Out and About around Children

[Farrah]

I've been out once, and I never saw any children, not up close at least. I work with children, and I know that their mouths do not have filters. They pretty much say whatever comes to mind. I know I'm going o go out eventually and Its possible that I may have this experience. So, my question is, have any of you ever had a close encounter of this kind, or do you try to avoid them as much as possible?

[Ava Tryptyk]

I don't really enjoy being around children in guy mode, and I likewise don't enjoy being around them en femme. If I am en femme and am about to go to, say, the grocery store, and there are children there, that won't stop me, but I wouldn't knowingly go to any place very popular with children (like a Chuck E. Cheeses or something like that) either in guy or girl mode.

[AllieSF]

I have seen and interfaced with kids many times. I would worry less about the innocent children and more about the sometimes challenging teenagers and those few uneducated and showing it adults. I like kids and talk to them when I can in both modes.

[Tracii G]

Little kids are great don't worry at all.
I was at a local park and was coming out of the ladies room and an I'm guessing 6 year old girl was walking towards the bathroom with her Mom and the girl said ma'am is the girls bathroom on the right or left?
I said on the left sweetie and she and her Mom said thanks so much and went around on the left side.
At the same park I was under a tree on a bench reading a book and some little girls were playing frisbee and a frisbee landed on the bench next to me.
One of the little girls said sorry ma'am.I told her no problem have fun and threw it back to her.
She caught it and ran back to her friends saying "that lady is nice maybe we can get her to play too".
Just act like a lady and they will see you as one.

[heatherdress]

Children, especially young children, are usually accompanied by parents.

Parents with children are very protective, in general. A good behavior. That will often result in greater scrutiny of people around their children. If you do not want to be noticed, analyzed closely or "read" - avoid children.

[Marcelle]

Hi Farrah,

I have not had a lot of interaction with children but you are right in that they don't operate with filters. I was waiting in line at the grocery store when a small child turned around and looked at me got a bit of funny look on her face and then exclaimed to her mother "Mommy I think that lady is a boy". It took everything I had not to burst out laughing as it was so innocent. The mother apologized but I told her not to worry about it.

My take on children is if they come up to me and say hi, I will be polite and say hi back. However I am cognizant that not all parents may feel comfortable so I normally look for parents close by and take my cues from them. If the parent looks disturbed (has happened) I normally say "I think you mommy is looking for you sweetie" then go about my business.

Hugs

Isha

[Rachelakld]

I love children, yesterday a dad was taking a photo of his son in the normal boyish pose at a fountain, so I had a quick joke with mum about boys being boys, the big boy aka - dad and little boy both just gave me a sheepish grin - like busted!

Sky Tower in the glass bottom lift, I had about 12 children around me and was trying to encourage them to stand on the glass with me, their parents all had big smiles, even got involved is some art work with some.

Non of these things would I have done if I was in man mode.

Kids are fun

[CrossJess]

I seem to be a homing becon for kids more so little girls, what i wear is quite bright and wear a lot jingley gold bits and the girly girls chat to me, lol one girl said to me once "are you a queen" lol i laughed so hard and so did her parents i just replied "yes kind of lol", kids are funny and it dont worry me as i like kids they are awsome and parents dont seem to worry, one look at me and they know im gay i think there is something about a very fem gay guy that makes you look totally harmless which i am i mean jeez i wouldnt get a wink of sleep if i killed a fly, i get on well with the mothers too so any situation where kids come up to me is fine

[sandra-leigh]

When I started dressing in public, I was concerned about the reaction of children, and also about the reaction of parents if I was near.

I still, years later, deliberately stay a bit distant from children who have nearby parents, in situations where I can easily avoid the children. For example if an obvious shortcut through some grass would take me near children then I will be sure to stay far enough away that it is clear that I am not "approaching" the children. I do not know to what degree parents interpret me as "harmless", so I practice "defensive wandering": the best way to survive an incident is to avoid the possibility.

Here in Winnipeg, I do not recall any incidents at all in which a parent drew a child back because I was dressed / TG / TS. Just the normal summoning a child back for having wandered too far away, or telling a child to be careful where they were going, or "move aside so that they can get through". The same things as you would expect in response to any non-threatening person.

I have had little reaction from children. They know I'm there, they don't run away from me, they don't hide from me. They glance at me, rarely with any particular interest -- just looking around the way kids do. And they continue doing whatever they were doing, or they turn their attention to something else. I'm just not much interest to them. A small number of times, a child has turned and looked directly at me for a moment, as if trying to figure me out. And then they turned to other things. A one-minute wonder.

A small number of times in grocery stores (twice that I remember), a child has asked their mother whether I am a man or a lady. One of the two times the mother didn't even bother to look over, seemingly concerned only that the child was dawdling. However, that time there just might have been an element of the mother moving away in discomfort. The other time... my memory is fuzzy; I think the mother briefly apologized.

On occasion, mothers with young children will refer to me as "the lady" ("let the lady by"). It could be that in the earlier days some said "the man"; I don't get referred to much one way or the other.

