PDA

View Full Version : The End of the World!!!



Anne2345
06-08-2014, 11:02 PM
The end of the world was nigh upon me.

Or so I thought.

God knows I have written more than my fair share of dooms day posts on this here forum in the past.

I mean, I was a one thousand foot tall tranny, I had a career, a wife with a career, a young child, and I lived in a socially conservative community. It just couldn’t work out for me. It was too hard. I was too scared. The world was too brutal. It was an impossible scenario. I had zero chance of making anything meaningful and worthwhile happen.

And if I even tried, boxed in by society and circumstance that I was, I would be beat down big time, tarred and feathered, stoned in the public square, flailed repeatedly by cat o’ nine tails, and ultimately burned at the stake for being a tranny.

I saw no future for me. I saw nothing but loss, loss, and even more loss. I saw my world completely falling apart and ending.

It was a hard thing to deal with. One of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. Of course, it was all society’s fault. It was my conservative community’s fault. It was vast numbers of naysayers’ fault. And somehow, someway, it was even El Chupacabra’s fault. But one thing that was clear to me at the time was that it patently was not my fault. I couldn’t be my fault. I mean, I was the victim of a continuous beat down by the bully world I lived in. It wasn’t my fault that they didn’t like me, or that they couldn’t handle me, or that they would rather I die than present myself openly in public for all to see.

And these very serious issues that I wrote about here, these tremendous injustices I described I experienced and suffered in excruciating detail, I at times was bewildered by the lack of sympathy I received from some here. It hurt that some within my own community here would attack me for simply doing what I saw others do – present to the forum the truth as I perceived and experienced it to be. What I thought I was doing was nothing less, nothing more. So screw those here who could not buy into what I wrote. I didn’t need them anyways, because they clearly did not understand.

Fast forward to the here and now, though, and it’s an *entirely* different story.

I see now that I was completely wrong.

I see now that I understood very little.

I see now that I was blind to the truth.

I see now that I allowed fear to completely dictate the decisions I made, and influence negatively my view and perception of the world around me.

And I see that I failed completely to take any responsibility for myself whatsoever in what was going on in my life at the time.

The thing was, though, that I was a victim. But I was not a victim for the reasons that I believed I was. Instead, I was a victim of my own naivety. I was a victim of my own lack of imagination. I was a victim of my own fear. I was a victim of my lack of confidence in myself. I was a victim of my own lack of strength and conviction. I was a victim of my depression that I allowed color my decisions and thoughts. I was a victim of my own lack of true understanding as to what any of this actually meant.

And, ironically enough, I now understand that I had no balls. None whatsoever. I was pathetically weak in this regard. I didn’t even try. I was incapable of substantively trying.

Thankfully, however, the world did not end. Not my world, or the world as a whole. We are both still alive and kicking.

Except now, I am chock full of self-confidence. I now believe I understand more about myself than I ever have before. I even feel really, really good about myself. I feel great, even.

Sure, the reality and the probability is that I will continue to lose certain aspects of my former life that I believed I valued before. And even if it was reasonable that I value such things, I now can see other possibilities exist within this world. It’s not all bad. It’s not all evil.

Rather, what it is is what we make of it. My biggest mistake prior to this year was that I refused to take responsibility for myself. But to be fair to myself, I really did not understand this. My grip on this concept was tenuous at best. And I guess I just wasn’t ready yet to open my eyes to the true reality of the world and myself in general.

Yeah, there is still much hard work to do. But that’s okay. If I lose things I had before in life, I will find other things to take the place of what was lost. I see now that what I am doing is simply giving myself a chance to make this work for me. And really, what more can anybody in any aspect of life ask for but a chance to accomplish and make do with what is.

I am good with this now. I control me. I am responsible for me. And instead of shirking from the responsibility and shying away from the challenge, I choose to meet it head on now. It will not get the better of me.

So for those of you currently out there that think the world is going to end, I am sorry, but you are out of luck. It just ain’t gonna happen. I simply will not allow it.

Because I have a life to live, and a life to make my own.

The future is wide open. It’s wide open for us all. We can either accept this and make our way through it as best we can, or we can deny this simple truth and continue to flail around in fear and self-imposed impossibilities and misery.

Dare to dream. Dare to live. Dare to take life by the f’ing balls and make it your own.

It’s out there for the taking, after all.

I see that now. I get it.

And I’m on it, and I shall grab it and hold on to it with all my might.

It’s all good now. Because there is much hope, and because, in the end, I am the master of my own destiny. Just as all of you are.

You just gotta believe. And to all those here that I thought were jackholes to me, I thank each and every one of you for the service you did me. Y’all some wise ass bitches having been there and done that and all. I appreciate, admire, and love each and every one of you. Your support, understanding, and work trying to bust through my extraordinarily thick skull was well worth the effort, and I thank y’all from the bottom of my heart for doing so.

Just know that you all have created a monster in so doing. But a monster who knows exactly what she wants, and is working her absolute butt off to make it happen.

The world ending?

Ha!! What a complete, total, utter joke.

More like the world is just now beginning for me, and the sky is the limit . . . .

:)

Persephone
06-08-2014, 11:22 PM
Wow Anne!

What an incredible post! Wish I could give you a hug!


Hugs,
Persephone.

KellyJameson
06-09-2014, 12:48 AM
Often the very things a person needs to transition they don't have because they are transsexual.

Most people who finally start to transition are doing so out of a very dark place.

You spend a measure of time lost in a wilderness.

The experience can break you, taking you into suicide. Sometimes slowly and othertimes quickly.

I have watched others show you "tough love" and understood why.

I must admit sending a few frantic PM's worried that you "May not make it out and to the other side"

I never really thought I would make it when I was living my life and looking forward into the future.

I could feel how fragile I was and thought the first ill wind would break me into so many pieces and this "hanging onto so little of what we have" is what can also keep us locked in place.

When you are starving you eat the seeds instead of planting them for a richer harvest but it is an illusion that we will starve to death if we plant the seeds.

We spend years living without our actual identities and worse, living against them.

Who in their right mind would not be scared witless by this experience so we are in danger of being trapped by are own fears until the pain is so great we stop caring if we survive or not and this is when we act.

To transition you have to let go of your life to gain it from realizing you never had it anyway.

Transitioning is alot like life, only more so.

Andy66
06-09-2014, 01:20 AM
What a wonderful post, Anne. Im so happy that youre happy, and I wish you a beautiful future.

Dawn cd
06-09-2014, 10:01 AM
Relieved and delighted you're in a good place—which is fitting, since you're one of the good people. What brought on the change in perspective? Can you describe the process?

kimdl93
06-09-2014, 05:49 PM
It seems the keys are to believe in yourself and in the possibilities.

dreamer_2.0
06-09-2014, 07:34 PM
Love this post, and yours too, Kelly!

Edyta_C
06-09-2014, 08:16 PM
All I can think is Wow! That gal has got it.

Edy

Rachel Smith
06-10-2014, 06:54 AM
It was posts similar to this that helped me make the decision to transition. Thank you for sharing.

becky77
06-10-2014, 09:24 AM
Humorous post but also has real meaning. :)

About sums it up, years of fighting against the impossible without realising one hasn't even tried it yet.

Good for you Anne.

Jorja
06-10-2014, 09:40 AM
It has been my experience that I have been to the end of the world on several occasions. The thing I have always found true is that it isn't really the end of the world but the beginning. Always walk toward the light unless you live inside of a bug zapper.;)

Foxglove
06-12-2014, 02:49 PM
This post should be preserved for the ages. When the transphobes are questioning our rights as citizens and human beings, they always ask, "Why should we accomodate you?" (As if our lives are any of their business to begin with.)

One answer (and a very good one, I think) is, "You tell us we're sick. Therefore, what with you being the warm-hearted and compassionate people you are, obviously you'd like to see us healed. And how can we be healed? By you lot buggering off, leaving us in peace and letting us live our lives as we need to."

Yes, once you accept that you're trans and start moving in the right direction--i.e., start making your life what you need it to be--everything changes. Your whole outlook on life changes. I know that for the first few months after I came out, I lost a lot of sleep. I was having trouble getting to sleep at night because I was so excited about getting out of bed in the morning and living another day of my life. For the first time ever, I was actually happy to be alive. That was quite an experience.

Well done, Anne! Glad to know you've made the same discovery I have. (Too bad it took me so long.)

kimdl93
06-12-2014, 10:51 PM
That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs
Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter with a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the Furies breathing down your neck

Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh-oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

Six o'clock, TV hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh-oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline

It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)

It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)

The other night I dreamt a nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right? Right

It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine (It's time I had some time alone)

(It's time I had some time alone)

Nicole Erin
06-13-2014, 02:45 PM
Relieved and delighted you're in a good place—which is fitting, since you're one of the good people. What brought on the change in perspective? Can you describe the process?

Not sure what Anne will say but here is one way -

You start to realize that the only people who are going to be rude about this are the people NOT worth knowing anyways. The good folks of the world do not yell out, "Oh my god! what is that?! HAHAHAH" No, only the nastiest people do so. You also learn to avoid such pricks.

You get to a point where you are tired of carrying around the anger and fear. You decide to just live your life. "You know what? Hell with it, I need to do this, so what if some people do not agree." "Damn the torpedos" might be what we are thinking.

You get to a point where instead of worry and shame, feel good about yourself. You start to take pride in yourself.

In life in general, you decide "This is my time to live for me". That goes for everything, especially once you hit about 40. Kids are grown, spouse probably left, and you will NOT live for rude strangers (the main reason many TG do not go out. Man, F*** what they think).

Oh yes you asked how to get to that point. Here it is -
As you go out more and more without incident, you start to understand everything will be alright. Eventually you do not think about being TG. You just live life.

Michelle789
06-13-2014, 03:22 PM
Anne, I love your post. It's very inspirational to me, and give me lots of hope that most of our fears are just that, fears, and the result is often better than we think it is.

Yes, it's true that some people on this forum can demonstrate a lack of empathy to those of us who are questioning our gender identity.

Sadly, we can get torn down by others in the real world TG support groups too.

Often there's lots of insecurity and jealousy. Other transwomen, and cis-women, can be jealous because we look better, pass better, dress better, or even dress in a fashion they feel they have to avoid out of fear of being clocked, and sometimes they take it out on us by misgendering us, making backhanded comments about our fashion sense, wig, makeup, and talking behind our backs too, but often the comments are made on our face yet in an underhanded sneaky way, like the way miss bossy lady at Wednesday nights support group did about my clothes. She said "guaranteed you will get clocked" and she was staring at my legs, she did this three times, and yet a few minutes earlier she was telling me that "no one should tell me what to do", but she was just telling me how I should or should not dress in an underhanded way.

In spite of her words about me getting clocked, I went to the supermarket later and got ma'amed by someone who had seen me from head to toe.