viewing women differently

[RachelCross]

I have had the urge to cross dress all my life but only recently accepted that Rachel was a part of my life. So, I have begun the journey of uncovering the woman inside of me and in doing so I have realized that I view women differently. In my teens and twenties it was all hormonal "that chick is hot" but thankfully we grow out of that (at least thinking that way ALL the time). Anyway, a few weeks ago I was sitting in Panera when I noticed a woman at the register and thought she was beautiful. It wasn't lustful or anything like that, it was more that I respected the effort she puts in to be so beautiful. After that I find that I appreciate women so much more than I ever did, not that I didn't before, don't get me wrong, but it so different. Maybe it is the woman inside or the evolution of my male self but whatever it is I like it.

Has anyone else experienced or is experiencing this?

[Bria]

Yes, very much so. Many times I'm looking at the clothes and the total presentation not just the bod. It teaches you that beauty is not as simple as you thought when the hormones had total control of your mind.

Hugs Bria

[CrossJess]

As a CD I think you relate better and have a much better understanding of how the female mind works, my best friend JoJo I know inside out and I know what's she's thinking just by looking at her or know what's she's "actually" saying when what's coming out is totally different lol but that really only came though crossdressing, also quite often I look at girls not because I'm interested "yea right chance ill be a fine thing:doh:" lol but for what they have on and how they look, more often than not I will look at how a woman dresses for fashion tips and it's also my way of keeping up with fashion

[Ciara09]

Question Rachel: would you say your sexual attraction to women is not as strong as it was now that you identify as a crossdresser?

[heather88]

I would have to say that my opinions are different than they used to be. Epecially with what we do we have more respect and appreciation for what women do on a daily basis. The past few years I have normally gone out of my way to compliment a woman. I did it just yesterday at the grocery store, there was a girl who had hair that seemed like it was dyed dark blue at the root and like turning to a dark green on the tips. i thought it was awesome. most people dont realize how much that can change a persons day just by giving them a compliment. I would be the same way, if i went out and had my hair done and my nails and just looking like a diamond i'd like to have someone tell me that my hair or my nails or whatever was nice. i think we realize that and have altered the ways we percieve things because of what we do and some or most of us living in fear, understanding what someone, whoever it is, giving you a compliment on something you've done, especially if it makes you feel beautiful.

[Kate Simmons]

When we finally grow up, we appreciate people more for who they are. :)

[Edyta_C]

When younger I watched most the body. Now it is the total package. I appreciate the care that a GG puts into her clothes, jewelry, shoes and makeup. The body under all of that is much less important.

Edy

[Alice B]

I love seeing beautiful women and like you was somewhat lustful when I was younger. Now, when I see a beautiful woman I often take the time to tell them that they are beautiful, while wishing I had their looks (not even slightly possible) and study how they dress for ideas.

[Kacie]

I can relate to this. I used to look at them and think "wow, she's hot!". Now, I look and think "she's really pretty. Wonder how'd I'd look if I wore that?".

[hope springs]

10000% yes Rachel..

I was intimidated by beautiful before. Also i didnt really understand woman at all. Their motivations and viewpoints were foreign to me. Further, i definitely objectified woman. Now, after coming out CD, its a night and day difference.
Im trying to empathize with women, not let my hormones and other biological drives dictate my interaction with them. As such i have no problem approaching any woman. I would say my desire for women has not changed, just that lusty angle that colors everything male

Edit: just like we may never know with certainty whats its like to be a GG. I dont think women can understand just how powerfull testosterone can be. The male sex drive definitely robbed me being able to interact with women on a deeper level. My dressing is definitely altering that one dimensional thinking

[mariehart]

Some men never get it. Women are just people whether beautiful or not. If more men could lose their illusions the world would be a better place.

[Beverley Sims]

It is a constantly changing view I experience all the time.

Women are still hot but the appreciation is a little different.

[Katey888]

Yes Rachel - I can relate... :)

I think I've always appreciated both ways (how they look and what they're wearing and 'wouldn't it be nice to try that') to slightly different degrees.. mostly it depends on the age of the observed GG with respect to my age at the time... I might be a trifle ageist in that sense, but...

When younger, I could look at younger women my age and think typically male thoughts... I look at much younger women now and think how lucky they are in how they look from a perspective of fitness and youth, but not in the same lustful sense...

I think I've always looked at women of a certain age - probably in that 30-45 bracket - and thought both things, even when a young man... definitely had a thing for older women... :o Now I can also look at women of that age bracket and think that they often possess the ideal combination of style, sexuality, physique and maturity...

