Want to do

[JoanneCDSydney]

Well, this is a personal blog of my thoughts.. But comments are welcome.. Sorry my spelling and grammar may not be too great...

I have been dressing on and off most of my life ... And my fem name is Joanne.

Well currently find myself in a relationship with a beautiful woman wo I absolutely love... I have told her about my dressing .. But did not want to explore this with me.

I was fortunate enough a few years ago to have meet a woman that encouraged my life as Joanne. She embraced who I was an encouraged it. This was a. 12 month relationship and I was in heaven. However we started to talk about real changes, hormones, changing jobs and me living as a woman.... Well how exited was I!!!
Then I got scared!! No that's not me !!!
I ran!! Ran to another retaktionship .. To another life!! The one I have now.
.... Joanne wants to come

I am now thinking of the woman that help me be Joanne, we have started to again txt and talk about .. Joanne and why I ran...

Delemor !!

[Joni T]

Why not give it a second try? Sounds like you've got nothing to lose but everything to gain. You don't have to go "all the way" if you don't want to. No one can force you to do it and if you get forced into it, you may later regret it.
Joni

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joanne, Maybe this time the stars will be in perfect alignment.

[Beverley Sims]

I trust you will make the right decision.
All the best.

[Teresa]

Joanne another born on the 2nd April , I had to reply !
Maybe slightly different context but I had a GF who loved my CDing, more to to do with sex. She never talked about or wanted changes to me, our relationship was great but eventually I walked away because I felt I couldn't trust her.
I'm wondering if you ran because of the same reason of lack of trust ?
Isha might have some words of advice for you !

[Charla McBee]

This part of you isn't going anywhere, some second chances might be in order.

[mikiSJ]

I think I am with most of the girls above but I am a bit worried this individual wanting to mold you into what she wants and not necessarily what you want. She sounds a bit over-controlling and very dominant.

Just be careful and understand this is about you.

[Marcelle]

Hi Joanne. When I read your post I see a bit of conflict between who you want to be and who you are now. I get the impression that your current relationship is more of a "Don't ask, don't tell (DADT) situation . . . she knows but does not want to partake, see or share in it? Or is it that you just don't dress anymore?

In either circumstance, I do get the impression that Joanne is very important (emotionally to you) as you stated that the idea of transition (hormones, living as a woman) in your previous relationship "excited you". But when you explored those emotions, you got scared and "ran away" from your previous relationship. I do get the impression (again an assumption on my part) that you might have some level of gender dysphoria and you really should explore that with a therapist before making any relationship commitments. Specifically, do you want to be Joanne (full-time . . . live as a woman) or are you more inclined to a "part-time" arrangement (guy/girl existence). Sometimes we run from the things which confuse us because it is the easiest way to deal with conflicting thoughts. I am not saying go back to the previous woman or leave the current relationship but more so, figure out who you need to be then work on your relationships with a clear and free heart.

Hugs

Isha

[Desirae]

You say you're in a relationship with a woman whom you absolutely love. Yet, you're texting and talking to another "love interest" from years ago. I guess I'm not understanding where this absolute love is. In my book this is cheating, even if there is no intimate contact. You're doing this behind your current love interest's back, no? Either you love your current GF or you don't. Maybe you don't love her as much as you think. If your desire to dress and possibly go on hormones, transition, etc is the impetus for wanting to pursue your former love interest again, just because she supported it and encouraged it, I think it may just be the "Pink Fog" clouding your judgment. I don't think it's fair to a current love interest to "check out" a former love interest to see if there are still sparks with the prior relationship, while keeping the current love interest in the dark about the whole thing, "just in case" there isn't. Just my:2c:

[JoanneCDSydney]

thank you all for your comments.. yes will be seeing someone about this .. as its a reoccurring issue with me. Hate hurting people, and hate feeling sorry for myself.. xxx

[JoanneCDSydney]

Hi Joanne. When I read your post I see a bit of conflict between who you want to be and who you are now. I get the impression that your current relationship is more of a "Don't ask, don't tell (DADT) situation . . . she knows but does not want to partake, see or share in it? Or is it that you just don't dress anymore?

In either circumstance, I do get the impression that Joanne is very important (emotionally to you) as you stated that the idea of transition (hormones, living as a woman) in your previous relationship "excited you". But when you explored those emotions, you got scared and "ran away" from your previous relationship. I do get the impression (again an assumption on my part) that you might have some level of gender dysphoria and you really should explore that with a therapist before making any relationship commitments. Specifically, do you want to be Joanne (full-time . . . live as a woman) or are you more inclined to a "part-time" arrangement (guy/girl existence). Sometimes we run from the things which confuse us because it is the easiest way to deal with conflicting thoughts. I am not saying go back to the previous woman or leave the current relationship but more so, figure out who you need to be then work on your relationships with a clear and free heart.

Hugs

Isha

Thanks Isha.. very insightful
I have made an appointment with a gender councillor early next month to start working on his...

thank you
Joanne xxx