Almost Outed Yesterday

[Ava Tryptyk]

So, yesterday evening, I was preparing to go to a munch that I was organizing (for those who didn't see my other thread, munches are informal get-togethers at restaurants for BDSM enthusiasts). I attend most munches en femme (in "vanilla", ordinary girl clothes, not BDSM fetish attire), and yesterday was no exception. So I was in my apartment, fully dressed with my makeup and wig, and decided that before my ride came, it would be good to stop by the ATM near my grocery store (just a couple minutes' walk) and grab some cash. Well, on the way down, I saw on the sidewalk across from me two other graduate students whom I know quite well (we are all teaching assistants who work together in the same department). I recognized them, but I don't think that they saw me or recognized me, partially because I quickly (but not too obviously) turned in the other direction and walked off to the side so that my face would not be in view. At that part I was not far at all from my apartment building, and those two graduate students do know where I live, so if my "disguise" had been just a bit worse, they may have recognized me. There is, of course, the chance that they did recognize me and just didn't say anything, but I doubt it. I saw one of those students today (I was in guy mode today) and we had a conversation, and she didn't mention seeing me or hint that she saw me. So she either didn't see me or she is just being very tactful.

Now, I am friendly with these people and neither of them seem to be homophobic (or transphobic) people at all, but I just don't yet feel like I want to be "out" to them. I do, however, feel that I will inevitably be out to a fair amount of people, though. I live in a medium-sized town and I don't have a vehicle or a driver's license, so I walk or take the bus everywhere I go, unless someone is giving me a ride to/from a specific place. Going to neighboring towns just for the sake of avoiding people I know is not an option; I have to deal with the possibility of running into people unless I want to stay in hiding (which I really don't want). I have run into students as well, and said hello to one of them while I was en femme (she was not a student in my section, but was taking the subject that I teach, so we know each other).

It's an exhilarating experience, and part of me really wants to be out and open about it, but I want to take it slow.

[Emi_]

Hopefully, this will be one of those funny memories that you will get to laugh at in the future. In my early days being out and about, I worried about running into people I knew all the time - and it was like you, not because I feared the outing but because I just didn't feel it was time to be open with everyone. I used to say that, at first, I feared running into my mother while shopping at the mall; later, as I gained confidence as a girl, I worried about running into my mom in the ladies' room at the mall.

[Ava Tryptyk]

It is indeed a funny memory, I am already laughing about it now even though it was slightly scary at the moment. I am already very confident as a girl when I am out with friends (I regularly go out en femme with the BDSM crowd and when I am with them I have pretty much no anxiety), though when it is just me on my own I don't have other people to distract me and at times I fall victim to nervous thoughts. Honestly if I had been walking along that sidewalk and I was with a few of my BDSM friends, I may have even had the confidence/guts to walk up to those two graduate students and say "Hey!", very casually. I think that as a girl I just get a heightened amount of energy and confidence when I am near other people who are cool with me.

I would feel a little weird running into someone I knew in the ladies' room, but that's mainly because I have a whole different kind of anxiety about ladies' rooms and the legality of someone like me using them.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sveta, The only way to avoid this is to not go out dressed.

[Ava Tryptyk]

That's not an option for me, I absolutely need to be out and about! Even if I run into people unexpectedly, it feels much better than staying at home (which gets boring).

[Marcelle]

Hi Sveta,

I have run into a very close friend while dressed by accident and he did not recognize me and if he did he kept it well hidden. I find for the most part while we may get read as CD not many acquaintances are out searching for their friends "en femme" and if the interaction is quick they probably don't even notice the CDer let alone you.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

Sveta,
I think the students already know and they probably do not think it is an issue.

Comments would have been exchanged between themselves when they have seen you but other than that it seems like a non issue.

I have exchanged comments about others sexuality but it is no more than a statement of fact like someones religion or skin colour.

[Wiccle]

If you're worried, don't go out en f, or go out with things under, or take a change-bag. Also be wise as to times of week to go out.

[Pacefurther]

If the avatar is yourself... I am pretty you have done a awesome job... But like what other member suggested. Cding underdress to avoid possible recognition.

Or go to a distance place,...even being made, still wont't affect your normal life. :D