not too hard to do.

Day of (Day Zero) I try and wake up as early as possible, shower and shave, in some cases even before my wife leaves. As soon as she is out the door, I am retrieving my stuff and on goes my make up and I am starting to get dressed, usually by 8:45 or 9Am. I'll stay dressed till about 3:15-30. She leaves work at 4:15 and is home by 5, so that gives me enough time to get undressed, remove my makeup, shower, make sure my face is clean and do a final check through that I didn't accidently leave something out in the open. I have been known to leave an errant Q-tip out I used to fix my eyeliner etc.

The planning and anticipation are fun, but actually doing it is sooooo much better ;)

Amy :)

[Lacey New]

Wow, this sounds so familiar. Nice to know that the closet is large enough fo more than just a few of us. Rarely do I get just a day but i will on occasion get several days in a row and in addition to dressing, i add the element of shopping so I have smething new to wear. So my prep involves scoping out the next item in the internet, which stores and squirreling away some cash for the purchase. Every time, i add just a little more to the package. Still have a long way to go but it is always exciting. Then back to drab for a long stretch until next time.

[Byron]

Pretty much sums it up for me almost perfectly. Giving self hug right now. :D

Never saw the show but got the reference to U.N.C.L.E. ;)

[NicoleScott]

I was a very good clandestine dresser. I attended to every detail, like 1) making sure I accounted for all 10 fake nails 2) accounting for all 10 adhesive nail tab backings 3) removing all traces of makeup 4) nothing incriminating in the trash can 5) no blonde hairs in the vacuum cleaner......oh, the pressure.
I outsmarted everone and everything, except that windstorm. A garbage can blew over and when my wife picked up the mess she discovered a pantyhose package that wasn't her size. Busted, then divorced.
I'm still in the closet, except that my current wife knows and accepts. I'm still careful to not let others find out, but I'm no longer so obsessed with details as before. Despite my best efforts, I got caught anyway.
For me, crossdressing is a very personal and private matter. I have no need to share it with those who know me.

[suzy1]

A happy closeted crossdresser? I remember the time here when to even suggest the possibility that one could be happy in the closet would bring the ‘we must all go out’ brigade down on our heads like the wrath of doom!

I used to love the heated arguments and cat fights over this. Have we all gone soft here?

Suzy, happy in here closet. :)