Reverse discrimination

[Tracii G]

Well today was a first for me.
I was leaving the grocery and two black teen girls and one teen black guy were out front.
I passed by and one of the girls started giggling and the other said Dayum one of them he she do daddies.
The boy couldn't of cared less which was cool until he wanted to act cool in front of the girls.
He said Yo you busy tonight sweetie?
I turned and looked at them then turned around and kept walking, one girl got up and said you are ****ed up you know that?
I turned around again and said lighten up OK? He said yeah bitch I'll lighten up all over your white fag ass.
I continued on to my car put my groceries in the back and walked back over to them.
The guy started to get a worried look on his face and started backing up. The girls were getting bolder in their giggling.
I said what you are doing is wrong you know that its just as bad if I had said something about the color of your skin.
The boy said you better not say anything about it because thats a hate crime bro'.
I said yep and what all 3 of you did is a hate crime too and I'm ready to make a phone call because I'm sure is all on tape from that camera right up in the corner there (pointing to it).
I said you can apologize and I'll let it go.
The girls said we're sorry we didn't me any harm and the boy was nowhere to be found he high tailed it out of there.Big man huh?
I really love everybody no matter skin color or ethnic back ground we all need to treat people as human beings.
I hope they learned a lesson.

[Roxie]

nice to handle a bad situation with a come back as you did ,have to give you a lot credit to stand up against 3 idiots with nothing better to do .You can only hope that at least one of them leaned a lesson .

[Christen]

Oh Traci, well done you!!! Well done!

Christen x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tracii, And the look on their faces must've been priceless.

[AllieSF]

Good job Traci. Very maturely and professionally handled. It would almost be cool that you ran into the girls alone another time to give them and you a chance to discuss what had happened in hopefully a more cool and collective manner. I know that you could do that. I had the same thing happen to me about 3+ years ago coming home from some event in the early evening on BART, our San Francisco Bay Area rapid transit system. The girls around 12-14 and the boys with them about the same age were sitting across from myself and a quieter TS friend of mine. The young girls were the interested parties in this scenario and the guys were just there. They kept asking questions in that early teeny bopper smart ass way, and I would answer them as best I could. The girls got bolder and I think the boys got more worried. Anyway, we got off before they did and on exiting the platform a few people on the train came to our support, so to speak and after the fact, to say how bad they felt for us. I think that when possible, meaning from a personal safety point of view, we can and probably should politely confront our antagonists to help them better understand. It takes some street smarts and patience, but sometimes these dumb smart ass kids can be enlightened. Thanks for sharing and bringing back my memory of a similar situation.

[Starling]

How was that "reverse discrimination"? Race was probably incidental to what those kids said, as it didn't even come up until after you said, "lighten up," which in context was a somewhat loaded phrase. It was a case of gender bias, and that's just plain discrimination. If they had been white teenagers, which is just as possible, what title would you have given to essentially the same story?

I'm really leery of that term anyway, Tracii, because it implies an equivalency between ordinary black people, displaying stupid biases, and the institutionalized racism of slavery and Jim Crow. Anyone can use prejudice to cause discomfort or emotional distress, but only the powerful can--and did, and still do on occasion--use race to get away with oppressing millions of people. I take you at your word when you say, "I really love everybody," but I think it's wiser not to bring race into it unnecessarily.

:) Lallie

PS: It's not a hate crime unless there's violence.

PPS: I'm glad you weren't harmed.

[Desirae]

I don't know if I'd have the guts to do that. You hear and read about so many situations that go extremely bad. In this day and age you don't know what these people "have"on their person and what might set them off to use it. Don't get me wrong, as a guy I have always been able to handle myself. But, dressed might be a different story. Sometimes there's a lo of friends around and the situation can go from bad to worse. Look at what happened to that poor guy up in Detroit who accidentally hit that young boy. The attacked him and savagely beat him, nearly to death.

[Tami Monroe]

It is amazing how worthless some people are in general, much lees when they find out they are on camera.

[Tracii G]

Starling the boy threatened me verbally but maybe you missed that part and yes his retort was racially voiced.
Not that I was worried about him actually trying anything.All bark no bite type thing.
By showing them they were discriminating against me because I was different is just as bad as someone doing that to them based on skin color.
I think the girls were really sorry I really do and hopefully they won't make fun of trans people in the future.
You have to stand your ground sometimes and do the right thing.
I mentioned the encounter to a neighbor who is a local policeman and he said I did the right thing.

[Michelle789]

He said yeah bitch I'll lighten up all over your white fag ass.

It sounds like you got a double dose of discrimination. You got reverse racial discrimination for being "white". And you were the victim of homophobia or transphobia because he used the word "fag".