They've fundamentally got it by then - they know what switches men on and how to use it effectively without being overly brash or lurid... I'm a complete sucker for that... but what a way to go... :D

Katey x

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I experience both sides of this. There are still women I find hot, and
also women that I think look beautiful, mostly for their attire, and I
don't mind complimenting a person on that. I hope that it makes
them feel proud that they were able to dress in a way that got a
compliment.


PS: I do have to note, both here and in other places, that we need
to lose the men bashing. "If more men could lose their illusions..."
Really? We should not forget who we were before we discovered our
inner woman, and then strove to bring that part of ourselves to the
surface. I am proud as a woman, but I do not disrespect men in
general.


Amy M. Jackson

[Camilla]

I agree Rachel, I crossdress since ever but especially in the last years I look at women in a different way, most af all after the outing with my wife.
I can recognize a beautyful woman and I'm attracted by her, but a the same time I look and admire the way she dress and make up, how she walks and moves the way she smiles...as searching an inspiration.
I think is the woman side of me that looks to her as a mate, not just a "hot chick", and I'd like so much to talk with her like friends does about dresses , shoes, make up and other female things...would be so nice !

[carhill2mn]

The simple answer is "yes"! I always appreciate seeing a woman who has made an effort to look nice.

[suchacutie]

When we are trying so hard to present our feminine selves, the source of all that information is the half of the population that are GGs! It's logical that we move from biological attraction to a real interest in every detail that makes their presentations say, "feminine" in a loud voice. That's not only clothes and makeup, but what they say and how they carry on conversations. We quickly begin to appreciate everything feminine from the inside out, as it were!

As our feminine selves mature, our perspective of and our interaction with women around us has to change with our understanding and empathy. I find it really terrific!

[Teresa]

Rachel it is a funny old World and I mostly agree with you on appreciating the way women look, some you find attractive some are just plain sexy ! But you know many will sit in front of their mirrors and wish they could change something, I'm sure most of us have heard out partners say after doing their hair and makeup, " Oh well that will have to do ," To us they look perfect and seeing them out and about they look amazing. All we wish for is the chance to be like that and pass for a while and maybe think we look attractive !

[Debra Russell]

Oh yeah and wanting to emulate all the styles and femm features to boot - they truly are amazing ...........................................Debra

[RachelCross]

To answer the question of my desire for women and if it has decreased since I began crossdressing It has, but not sure how much is being femme or just getting older, so I have to believe its both.

I am glad to see I am not alone in appreciating women more. Its funny, before I began to crossdress, if I saw a woman wearing something not attractive to me or not something my ideal woman would wear I wouldn't pay attention. But, now I do. I love how different we all are and how we want to present ourselves. An example is the Goth look. Not necessarily attracted to a "goth chick" but now I see how absolutely beautiful their dresses can be and what they can do. So, to me, this is another reason I feel fortunate to have embraced the woman inside of me, I have evolved for the better. I like to think so anyway. Thanks for all the responses, it has been fun reading them. Love, Rachel

[AnneC]

I've always like girls. Had a lot of girls as friends in school but they were friends, not "girl friends". Today I have a lot of friends who are women and I love having them. I will never pretend to totally understand all that being a woman might entail.

[Farrah]

I soooo agree with you. I've looked at women differently all of my life. I've always respected them. I admire the time they spend on themselves. I also enjoy spending that same time on myself as well, when I dress. I told my wife, "The time I spend primping, is one of the things I enjoy about dressing." Ive also encouraged her to spend more time with herself, not that she doesn't already, but...

[Ciara09]

My experience has been kind of reversed, because I haven't crossdressed in several years.

I crossdressed regularly in my late teens and early 20s, at that time when I noticed an attractive woman I would be intrigued but maybe not have a strongly sexual response. I paid attention to presentation things like hair, clothes, jewelry, more so than bodily things like breast size. I would say my fixation on women was more admiration, maybe a little jealousy, than attraction.

Since I stopped crossdressing 5 years ago, my view of women has felt more like sexual attraction. I'm still paying a lot of attention to presentation but it feels less like admiration/appreciation and more like sexual attraction. I've become more interested in women's bodies than I used to be.

I'm not saying that crossdressing and attraction to women will go against each other, but that has been my experience, but I'm just one person. Maybe I'm weird.

[PaulaQ]

Since I am a MtF transsexual, I guess I have kind of a unique perspective on this. I've always been more comfortable around women, rather than men, as friends, like so many of you report.

Do I understand women better now, because I purport to be one? Well, I've asked a pretty large number of GG's on this site, and I guess the conclusion I reach is "no - apparently not." Indeed, some tell me I have not a shred of femininity to my character. (Female energy, whatever traits one might associate with women, whatever you want to call this. I don't have it apparently.)

I'm not too likely to get it either - I have none of the history that genetic women experience in their lives. My story is very different from theirs. And at this point, I'm simply too old to acquire many of the life experiences that shape women, both good and bad. Were I younger, I'd have a chance. At this point? No way. I missed the boat - a long time ago.

