Question

[susandrea]

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I must have missed it.

Ever since I came here last summer, I've noticed that many of you refer to your femme selves in the third person, as though she is a separate entity.

Such as, "I wanted her to meet Amy", or "I felt I had to put Margo away for awhile", when talking about yourselves.

My question is, why is that? Do you feel like a split personality, so much so that the two sides are completely separate from each other? Or is it just a style kind of thing, like a fad? It seems fairly common.

If you do it, why is that?

I'm just curious. It's something that surprises me for some reason. :angel:

[Sweet Susan]

Great question, Susandrea. I do this with my wife, and sometimes here on the forum. My wife does it with me, as well. She'll see a dress or a top or something, and she'll say, "I think Susan would really like that." I might respond something like, "It's a bit tartish, and Susan does love to wear ****ty clothes." We often have that kind of conversation when sales people are around. I do that on the forum, but I guess it's because I am a split personality when it comes to Susan. While I am definitely her, and she is definitely me, I am not always her, and she could never be me. Follow? So, when discussing something on the forum, and I refer to her in the third person, perhaps I do it to keep the conversation from becoming confused. I'm not sure I can explain it without confusing myself, acutually.

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Susan

If you ever catch me doing that it will be because the phrase "I wanted her to meet me" or the like will be ambiguous otherwise. Also, saying "meet Lisa" is quicker and simpler to type out than "meet me as Lisa" or "meet my femme half" as well.

In one of my stories, though, the CDing main character refers to his femme name in the 3rd person because he hasn't yet accepted that he's really a she on the inside. It will be after he does accept it that he begins talking about her in the 1st person. This is a device I use to bring out his ambivalence, while on the journey to finding himself, between feeling he really is a girl and feeling that dressing up is just a playful fantasy.

Hugs,
Lisa

[susandrea]

Great question, Susandrea. I do this with my wife, and sometimes here on the forum. My wife does it with me, as well. She'll see a dress or a top or something, and she'll say, "I think Susan would really like that." I might respond something like, "It's a bit tartish, and Susan does love to wear ****ty clothes." We often have that kind of conversation when sales people are around. I do that on the forum, but I guess it's because I am a split personality when it comes to Susan. While I am definitely her, and she is definitely me, I am not always her, and she could never be me. Follow? So, when discussing something on the forum, and I refer to her in the third person, perhaps I do it to keep the conversation from becoming confused. I'm not sure I can explain it without confusing myself, acutually.

Do you still do it while en femme?

[susandrea]

Hi Susan

If you ever catch me doing that it will be because the phrase "I wanted her to meet me" or the like will be ambiguous otherwise. Also, saying "meet Lisa" is quicker and simpler to type out than "meet me as Lisa" or "meet my femme half" as well.

In one of my stories, though, the CDing main character refers to his femme name in the 3rd person because he hasn't yet accepted that he's really a she on the inside. It will be after he does accept it that he begins talking about her in the 1st person. This is a device I use to bring out his ambivalence, while on the journey to finding himself, between feeling he really is a girl and feeling that dressing up is just a playful fantasy.

Hugs,
Lisa


That's very interesting. It makes sense.

[Sharon]

I think it all comes down to how we identify ourselves. For those members who still view themselves as being all male, with just a penchant for dressing every now and then, I can understand where they separate their ID's and speak of their fem self as another person.

For those who are a bit more transgendered, their fem identity is more entrenched, and when they post they speak as that persona. I always speak in the first person, but this persona is my true self. If I were to speak of my male self here, then I may actually refer to that persona in the third person.

[Sam-antha]

Yes, but not split. Just another person. In here, it depends on the subject whether the third person is used or not.
Dressed then I am Sam, full stop, period.

[susandrea]

I think it all comes down to how we identify ourselves. For those members who still view themselves as being all male, with just a penchant for dressing every now and then, I can understand where they separate their ID's and speak of their fem self as another person.

For those who are a bit more transgendered, their fem identity is more entrenched, and when they post they speak as that persona. I always speak in the first person, but this persona is my true self. If I were to speak of my male self here, then I may actually refer to that persona in the third person.

That makes sense, too. Thank you!

[Amelie]

I might have done this as well. But I think for me it might be a case of grammar. It is tough for me to write on the forum so others can understand, so I might say Amelie this or that, for clarity to the people reading my post. Sometimes my posts are confusing.

When I am out and about in fem, I don't talk like this. I really don't use the name Amelie out and about. Amelie is my online name.
I don't talk in the third person when I am dressed and out.

[Sophia Rearen]

I'm not sure. Let me ask Sophia when she comes back.:D

[Natasha Joy]

Good question.
When I first started seeing Natasha staring back at me in a mirror I could not believe it was me. Therefore, she is typically always spoken of in the third person. I don't think she really minds though. I certainly don't.
Hope this has answered your question clearly.
Cheers.
Natasha.

[Julie York]

It is not a part of my 'normal' life so it is easier to refer to the character. I don't do it on the forum but I do refer to 'JY' in short hand as a way of simply referring to a mind set without getting all hung up by "If I was dressed up now I would like that....etc". Also, it is a simple secret code between people in public as it appears to refer to someone else.

[susandrea]

All your answers make sense. Thanks. :thumbsup:

[Phoebe Reece]

I sometimes use third person references as a writing convention for references to when I am fully dressed enfemme. In some contexts, the reader can get a more clear picture of the idea that I am presenting as fully a woman as I can through such references. Saying something like, "I was out last weekend as Phoebe." implies more than by just saying, "I was out last weekend dressed as a woman." I see no split in my personality - I am one person, with one personality that has masculine and feminine elements. I don't use third party references when out and about as Phoebe (did it again), except when joking.

[TGMarla]

I wondered all about the "split personality" thing, but I discount it. I am Marla, and she is me. As for my homme name, the same applies. No difference, really. I just like being femme, and when I am, I prefer the femme name. But I think the third person thing you're referring to is mostly done out of convenience when differentiating between the man and the man en femme. Nothing more. I don't doubt that some of us in our unique little community really do struggle with the girl taking on a life of her own and forming a distinct other personality. As for me, I won't allow that to happen. I'd rather just be me. And we are both me.

[susandrea]

Does anyone refer to his male side in the third person while en femme? (other than Sharon?)

[Ms. Donna]

:: :meditate: Donna ponders the implications of refering to herself in the third person... ::

There is no 'split' - no girl or boy personalities. There is only me, all the time.

Other than references like the above (done for 'literary' effect :)), I always refer to myself in the first person.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[emmicd]

I live in secret with my crossdressing. Though my wife knows I have more girl clothes than guy clothes we really never talk about it.

I never refer in third person in my conversations because I don't talk about my crossdressing and this is the only place where I use my femme nom de plume.

I'm just some pretty normal guy who loves women, sports, my family, my work and dressing en femme when I can.

emmi

[Sharon]

Does anyone refer to his male side in the third person while en femme? (other than Sharon?)

LOL -- I said I may refer to myself that way, if I were to do it at all. No split personality here.

"Don't say that!"
"Quiet, you!"
"You never understood me, did you?"
"Nope, and I have no wish to, either."

:eek:

[RachelDenise]

Heck, I'm just practicing for the NBA or NFL where 3rd person references are common!:bs: