Feminine speech in crossdressers?

[Ciara09]

I remember when I was around 12-13 years old, I saw a video taken of me and my sisters and cousins at a party when I was about 8, and I was shocked by how feminine my voice was. I really didn't think I was overly girly as a kid until I saw this video. I talked very much like a girl. I know all little boys have a high voices, but it was more the inflection and stuff, extremely feminine.

When I saw that video I felt really embarassed. I also remember other instances where I heard my voice played back, but even when I was trying to control my voice I still always had this very feminine sound.

Now as an adult it still happens, I've heard voice my played back from times when I didn't know I was recorded and was surprised by my own femininity. My voice is high for a guy but too deep to be mistaken as female I think, but I often wonder if when people hear me speak do they think I'm gay right away. I don't have a flamboyant voice like the stereotyped gay voice, but very quiet and feminine and passive. My "s" sound is very feminine.

Is this common with crossdressers? Another one of the telltale signs?

[Wiccle]

I think it's difficult to pull off if you're not using to speaking in a fem way. Can't remember if I've ever had to speak to someone while dressed. At least not a proper full-blown conversation anyway. I'd be too embarrassed for that.

[aprilgirl]

Hard to say Ciara, at least for me these days, I don't think anyone would ever mistake my voice as nothing but that of a man's. I do recall a few times as a teen being mistaken as one of my sisters over the phone, which embarrassed me at the time. Made me paranoid as well, as I was dressing at the time and felt that I was giving off cues to my secret. Kim

[Jaylyn]

My voice is so deep and low pitched it would be very hard to pull it off. I try and keep my mouth shut when I'm in girl mode as my wife said it kills the moment.

[CrossJess]

Im told i have a very soft voice, not really high its kind of in between, i can do a real girly voice but it just makes me sound gayer than i already sound lol oh well

[Simone_40]

I had to 'train' my male voice to sound masculine at work; out in public in 'boy mode', etc. But my real voice is very sweet, seductive & sexy. That's the way I was made.

[Farrah]

My voice cannot and will not be mistaken as feminine.

[ReineD]

I don't know about crossdressing (I'm a GG), but my voice never sounds the way it sounds in my own head. I HATE hearing myself on tape. My voice is always "too" or "not enough" something or other.

My brother was a late bloomer like you. Slow to grow, slow to shave, slow to change voices. His voice is also not as deep as other males, and he is not a CDer.

My SO (who is a CDer) has a very deep voice.

[Ciara09]

I haven't actually crossdressed in about 5 years and I've never been in public, if I did I think I'd use my normal voice and not try to be any more fem.

Most of what I know about CDs is what I've read on this forum. I don't know how insecure people on here are about being feminine especially if you live a straight lifestyle and are closeted as a CD (like me). It seems like a lot of CDs are quite masculine in real life and I wish I could say I'm the same but I'm just not manly no matter how I try.

I don't want to be a woman or anything and I have no idea what motivates me to crossdress. But I do have a fem speech pattern, I have a very passive personality and I somehow ended working in a "pink collar" profession.

I guess as a CD it's good being naturally fem, I remember when I was still dressing I felt like it was quite easy for me to walk like a girl and sit like a girl and stuff. That kinda stuff has always come natural to me... Maybe a little too natural!

[Abbygirl]

...I don't have a flamboyant voice like the stereotyped gay voice, but very quiet and feminine and passive. My "s" sound is very feminine.

I have a question(raises hand) -- what does a very feminine sounding "S" sound like? I'm not sure but I imagine it to be a little bit longer than a male "S", more like "Sss"?

[Ciara09]

Yeah it's just a bit longer. The gay stereotype voice is probably more exaggerated in this regard. Sometimes you do hear men with that s sound that isn't quite as flamboyant. With me its kind of subtle but I definitely notice it when I hear myself. I tend to suppress it when I'm more conscious of it. I don't how noticeable it is to others but most women have it, some more than others.

I think if you took the average male voice and change the pitch high they would sound like a young boy or maybe a tomboy. Me I think I would sound quite like a female if you raised the pitch of my voice.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't know about crossdressing (I'm a GG), but my voice never sounds the way it sounds in my own head.
^this. I've heard myself on tape, and I know why people think I'm a moron; it's the upper register sound combined with a nasal twang and New York style loss of the ending consonants. It's not like Mike Tyson's high pitch voice, but I'll never have the Robert Mitchum or Sam Elliot voice that I wish I could have.

[ReineD]

Lol, s_miss, it's not as bad as you might think. I'm sure the people in your life don't think you have a bad voice at all, even though you don't like the sound of it on tape. I cringe every time my SO and I walk into his place, and he listens to a voice message I had left earlier. Ugh. But he doesn't seem to mind my voice at all! :)

[Melody1]

My cd voice sounds so fake to me I refuse to even practice it in front of my wife, I'm hoping it will get better, or I'll just get used to it. This is one of my big fears of out and about in drag

[Charla McBee]

I'm still afraid to even try. I think I'd have to practice with a tape recorder to see how ridiculous I'd sound first. Speech is probably the most difficult obstacle you'll face if you are trying to pass. If not, I wouldn't worry about it.

[Ciara09]

I do have two older sisters and my voice was mistaken for them a few times. But I remember very well an incident from when I was about 12 and already self conscious, I once answered the phone and the a woman asked for me. My real name sounds feminine and is often for a female's. I said to the woman "Speaking." And she said "Oh... I didn't realize you were a little girl!" Not only did she think I was a girl after hearing my voice, but a "little" girl! And I was a 12 year old boy! I can look back and laugh about that now but at the time it was tough on me, made me even more paranoid about my sexuality and gender.

[typhoidmary]

I sound hideous enough talking normally, putting on a more feminine voice would probably just accentuate it more. I sound like a slightly camp 13 year old private school boy whose voice just broke.

[Ciara09]

I have been paying closer attention to my speech style today after posting this and yeah I think I am like ReineD in that the way I hear my voice when I'm speaking is totally different than how it sounds when I hear it played back. I mostly just think I sound like a normal guy when I'm talking then if I hear it played back I hear the feminine inflections that I wasn't really aware of.

But there was one exception I picked up on today which is the "st" sound. I greeted a girl I know named Kristen like "hi Kristen" and right after I said it I was aware that I sound really gay when I say the name Kristen. Its the "st" and yeah I noticed it in other words too like "stop" although for some reason less so than in "Kristen." So then later I kept repeating the word "Kristen" to myself and trying to say it like a normal guy and it was actually kinda hard. I could do it a few times shortening the "st" sound but oddly it's awkward for me and I have trouble repeating it like that. It's so weird it's like the way my tongue hits my teeth or something.

[Beverley Sims]

I talk with my hands, exclaim a lot, use feminine pronouns, walk with small steps...

I won't go on but I find it difficult to cover it all up in guy mode.

[ArleneRaquel]

When talking on the phone I am often mistaken as a female, mainly by pesty salesman, I hope that my voice sounds female when I'm out & about dressed enfemme.

[Ciara09]

Yeah I have to call a courier at work sometimes and I sometimes worry I'm gonna get ma'amed but it hasn't happened yet. They ask my name and as I said my name is often mistaken for a females so sometimes I think they're not sure what my gender is when I call, cuz although I have fem speech pattern my voice is deeper than your typical female for sure.

[ArleneRaquel]

Clara,
I love it when I'm mistaken dor being female, especially when I'm not on the phone. This has happened a number of times, to my great surprise. But I do question the oberservers eyesight when I'm mistaken for a mature woman.

[Ciara09]

As a cd I guess I would like it on some level but it's the awkwardness of having to correct someone when they get your gender wrong that I fear, because I'm extremely shy so it's hard for me to deal with the awkwardness.

The time the woman thought I was a little girl as a 12 year old, my mom picked the phone up right after I answered, I didn't know but she was listening when the lady called me a little girl (mom heard it, ouch!). The lady actually asked for my mom and then my mom chimed in, "this is his mom and actually he's not a little girl!" and then laughed. I think it's funny now but at that time not so much, lol.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Caira, My deep male voice is here to stay.

[heather88]

When i called girls i liked in school from middle school to 10th grade most of them honestly thought they were talking to a girl, and one time they honestly told me that they didnt know they were talking to me until they asked me. My voice isnt really deep but its not high. when i was at the cd/trans meeting in my area and this subject came up, a few of them were saying that it would be easier for me to try to get a female voice/tone than someone who is much deeper than myself but i really havent played with trying to modify my voice yet.

[suchacutie]

I naturally have a very deep voice that took some serious work to change for Tina. I have learned to block out the bass part of my voice but there is still a lot of practice to be done to fix inflections and work usage.

It sounds like you are having a much easier time making the voice transition, and we are certainly jealous :)

[Ciara09]

Heather do you ever get the sense people you are gay because of your voice?

For me I think lot of people who know me think I'm gay, I have been asked if I was gay before by some female friends, and actually my mom asked me if I was gay when I was a teenager. And one of my sisters ask me if I was gay too. I don't act flamboyantly gay and do have a lot of male oriented hobbies, but I think when people get to know to me they notice that I have a very feminine personality and people always assume fem men are gay.

[Ciara09]

It sounds like you are having a much easier time making the voice transition, and we are certainly jealous :)

Actually I'm not making a voice transition, at this point I'm happy to be myself whatever that is. Suppressing my natural femininity has gotten me a lot of stress over the years and I really just want be myself now.

If that's means having a fem voice that's ok, but I'm not going to try to exaggerate or anything, I wanna use the same voice- my real voice- no matter what clothes I'm wearing.

[Marcelle]

Hi there Ciara I would say my voice is James Earl Jones deep but it is comparative to most males in the normal low range. When I am out I do interact with people in conversation and will soften the voice a bit (almost moving the sound further up in my throat region). It in no way is feminine and I am sure people guess quite quickly. But then again they know the minute the look at me that I am a guy. However, I still to the softer voice regardless.

Hugs

Isha

[heather88]

Yes ciara, I most certainly do. People are way too quick to form opinions that are really based off of what they've seen on television versus actual interaction with people to try to be able to make a resonable assumption of people. It, along with my fem side and essentially being a therapist to most of the girls in school at lunch time i feel is what has really kept me to the friendzone with so many women making their assumptions. Ive always had a fem side, love to talk, ive got emotions, ive cried, write poetry, love to help people and other stuff. Have i wondered if im gay, yes. i most certainly have, and i still wonder about it but idk what to do about it in the weird situation im in. but i havent let my voice hold me back from most things i want to do. if i want to wear a dress outside while ive got a beard, thats my choice, its clothes and i wont force myself to be stuck in pants and a tshirt for the rest of my life.

[Ciara09]

Heather I think I'm a lot like you. I was a virgin until my early twenties and didn't really have a girlfriend until age 23. People assumed I was gay because I didn't show much interest in dating girls but I was just shy and anxious about that.

I always love to write, including poetry, and am an extremely empathic person. That's just how I am naturally I never tried to be that way. I've always been much more comfortable socializing with females and I think that can get you labeled gay even if you don't identify as such.

[samantha rogers]

I spent years in drama school learning how to have a deeper baritone voice to use on stage. Sigh...now I am trying to use that same training to find a more feminine voice, pushing it out of my chest and into my head and adding a certain breathiness. But it is tough to do. Especially as you are out longer and tend to relax and slip. Still need a lot of practice. Double sigh...

[heather88]

you might just be ciara, itd be nice to have a friend. i was a virgin until i was 17 and tried to lost it on prom night but that didnt work out and i dont feel like explaining right now lol. anyway, i had interest in dating girls it just always turned out the same way, that most of them actually broke up with me and i think that my emotions and all that stuff is what caused that. opening my mind thinking/wondering if maybe i was trying to over play relationships to try to tell myself that im not bi or gay may have been what really attributed to that but i am begining to open myself to that as ive been looking at men/cds/trans more than ever. its difficult being that ive only had sex with one person to think about how to go about trying to figure my sexuality out more when i was never good with starting or keeping a relationship with anyone from the get go. but yes its a shame that people that do anything outside of playing sports and driving race cars gets labeled like we're gay or something.

[Ressie]

Is this common with crossdressers? Another one of the telltale signs?

Not Really. But it must make some people wonder.. is he gay..is he trapped in a man's body? Most men with effeminate voices are gay I assume. I also have a deep voice, but find myself sounding more like a woman sometimes. Personalities change a bit throughout time for most people IMO.

I'm losing some manly speech patterns (I might have had) and CDing is a factor… at least in my case. But I think I pick up fem speech patterns and vocabulary from being around women that I admire. Since I noticed this I try to repress it when I'm hanging out with the guys. I can be very soft spoken sometimes, but I can also put on a louder, assertive voice.

[Algoma]

No, I don't sound like a girl. BUT I would love to be able have a feminine tone and pattern of a feminine voice. My own dream. Ciara I would say you are lucky.

Algoma

[Ciara09]

Ressie- I know what you mean about trying suppress feminine speech patterns when you're with a group of guys. When I hang out with a group of guys I get really anxious about my femininity, so much so that my social life has really tanked in recent years because I feel so uncomfortable with male groups.

In contrast for me I actually feel really relaxed socializing with females. I don't get as paranoid about sounding gay or feminine, they might see me as "one of the girls" but that's fine with me, because I just can't seem to be "one of the guys." I think my only chance at having a social life is probably hanging out with mostly women or maybe arty guys but even they make me uncomfortable sometimes. As I mentioned, there's been times when I've had a social group of females that I connected with and was a part of, but I withdrew when I realized people were stereotyping me as gay.

[Ressie]

Ciara09, you shouldn't worry about what others think so much. I think you've become self concious about your voice only after hearing the recordings. Don't be so critical about yourself - lighten up - maybe even laugh at yourself a little. :) Accept yourself 'cause your all you got baby!

[phlover]

When I was young, the sister of my friend said that my voice is quite feminine and my lips look like a girl's, which embarrassed me at that time.
I've also heard many people around me say that I have higher and thinner pitch in my voice.
My voice is still rather thin and high-pitched compared to common men's.
When you hear your voice recorded, you would find that your voice sounds rather higher than when you hear your own voice as you talk.
Thus, I feel rather strange when I hear my recorded voice which sounds rather highly pitched and feminine, and I wonder how others would feel when I talk to them.

[Ivie]

I think I might be able to sound androgenous enough not to stand out, but I've never had the confidence to properly try, when I've been out and needed to speak to people I just have and not had any negative results (though I'm sure my sound left no illusions!)
I've always had a wide vocab, I know that in itself has made me sound different in some situations, and I write a little professionally so words are kind of my thing...
Separately to the voice issue, I do recognise the comment about feeling out of place in more masculine groups and very at ease with women.
Sorry that was rather sporadic, I couldn't submit an article like that!
Ivie ;-)

[Tina_gm]

I have a mid range male voice, without a lot of natural range sadly. However, at times my inflections will get a bit feminine.

[mariehart]

I'm very softly spoken and despite being middle aged still have a young voice. I use radio a lot and it's really obvious when I hear recordings. When I'm crossdressed without any effort my voice goes up a couple of octaves. On the phone I have been mistaken for a woman.
I knew a man in his twenties. He sounded entirely like a young girl. I felt sorry for him.

I have no visible Adams apple. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I know it helps deepening the voice and it is secondary sex characteristic. Those of us here with high voices. It would be interesting to check that.