Although I believe myself to be a woman - at least the stuff inside my head that gives me any identity at all believes this to my core, I know most genetic women will never see me this way. I'm - something else.

Superficially, as I transition, I more and more resemble a woman. My physical body, on the surface, more and more closely mirrors that of a genetic woman. But I'm inferior in every possible way to the GGs, at least physically.

So how do I see women now? I see them as who I identify myself as - but will never really be a part of. You just don't get to assign yourself to a team, as it turns out. They have to accept you too - and they are unlikely to do so with me. Why would they? Even though I live as a woman now - my experiences are quite atypical of the lives of most women my age. I have no past they relate to, nor do they have a past I relate to. We've lived completely different lives in nearly every possible way.

I'm coming to terms with who I am in terms of my personality - I like who I am, although it doesn't strike me being particularly stereotypically female. I'd like to be a nice, normal little straight girl. But I'm so far from that, I have to wonder if the term "woman" even applies to me.

So yeah, I guess I view women as something I'll never really be able to measure up to.

How's that for a different view of women?

[~JessM~]

This is very true, I used to look at a women and think "she is cute/hot/ect." These days I look at a women and think "where did she get that top".

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rachel, When I see a very beautiful lady I like to take in the whole picture then dissect it to what
makes her look that way and make mental notes for future dressings.

[Marcelle]

Hi Rachel . . . well as a young guy (many years ago) I thought with that crazy "guy lizard brain" as most of us do. When I got older the lizard brain went away (or at least was tamed) and I began to see women in a different light . . . potential soul mates, someone who I could share my hopes and dreams with (that is how I met my wife). Do I still look at women and feel that lizard brain flicking around in the background . . . absolutely as we would not be human. But again I will hazard a guess that women think the same thing when they see a drop dead gorgeous guy. Do I look at women differently now then when I was a young dude . . . you bet . . . but for me that is just maturity not so much dressing.

Hugs

Isha

[Renee Elise]

For me, the "lizard brain" is still very active. But at the same time I might make as mental note about shoes or color combinations. Dressing has tamed the lizard a bit in a good way...I find it easier to get into friendly banter, likely due to a sense of kinship with my femme side.

[Pink Susan]

I'm always looking at Women , and I think "wow her hair is so nice " "Love her make-up ", "what a pretty dress , where can I find that " and so on ..and I applaud any woman who has clearly taken time , to present herself nicely in public .or indeed at home

By the same token , I despair at todays women too, all the beautiful clothes they can wear , gorgeous lingerie , ... and they look awful , make no effort whatsoever , they go out in clothes our Mothers and grandmothers wouldn't have done the gardening in .

[MsVal]

Maybe it's age, maybe it's conditioning, maybe it's something else ... I agree.

I notice women's style now, the image they wish to present, and how they go about it. Whereas I used to simply respond to it without knowing why.

I have a much easier time complimenting women on their presentation and what specific things they have done to achieve it. Whereas I used to know so little about it that I couldn't identify any component.

I am more attuned to feminine speech and behavior, observing for the sake of duplicating.

And the desire for accurate duplication is likely the root of this attention. There are numerous Youtube clips that help crossdressers achieve a feminine presentation, but they can only draw attention to what we must observe and duplicate in the real world.

The wisecrack I've used: "When other guys see a beautiful woman they say that they want to get IN her pants. When crossdressers see a beautiful woman they say they want to get in her PANTS.

Best wishes
MsVal

[lovetobedani]

I've always admired how women can use they're femininity to project a beautiful and sexy image. I've always been attracted to a well dressed woman on many levels. If they only know because I want to look like them a lot more than wanting to be with them. I know myself how long it takes to get ready to go out so, I've always been tolerant about that. In fact many of the GG's I've been involved with has really liked that about me (a good reason for a GG to appreciate us).

I also agree with that women ages 30-50 are the most attractive. It seem like they've transitioned from being a girl into being a beautiful woman.

[Pat]

In my teens and twenties it was all hormonal "that chick is hot" but thankfully we grow out of that (at least thinking that way ALL the time).

Yeah, now that I'm older, I see a pretty girl and think, "Wow. I'll bet she has a hot Mom...."

[Melissa18]

Hi Rachel,
That's how it's been for me my whole life. I've always been more interested in how she put her ensemble together, it was never a way to get her to bed!
I was always observeing girls/ women and what they were wearing and wondering how it would look on me, from her hairstyle, make up to her dress sense.
My brothers and friends would always be talking about how pretty/ beautiful that girl was and how they would love to hook up with her, but I never had that lust, it was always about what they were wearing?
I'm not gay, I married with kids, it's just the way im wired?
Adelaide