bi-sexuality, Transexual

[transfeminate]

someone raised these points and as someone who surprised himself recently by discovering I like the idea of being a woman, I realise I also have to ask myself this question too. I think I could possibly be bi-sexual in the right circumstances. What do others think?

[Mink]

I think you very well could!

[KaylaRoxx]

i think that crossdressing doesnt really have much impact on sexuality. i consider myself to be perfectly straight, but at one point in my life i felt the same as you do now, that if i want to dress like a girl that it's only logical that i must be bi. this mostly came from the fact that most of the compliments i got on my looks were from other CDers, and i felt that no GG would ever find a CDer attractive. boy was i wrong. I think youre attracted to whoever youre attracted too, how you like to dress doesn't make a difference. i even tried getting with a guy once, but realized that i wasn't attracted to men when i just couldn't go through with it.

[Candice Mae]

Although I can not speak for everyone, gender and sexuality are two different unconnected identities. Just because you identify as a female does not mean you have to like or should like men, and vice versa if you identify as a male.

Truly if one is bisexual their gender they present will have no effect on their sexuality. As you are attracted to both genders it does not matter which gender you present as.

[mechamoose]

While gender identity and sexuality have nothing to do with each other, we *are* crossing/mixing roles when we CD.

There is more to it than that, but the direct answer to your question is YES.

- MM

[Kate Simmons]

That is something that you would definitely have to determine for yourself.:)

[Teresa]

Your profile doesn't mention your age but I wouldn't get too hung up on it ! Our feelings do swing back and forth and sometimes we come to the wrong conclusions about our dressing. I've found the forum eventually lets you find your own level keep reading the threads even go back through some old ones, try not to be too overwhelmed by others we all have our own level !

[Roxie]

Right time,place ,person . Yea I could have a Bi -sexual encounter . Have it made it there yet ,not sure if I ever will. Something I don't set around and worry about .
Roxie

[lisatommy]

Not really sure? How I feel I was at a hotel party one weekend for cd's The Palms NJ. was at the pool swimming and drinking having a good time with all when one of the guys hat was there came on to me really hard I din't want to cause a fight because thats not how i am, one thing lead to the next I was kissing him and hee was feeing me up. It stoped at that not sure if I liked it or was it out of fear of geting beat up?

[DonnaT]

I've seen more than a few instances of a TG/CD being only attracted to women when drab and only to men when enfemme. Not sure that that meets the definition of Bi-sexual, but with no defined sexual orientation for this, bi-sexuality is the closest defined orientation.

[Mollyanne]

I am attracted to other cd'ers whom I feel have a mutual attraction to one another. Am I bi or gay???? Maybe, but I still dream about attaining my one wish and that is to become a woman or at least live the remainder of my life as one.

Molly

[Donnadcd]

... I still dream about attaining my one wish and that is to become a woman or at least live the remainder of my life as one.

Molly

This is EXACTLY the way I feel too

[Beverley Sims]

Certainly had some erotic thoughts about it.

Had a guy who was besotted by me.
Gave him a good time when I was young. :)

[KaceyR]

While my impression that sexuality and CDing aren't the same..
In my case it helped solidify things more for me.
Long story short.. I had slightly thought myself BI or Pansexual a half year or more before I started CDing.
I never did anything though on the sex side or relationship-wise to figure anything however.
Most recent/only relationship? 30 years ago...
So CDing started, along with other stuff in my life making me think things out further and it all just fit.

[Jorja]

There is only one way to find out if you like it both ways. Try it. If you like it, your Bi. If not, your not. Simple huh?

[Sissy_Michelle]

I think youre attracted to whoever youre attracted too, how you like to dress doesn't make a difference. i even tried getting with a guy once, but realized that i wasn't attracted to men when i just couldn't go through with it.

Kayla,
I believe you are so close to a real answer. I love women. I like the way they dress, move, react, and freedom that they totally take for granted. I don't dress fully and only under dress, however when I do "dress" I don't necessarily look for a guy; though more men than women are curious about transsexual and Crossdressers that will admit to it. You may not be attracted to a guy though that doesn't mean that they are not attracted to you. So does that mean if a handsome man starts hitting on you that you wouldn't appreciate the compliments and attention?
Curious? Not sure what would happen if a guy would hit on me, though if I found him / her attractive and they were nice, easy to speak with, who knows...

@--}-----

[Lorileah]

There is only one way to find out if you like it both ways. Try it. If you like it, your Bi. If not, your not. Simple huh?
Or "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't"?