Even if he didn't make the racist comment, you still were the victim of a transphobic or homophobic threat. The way he said it, and probably his mannerisms and tone of voice, it was definitely a threat.

I would have called this thread "Double Discrimination". It sounds like they committed a "double hate crime." The racist transphobic crime of the century. Our tagline will be "Racism and Transphobia on Trial"

Discrimination can go in both directions. It can go against black, white, Latino, Indian, Asian, and anything else. It can go against women or men. It can go against homosexuals or straight people. And it can go against transgender or cisgender people too.

I think you handled it well, and the police officer told you so too. I too hope the girls learned their lesson and treat trans people better in the future.

[Tracii G]

Starling I expected getting flak because race is such a hot button for a lot of people.
I treat everyone with respect and would just like to have respect shown to me. I never judge a person because of what color their skin is that ridiculous.
We are all human are we not?

[paulaprimo]

tracii, i think you handled the situation extremely well!
as i was reading it and got to the part about you putting the groceries
in the car and going back...i thought for sure you were gonna say
that you went "bruce lee" on their ass... lol

[Starling]

I read and understood what you wrote, Tracii, but you don't seem to have read my response very carefully. You didn't answer my question about what you would call the event if the teenagers had been white. Would that have felt less hateful? I mainly objected to the term "reverse discrimination." I still think it's bogus, for the reasons I gave. And then you have Tami, talking about "worthless" people. Always and forever? Really?

:) Lallie

[heatherdress]

I am glad this situation worked out, but I am not an advocate of confrontation. Who cares what 3 young people think or say? Unless threatened, why risk a confrontation? I also don't see that this had much to do with race but rather ignorance and hostility related to your crossdressing. Chances are they will behave the same the next time.

Better to simply get in the car, drive away and not let a few comments and giggles ruin your day.

[Beverley Sims]

I have pointed out reverse discrimination in the past and those that are involved do come to the realization that they are in the wrong.

It has never had anything to do with dressing but some people do forget.

[Teresa]

Tracii you were brave to go back and take them on, it's 50/50 if they do it again but the chances are if they do they may push it further with a weaker victim !
You were unlucky to be in the wrong place at the wrong time ! The real annoying part it possibly spoiled a good dressing day ! If there is a next time would you give them a wide birth ?

[emma-louise]

You handled the situation well and showed the teens up for what they were x

[Charla McBee]

Whenever I hear somebody say something I really don't like, I tell them so. They will often back down. You did good.

[Marcelle]

Hi Tracii . . . well played sweetie. Glad to hear you took the moral high ground as sometimes it is better to educate the masses with a "carrot" vice the "stick". I am sure they will think twice before going into a giggle fit again. Love the fact that the dude ran away . . . yeah "big man" alright . . . wonder what the girls thought of him after that.

Hugs

Isha

[Launa]

You have always had big balls and stood you're ground. Good job Tracii

[Deedee Skyblue]

You were the victim of discrimination and there is nothing reverse about it. As you say (and as you live), we should all respect each other. Not everyone is willing to point this out to other people in a calm, rational manner. I think you are courageous and also well-grounded in your sense of who you are, AND in how people should be treated.

I don't see this event as a hate crime, because I don't think any actual crime was committed. It is not against that law to express a hateful opinion. It is unfortunate that there are people who have hateful opinions, but if we start legislating speech, sooner or later, the people deciding what is against the law will make disagreeing with them against the law (this is what Political Correctneess is trying to accomplish, in my own hateful opinion).

Just in case my opinion here is not clear, you did good.

Deedee

[Jessica86]

Oh how I hate living in Texas. Animals have more rights than TG persons here. No laws to protect us at all.

[CarlaWestin]

Well done. Personally, I'm tired of all the race baiting shit. Punk ass dude needs to lift his knuckles off the ground and join mature society.

[Tracii G]

Starling it would not have made a bit of difference what their skin color was.
I used the term discrimination because that was my point.
The opportunity to show them what they were doing to me was discrimination pure and simple and that its not OK no matter who you are.

I don't want to get in a pissing match with you Starling.If you don't like how I handled it I'm sorry I wish the incident never happened.
My focus is to educate others when out and about enfemme if the occasion arises.

Deedee I'm all for free speech.

[joanna4]

Amazing. If what you told us is true then you are very bold and brave. You armed yourself with courage at the beginning of the ideal. You were smart in pointing out that what they are doing is just as much of a hate crime as you having to talk about the color of their skin and you used your surroundings such as the camera.

Also, the guy wasn't very smart in saying that it is a hate crime(about their skin color) when in fact they have committed a hate crime themselves for harassing you. Anyway, the last part was surprising in that they apologize. So I guess there is hope in this world to turn the ignorant/stupid/uneducated/intolerable people into understanding people. Well at least for the the time being such as in this case. Thank you for sharing.

