Should I?

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Girls,

As you may know I told my best friend and his wife about me at the weekend and thankfully they were both really good about it.

Now he has rung me today and invited me over on Saturday night and has said I could go as Gemma if I liked. Now when I told them I said I would not force any of this on them but it seems like they would like to meet Gemma. I have shown them some pics of me but that all.

So, should I go as Gemma on Saturday or not, is it too soon after my big revelation or should I just go for it?


I feel like I am on the edge of a springboard wanting to dive in but I still feel really nervous. Why?

Gemma xx

[Jamie M]

I can totally understand where you're coming from , but at the end of the day they asked and i'm presuming it was without any kind of hint dropping . I'd say go for it if YOU are ready for it .

just let us know how it goes :)

[Wendy me]

i would say if thay are comfy with it.... and you are then go for it.....

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Gemma...as I have already said to you...you know your friends better than anyone else...so you are the best judge...but I can well understand the temptation...good luck.!!
Love Nikki. xx

[Bernadina]

My first thoughts are:

"How well do I really know this person"? Is he looking for girlfirend?

I'd be a little bit hesitant.

I'd come out and show Gemma to your wife before anyone else. She could feel extremely hurt that you dressed for someone else first.

Then Gemma and your wife could go visit your friend together.

[DonnaT]

Of course, go as Gemma. It's apparent they want to meet Gemma.

[uknowhoo]

I can totally understand where you're coming from , but at the end of the day they asked and i'm presuming it was without any kind of hint dropping . I'd say go for it if YOU are ready for it .

just let us know how it goes :)


:iagree: You're not pushing, they invited. It sounds like they're trying to be proactive in their support. What a wonderful gift from dear friends.

Good luck (and let us know).

Hugs,

Tammi

[Gemma Rhodes]

My first thoughts are:

"How well do I really know this person"? Is he looking for girlfirend?

I'd be a little bit hesitant.

I'd come out and show Gemma to your wife before anyone else. She could feel extremely hurt that you dressed for someone else first.

Then Gemma and your wife could go visit your friend together.

Im not married Bernadina, I live on my own. He is my best friend and I have know him for over 20 years and his wife for the last 5. Thanks for the concern but the situation is not what you think.

Gemma xx

[Phoebe Reece]

Gemma, it's natural to feel a little unsure about this so soon after revealing your little secret. But it sounds like your friends are understandably curious and want to help you be more relaxed about being Gemma.
I think you should put your fears behind you and take them up on the invitation. If you turn them down, they may feel you are still holding something back. In any case, you should only do what you are comfortable with.

[Julia Cross]

Based on what you have written, it sounds they like they are honestly encouraging you to be comfortable. And likely, a little curious, but that is a good thing. I would go dressed but would bring a change of clothes in case you feel awkward later on. Also, dress conservatively, put your best hosed foot in pump forward.

julia

[Sally Gray]

Gemma,

I'm inclined to agree with Nikki. However, if I was in your shoes and from your various postings, knowing the opportunities you have to be Gemma I would in the instance go in boy mode. I know most of the other replies have suggested going dressed.

Let me explain my reasons.

You are obviously very close to this couple and they are important friends.

Everybody here knows how important it is to us being able to be femme is, but good and understanding friends are even more important in times of crisis, I would want to show them that it isn't the be and end all (although in reality it might be!), it is their friendship which counts the most.

And I would tell them that is why I haven't come as Gemma this time. As they are that close to you there will be other chances.

Personally, I would take more pictures and talk with them more about Gemma what she likes and doesn't, her ambitions.

As a comparison - if my wife, who knows I dress, suddenly said "you can be dressed when I get home", although it would be very tempting but I would go for moderation, may be leaving it for a little while..really not pressing the issue and making seem important to me.

I may seem negative on this but caution and respect has got me further than I could ever have dreamed possible.

But as Nikki says -
Hi. Gemma...as I have already said to you...you know your friends better than anyone else...so you are the best judge...but I can well understand the temptation...good luck.!!
Love Nikki. xx

Best Wishes

[Sophia Rearen]

I relish any chance where I am invited as Sophia. Why would you not? It's safe. It's comfortable. Enjoy.

[Cathy Anderson]

I, too, would hesitate.

Sometimes people have mixed motivations when they offer something like this--including motivations they might not be aware of.

What's the hurry? If it's a good idea, that should only become more apparent if you give it some time. But if you act too early and make a mistake, you limit alternatives.

Your friend seems just a tad too eager, if you ask me. I wouldn't say something like that elsewhere, but here you really need to count on us to tell our honest thoughts and/or intuitions, right or wrong.

Cathy

[Julia Cross]

Sally, after reading your response, I think perhaps going in drab would be wise. Your comments were excellent and I think far wiser than mine.

Julia

[Maria D]

I don't think comments are really helpful tbh. Sally's right, for 'some' people, and Julia is right, for 'some' people'.
Some of my friends have been fantastic, and no 'caution' was needed at all, total acceptance came as standard. Some people though want nothing to do with it, and that's that.
So, I don't think 'one size fits all' advice helps. Gemma, you know your friend, do what you think best. Ignore fear, listen to your heart honestly, and you'll know what to do.

Either way, enjoy your night out :)

Take care
Maria

[FionaAlexis]

Gemma,

In this case it would seem their only motivation is to give support and let you know you are a very much their friend and that's not changing however you are dressed.

So go.


Fiona xx

[Tracy Lynn]

It sounds like a great opportunity. I would go for it.

[Miss Vicki]

By all means. Go! It is what you and we have been waiting for. If you do not, then you will always wonder. What if........?

[Kieron Andrew]

go....ive told you before go for it!! they want to meet you!!! they were the ones that invited you

[Bernadina]

Im not married Bernadina, I live on my own. He is my best friend and I have know him for over 20 years and his wife for the last 5. Thanks for the concern but the situation is not what you think.

Gemma xx

Sorry. I shouldn't have assumed you were married.

I'd still go slow. It would be great though, if they were fully supportive.

[Sharon]

I think your friend wants to meet you as Gemma, otherwise he wouldn't have said it was up to you.

If you feel comfortable, Gemma, then you should definitely do it. And don't forget to have a good time!!

[paulaN]

you told them about your dressing and now thay want to meet her. seems to me you should go. I agree with the change of clothes idea. just incase it gets too uncomfortable.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Gemma

The only person who can really decide is you

You have to be comfortable with the idea

talk it over with them first as you have to consider what happen if the get an unexpected visitor will you be able to go and change.
You dont want to end up in a situation unexpectedly.

Other that that small piece of advice i would be very tempted to go for it

[TGMarla]

As everyone else has said, it's totally up to you. I'd like to think that opportunities like this are rare, though, and since the couple seems to be accepting and curious, I'd say get your courage up, and go for it!