Truthfully, you know who you are attracted to sexually, if you wonder you probably aren't. Trust me it looks better on paper

[shwana]

i love show pics of my self and for the bi thing i tried it be for dressing now i want it more often espcely with other cds dressing up brings out the other side of me

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi TF, If & When you get yourself figured out please let us know.

[Bryanne]

As someone who, in their youth had a bisexual experiment with a close friend -- who also dressed-- I can say that having an experience with another male, once when we both dressed, and once when only I dressed, that I would only be into it with either a GG, but not so much with another CD, and certainly not with another male. However, after these many years, I harbor no real regret in trying, as it confirmed many things.

[flatlander_48]

There was about 12 years between when I admitted to myself that I am bisexual and when I discovered crossdressing. I don't think there is any particular connection, except for this. I think my admission freed up my thinking to some degree such that it allowed the consideration of other possibilities. It probably would have also worked if the chronology were reversed.

[sometimes_miss]

One of the things about crossdressing is that we want to experience a lot of things as girls do; you'll see that in those who embrace cheerleading, want to buy wedding gowns, spend lots of time doing make up, enjoying doing traditionally female things while dressed in female clothes such as my own enjoyment of doing housework while dressed as a maid, as opposed to barely tolerating it while dressed as a guy. You even hear of guys here who say they would love to be pregnant and have a baby, and breastfeed, all female behaviors to the max. A related feeling is the desire to have sex like a girl does, and that would be, with a man. However, the desire to do it, and the actual experience of doing it, are two completely different things while you're still technically a guy. I can't speak for anyone else, but while the concept of being taken sexually, and the actual experience of having something quickly going in and out of my butt, do not in any way work out well. Nor does the fact that I find the male musky scent absolutely disgusting. So take it from there. If you're interested in trying male/male sex, whether while dressed as a guy or as a girl, give it a shot. You may like it, or not. There's only one way to find out. Just remember, no matter which way you end up, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

[Teresa]

Sometimes, I'm glad you posted that reply while I'm totally hetro and I only use the rear end for it's intended purpose , it may help many here that have the misconception that anal sex will make them the ultimate CDer, they should think very hard because living with it afterwards could mentally knock them right back with their Cding.

I guess the only ones that we openly accept using their rear ends are politicians are they usually talk out of them most of the time !!

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you have never had a same sex attraction before, chances are you never will, so I wouldn't worry about it. In the future if you are lonely and totally desperate and a GG is not available, it is plausible you might find yourself more "flexible", it is plausible. But, if you are not bisexual now, you are probably never going to be.

[Aprilrain]

I'm confused? What does liking the "idea" of becoming a woman have to do with sexuality, and what does any of it have to do with transsexuals?

[Ressie]

I think I could possibly be bi-sexual in the right circumstances. What do others think?

What would the right circumstances be? Seduced, drunk, drugged, forced? Some of us are curious but still not up to doing it. And I think saying "bisexual" in this sense is a euphemism. You're talking about sex with a man unless your only fantasy is a threesome with a man and a woman.

[Adriana Moretti]

alot of cd's become bi curious at some point, most arent though...I happen to be bi...but it has nothing to do with the clothes I am wearing, I have been with guys dressed,and in drab...and females too...i guess it depends on which way the wind is blowing...but thats me. For the other 99% its a curiousity or a fantasy and dosent go much further than that, i would even go as far to say its probably normal for gals to be curious.

[Tess]

I had my first crossdressing experience and first bisexual experience during the same few month period, when I was 12. They both became part of my life and they have both been totally separate, one not related to the other. Over time both progressed...now gay sexually and I'm at least entertaining the possibity that I might be trans, but they are still distinct and separate parts of me.

[flatlander_48]

alot of cd's become bi curious at some point, most arent though...

Yes, I would guess that is true. I think that wearing the clothes and assuming the role opens the doors to consider some other possibilities. We've always heard that under hypnosis we wouldn't do anything that we would not do consciously. The part of our brain that is the right-wrong engine is still active. I think that is how it is for crossdressers. Someone might see what a bisexual encounter might be like, but whether or not they include that as a part of who they are likely goes back to having a predisposition. If there is a predisposition, then you would likely have gotten to the same place eventually without crossdressing. Without the predisposition, an experiment wouldn't do much for you and life would return to how it was previously. The only difference being that you would have a specific data point.