[Alice Torn]

Tracii, That took guts. It could have turned far uglier, if they had tried to bear you up. It may have been on the 6 o clock news. But, you handled it with strengyh, and wise words.

[Erica Marie]

Tracii gurl you rock. As far as I am concerned you handled the situation very well. You put them in their place and you did it by educating them in a fashion that they would understand. Alot of people speak before thinking and some people just have no common sense. At times u just need to do what you gotta do.

[Tracii G]

Joanne its not about being brave its more about confident in who you are.
If you can educate one person out of 2 or 3 at least you are making a difference in how we are perceived by the public.
I kept it calm,rational and to the point.Its all I can do.
I'm know when to speak up and when to walk away and keep my dignity.

[NicoleScott]

If you don't like how I handled it I'm sorry...

I re-read the post and Starling's responses to it. From what I read, Starling's criticism was not about how you handled it at the time but rather how you characterized it as reverse discrimination. I agree that it was discrimination but not reverse discrimination. Mostly it was dumb kids with big mouths.

I think the kid who said it's a hate crime was admonishing his buddy to not start a fight, as then it might be grounds for a hate crime if an assault actually ensued.
Saying "if you apologize I'll let it go" implies that if no apology is forthcoming you won't let it go. Sometimes it's best to just walk away (both sides).

[Starling]

Tracii, I don't want a pissing match, either. (I'm pretty sure I would done my pissing in the parking lot.) I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear that I think you handled the situation well--if perhaps a bit too bravely :-)--in the moment. As for the rest of it, Nicole made her point while I was composing this, and I pretty much agree with what she said, with one exception; and it applies to the use of the second word of the phrase "reverse discrimination."

In point of fact, what happened to you wasn't actually discrimination, for that term implies the application of a policy which refuses someone access to rights, goods or services on the basis of a personal attribute the boss doesn't like. That's the crux of my belief that the term "reverse discrimination" is itself illegitimate. Those juvenile delinquents weren't denying your rights or your freedoms, they were simply expressing their completely biased and effed-up opinions. If the boy had physically assaulted you, that would have been a hate crime.

:) Lallie

[Katey888]

Quits now ladies, please... :)

I think we've all got the definition clear - whether you term it discrimination or just plain rudeness and abuse, the point is how to handle it when it happens... Tracii was the subject of the verbal attack in this case, and dealt with it in her own inimitable way... I think we can stretch a little the textbook definitions in pursuit of some common support for one of us in an awkward and potentially bad situation... :D

Let's keep it off race and technicalities and on-topic please from here...

Katey
Moderator

[Tracii G]

Perhaps I didn't need to use the term "reverse" and just said discrimination.
The last thing I want is get into an argument so Lets just let this go.
I'm trying to help others if they get in situations like this and possible ways to handle it nothing more nothing less.
I'll just keep quiet on this site and lurk.

[Starling]

Please don't do that, Tracii. Hearing about your experience was instructive.

:) Lallie

[Michelle789]

Traci, I was just saying I thought it sounded like double discrimination rather than reverse discrimination. I think you have a very valid case of racism and transphobia. And I think you handled it very well. I am totally with you on not judging people by their race, color, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, and other things. We are all human beings and deserve love. :) :) :)

[alwayshave]

I think the kid who said it's a hate crime was admonishing his buddy to not start a fight, as then it might be grounds for a hate crime if an assault actually ensued.

Nicole is quite correct. Someone exercising their first amendment rights, whether offensive or not, is not a crime. A physical assault based upon a perceived bias against race, gender, ethnicity, etc. is a hate crime.

[Tracii G]

Anything I say is moot at this point so I think I'm done.

[shedevilcd]

You go girl......that is no fear and the simplest way to deal with people......But as we all know things could have ended a lot different too.

[Jamiegirl1]

Wow,you handled that very well,not sure what I would have done in that situation.....it was total discrimination by these kids.....I see why you call it reverse discrimination,being black kids,they probably have been victims of it themselves....I see what you meant...please don't just lurk here because of some people who have to over-analyze your choice of words....some people just love to argue and criticize others........you did and said the right thing!!! I am proud of you.....XOXO Jamie

[sayhi2dd]

Wow.. I can't imagine I'd have the nerve to do what you did. You're one strong lady.. god bless..

[Vickie_CDTV]

Forget the whole discrimination thing, that was a good way to get yourself killed. You should have said nothing back and kept on going about your business (with one eye on them to cover yourself.) Talking back or confronting someone like that is the worst thing you can do. Regardless of race, those kids have no respect for others and probably have little respect for human life either. They could have been armed with a weapon and seriously hurt you. They always tell people in self defense classes, walk away and only confront if you have no choice, it isn't worth your life to prove a point.