Time to reclaim "masculinity"

[Kate T]

I was watching a show last night on television (I think it was called "Mansome") and I was disappointed at what was being described as masculine. Also following a couple of threads on this forum regarding what is feminine I worry that as an entire society we need to look at what we think is masculine.
Being masculine is NOT about being aggressive. Being masculine is being strong and protective.
Being masculine is NOT about beating everyone. Being masculine is about doing your absolute best and striving to do better all the time.
Being masculine is NOT about getting drunk with the boys at the bar. Being masculine is about being able to relax and have an enjoyable time with friends and family.
Being masculine is NOT about going away for alone time in your "man cave". Being masculine is about taking time for self reflection to improve yourself.
Frankly none of these things even requires male physical anatomy and certainly does not require a particular type of clothing. These things are about being good human beings.
Perhaps what we need to do is not try and make ourselves more "feminine" but redefine what society regards as "masculine".

[Alice Torn]

Thanks for sharing this. Food for thought. Maybe men need to shed the superman cpstumes, and women shed their Princess superwoman costumes.

[Marcelle]

Hi Adina,

All the points you made describe one type of person (male or female) Jerky douchebag comes to mind.

If a woman came up to me and asked me to teach her how to act masculine to be honest I could not even venture a guess on where to start. Masculine and feminine traits which get discussed here so often get to entangled with societal stereotypes (women - nurturing, homemaker, cook, cleaning / men - strong, silent, breadwinner, jock) that any attempt to define it would be moot. IMHO there is only a broad spectrum of human behaviors and emotions which we (both men and women) are capable of. Perhaps instead of us trying to define what being feminine or masculine means we should try and define what it means to be a good human being and shoot with that. I for one don't want to reclaim any masculinity or take on any femininity . . . I only want to be a decent person. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Confucius]

I agree with you 100%. Misandry, the hatred of males, is something that is socially acceptable. The media portrays males as being self-centered, slobs, with little intelligence, and uncontrolled testosterone. We no longer recognize male virtues. Alpha males are supposed to be control freaks, over-bearing and aggressive. The alpha males is to be feared. Is that really what masculinity is supposed to be about?

Masculine virtues are about being loving, protecting, and respecting. We love in 5 languages; words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. We protect three ways; physical protection, financial protection, and mental well-being. And we are to be noble in how we respect others, and give honor to all persons. Men who served in the military are familiar with these virtues, and we recognize that females can also display these virtues too. However society looks to its males to provide the lion-share of these. It is an also impossible mission, like being a saint. However that is what I believe being a man is all about.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adina, It seams like they are trying to push their agenda.

[Christen]

Adina, I agree with your thoughts wholeheartedly!

Christen x

[Linda Stockings]

I think Confucious nailed it pretty well. No matter how feminine I feel, and no matter how successful I can dress, those thoughts are always there for me, and rather "haunting".

Linda

[Beverley Sims]

Too much thinking here, all we need to do is have a caring and thoughtful role in life.

That is not gender specific either.

[CynthiaD]

I couldn't agree more.

Striving for virtue is what separates us from the beasts.

The beauty of being transgendered is that one can recognize, and strive for both masculine and feminine virtues and integrate them into a whole human being. One is no longer bound by stereotypes of what it means to be masculine -- or feminine.

[Teresa]

The whole issue is becoming more confusing, far more jobs now are done equally by men and women, far more men stay at home to keep house and far more people work from home. As Isha says how do you describe a man in a masculine role, it's easier to describe a woman's role.
Perhaps we're only talking from a western perspective but our roles are becoming more integrated, gender differences are less important. Maybe CDers will be more openly accepted !