Finding a job in early transition

[Michelle789]

Two weeks ago, I lost my job, and am now beginning a new job search. The reason was not TG related, since I never came out to them and showed up to work as a man. I have been living full time since then, except for when I go to my AA home group where I am not yet out so I still go as male. I'm looking for advice on how to go about my job search.

Here are a few things you should know about me and my situation
1. I am a software developer (I do web development front and back end) and have a Masters degree plus 6 years of experience.

2. I am 34 years old, and people typically think I look 26 to 30.

3. I have had difficulty living full time outside of work and going to work as a male, but at least having a few hours every night to dress as my authentic self helps a lot. What I cannot do is be in a situation where I have to accept work far away, spend 3 hours round trip commuting, and have no time to dress at home, and have to go Monday through Friday as male and only dress on the weekends. This is a definite no no. If I do find work as a male and come out on the job, I will need to seriously consider moving to nearby my job so I don't have to commute, thus maximizing time dressed as myself.

4. I haven't started any documentation changes yet. I do have a care letter from my therapist explaining any discrepancies in documentation. I'm waiting to come out to my family until I start any documentation changes, and preferably would also like to have a job first.

5. I have had one laser hair removal session and plan to start HRT hopefully late July to early August.

6. I am open to relocation throughout most of the L.A. area, including Long Beach. I'd rather live in more liberal parts of L.A. like Long Beach or Hollywood/Mid L.A. or the East Valley, and avoid Orange County or Inland Empire. Definitely no Lancaster.

7. I have no wife or kids.

Here are some questions I have.
1. Should I search as male or as female, or maybe conduct two different job searches and see which one I get hired as first?

2. If I search as a female, at what point in the interview process should I state that I am transgender?

3. With regards to references, should I come out to references, or ask a potential employer to contact references under my male name.

4. With regards to contacting former employers, should I come out to former employers, or ask a potential employer to contact references under my male name.

5. What about verification of education, since my education is still under my male name?

Please keep in mind that since I haven't updated any documentation that when they conduct any background checks or contact references or former employers, everyone from my past, and all my documentation, has my male name.

[arbon]

Increase the odds of a successful transition by planning and taking one step at a time. Find a job, as a guy. Wait until you know the work environment and feel more secure there. Start HRT, give yourself some time on that to make sure you are really going down the right road. In the meantime keep seeing your therapist, getting hair removal, work on your voice, build up a nice professional wardrobe, figure out what surgeries you are going to need for a smoother transition - like do you need FFS or not - and figure out how to pay for them. And save lots and lots of money for when you do try to transition at work and get canned so you can still eat for a while.

Be patient and plan for a good outcome.


DO NOT GO TO A POTENTIAL EMPLOYER AND SAY A SINGLE WORD ABOUT BEING TRANS OR INDICATE YOU MAY TRANSITION.


Just my advice.

If you jump to fast and transition now by changing your name and looking for work as a woman and your not really prepared you could find yourself a world full of hurt.

[I Am Paula]

I have to say I'm with Arbon all the way on this one. You can go a long way on HRT, and hair removal before you are forced to come out. By that time, you have made yourself indispensable, right? It may sound like you are cheating yourself self out of 'me' time, but transition is easier with a steady income.

[RenneB]

Sorry to hear about the job loss. I've been there and with a BS and MS it still took me almost three years to land another job. In the present economy you should be a little better off. I agree with the others, since your education is relying on your male side, I'd go with that. Land the job and then get past the probationary period.

Depending on the location (I searched from NY to CA) the state that you end up in may not have very good laws for the LBGT community. I know, I'm in an at-will / no-cause state with no gender identity protection. Do your research and know that times of money and no time for CDing is much better than too much time to CD with no money.

Hope this helps...

Renne.....

[KellyJameson]

I lived in Studio City and worked in Burbank and Santa Monica without problems. I always looked for areas and work that had openly gay people living and working in

Certain liberal universities are good candidates to work for if you are going to transition at work.

I'm a little bit of a geek and I have found employers that are made up of geeks tend to expect a certain amount of unorthodox behavior which you can use to your advantage.

You want to go where people are known for bending gender anyway and often this is where those with the highest Creativity/IQ's assemble in the Arts and Sciences.

I always hide among "odd/different people" to blend in.

In my opinion your education is perfect for this.

[Kimberly Kael]

Your skills and location are definitely important assets and should improve your odds. The important question when pursuing a job doesn't have anything to do with your transition: it's all about the skills, insights, and work ethic you have to offer an employer. Don't take your eye off that and make an application or interview about your gender identity. So do whatever is going to let you be most comfortable and stay focused on the job search and first year on the job. If that means keeping up your male persona while you take additional steps toward a thoughtful and well-planned transition? So be it.

Actually searching for a job as a trans woman isn't impossible, but it is harder. Anyone looking into your education or work history may well be surprised, because I think it's a mistake to try to hide your past, and a different mistake to emphasize it. Women have a harder time in male-dominated industries as most hiring managers look for familiar signs of talent using themselves as a model. Overtly trans women have another set of potential biases to deal with. I would be hesitant to suggest that someone in the midst of transition start a job search but then I'd be hesitant to recommend transition. Full stop. It's complicated and awkward, but for some it becomes strictly necessary.

