Friends

[Janelle_C]

As a adult I never had a lot of close male friends. I never could relate to adult men. When my wife and I would meet a couples, I wanted to be her friend not his. I always felt like the odd one out, stuck in the middle. And now going on one year fulltime in August. I am blessed to still have these friends that are couples. My wife is closer to the women and I don't do things with the men. I don't know what I thought would change, but other than me being sooooooo much happier and I really am. Not much has changed I still feel the odd one out. I have made new friends witch is really nice. When I was coming out I was so afraid of who I might lose in my life I never thought I would make new friends. I'm just wondering how this relates to other people here.
Just wanting some other thoughts Janelle

[Persephone]

"Make new friends but keep the old
The one is silver and the other is gold
Thats the wisest thing ive been told
Make new friends but keep the old
The one is silver and the other is gold"
-- old Girl Scout song

The weave of old friendships, new friendships, changes in who we are, can all get very complex.

After a while your life can be made up of three kinds of folks; ones who only have ever known you in your past life, ones who only know you in your present life, and ones who bear the burden of having known you in both. The ones who have remained with you through the changes are the ones who bear the biggest burden.

Some will fall by the wayside and will be missed.

With others, as you indicated, your relationship can become more complex.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[KellyJameson]

In general women have always been very comfortable with me because I'm very non-threatening to them and understand them at a very deep level. I learned to not always let them know this because it sometimes made them anxious that I could see into them.

Most men would avoid me, more because I looked to "female" to them without "being female" so the mixed signals while attracting some men sexually would put off the rest.

I'm not a dramatic person with hand movements or emotionally expressive so it was not how I acted but how I looked that was a problem for them.

I actually like men and in many ways prefer their company over women because they are often not as complex in "How they attempt to fulfill their emotional needs"

Men are easy as long as you do not threaten their identity which of course was hard for me to avoid doing by my very existence

The closes relationships I have ever had where I could say without question I loved this person was with men and I have never loved a woman that deeply because women are to similar to me and it was the differences that created the love.

A transsexual makes people uncomfortable because we challenge their identities.

Men and women find much of their identity through the opposite sex so when you are not "one or the other" ( as how they experience you) it affects what is usually operating smoothly under the surface for most people and they experience discomfort while not exactly understanding why.

Your relationship with "gender" as your relationships with men and women will change according to how you affect their identity now that you are living full time and "in this change" you will change as how you think of and relate to men and women.

While "inside gender dysphoria" you are a victim of the power of gender identity but as or once you transition you will than be in a unique position to understand this power which goes largely unnoticed and unexamined by most people (unless it is causing them discomfort as confusion and out of this confusion anxiety)

It is like sitting up in the sky and looking down and understanding everything because you see everything but that only happens once you are out of the pain "by living your identity".

Being transsexual is a terrible ordeal but it does come with its gifts.

I urge you to go out into the world of men because they will enrich your life but move slowly and be very alert to how you "affect them"

Do not take this personally but simply that they are caught in a type of "un-enlightenment" concerning the workings of their own minds.

Look for men that are creative, artistic and comfortable in their own skins.

In my opinion it is not good to only associate with women because men will bring balance into your life.