There is still a bit of me that is on the defensive against questioning children and maybe even being asked to explain. In practice it is a non-problem, around here.

[ReineD]

I was waiting in line at the grocery store when a small child turned around and looked at me got a bit of funny look on her face and then exclaimed to her mother "Mommy I think that lady is a boy".

This is our experience too. Not only do children not have filters, they stare a lot more than adults do, while their parents are busy attending to the matters at hand. This is why kids read CDers faster than adults do. We aren't concerned about frightening any young child, they would simply point out that the "lady" is a man, but we choose to avoid the embarrassment of having this pointed out in a particularly loud voice which can sometimes happen with children.

For this reason, we choose to avoid family restaurants and such. Once we were in a department store. The escalator was closed for service and the only way down was the elevator. We waited for a mother and daughter to go down first, and we caught the next elevator.

But I agree with Allie, by far the rudest people are teenagers. We had a car full of teenage boys pass us by once, (we had walked by the boys as they were sitting on a bench about 10 minutes before. When they passed by they recognized us and one yelled, "You transsexual freak!!". Not pleasant.

As to adults, most won't notice because they will barely glance at you. But, if their eyes rest on you for a moment, chances are they will pick up on something. Some of the people who pick up on the male cues won't know for sure, while others will figure it out. Of the people who figure it out, some will have a "whatever" attitude, some will be genuinely curious, others will think it funny and maybe point, quietly chuckle, or whisper if they are with someone else, while others will clearly be disturbed and their facial expressions will betray their non-approval.

Just as there is a wide range in motives to the people who crossdress, there is a wide range to people's ability to read you and their various reactions.

[Laura Collette]

I was en femme waiting for a train, and the teenage boys on the opposite platform called out "hey mister!" I glanced their way, thereby revealing my gender, and nothing more was said. But it did leave me with a sense that the teenagers have some kind of radar combined with an absence of social grace that can be a problem for us girls.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Farrah, It's the teenage girls that you have to stay clear of, :daydreaming: Nothing gets past them.

[Princess Chantal]

I have no troubles and worries with children, especially when I dress up in my victorian dresses. Seems like when I do the outings with the big hoop dresses, I tend to be approached more by children and parents.

[RenneB]

Love the term "defensive wandering".. I employ the same. When out and about, I never get between a momma bear and her cubs...

In general, when my eyes do met with a youngster (less that 5 or 6 years old) I just smile and go on my way. They do have a stare factor though. They'll look right through you.

Teens, I tend to give them a wide berth. I really don't care for another "OMG it's one of them" comments....

Renne.......

[Beverley Sims]

Avoid children.
I have a teenage girl radar I use extensively.

I am sure it's not the appearance that gives me away, so it must be the perfume.

[sherri]

I once went with a gurlfriend to a TJ Max, something I don't normally have the nerve to do en femme. No one seemed to pay us much attention as we were browsing the racks, but as we were leaving a sweet little girl about 8 years old opened the door for us. As we passed by I looked down to thank her and just as our eyes met I could see the light bulb go on as she blurted "Oh my gosh!". Priceless. :-)

[Rogina B]

Hi Farrah, It's the teenage girls that you have to stay clear of, :daydreaming: Nothing gets past them.
My experiences have shown me that "if you look the part",don't flinch[act undisturbed from being scrutinized],and generally behave like your normal self,the kids lose interest in a microsecond..They assume you are like this all the time,and there is a growing population of young people that may just think you are "special for being you"..If not,any comments may just toughen your skin till next time...a few dozen hotel elevators and you won't ever be fazed again!

[KaceyR]

Hi Farrah, It's the teenage girls that you have to stay clear of, :daydreaming: Nothing gets past them.

I agree. At stores I've seen young ones look at times..some like they're trying to decide what they're seeing.. Others like adults don't pay attention.

But last time at Macys at the MAC counter I got a "omigod is that a guy??" Easily hearable response from one teen girl to another.. Didn't say anything just smiled, made my purchase and went on.
Technically, first time clocked...(well, that I knew of it anyways).

They've got the attitude to do and say whatever they want and they do :)

[Lorileah]

Most of the time children pay no notice of me. Last night however a young girl maybe 8 or so stared at me as I walked bt even turning to keep me in view. I thought she was just shocked or maybe it bothered her to see a TG. Until I got back in the car and realized my hair was standing up like Alfalfa's in the Little Rascals.

[Michelle (Oz)]

No problems with children or teenage girls ... to date. Children respond well to happy people and mothers like to have an appreciative audience. I do agree that mothers are protective so care required.

Teenage girls are quickest to pick me but my experience has been that they best understand the attraction of being female and are simply satisfied with their power of observation.

[Wildaboutheels]

I've had extensive experience with both. Kids are easy to win over. Just give them very wide eyes and a hand over your mouth like you have just seen something amazing and you will get a big smile from them every time. Kids are cool because even at a young age, some are far more confident than others and it is quickly obvious. I am guessing these are the ones who will grow up to be "leaders" of some kind.

I've never had any issues with teenage boys. Girls are a different matter [and it's rare] but usually ONLY if there are 3 or more in a group. There are several ways to deal with/educate them beyond the scope of my typing inclination/skills. PM me, if interested.

