patti.jean
06-22-2014, 03:10 PM
I have expressed here before that I facilitate a Gender Book Club at our local LGBT community center. The Book Clubs selection for June was “The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to Their Younger Selves” The book is collection of 64 letters written by authors to their younger selves. As part of the discussion, the club is encouraging everyone, even if you have not been part of the book club, to give thought to writing a letter of advice to your younger self. So, I went first and this is my letter to my younger self that was published in the local LGBT newsletter.
Letter to my younger transgender self.
Inspired by the book “The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to Their Younger Selves”
By: Patti
Where you are from does not determine who you will become. Where you have been does not determine where you are going. Being yourself will not be easy, you will try to suppress what you feel to find a world where you can fit in. You will be challenged with pushing aside guilt and shame. I wish I could tell you how to avoid being so hard on yourself, but there are no easy answers. It will take time to understand who you are and adjust to a world that believes in you.
Trying to fit into a mold that is not you, will always fail in some way. Be true to who you are. Being in a relationship while suppressing part of you, no matter how committed you are to fitting in and making it work only delays the inevitable. This is easy to say from where I am now, when all you want is to fit in, the harder you hold on, the more difficult and painful this becomes.
Explore, yes wonder to the fringes of what you feel and look around. This is where you will find solace in expressing yourself. Yes once again easy for me to say, I know this will require some tough decisions, maybe requiring you to distance you from people in your life, but these things have always been the price of being an explorer. You will discover a new and better world.
By the way, joining the Marine Core to become a man is going to be a great experience, but the becoming a man thing is not going to work. Some more advice; when you are in California stay in California! I will never understand why a Midwest farm “boy” was so quick to leave California and go back to Michigan. Going back to your hometown and your high school sweetheart, thinking you have changed, may work in a Bruce Springsteen song, but it is not meant for you. Sorry!
You will eventually find your way, I only hope, with my advice, your journey has less detours and takes less years then it took me.
Letter to my younger transgender self.
Inspired by the book “The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to Their Younger Selves”
By: Patti
Where you are from does not determine who you will become. Where you have been does not determine where you are going. Being yourself will not be easy, you will try to suppress what you feel to find a world where you can fit in. You will be challenged with pushing aside guilt and shame. I wish I could tell you how to avoid being so hard on yourself, but there are no easy answers. It will take time to understand who you are and adjust to a world that believes in you.
Trying to fit into a mold that is not you, will always fail in some way. Be true to who you are. Being in a relationship while suppressing part of you, no matter how committed you are to fitting in and making it work only delays the inevitable. This is easy to say from where I am now, when all you want is to fit in, the harder you hold on, the more difficult and painful this becomes.
Explore, yes wonder to the fringes of what you feel and look around. This is where you will find solace in expressing yourself. Yes once again easy for me to say, I know this will require some tough decisions, maybe requiring you to distance you from people in your life, but these things have always been the price of being an explorer. You will discover a new and better world.
By the way, joining the Marine Core to become a man is going to be a great experience, but the becoming a man thing is not going to work. Some more advice; when you are in California stay in California! I will never understand why a Midwest farm “boy” was so quick to leave California and go back to Michigan. Going back to your hometown and your high school sweetheart, thinking you have changed, may work in a Bruce Springsteen song, but it is not meant for you. Sorry!
You will eventually find your way, I only hope, with my advice, your journey has less detours and takes less years then it took me.