Finally came out that I'm a CD

[Melanie31]

Well I've been doing it on and off for years. And now I wanna go all the way. My gf supports me and helps me shop as well, just need advice telling my mom. And hair free yay!

Love,
Melanie

[I Am Paula]

Congratulations, but you could use some clarity in saying you want to go all the way. Are you talking about transition, or is all the way just being out and about?
If your goal is transition, and living full time as a woman, by all means tell your Mom right away. If you consider yourself a crossdresser, and want to occasionally present female out on the town, then you have to decide what you have to gain by coming out.
Coming out can be a wonderful, liberating experience, but remember, it is a bell that cannot be unrung.
Also, remember the domino effect. By telling one person, you are telling everyone you know.

[CrossJess]

Having an understanding gf is the main thing sweet as that's your parner, maybe future wife, it's good that she goes shopping with you too, also I don;t know your mom and her views on such things but if she a bit against Cding and what ever then tread carefully.

[Beverley Sims]

Melanie welcome to the forum and you should post something in the intro section.
Going all the way?
I would assume just dressing and going out.

[Jenniferathome]

Melanie, why does your mother need to know? Are you living with her and planning to cross dress in front of her? I always ask this question: Are you telling someone for THEM or for you?

[Rita C.]

Welcome, girl you go for it you will love being your self

[sayhi2dd]

Congratulations ! Having a supportive gf is definitely a plus, cherish the situation hon.

[KaceyR]

Congratulations and it's great to have that supportive GF.
Like others have said..you have to weigh gains to potential losses when deciding to go to family.
For me, I knew I had wanted to get out of the apt, and make all aware of Kacey.
I had thought my Mom (only family left except for a cousin) might be a bit more progressive thinking.
In a way though, my whole CDing 'freedom' hinged a bit on what her response would be.
Oh I still eventually might have got out more as Kacey but I might have stalled myself in getting Kacey out till later.

Told her around Christmas, had good talks and discussion..but she supported. A Week or 2 later pretty much told most of main friends.. And Jan 15th was my first step out into the world. Much Kaceying it up since with Good support throughout...I've been blessed that way. But each family is different, and we can't really say how your family will react.
In my case I just stated that I needed to talk to her about something that's happened in my life..
Then brought out my Ipad and showed her Kacey while I talked about it.
But she is a bit more unique.. Dealing with and living thru deep racial issues times (rioting) in South Bend (but being supportive), and she's worked with people that were LGBT and had no problems with that.
So my telling was kind of easier.

So you have a good support from GF at least as a base..(depending on seriousness/solidness of GF relationship I'd say) For me my mom was my base.
You just have to weigh the risks past that point.

[Melanie31]

Not transition my apologies miss worded that was 4:30 am

[Melanie31]

And yes all the way would mean I'm wanting to go out and about

[Dana M]

Congratulations Melanie. Just take it slow.

[Melanie31]

Thanks Dana I just feel comfortable with my self now

[kathrynt21]

Congratulations, Melanie! Do what YOU feel you need to do in terms of who you tell and don't worry about anyone else. I hope you are happy and fulfilled.

[Melanie31]

Thanks kathrynt

[Stephaniew]

still in the closet to family... but I know my mother had to know years ago.. but still have confirmed it for her

[Melanie31]

Stephaniew I'm wanting to but don't know how to she's gonna see that I'm hairless tho and don't know how to explain that I enjoy wearing women's clothes and it makes me feel alive ya know I'm not a ts love my SO that is a GG

[Sara Jessica]

Echo Jennifer, why do you feel a need to tell your mom?

Hair free? Say you prefer it that way, simple as that.

Wanna go out & about? Unless you plan on doing it in close circles where you might encounter mommy in public, then why does she need to know?

From one who has been there & done that, at a time when transition was a distinct possibility, once the Genie is out, you cannot put her back in the bottle. Her reaction may be 100% positive. It could also be such that you destroy her very concept of what her son is all about. I pretty much did that. Is this something you want to risk???

[Melanie31]

Yes I live with my mom due to health reasons and love my panties....