I was pleasantly surprised two years ago when I went looking for a job. I had been living as a woman for more than two years at the time so I had some experience under my belt. That didn't stop it from being incredibly intimidating! As it happened, all of my offers came from companies where the people I was talking to knew about my history. I didn't bring it up, they were simply familiar with my work and that's the part that interested them. Everything else was irrelevant and that's the best you can hope for.

[PaulaQ]

I'd recommend trying to search for a job where you can transition. You are going to have to face this hurdle eventually. You may as well deal with it now. Switching between boy mode / girl mode is a miserable freaking experience. If you don't have to do it, don't.

Yeah, you'll have to be out if you try this. Without a legal name change, you are stuck using your male name. You'll also have to list your work history as a male, and using your male name.

You could try interviewing as a guy, look up their policies on LGBT folks, and then if you are made an offer, tell them you are trans. I think I'd just be up front with them though. It'll make the search more difficult, but in tech, where you work, it's a lot more likely you'll find an accepting company.

[Michelle789]

I think it's very important to also find a company that is stable. The place I just got laid off from was an obviously unstable company. They only two owners, and 4 employees. I was the only full-time employee. The other three worked 1, 3, and 4 days, respectively. Any company that is unstable is guaranteed bad news if you're an openly transwoman; in fact this kind of company is unstable even for a cis-gendered white male. Companies like this are good jobs if you're starting out with no experience out of college, but are not good long-term opportunities. A stable company is a must if you're transgender.

I also think that I will move nearby the next job (if it is more than 30 minutes drive from where I live in rush hour traffic) so that I can have more girl time on nights and weekends, and hopefully be out to AA and all my friends (non-work related), so that the only thing I will have to do as a male is work. I also like the idea of getting a job and telling them I'm trans upon getting the job offer.

Since I have no wife and kids, can everyone agree that it would be reasonable to at least move nearby my next job so that I can have more girl time, as opposed to spending 4 hours in traffic (I'm serious that commutes can be brutal in L.A.) and having no girl time for five consecutive days every week?

I would probably say that the God Damn Valley isn't a good place to live if you want to find stable employment nearby home. West LA or South Bay/Long Beach area are much better places IMO to find stable employment. This is just the dynamic of the LA job market.

[mikiSJ]

With you skill set, and a willingness to relocate, opens up a lot of possibilities. I am sure you have thought about Silicon Valley and Route 128. The Bay Area, and I suspect much of Boston are TG tolerant, if not friendly. California and Massachusetts have laws protecting transgender individuals.

I have been away from the software arena for almost 15 years but some of the friends I have who are still there suggest that the San Francisco 'App' market may be drying up simply because they are flooding the market with an app for everything. Having back room experience should open a lot of doors.

Previously, when I employed people, I think I would be very annoyed if I hire someone who immediately turned around and announced they were beginning the transition process. I know this attitude is patently wrong, but part of the hiring process is the fit of the individual into the group dynamic. My suggestion would be to announce you are transitioning during the hiring process. You will most likely make a good impression on the hiring manager for you openness and enhance you chances if everything else fits the position.

[Nicole Erin]

If you got your name changed, that would be a huge help.

You have a few choices -
Name change and live full time (working on look and confidence) while out of a job and risk not being able to find one real easy.
Find a job where you think but not really know if you can transition on the job you try. Risk losing the job.
Not transition at all cause you are afraid of how it will effect your work life.

Three great choices right? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I know these two transsexuals who live full time. Neither one passes the best but both work a typical 9 to 5 grind.
One of them went full time before starting her new job and has had few problems with acceptance.
The other transitioned (well more like IS transitioning) at her job and has been mostly alienated, even by old friends.
Both of them work in jobs where they cannot be easily fired.
These two women? One is me. I am mostly accepted because I STARTED my job as Erin. The other is a good TS friend of mine who has to deal with unacceptance daily because she decided to become "Jane" after everyone already know "John".

Here is my advice - Since you are not working right now, start going full time, get that name changed, gender marker (if able to do without SRS) etc. You risk losing no matter what but if they know you only as Michelle, well first impressions...

[Hope]

If there is anything you can do, if there is any possible way for you to NOT interview while trans* DO IT.

Find a job, get settled, get past your probationary period, THEN come out.

You have a ace in the hole in that your background is in technology - tech is one of the 3 acceptable (to the cis world) career paths for a trans woman, the other being entrepreneurship and sex work.

[Jorja]

Sex work????? I would be pretty good at that but I hear it is in and out work. I need something more permanent.

[celeste26]

Software is one of those fields where working at home is also a possibility. Telecommuting instead of driving into some building.

Usually the first year or so of HRT produces only subtle changes easily explained away, and if you telecommute the actual meeting times will be fewer and further between.

[Nicole Erin]

Sex work????? I would be pretty good at that but I hear it is in and out work. I need something more permanent.
Next thing you know, some TS women will be selling real estate.