Courage vs. strength

[Brandi Lesalle]

I am feeling very conflicted right now. I am proud of myself for coming as far as I have in the few months since I told my wife. I recently bought some items that i had previosly only dreamed of and Iwant to share them but still cannot.bring myself to share them with her. I was brazen enough to walk into a store in broad daylight not caring who saw me but I can't bring my self esteem up enough to be proud of me in front of her. Has anyone else felt this way? And how did you handle it?

[Jaclyn]

Hello Brandi
I recently told my wife about my dressing. I didn't have any problem showing her. I just did it in small baby steps. First was panties and nightgowns. After she got used to that i tried some makeup for the first time and even though i didn't do so well I went right out and asked what she thought. She said I looked good but I think she was just trying to be nice. Next I bought my first wig and put it on and showed her. There was a lot of small steps like shaved leg and pretty much everywhere else, painted toe nails and my forms. I did all these things individually so we'd get used to it together. Now she see's me in different stages of dress all the time and is used to it and I'm used to being around her dressed.
I don't know if this helps you or not. This is how i introduced Jackie to my wife and it worked for us.

Jackie

[Beverley Sims]

It is something you will overcome with time.
Always show consideration to your wife in the process.

[Rachelakld]

Mine has seen me in full girl mode 2 or 3 times, but I use my male voice when talking with her. Normally I just walk around the house in leggings and t-shirt, but often have to Man Up for her to keep things balanced.

[Marcelle]

Hi Brandi,

When I first came out to my wife and dressed fully for her the first time it was a bit of surreal moment not to mention a complete horror (make-up wise) . . . she was a good sport but still could not contain a slight smile over my clownish make-up (she wasn't being mean just caught her off guard). It did take awhile to get comfortable around her in various "girl modes" but now it is not an issue. You have to remember, while you might be a bit bolder in public you have no real vested emotional interest in these people so you are more likely not to care. This is your wife and to her you are a man and she will see you as a man. So it is not uncommon that your guy brain will be a bit conflicted allowing your wife to see in a bra and undies. You will get there . . . it just takes time. I would discuss it with your wife "Sweetie I bought X and was wondering how you would feel seeing me in it".

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brandi, I think that your embarrassment is part of the problem , How does your wife feel about your dressing.

[sometimes_miss]

After my wife found out, and said she was ok with it (while we were seeing a therapist), I still avoided her seeing me dressed in girl clothes. When she asked why, since she already knew, I told her I was embarrassed about it. She told me I should be. That forever ended the discussion. I simply went back to never discussing it, or dressing up in front of her.

[Michellegryl]

I came out to my wife before we were married and was scared to death that she would not marry me if she saw me in a dress. I think the most important thing for me at that time, was for me to accept who I was and not feel embarrassed by who I was. I started slow with her and slowly added to things until I had the whole look. She was amazing and very understanding and supportive. I think going slow and showing respect for her is very key. I agree with Isha about the communication and gauging her feelings. Ultimately though you have to be comfortable with who you are and the strength of your relationship.
Michelle

[Suzanne F]

Brandi
It takes a little time to get there. With every new challenge you face you will gain confidence. Remember that you are taking steps to be the real you, at least to show a part if the real you. When I focus on the joy I have inside I can go anywhere or do anything I want as Suzanne. Keep your head up!
Hugs
Suzanne

[Teresa]

Brandi this thought crossed my mind not so long ago, I only shop in drab but you tell them quite openly that you're shopping for yourself, I've only been seen by SAs in shoes and boots but they soon slip into selling mode even to the point when they tell how good they look.
So the SA has seen you and maybe some customers and you've dealt with it but the wife not happened yet !!

[Brandi Lesalle]

Thank you ladies for all your kind advice... it is just tough to feel so proud of yourself and have to be in a dadt situation