Do you consider yourself an independent person?

[Millie.Graham]

Tinkerbell-GG's post got me thinking. Do you consider yourself a leader, a follower, or an independent person?

My wife and I have had this conversation many times as we examine ourselves, our friends, and our children. We have noticed that there tends to be people who are natural leaders, most people tend to be followers who need acceptance from their peers and will usually never drift to far from whatever mold they have found comfortable for themselves, and then there are people like my wife and I who tend to be more independent. Now I am not judging anybody in any of those categories. I don't consider somebody being in one category or another any more or less valid than any other. It is just the way people are and in fact like everything else it usually tends to be more of a continuum that distinct categories.

Anyway, back to the question? Do crossdressers tend to fall more into the independent category?

I think my independence is to some extent related. I am not a crossdresser because I am independent, I think my independence was in part born out of my crossdressing. As I said in Tink's thread, I am not a rebel. But I have learned through life that I don't need other people's approval to be me. I am who I am, I value my friend ships greatly, but my existence is not predicated on their approval.

-Millie

PS: Still new here, hope I didn't offend anybody, still trying to get my bearings sorted out in conversations. I am not much of an extrovert... :)

[Christen]

Well, I'm Sagittarius, so apparently that makes me rather independent. On the other hand I'm lazy, that sort of makes me a follower. My Myers, Briggs personality test put me in the Introvert, Mediator sort of quadrant. But I can be a show pony too.
All of which means, Millie, that I am, sometimes, maybe.

Christen x

[Kate Simmons]

Many folks tend to want to fit a certain mold or in a tight little box of definition. Not for me. I have always been myself. and am always re-inventing myself. If that goes out of others' realms of control, so be it. Even when it comes to CDing I have to be my own person and not who and what others may expect me to be.:battingeyelashes::)

[Vickie_CDTV]

Independent, absolutely (and introverted as well.)

[Marcelle]

Hi Millie . . . no offence taken here and I believe your question is fair game and not out of place :). By virtue of my job and my position I would have to say I gravitate to a leadership role which crosses over into my personal life. Not saying I am the world's greatest leader or a natural leader but if I see a vacuum in a time of strife I will fill it if needed (a by product of my military training). However when you speak of independence I believe you are really alluding to "self-confidence" in ones own self. Independence implies not needing any one person, being able to go it alone sort of speak. However, if you are confident in yourself and don't care what others think you can still be one of the crowd (follower) or a leader. Not saying you are not an "independent person" just saying it sounds more like "confidence" is what you are describing.

Hugs

Isha

[CrossJess]

I don't know really, never really thought about it as someone who's always dressed as a girl I'm not sure, I own my own business, don't take any crap from any one or give a crap what anyone thinks of me and when it comes to doing things, what I don't know how to do I would rather teach my self than ask someone. so does that make me independent?... yet at the same time I still like the feeling of being protected and made to feel safe by my bf as he is very protective of me:o, usually hardcore independent people can handle them selves and dont need anyone to look after them or anyone in general but I could never be that way

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Millie, I'm just a guy that dresses as a lady and enjoys it it's something that's been a part of me for 67yrs.
no labels needed.

[Raychel]

I guess I would fall in the Independent category as well, Not really a leader, but not a follower either.

[Karen kc]

I am me, very independant

[CarlaWestin]

I've always had to be independant and a leader. And every good leader knows that there are times when it is prudent to step back and let momentun drive things.

[Allisa]

If you mean independent as following a different drummer than yes I am very independent, always have been, maybe a by product of the sixties and seventies, allthough at times I have been called on to be a leader and a" team player" and can fill that roll but allways independent. I like to think that CDers are unique for a better category.

Al(Lisa)

[Jodi]

Very independent. When my wife advised me 15 years ago that she wanted a divorce, my response was to not let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. I don't need someone to wait on me. I can do all that needs to be done to manage me and my home.

I am also a leader.

Jodi

[Nikki A.]

We like to and choose to wear women's clothing. I'd say we're pretty independent or at least march to our own drummer. Leader or follower that's all in how you handle dressing.

[Wildaboutheels]

Well, you are right about one thing. Most people ARE followers and are quite easily led. NGC's Brain Games had an entire episode devoted to this and as usual had several different experiments to back it up. It's basic Human Behavior likely going back multiple tens of thousands of years - strength in numbers. The term "sheeple" IS accurate but it's natural behavior for most folks and not a knock in any way.

Someone once said "Either lead, follow or get out of the way" or something close. I'd prefer not to lead or follow but would rather listen, watch and observe which is the only way to learn anything. I'm not just OK, with rowing alone, I prefer it especially if there is room in the boat for my 4 legged SO.

I think what you will find, [given enough time here] is that the "full dressers/presenters'" are far more likely to be followers than those who make no attempt to "pass as a woman". You are also likely to see that most who come to the Forum will usually adopt the general Forum "attitude" on most things regardless of where they are when they arrive.

No right/wrong/better or worse to any of it, since it's not against the law. It's simply a matter of CHOICE.

I think being independent makes CDing far easier. It translates into NOT basing your entire CDing "joy" [for those who choose to go out "dressed"] on how others will SEE you and/or what "they" will THINK.

[Simone_40]

I am definitely a Leader. All the Lemmings keep following me, but I STOP at the Cliff, and sadly watch them go over the Cliff! It makes me cry.

Seriously- there is only one person who can make yourself happy: YOU. The older I get, the more I do not care what others 'think' about me. I am quite content with myself now, and I do what makes Simone happy.
"The Pursuit of Happiness" :http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2146449,00.html

[Beverley Sims]

Independence has been bred into me as I am a bit private when traveling.
Led a "gay" social life once.

That was until the gay community commandeered the word. :)

[VeronicaBea]

I am independent. I had a saying for a long time: I won't lead, I won't follow, and I won't get out of the way. I will comply a little more often than I used to, just to make things easier, but I leave the option to invoke my independence at any time.

[MissTee]

A leader, and I am very independent.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I would say that an independent is one who is not a leader. They don't want the responsibility of worrying about the followers. And they are not a follower, either because they don't take commands well or being bossed around.

I consider mysel an independent, lone wolf so to speak.

I've always believed that I "taken the road less travelled" professionally, socially, and personally.

However, when action is required, I don't go for a flaking maneuver; I make a head on assault.