[Marcelle]

Hi Melanie . . . deciding to tell people is a personal choice and is a choice only you can make. However, as with any release of information once it is done, it cannot be undone. Family and friends can be wild cards just as an SO can be and , it will only go one of two ways "good" or "bad". I prefer the litmus test of (1) Do you really care who knows (3) Are you prepared to deal with the consequences of disclosure and (C) How emotionally dependant are you on CDing?

If you are not concerned, prepared to potentially loose friends and family over this and are a point with hiding your desire to dress from others will do emotional damage than perhaps coming out is for you. However if you have concerns and can get by with dressing now and then in private then perhaps coming out is not a big deal. But do weigh all the consequences before spilling the beans to anyone (family, friends or SO). I also note you live with your mom due to health issues. Yours or her health? If she is having health issues, then depending on the severity the health concerns, I would recommend not telling for if she is not accepting then this could aggravate the health issues.

However in the end you know your mom better than us so take all advice here with a grain of salt. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Sara Jessica]

Yes I live with my mom due to health reasons and love my panties....

Of course, that explains everything. Yes, for the love of panties, let's all tell our moms. :eek:

Seriously, you have a lot to think through in making this decision.

[Teresa]

Melanie coming out is difficult, the immediate feeling is the weight lifted off your shoulders.
You've given us some details about your situation buts it's difficult to advise without knowing your age. I'm assuming you're young with a supportive GF but you're having to stay at home to support your ill mother.
I get the feeling that because of your supportive GF you've come out and mother will have to know because you want to freely dress around the house .
If you think your mother will be really upset, show her some respect and don't tell her ! You may have to avoid her seeing you and be patient until your living conditions change.

[Jennifer_Ph]

Of course, that explains everything. Yes, for the love of panties, let's all tell our moms. :eek:

Seriously, you have a lot to think through in making this decision.

I spit my Diet Coke out on that one. Still chuckling. :D

[Melanie31]

Glad I made you laugh Jennifer and Teresa I'll take your words of wisdom under advisement

[Jennifer_Ph]

The thing is Melanie, is that there isn't some magic easy way. First you have to become comfortable with yourself being a crossdresser. Completely comfortable. Then when you let other people in, they're not freaked out by the fact that you are also freaked out. Give it some time. Take it slow, don't put on your first dress and scream off a roof top. Get some experience in your heels for a while. Then when you decide to tell your family and friend you'll be able to comfortably explain it to them. Sure, it's a shock, but if you're comfortable in your own skin others will be comfortable too. Drop it like a bomb... guess what? Explosion. Baby steps girl!

[Melanie31]

Thanks Jennifer I find that ironic your Jennifer my SO is Jennifer and I'm taking my baby steps first day out in public with my under garments on

[Jennifer_Ph]

Atta girl. I remember how freaked out I was in the beginning. Now it seems l was making mountains out of nothing. Good luck!

[Melanie31]

Thanks Jennifer I feel good today

[Jennifer_Ph]

I'm glad Melanie. It's very rewarding when you become who you really want to be. Or are. Ya know? I don't personally crossdress as much - I mean wig, makeup, boobs, etc. For me it's turned into just my favorite clothing - skirts, pantyhose, and heels. I still like to be all Jennifer sometimes, but most times I just really love wearing the clothes. As you gain experience and spend more time - especially on this forum - you will come to find your own way and what makes you happy, comfortable.

[Melanie31]

I know Jennifer I'm feeling good gonna go buy a bikini bottom and some swim trunks to swim in I'm not completely comfortable going in a full bikini but yea and I'm gonna wear a tank top that way the girls aren't exposed to the public

[Jennifer_Ph]

If you've got the body for a bikini, go for it!

[Melanie31]

Jennifer if I had the body I would so rock a bikini but the mid section stomach area is lacking and I haven't perfected tucking and the girls are lacking to only A cups

[Jennifer_Ph]

Trust me, if I had a bikini body I'd flaunt it too!

[Melanie31]

I feel naked with out my sports bra had it on most of the day but I'm at my mom's for a few days and feel like the girls are running free feels good but bad you know

[KittyD]

YAY for you :) You must be super pleased and happy :)

[Melanie31]

With the girls free Hell yes but means I gotta be in boy mode not girl mode.....