Your Thoughts

[Rachel Smith]

I have been feeling a bit down lately. I am not sure why. Nothing serious just a blah kinda feeling. Back is still sore, boobs still not growing.

I don't really feel like writing and I need to send an email to one of my cousins and a nephew. Speaking of Jordan I received an invite to his wedding in May of next year. It was addressed to Aunt Rachel, how cool is that:)? I feel I need to write and make sure he and Laura understand what may happen if I go, the quiet whispers and such. Then there is his Dad who is the biggest redneck manly man you will ever meet and he is not a very happy or accepting person. I don't want to take away from THEIR day. There was a note in the invite that said he can't imagine what I have been or am going through but he is trying to understand. I worry more about the affect it has on other people because I know how hard it was for me and I don't wish to make anyone else's life more complicated by this dilemma that is my life. Perhaps that is the reason for my doldrums as I do so want to go but I also don't want to be a distraction. On the other hand then EVERYONE in my immediate family will know and it will complete my coming out.

All I want to do is sleep and that is usually what I do when I have something I have to deal with but don't really want to.

Any help from those that have gone before me will be appreciated. Any opinions from those that haven't are welcome as well.

Hugs
Rachel

[Kaitlyn Michele]

First off you can go to a psychiatrist to cover all the bases
...I am no expert but some of what you are saying has elements that seem like depression...



Anyway, the focus is on you. You have to embrace this thought. You are allowed to care about yourself. I'm not saying other people don't matter. If there is a situation you feel is a problem, then don't get in that situation but you have to then move on.
You do not need to write and set the stage for a problem. You are invited. That's YOUR invitation and you have every right to accept it just like any other person

.... you gotta get that mindset going... transition works when you feel like any other person..
yes sometimes we have real life slaps where our uniqueness causes problems...well guess what, lots of people have issues that cause other people lots of problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it happens at every wedding, every party and every funeral....its always something... sometimes it's ok if that something is you...

[Rachel Smith]

It wouldn't be a problem I am afraid of it being a problem for them in that it may detract from THEIR day.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

what about YOUR day?

It's up to you, but you were invited as a guest. You have every single right to be there.

If others detract from their day, its totally on them.

It's a mindset. You can work towards giving yourself the emotional room to allow your transition to impact others but also accept that if they act poorly it is about THEM, not about you... if somebody acts like a jerk then its on them, not you.

[Janice Ashton]

I am in a very similar position, very good friends of mine (known a long time, so I think) are getting married in August next year and I have been invited (verbally) no invites sent out as yet. The couple getting married know full well I am in transition and have always said to me be the person you want to be. Fair enough, but now the BIG Wedding is coming along they have said they are not inviting me as Janice as it would be a problem for their respective families and their children ? So say... So although they think I will be attending as I have not said anything untoward I will simply send a card wishing them the very best in their future married life together sign it from 'Janice'!! and NOT attend. End of..
It's up to you Rachel how you deal with it, this is how I am dealing with it.. May not be of any help but your problem is shared..Good luck..

[Rianna Humble]

I can feel for your dilemma, although the situation I faced was not quite as simple as yours, because the invitation I accepted was sent before they knew about my transition. In that sense, my solution has no bearing on your dilemma.

I think that it is very sweet of Jordan to invite you, and that you have every right to accept his invitation. The fact that he says he wants to understand shows that he is a very loving and caring individual. Would there be any chance of phoning him to talk through your concerns? I am sure that he will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

[Rachel Smith]

Rianna that is what I am thinking of doing.

Kaitlyn your advice is great as well. If I go that will be my attitude for sure. I just would like Jordan and Laura to know upfront what could possibly happen. I would love to attend but it is the biggest day of THEIR young lives and I don't want them to live the rest of their lives wishing they had never invited Aunt Rachel.