[AmandaM]

I don't know, I still don't understand it. I tried being with a guy. Went all the way. Became mechanical, almost no desire there. After, I just didn't want to do it any more. Found out I wasn't gay. But then, when dressed, I could perform sexually "as a woman". So, I can't do it as a man, but I can as a woman? What does that mean? Idk. And yet, 2-3 times in my life, while in drab, a very good-looking man has locked eyes with me and I felt attracted to him. And yet, I never look at guys, not even good-looking ones. It just seemed to happen those 2-3 times. I still don't understand it. Maybe I'm about 1% bi. Or there is a "female sexuality" inside me as well as crossdressing. It's so confusing. Nevertheless, I love the GG ladies. Always.

[Jenny Miller]

While I don't think that sexuality and clothing choices are all that connected, I think that my cding has made me more aware of my bi-curiosity, if that makes any sense. Like when I'm in boy mode, its more analytic looking at attractive men and thinking things like "I get it" where as when I'm en femme the thoughts are more emotional and more like "Ooh, he's cute."

I think I'd be open to being with a guy but the circumstances would have to be pretty close to ideal in that I could get more into "the female role" and the guy would have to be respectful of me also. Basically, the conditions would have to be perfect and it's more than likely that it will stay in the realm of fantasy but life can be unpredictable so I haven't ruled it out :o

[transfeminate]

some fascinating answers to my thread and all very enlightening, thank you

[tman2001]

i think that most of us are bi-Curious it is just that we just don't come across the right times to act on them.

[Nadya]

One of the things about crossdressing is that we want to experience a lot of things as girls do; you'll see that in those who embrace cheerleading, want to buy wedding gowns, spend lots of time doing make up, enjoying doing traditionally female things while dressed in female clothes such as my own enjoyment of doing housework while dressed as a maid, as opposed to barely tolerating it while dressed as a guy. You even hear of guys here who say they would love to be pregnant and have a baby, and breastfeed, all female behaviors to the max. A related feeling is the desire to have sex like a girl does, and that would be, with a man. However, the desire to do it, and the actual experience of doing it, are two completely different things while you're still technically a guy.

I think that wondering what it's like to feel like a woman from different aspects is a natural thing to be curious. I don't find men attractive but the thought of something like that happening can be exciting.

[mechamoose]

You like what/who you like. A cool person is a cool person. If they like YOU, regardless you how you or they present, then they LIKE you.

We like "traditional" girl things.. ok. We have the 'wrong' junk' to go with that. Ok. Our interest in who we find attractive is a separate thing.

I appreciate a nicely formed person, male or female. I like an *interesting* person, regardless of how they identify.

I feel like a girl inside, right along side of my big male/beast self. We are both in here. I do the cooking, I'm the one with the fashion sense, I do the decorating, I'm the "Mom" to my kids. I express mostly female traits, while being a big, furry dude who enjoys wearing skirts more than pants.

By strict definition, I'm a bi/pan guy who is trans. I fix the drain, I change the tire, I do the curtains, I fret over matching clothes.

What are we? What are you? How do you define that?

- MM

[Lilli]

As someone before me said, I think you - and everone else - very well may be, but that is something that is worth finding out, isn't it?

I used to speculate about this a lot and then decided to try it out with someone who had been writing to me online for 2+ years. It went rather well. We met, I tried out my girly persona on him and he loved it. That was very interesting because it raised and solved another question: I did, as the parlance goes, go all the way on him, as if it was his birthday. I so much wanted to try it out. It left him very excited, me rather bored.

So am I bi? Well I didn't enjoy in any sexual way, what i was doing. So probably not.

Some weeks later I started to think of it as rather a cool thing to be able to do. "Cool" in the sense, that somehow it does fulfill my CD fantasies to the full, thought it didn't really excite me in the least when doing it.

So, no harm in trying.

The only thing that stays with me to worry about it, is that I think, that I might be a person who does not have a problem with doing it for another guy. And that is certainly what happened. But what the heck.

Leaves me - as before - free to do what I like. And that probably isn't doing guys.

Lilli

[Desirae]

I think a lot, dare I say many, of us here have had fantasies of being with a man or even another CD when dressed. I think, for the most part, it is only that, a fantasy. I, also, think most don't, or wouldn't, take it past the realm of fantasy. Only you will be able to determine whether you have genuine bi-sexual tendencies or if your dressing is the only impetus for these feelings you experience from time to time.

