An Accidental Clue

[Laura Collette]

I posted an email recently to my brother who knows nothing about Laura, and mistakenly sent it out from my Laura mailbox. As you can imagine there was a bit of confusion since my brother knew from the content it was from me but could see the female name in the header. Moreover the Collette part of my name is a family name and not that common.
I told him I'd created that email account in order to communicate with companies that might send spam so I could delete it later if necessary. My brother seemed to accept that, and said nothing further.
He's coming for a visit with his grown son in late July (they live 600 miles away). He's a retired social worker and family counselor who has no doubt had clients who were CDs. He and I are very close and I treasure our relationship; we email one another every day. I know that unnecessary disclosure to family is not recommended in general, and I'm very very grateful I never came out to our late parents... but if this subject comes up during his visit I'm on the fence about a candid discussion. His son's acceptance I'm not so sure about.
Have any of you been in this quandary? I can stop underdressing for a long weekend if it comes to that. But candor to my brother is worth something too.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm not sure what underdressing has to do with anything (like anyone would know what our undies look like unless one is sporting a bra). That said, I'd treat this like what I have said about my friends. If they ask me anything point blank and hit the target, I will engage in conversation that discloses who/what I am. Otherwise, they have no need to know. Even if they circle the drain, they'd better hit the target if there is any expectation that I will open up.

In your context, if your brother presses the issue, see how close he gets and if he crosses the line that you have predetermined, then consider opening up with honesty. But remember, once the genie is out, theres no putting her back. Be sure you can live with the fallout.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Laura, Be sure to do a last minute walk through and make there no clues laying around.

[RenneB]

I've done something like this before. Leaving little traces of Renne around the house. A false nail here, a pair of knee high boots there. I think it's a part of me that wants to get out of the closet and just lay it on the line. The other part of me, says no way ....

But then again, I've heard it here before, it's not a matter of IF we get "caught", it's really a matter of WHEN.

My advise would be to brush it away for now and wait for time of your choosing to reveal ....

Renne......

[sometimes_miss]

You can say that you created a female ID for computer game use. It's pretty common for males to take it just a bit easier, and befriend quicker, females in games. I did this in a particular online war game and found a significant number of males quickly develop a protective behavior towards me. While I know a lot of women who would absolutely hate that I did this, I also know that GG's often use every advantage they can in life, hoping to balance out what they perceive to be preferential treatment for men in other areas of every day life.

[Beverley Sims]

Laura,
I would see how it pans out.
If the right situation arises tell the story, but otherwise let it go.
Life may just be easier that way.

[lingerieLiz]

Having false names and emails is not unusual on the internet. Don't bring it up and he probably won't either. Why would you tell him? He lives 600 miles away and doesn't have a need to know. If you tell him and he does accept or his son doesn't then you have a problem. Our lives have enough problems why look for one.

[mechamoose]

This may be what is referred to as a 'happy accident'.

You opened a door, hon. Even though I know you didn't mean to. He is your brother, give him some credit for loving you regardless.

If he accepts you, so will his boy. He/they may not understand all of it now, but they will.

Try your best to be honest & open. Things will work out.

<3

- MM

[Gardener]

I would be very surprised if your brother had not wondered about the meaning of the email from you. If he raises the matter face to face then it sounds to me that you will not be able to bluff your way through with total confidence. I think you should have in your mind how you would respond if he asks you anything. Should you say anything for free? I think not unless you want to do that, it does not feel as though consciously it has been important for you to do that up to now.

[Roxie]

I think if I was in your shoes (heels) I would have to consider telling him,at least part of it. You seem to be close to your brother and he's been a social worker so there is nothing he hasn't heard. I know that Roxie has to have a talk with her sister,we are pretty close and I'm sure she'll still love me.Now if your not to sure about his sons reaction ,may have to find another time. I think this type of talk should be a one on one thing ,your brother may need some time to wrap his head around this .But Im beginning to realize that being a CDer not the end of the world.Ya: anyone can go back in forth on this .but Truth in my book is the trump card . I hope this may help you some as everyone looks at this different Just my thought , Hugs
Roxie