[Debra Russell]

......was at a park dressed and driving my Corvette when after returning from the ladies room when a group of children gathered 'round to admire it and ask questions (how fast ect.ect.) we all talked, girls and boys ages pbly 9-12 a very pleasant experience and none were the wiser - very focused on the car.....................Debra

[Vickie_CDTV]

I don't have a "problem" with children, but I don't talk to stangers' children en drab or en femme; in this day and age of "stranger danger" vigilance (where everyone thinks there is a male pervert around every corner) it is not worth it. I never, ever go into a ladies room en femme if there are children (or minors in general) inside, no way.

[Alice Torn]

Vickei, So right, about today's "stranger danger" I think my next door neighbors saw mw come home about 4 yrs ago one night dressed up, and the mom, nor the teenage boys will return a "Hi". I live alone, and almost never have visitors. I am sure they think of my as the tall loner pervert next door. My first full day out dressed, in 2005, i was walking around Aberdeen Washington, when, i saw some teens come my way. I tood a right on the nest sidewalk, and heard OMG OMG!!I think it was girls.

[Eryn]

I used to worry about children and teens but I have had very few problems with either. Children like friendly people and if a little one stares at me I give him or her a smile, a little finger wave and a "hi there!" Teens tend to ignore fiftysomething women and the few times I've felt stared at across a room I simply look back and smile at them. Teens are as insecure as anyone and if they sense my confidence they tend to move on to other things rather than engage in behavior that might embarrass them..

Yesterday after a car show in Beverly Hills I stepped onto a small elevator with a couple and their 3-year old boy who was clutching a couple of toy dinosaurs. He was staring at me. That's a worst case scenario, being in a small space with a small child. I just look at him, smiled, and said "what kind of dinosaurs do you have?" I didn't get an answer, but his attention went to his dinosaurs!

[Kate T]

I generally don't act specifically differently in girl vs male mode so the way I treat children is the same as if I was in male made i.e. I don't specifically try and interact but if they directly interact with me I will interact back.

One time I was in girl mode with my wife wandering in a shopping mall and a little girl took hold of my hand obviously thinking I was her mum. I just stopped and said "sorry sweetie, I'm not your mum, do you know where she is?". Her mum was literally right behind us and she apologised profusely to which I just replied "no worries".

[mechamoose]

So, being around children that are not your own?

My vote: be a counter example. Show them a confident person who doesn't fit the 'Duck Dynasty' view of the world.

Be you, be unashamed, and those kids will know something more than their parents knew how to tell them.

<3

- MM

[Hermana]

I underdress, usually in tight light tops and a contour cup bra which gives me a shapely bust. I guess I must have a knack of blending in to a crowd, because in spite of a visible bra outline under my top and the bumps, hardly anybody has given me a hard time. I do feel so comfortable stepping out as a man with a fem top half, that I suppose my demeanour is quite relaxed and normal and so I often don't draw attention to myself - just guessing about that...

There was one time I was walking through my suburban streets towards the local mall and although I am not sure now, I may have been wearing my coarse-weave black tight string vest over a beautiful black contour underwire patterned lace trimmed bra with a little gold medallion sewn between the cups. Black man-trousers and black man-shoes. As I neared the mall I heard a lot of yelling from the second floor car park: it was about 50 or so early-to-mid teen girls, and they had noticed me... Those alert sweeties were calling out to me, saying things like "Nice boobs mister" and "we approve mister" and giving me wolf whistles and the like. It was then I realised I had chosen to do my shopping just after school had got out for the day.

I couldn't help also noticing that all of the usual crowd of adults milling around the ground floor were trying hard to pretend they weren't watching me carefully to guage my reactions. I wanted to let the kids know I thought their calls were a pleasant way to engage with what they saw as a potentially interesting and harmless older man with a fun dress code, while at the same time I wanted the adults furtively watching to know I was a "regular" guy. So I never said a word, but I did put on a great show of waving cheerfully and enthusiastically to the kids, taking them all in with a big genuine smile that told them I liked their attitude, and carried on without breaking my brisk walk into the mall proper - and nothing more was said or done by kid or adult.

A few years later, I threw in my job and went to university to study for a BA at the age of 63. And I can tell you, in the university environment where any dress code goes, I got along just great with the older teen kids, male and female. I can only guess also that tthe girls saw me as a sort of benevolent eccentric grandfather figure, for they treated me so sweetly and with obvious approval - that is, many of them did. I just ignored the other sort of older girl teenager, you know, the ones who act like old people don't exist or think that "all men are perverts" and who scowl when something with legs that doesn't exist gets in their way. But with the good teen girls, it was so sweet, I couldn't help noticing that the ones in my lectures who wore the lowest cut tops and the sexiest bras with cleavage on display, eventually ended up sitting clustered all around me. How about that for a vote that I was seen as a nice safe albeit probably quirky man in my bra.

But I think we always need to be careful around young people.

Love

[Sarah Welch]

I remember that day as if it was yesterday.....