I've had these thoughts and feelings. I have never acted on them. As a matter of fact, in my youth, I had a couple male friends my age make "passes" at me. I was uncomfortable with each and our friendships ended. I've learned to never say never in life. I doubt that I would ever act on any of my fantasies, but, like I said, I won't say never. It would have to be some type of extraordinary circumstances, I believe, if it were ever to happen. If I had to give a probability of it happening, I would have to say it would be less than 1%.

[sometimes_miss]

The more posts I read here, the more I am convinced that most simply want the female 'experience' of being the passive partner during sex, again, not something that most straight women let us do, as they simply don't want the responsibility for the sexual act nor for our pleasure or their own, it's pretty much always going to be 'all on us' (perhaps one subconscious reason for crossdressing, the escape from that responsibility). And being the one with the penis, means that we can never really get away from the 'responsibility' for keeping an erection, no matter what is going on.

[mikiSJ]

Sure, why not! But be careful with your definitions, or you'll end up cubby holing yourself as 'pansexual' and no one wants to be that! :o

[AmandaM]

I wonder if the entire bi when dressed phenomenon is just an extension of being turned on by dressing. An extension of a fetish.

[hope springs]

Amanda, i struggled with the question of being bi. My fantasies while en femme defaulted to being with a guy. I knew i wasnt physically attracted to men, so why the persistent fantasy.?
Here is what i concluded. Women are drawn to men's masculine energy (define that however you wish). Its not the physical attraction but the concept of being taken, letting go and accepting what i call a submission of trust. Yu submit to being penetrated not from the idea of being the weaker sex but that you trust his "handling" of you will be mutually fullfilling. You default to letting him lead.
So for me the issue of bi fantasies is about allowing my femme side to to accept his dominance. Its my psyche giving permission to relequish control. Not about actual attraction. A similar non-male version of this concept could be a dominatrix. A trusting bond and then letting go of control to her will.

Edit: just saw Sometimes miss' post. I think her idea and mine are saying the same thing from a different angle.

[mechamoose]

The more posts I read here, the more I am convinced that most simply want the female 'experience' of being the passive partner during sex, again, not something that most straight women let us do, as they simply don't want the responsibility for the sexual act nor for our pleasure or their own, it's pretty much always going to be 'all on us'.

I would suggest that there is a large segment of "het" guys who enjoy the idea of a hungry, aggressive woman. I don't think it is about submission or passivity. I think it is more about 'roles' in the wider sense...

I have known many lesbian women who were plenty aggressive towards their 'target', and not having male bits didn't slow them down in the slightest.

- MM

[Kitty215]

If you think of yourself as a woman when dressed, thinking about a man doesn't seem odd. Do most feel they are a woman when dressed?

[HelenR2]

I remember a gay English comedian once saying that the difference between a heterosexual man and a bi-sexual man is about five pints of beer.

[CynthiaD]

Probably just wishful thinking on the gay comedian's part.

I admit that changing your presentation gender, even temporarily, has the potential for raising some interesting sexual issues, but sexual preference and perceived gender are still completely separate issues.

Part of the problem that some people have with this is the myth that everyone is obsessed with sex, and that we spend our lives drifting from one sexual encounter to the next. Some people are like this, but they're relatively rare. When I'm dressed, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. I wouldn't even say I'm asexual. It's just that I have a lot of other more important things to worry about.

[Laura J]

The idea of anything going in my anus repulses me. In any fantasies where I am with a man I have female equipment.

[tracigirl_tv]

alot of cd's become bi curious at some point, most arent though...

I'm in agreement w/ Adriana here. I often smile at those who declaim that there is no connection between CDing and sexuality. That may be true for many, or even most, but it's not true for me. My dressing was the impetus for my exploration of bisexuality, for which I'm very glad.

Enjoying this discussion!

:)

Traci

[Dianne S]

While gender identity and sexual preference are different things, I think it's a little bit of a stretch to imagine that they're completely unrelated. A year ago, I would never have believed I could be attracted to men. Now, however, after doing a lot of exploration of my gender identity, I'm a little surprised to find I am attracted to men. I do fantasize about being the female partner in sex, though I would never act on the fantasy as long as I'm in a committed relationship. For that matter, I'd never cheat on my wife with another woman, either.

[cdleesa]

I kind of went the other way (oo, er!)
I was getting the feeling more and more that I was bisexual and the focus of the adult material I was looking at sometimes strayed into submissive roles that included sissies and maids. From that point I started to explore the CD side of my apparent love for man-parts and there was my path to wanting to dress up. For me they are intrinsically linked.